A New Moon
by Kayleigh Cullen1918
Summary: What if Bella hadn't lay there in the forest that night and had to be rescued? What if she walked out with her head held high? What if instead of turning to Jacob, she turned to her friends? What if Bella truly became a normal, human girl and Edward returned to her life? How would that go? Well, this is what I'd like to think would happen. Rated M for safety as always.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** Hi guys! For a really long time this idea has been stuck in my head and tonight I just had to get it out. When I read the Saga one thing always annoyed me… Well, aside from the kiss in Eclipse, and that was that in New Moon, the only way Bella could function after Edward left was with another guy. I don't know about you, but when I'm down and depressed I go to my friends, not find another man to cling to.

So, in my head, Bella didn't lie down on that forest floor after begging him to stay, she got angry and walked her ass out of that forest and it was her friends who helped her move on.

In this story Bella will finally have some back bone, some fun and some freakin' attitude. No I guess you won't always like her, but I hope you'll understand why she'll build those walls and I hope you'll like my version of who Bella could be with a little help from her friends.

**BPOV**

"Come and take a walk with me," Edward murmured as I closed my truck door behind me.

A walk? I thought with trepidation. While I knew we needed to clear the air, I was nervous about getting everything out in the open.

Three days had passed since my birthday party at the Cullen's house. Three long days since I had sliced my fingertip on the present that Carlisle and Esme had given me, causing Jasper's instincts to override him and attack me. Three days since Edward had knocked me into the table whilst trying to protect me. And three days since anything had been right between us.

Edward was... different. Cold. Did he yell or ignore me? No. He was just distant and not himself. He didn't come over when he said he would, something he'd never done before. When he was over he seemed to crave Charlie's company more than ever and when we were at school he was like a ghost; there but not a part of anything.

Yes, talking would be good. I had wanted to talk to Alice but she hadn't been in school and I guessed that she was spending time with Jasper. I just hoped that they weren't too angry with me over what had happened.

Why did I have to be so damn clumsy? I thought as we made our way into the woods, Edward walking slightly in front of me and avoiding my gaze. If it were anyone else the party would have gone off without a hitch, but no, not me. I seemed to curse everything.

Why couldn't I just be perfect like him? Like Alice and Rosalie? I only hoped that if Edward ever changed his mind about changing me then I would finally stop being such a mess and finally be the girl I wanted to be for him; beautiful and graceful and not such a pain.

We had only just reached the trail when Edward came to a stop. Some walk, I thought as the nerves threatened to get the better of me. No, I shook myself mentally; we had to have this talk. We needed this talk and then we could try and get things back to normal between us.

"So let's talk," I breathed knowing he would hear me.

His gaze seemed glued into the trees behind me as he spoke. "Bella, we have to leave Forks."

I felt my heart sink at his words as I made plans in my mind. What was I going to say to Charlie? How could I convince him to let me go? Maybe if I said that I was missing Renee and then take it from there. Maybe the Cullen's already had a plan in place; one that Alice would approve of and knew would go well. I didn't want the Cullen's getting in trouble with the F.B.I because of me.

"Okay," I nodded shakily. "I just need to think of something to say to Charlie. He won't take it well," I shrugged as I bit my lip. His remained silence and it occurred to me that maybe some of the others wouldn't be joining us and it was upsetting him. Before I put my foot in it, I decided to be sure. "When you say we?" I asked carefully.

"I mean my family and myself."

My heart stopped. What was he saying? He couldn't mean... No. I was being silly; of course he didn't mean that.

"What are you saying, Edward?" I asked quietly.

"I am leaving, Bella."

I felt my head spin as his words, words I had always feared, hit me. He was leaving. He was leaving me.

"You promised," I breathed. "You promised you would never leave me."

"As long as it was what was best for you," he pointed out.

"So this is about what happened with Jasper? It was an accident, Edward! It won't happen again, we just have to be more careful." I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice but it slipped in.

"Bella, it will happen again," he argued quietly. "It's what I always expected would happen. I'm not good for you, Bella."

His words hit me and I remembered my conversation with Carlisle about how Edward felt about his soul, or the lack of one in his opinion.

"Is this about my soul, Edward?" I demanded in disbelief. "You know I don't believe that. Besides, you already have mine. It's yours," I added, trying to get him to see what he meant to me. That a man so lovely and so kind could never have lost his soul.

"This isn't about your soul, Bella," he said forcefully and I flinched. How could a voice that was so harsh still sound like velvet?

"Then what is it about?" I demanded.

"I just don't want you to come," he gritted out.

The words could have been spoken in Latin and I would have had a better chance in understanding them. He didn't want me to come? He didn't want me with him? He didn't want me?

"You don't want me?" I asked, speaking the question aloud and ruling it out already as stupid, Edward loved me.

It was then that he looked into my eyes. The once warm, loving topaz that haunted my dreams was cold and distant and I didn't recognize them. I remembered the look in his eyes three days ago as we watched Romeo and Juliet; they were so warm and so full of love and life. What had happened to change that?

His answer told me everything.

"No," he replied coolly, firmly and whatever confidence I had, whatever hope I had, left.

This is why he had been so distant. This is why he hadn't come to me in the night, why he wasn't even really there with me in the day. He didn't want me. Whatever had once pulled Edward towards me had gone in the moment when he had fought his own brother for me. He didn't want me, a human, around his family anymore, causing tension and rifts to build.

He just didn't want me.

"That changes things," I muttered feeling a lump in my throat and my eyes burn. I was surprised that the tears I felt in my heart, my soul, didn't appear, but I was in too much shock. Nothing felt right or real and all I wanted was to wake up and feel cool arms around me and feel Edward's cool breath on my hair as he chuckled and told me it was just a dream. That something like this would never really happen. "That changes things a lot," I added when I didn't wake up.

His gaze returned to the trees. He couldn't even look at me, then? Is that why he hadn't been able to meet my eyes? Or was it just a mercy on his part to keep me from seeing the ice I would see in them?

"Of course I'll always love you. In a way," he added, breaking my heart and my hopes, once more. "You'll get over this, forget in time. Human memories fade," he frowned slightly.

"And your memories?" I whispered as I felt the sting of tears worsen. "What of those?"

"I'll always remember you," he cut off quickly. "But my kind are easily distracted," he shrugged. "I would like to ask you for one thing, though."

I felt my eyes dart up to his, not even realising they had fallen to the ground. Like my hopes and dreams, I thought miserably.

For the first time in days I saw him. His eyes were molten, full of warmth and an intensity that I didn't understand. One that went against his cool, polite tone and manner.

"Promise me that you won't do anything reckless? Do you understand?" He asked intently.

"Yes," I whispered trying to make sense of what he was saying. It clicked then, when he had told me of his plans if I had died all those months ago in the ballet studio. He was worried I would hurt myself because I had lost him. That must mean he cared somewhat, right? I thought desperately.

"For Charlie's sake, of course," he added, destroying my fresh hopes as the cold returned to his eyes. "And I'll promise you something in return; I won't come back. I won't disrupt your life again. It will be as if I never existed."

I felt my heart shatter at his words. He wouldn't return? I would never see him again?

As my heart broke, shattered beyond repair and my soul cried out in pain and begged him to change his mind, I felt another part of me rise. Apart of me I didn't even know existed; fury.

How could he do this? How could he take back every word, every promise and on a technicality at that? Didn't I mean anything to him? Didn't the time we shared mean anything to him? Didn't he care even that much?

I felt myself chuckle darkly though I felt no humor what so ever.

"Don't worry, Edward. I won't be throwing myself off a cliff because you don't want me anymore," I said dryly.

If my words shocked him, he didn't show it.

That only made it worse. How could he not even care? How could the fact that I said that not even affect him?

"Alice?" I whispered. When he remained silent I knew. The reason Alice hadn't been at school, the reason she hadn't called was because she wasn't here suddenly click in my mind. "She's gone."

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that it would be better this way."

"You did?" I chuckled. "How could you do this?" I muttered aloud without realising it. "After everything that we've been through? After everything that I've gone through for you, how could you do this? Just throw me away like the past six months because you're bored?"

His eyes careful eyes met mine, but he didn't speak as I continued.

"I risked everything for you. My family, my life, I risked it all and I would have given it all to you because I loved you. As foolish and as dangerous and I knew it was, I loved you. When you sat there talking about your need to end my life, I tried to understand. When you seemed hot one minute and cold the next, I tried to look at it from your point of view, from the fact that you were confused and conflicted about what was happening to us, I tried to be supportive. When James tortured and nearly killed me, all I thought of was you and how you would carry this guilt around with you and I worried for you. How stupid was that?" I demanded.

"Bella," he began.

"No!" I snapped. "I gave you everything. I would have given you everything that I was or had because I loved you and you loved me and now you're standing there telling me that your bored?!" I yelled. "After everything I've done, all the risks, all the hurt, everything! How could you do this? Do I mean so little?"

"Bella," he whispered, but I was in no state to listen to his apologies for hurting me, for breaking his promise. I was too hurt, too angry and betrayed to listen to his excuses and lies.

"No," I repeated. "I gave you everything I have, Edward and if you had said you needed more, I would have found a way to give you that. I would have found a way because you were worth it. No one could love me like you, right? No one would ever look at me, or look out for me like you."

I looked into his eyes not hiding a single thing in mine. I let him see my heart break, my anger, the betrayal I felt. I know most women tried to hide it as a point of pride, something I would have done five minutes ago, but why shouldn't he see exactly what he callous actions had caused? Why shouldn't he know that he had broken every promise, tainted every word he spoke to me of love? Why shouldn't he know how pissed that made me?

"Well, that's obviously bullshit."

For the first time I saw true shock chase away the ice in his eyes. I forgot that manners boy didn't believe in swearing in front of women and didn't believe women should ever curse. Well, forget that.

"You want to know something funny, Edward? I have spent every second since we were together trying to be good enough for you. I have tried to be funnier, smarter, and prettier and I never even resented you for it, until now that is. You didn't even notice, did you?" I demanded. "You never noticed just how little I thought of myself around you. I didn't blame you; you were perfect and I wanted to be perfect for you. You were wonderful and loving and, though I was a mess, you loved me. Another thing's that bullshit," I spat in a spurt of fury.

"Bella," he began.

"Oh no, you had your chance earlier. You know, when you crushing my heart and soul? Now it's my turn. I love you. I wanted forever and if not then I wanted every promise that you ever made me. And now you not only stand here telling me that that beautiful promise of forever is void, but you tell me to be careful and not try to hurt myself after you leave. Seriously? Is your ego that large?"

He just stood there. No yelling back, no arguing. It was as if he just wanted it over with.

Asshole. How could he?

One thing Edward didn't actually know about me is that when I was hurt, truly, deeply hurt, a part of me came to my protection. It wasn't pretty or classy and I wasn't proud of it, but it kept me safe.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. I'll move on," I shrugged. "I mean, how hard can it be to replace a guy who has to fight the urge to _rip my throat out_ and _drink my blood every second_? How hard can it really be to replace a guy whose first instinct was to hurt me? I mean, come on, as a boyfriend you kind of sucked. Moody, distant, always in that freaky little head of yours. Always fighting the urge to kill me."

I saw his eyes, there nothing to show my words had even chipped the surface and it made me angrier. I could feel it like a weight in my chest that battled the pain.

"Like I said, not that hard. Maybe this time I'll find a man who can hold me without the need for a blanket in between us. You can kiss me without holding back because another part of him wants to sink his fangs into my neck and drain away my life. A guy who I can hold and kiss and make love to without him breaking me in half. One who I can grow old with. I can marry and have a family and do everything that I would have sacrificed if I were with you."

The part of me that loved him screamed at me to shut up, that hurting him wouldn't help my own pain. That hurting him at all was abhorrent to me, but the hurt, angry side of me was stronger and was the only thing that kept me from dropping to my knees and begging him to stay.

As I stood there, I took in every last bit of him. The strange shade of bronze hair that I loved the amber eyes that warmed me despite his ice cold skin. The lips that used to wear that crooked smile that stole my heart.

I took in my last glance of my Edward. Of the Edward he used to be, of the one I wished he still were. Not the one standing in front of me. The one I was strangely grateful for at this moment because I knew I had to walk away.

I would never have been able to walk away from my Edward.

For one second, I felt my anger drain, my hurt and betrayal and I let him see the love that I felt for him. The love I would always feel for him. No matter that his had obviously long gone.

"Goodbye, Edward," I whispered before I turned and walked away.

I didn't allow myself to turn around to see if he watched me leave of if he had left the moment I that had. I couldn't allow myself because I didn't know which one would hurt me more.

Instead I kept my head high and didn't stop walking until I got to the house and reached into my back pocket for my keys and opened the door with trembling fingers. Charlie wasn't home yet and I was unbelievably grateful for that right now. I needed time to breathe and think without having to worry about upsetting Charlie.

Breathing heavily I let myself slide down the front door. I sat there for hours, until my legs cramped and the sky darkened and I knew that if Charlie found me like this he would track down the Cullen's and try and kill Edward.

That actually sounded pretty good to me right now.

Slowly, I got to my feet and decided to go upstairs and change into something that wasn't wrinkled to hell and wash my face before Charlie arrived.

In my bedroom I realised that something was different. The photographs that I had taken throughout the past six months of Edward and I was gone from my dresser. The jacket that he had borrowed me a week ago that was draped over my rocking chair was no longer there.

Heart in my throat, I walked over to my bedside table and pressed down on my CD player to feel the slice of a fresh cut when I found it to be empty.

I stood there breathing deeply as for the second time within hours fury rose up and over took me. How could he do this? I screamed inside as I sent the inexpensive CD player flying across the room. How could he take my things? My tokens of our time together? My freakin' birthday present? I growled as I sent my alarm into the far wall.

I raged for what seemed forever, ripping my room to shreds, needing to take my anger and my pain out on something.

It wasn't until I heard a car pull up and Charlie's voice call out in the darkness that every feeling, every ounce of energy drained from me and I felt nothing. It was like I was numb as if a wall had wrapped itself around me, protecting me from every ounce of emotion that threatened to rip me apart.

Calmly, methodically, I bent down and picked up my empty CD player and placed it back on the bedside table before I walked down stairs to greet Charlie.

**One week later.**

I knew Charlie was worried, I thought as I sat in my rocking chair, staring out at the night sky.

It had been one of those rare sunny days in Forks, leaving the sky clear and the stars free to shine. It was a beautiful sight, I knew, but I could appreciate it. I couldn't appreciate anything this last week.

After trashing my room, I had gone downstairs to a concerned Charlie. Forks being a small town meant that the Chief of Police had already heard about the Cullen's departure and he had demanded to know what that meant for me.

Unable to summon any emotion, I had calmly told Charlie that Edward and I had spoken and he had decided not to try and pursue a long distance relationship. If I could have felt anything at the time, I would have laughed about the fact that after everything I was still protecting their secret.

Charlie had looked at me with those brown eyes that were the mirror image of my own and nodded his head. He asked if I wanted to talk about it; I said no and he accepted my answer. Since then no mention of the Cullen's or my break up had been spoken of and I didn't know whether I was happy about it or not.

To be honest I didn't know much about my emotions this last week. I knew that if Jasper were here he'd probably have a grand old time trying to figure me out.

After the bout of fury, of pain, I had felt nothing since. Not one single thing.

Anyone would think that after six months in a very intense relationship that I would be a mess. I would cry, scream, and rock myself to sleep every night, pretending I was still in his arms.

I had done none of that. I got up, I went to school, I came home and I went to sleep. I only really spoke when I was spoken to and never offered anything of my own. My friends shared glances every now and then and even the teachers asked me almost daily if I was okay. I would nod and try and give them my best imitation of a smile.

I didn't see what the big deal was. I was okay. I was functioning, which was more than I ever thought I could do if he were to leave me. I was doing well in school, I was up to date on my chores and my bedroom had never been so organized. I didn't see why everyone stared and whispered about me.

I was fine.

When my door burst open, I didn't jolt; I turned around to see Jessica and Angela standing in my bedroom. Something that had never happened in almost a year of me living here, I thought as they came to a stand in front of me.

Jessica stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring down at me whilst Angela stood there trying to look stern, but her eyes were too soft, too much filled with compassion for it to be believable.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked quietly.

Jessica smiled. "We have come to kidnap you. Well, not really kidnap," she added with a shrug. "Your dad let us in the door and even told us to come on up. So, get your ass up, put your shoes on and get yourself downstairs."

I felt myself frown in confusion. "Why?"

When Jessica went to open her mouth, no doubt to order me to move my ass again, Angela spoke up. "Just come with us, Bella. We'll explain soon."

Shrugging my shoulders, I reached for my shoes and slipped them on before following the girls downstairs where Charlie stood at the front door looking anxious.

"How long will you girls be?" he asked never taking his eyes from me. His eyes were filled with concern, something I was used to as of late. Charlie seemed to be concerned a lot about me lately, though I didn't understand why. I was fine.

"We'll be back soon, Mr. Swan," Angela promised as she pushed me out the door.

I could feel Charlie's eyes on me as Jessica pulled away from my house. I gave him a small wave as she sped out of sight.

"Now can you tell me where we're going?"

"All will be revealed, Bella. All will be revealed," Jessica promised.

* * *

It turned out we were going to Fork's High football field. It was rarely used thanks to the constant rainy weather, but tonight it was dry and you could see every star in the sky.

With a firm hand on my back, Jessica marched me out into the middle of the football field, where Angela dropped her back pack and pulled out a blanket, placing it gently on the ground before turning back to me.

I glanced between the two of them. "What are we going here?"

For the first time since I had met her, Jessica's eyes gentled and she offered me a kind smile that made my heart race uncomfortably.

"No one can see you here, Bella." She whispered softly.

I took a deep breath. "I don't understand."

Angela tangled her fingers together. "We're worried about you, Bella. It's like you're not really there. You smile, you talk when we speak to you, but it's like you're on auto pilot. We know you're hurting and we know you're trying to put a brave face, but we want you to know that you don't have to do that with us."

I shook my head. "I'm not hurting. I really am fine."

"Bella," Jessica whispered. "I know we've not always been close and I know part of that's on me. I was jealous of you when you first arrived and I was petty. I hated that Mike liked you because I've liked him for a really long time. Then I had him and he didn't want me," she added sounding so vulnerable, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. A pain I recognized, but didn't want to feel.

"I had him. Mike. I had him and he walked away from me and he broke my heart. I blamed you. I blamed you for everything. Until I saw you at school after Edward left."

I couldn't help the involuntary wince at the mention of his name.

"I saw that look in your eyes… Only it was a thousand times worse. I know how you feel, Bella. I know what it feels like to be betrayed and to have your heart ripped in two and be left there bleeding."

I couldn't believe my ears. Jessica, who I had always thought was as deep as a puddle, seemed to be able to empathize with what it had felt like when Edward had stood there and told me he no longer wanted me.

As much as I wanted to talk to them, to tell them what I thought, I couldn't. I couldn't let myself go there.

Jessica seemed to understand. "It's okay to let it out, Bella. Like we said, no one's here. No one will see, no one will judge. We're your friend's and we want to help."

I literally took a step back from what they were offering, shaking my head. I could feel the wall being to crumble under their soft, sympathetic gazes and it terrified me. The wall had kept me safe.

"I can't," I told them, my voice breaking.

Angela smiled softly. "Yes, you can. We're here for you. I know that a lot of people roll their eyes. Shrug and say that your young and you'll get over it, but that doesn't mean you're not hurting and that your emotions are lessened because of your age. You can talk to us."

I huffed. "You don't understand. I can't. I don't know what will happen if I do. I can't feel that and survive. No one can."

"Bella, you don't have to do this alone," Jessica insisted. "We're here."

I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. "You don't understand," I all but whimpered. "I can't go there. I can't feel that again."

Angela's eyes filled with her own tears. "It's the only way to move on. As much as you hurt, you can't stay this way. You have to feel, Bella. You have to move on."

"What if I don't want to?" I demanded desperately. "What if I want to stay where I am?"

"Because if you do it doesn't make it real?" Jessica asked knowingly. At my look of surprise she smiled. "I know Mike may not be Prince Charming, but I loved him as much as I knew how. I know that this is your protection, Bella. I know your smile hides your tears. I know that when you say your fine, that you're not. I know that you're broken and hurt, but I also know that you're strong and you can pick yourself up again."

"And you won't have to be alone," Angela added.

My wall was no match for them. For the girls who I barely considered friends, who had dragged me out here to help me because they knew I was hurting.

"It hurts so badly," I whispered brokenly.

Neither of them spoke, neither of them attempted to come to me. They just listened as I finally let my tears fall and let the pain out.

"He just stood there and it was like I meant nothing. That I was nothing. He didn't want me. He didn't want me," I repeated, sounding lost even to myself. "And I wasn't much better. I was so angry, so hurt that I thought of everything I knew would hurt him and tossed it in his face. I didn't even mean any of it," I shrugged. "I just wanted to hurt him like he hurt me."

"It's okay, honey," Jessica whispered, finally pulling me into her arms and lowering us down onto the blanket where Angela joined us, rubbing my back soothingly. "You were hurt and you just wanted him to feel the same."

I nodded. I was ashamed of what I had said that day, but I knew I couldn't change it. I knew it was out there and that Edward would forever think that those things had mattered. Why that seemed to me that it would bother him, I'll never know.

"Why did he leave me? Why didn't he want me? What did I do wrong?" I hiccupped.

"Nothing," Jessica soothed, brushing my tears away from my face. "You did nothing wrong."

"I want to scream and I want to cry and it was so much easier to just block it all off. Shut it all away. I don't know what I'm going to do," I admitted honestly.

Ever since I had come to Forks Edward and the Cullen's had been my life, even my future. What would I do now that they were gone? Now that the future I had planned was no longer a possibility?

Jessica leaned back and looked into my eyes. "You are going to carry on. You're going to live your life and find yourself and realize that guys are not as important and we think they are now. That a guy, who would leave you, never really loved you in the first place and is not worth hurting over. That's what my mom say's anyway," she added with a laugh and for the first time in an over a week, I felt like smiling.

"Is it really that easy?" I asked.

Jessica grinned. "No, but that's what friends are for. To make it easier. And that's what we are, Bella, your friends."

"If you'll have us," Angela added.

I looked into their eyes. These girls were offering me the friendship I had kind of shunned when I had arrived. They were offering me another chance in a way and I knew what my answer would me.

"I'd like that."

**A/N** So, what do you think? It's my first time writing in canon… I think that's what you call it, lol! I'd really like thought's and even suggestions. Music inspirations were Dixie Chicks, First cut is the deepest and Just a dream. To those who are waiting for my new chapter of Girls Gone South, it's coming soon! Weeks of double shifts have taken it out of me, but I'm nearly done!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** Hi! Thank you to all of you for your reviews and for adding me! You are beautiful. I wanted this chapter to give you a taste of who Bella has become now and how she's changed over the past seven months. Some will like her, others won't but that might be a theme throughout the story I guess, lol. It was so hard not to drag this chapter out longer, but I just wanted to give you a taste before jumping further into the story.

As always reviews are very much appreciated.

**BPOV**

**Seven months later**

"Come on, Bella!"

"I'm coming! Jesus, Mary and Joseph," I muttered as I dragged my duffel bag out the front door. "You know, you could help," I growled to both my friend's and my dad.

"I'm not getting involved in anything to do with this," he grumbled as he hovered over me.

"And we don't want to!" Jessica called out from behind the steering wheel. "Hi Mr. Swan," she added with a cheerful wave.

Angela, who was still a little shy around my dad despite the amount of time she spent at my house, smiled and waved.

"His Jess, Angela, you make sure your careful out there and that you take care of my girl."

I rolled my eyes, huffing as I finally made it to the car and heaved my bag into the boot. "Dad, we're going camping for _one night_, not shipping out to war."

"It's the same thing," he snapped. "Boys are going to be there."

Slamming the boot shut, I turned to my dad with a scowl. "Dad, I am not one of those stupid teens who will have sex with a guy just because we're alone. Please, could you give me just a little bit more credit and respect?"

Now it was his time to roll his eyes and I wondered if I looked as annoying as him when I did it. "I'm sorry," he apologized grudgingly. "You're a good kid and you have a good head on these shoulders," he added more sincerely, placing his rough hand's on my shoulders. "But you have to realize, you're my kid and I'm going to worry about you no matter what."

I couldn't help but smile. Over the past seven month's my relationship with my dad had changed immensely. Once we were practically strangers, almost uncomfortable in each other's presence.

We were only actually comfortable when we were silent, to think of it. Now, we still were comfortable with silence, but that's not all there was.

Living with my dad for the past seven months finally let me feel like I was the kid, not the adult. Not because he treated me like a child, but because I didn't feel like the grown up. I didn't have to make sure the bills were paid on time. I didn't have to clean up because it wouldn't get done otherwise. I didn't have to worry or feel responsible for running the house or looking after my parent because for once I wasn't the parent.

I could never resent Renee for the way she raised me, but I could admit that I liked living with my dad. A lot more than I ever thought I would.

"I know," I smiled up into his eyes that were so like mine. "Now, come one, say it," I ordered.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Come on, dad. Say it."

He huffed. "Fine... Have fun," he eventually said with a fake smile.

I laughed as I reached up to kiss his cheek. "There, that wasn't so bad. I love you."

"Love you too, Bells," he replied softly before I jumped into the back seat.

"By Mr. Swan," Jessica called out as she pulled out and was soon flying down the streets.

I couldn't help but role my eyes. "Could you at least wait until the Chief of Police is not around before you break every speed limit known to man," I teased.

Jessica giggled. "He loves me and we all know it."

Angela laughed. "Yeah, only because you give him the good little girl routine whenever he's around."

Jessica shrugged completely unashamed.

It was true though, I thought. My dad truly did like Jessica and I knew a huge part of it was the fact that it was Jessica's idea to drag me out of my room that night. She had taken me away and I was numb and more robotic than anything, I had come back with puffy eyes, tears rolling down my face, hiccupping that Jessica and Angela would be staying the night and, though he seemed a little intimidated at having three girls in the house, he seemed relieved that I had finally let my feeling's out.

Ever since that night the three of us had become inseparable. We had sleep overs, we went shopping (I had finally went over to the dark side and actually enjoyed myself); we carpooled to school on most days. At school we walked and talked between classes, sat together and I actually looked forward to seeing them.

I had come to realize even more how little of a chance I had actually given them when I had first arrived in Forks. I had looked on their shopping adventures with distain, as well as their gossiping and constant chatter. Now I was one of them, I thought with a smile.

I couldn't help but glance to the driver and passenger seat and be grateful. They had given me a chance even when I hadn't deserved it and had given me life.

Most would see that as being dramatic, but it was true. They had given me laughter, and confidence and sass and I didn't feel like an outsider for the first time in my life! I walked taller, I smiled more often and I felt more comfortable in my own skin than ever before.

They were my friends and I would forever be grateful for them.

"So, how many people are coming?" I wondered as I shifted uncomfortably on the seat. I was wearing my bright green t-shirt and my cutoff jeans and Jessica's seat were leather. Bare skin against leather, not a good mix.

Since the weather reports had guaranteed sunny skies until Monday a group of us had decided to go camping for the weekend. Which our parents as a group had ruled out. Instead we had compromised on going Saturday morning and coming back Sunday night. We were to phone often and if our service was down, drive to the nearest phone box to let them know we were okay.

They'd also threatened that my dad would throw out asses in jail should we drink, do drugs or have sex. It was strictly boys in one tent and girls in the other.

Of course the guys were bringing beer and who knows what would happen since Ben and Angela were still going strong as a couple. I knew for sure that I wouldn't be uni-sexing in the tents. That was for sure.

"Well," Jessica began as she swung around a corner at terrifying speed and hit the highway. "There are us, Ben, Mike, Eric, Tyler and Lauren," she added the last night quietly.

I groaned. "Are you for real? Who invited her?"

While my relationships with nearly all of the people I had brushed off when I had arrived, Lauren wasn't one of them. She hated me and though I couldn't say I hated the girl I couldn't say I liked her either.

Jessica laughed. "Come on, Bella, if I can hang out with Mike of all people, then you can tolerate Lauren for one night."

"The only reason you're going to tolerate Mike is because Jack is coming," Angela looked up from her phone to throw a grin at Jessica who all but beamed back.

I laughed darkly. "So, your wiles are finally working, huh?"

Jessica scoffed. "I wish. Mike asked him along. I'm just going to reap the benefits."

"And it wasn't Mike who actually convinced Jack, it was Lauren and Jessica is afraid that Lauren will set her eyes on Jack as her new bedmate," Angela added.

It always shocked me that Angela, who was so quiet and sweet, always got the best gossip.

"Great. So you're throwing me under the bus for a guy? And why, for that matter, Lauren's still with Tyler, right?"

Jessica snorted. "Please. Like Lauren has a faithful bone in her body. Tyler as well for that matter," she added with a laugh.

It was true, ever since I had become a more involved part of the group I was in on all the secrets, including the amount of times Lauren had cheated on Tyler and all the times Tyler had cheated on Lauren. There would be a big dramatic fight where they would break up, swear to never see each other again and then get back together again a week later.

"Well, if I have to spend time with Lauren, out in the wilderness then you better make sure that she doesn't get her freakin; claws into him. And since you did throw me under that big, heavy bus, I get to pick the tunes," I grinned as I leaned forward to take out whatever hip hop album that Jessica had in and put in my music.

"Country," Jessica groaned.

Angela laughed as she held up her phone. "Quick, Bella, tell everyone where we're going," she ordered.

I smiled. Angela had started a _YouTube_ account a couple of months ago and made a weekly video of her life, which normally included us and our current adventure. She was actually really popular, which confirmed my thoughts that people tended to open up more to complete strangers than people you saw every day.

"We're rolling in one, two, three," she whispered as she counted down her fingers, holding her phone with a steady hand.

"Hi, everybody! We are on our way to the middle of nowhere," I drawled. "We will be camping out tonight with a bunch of our friends where we will probably be ripped out of our tents after midnight and get hacked to pieces. Tune in later to see out gory and brutal murders."

Angela laughed as she stopped recording. "Brutal and gory murders? Nice. And we are uploading," she grinned.

I knew that Angela would have her face in her phone for a while and Jessica should probably concentrate on driving and so I sat back and started belting out my favorite country tunes.

When Tim McGraw's _Felt Good on My Lips_, I couldn't help but sing louder and more to the music in my seat. Which was a lot harder said than done when you're cramped in the back seat with tents, sleeping bags, clothes and my snacks for on the road.

Half way through the song, I glanced forward and saw that Angela was once again recording me. At one point in my life I would have blushed like crazy and positioned my hair to hide my face. Now, however, I'd had Angela's camera in my face so many times that I didn't even pause.

Facing her better, I sang into the camera with enthusiasm, finishing out the song and enjoying every moment of it. Like I said, it was a lot easier to perform to strangers.

In time we arrived at our camp site. Mike and the others had arrived before us and had already got everything set up. Thank god. There was no way that I could set up a camp site. I was dreading setting up my tent and that was only one of those that I had to throw out and it did all the work.

Ben smiled when Angela stepped out of the car and made her way to him. It was bitter sweet to see them together. Part of me was happy for them and another was jealous and made me feel things that I didn't want to...

Shaking my thoughts away, I waved at the guys and rushed over to greet them while Jessica fluffed her hair and re-applied her make up. For Jack, no doubt.

Jack Bradley had moved to Forks a month ago and for Jessica it was love. He was tall, dark and handsome and nice to top it all off. He was respectful and funny and everything that Jessica needed after being dumped by Mike.

"Hi Jack," I smiled as I took a seat next to him.

"Bella," he smiled, nodding in my direction as his blue eyes met mine. "Enjoy the trip?"

I nodded casually; trying not to smile at the way his eyes kept flickering to the car where Jessica remained hidden from sight. Guy had it bad. I patted his knee. "Don't worry, dude, she's coming."

He only grinned in return. That was when Jessica hopped out the car dressed much like me in her tight t-shirt and cutoff jeans. Only her legs were tanned, something mine would never be, I thought sadly.

I watched from under my lashes as Jack seemed almost aloof when Jessica said hi, like it was no big deal and she was one of the guys. It was cute in a way, this big, charming guy was shy around her and she had no idea.

Snickering at the two of them, I leaned forward and snatched the bag of chips that Eric had been munching on and dug in. While he only flipped me off, I wanted to roll my eyes when Lauren opened her mouth.

"Shouldn't you watch what you're eating, Bella? Any more of those and you're going to bust through your shorts."

While I was always a person who didn't want enemies, I did understand that they were a part of life and always would be. And I was okay with that.

Smiling I turned to Lauren, who all but sat on Tyler's lap. "Well, Lauren, I'm not like you. I don't do all those strenuous extra activities to keep the wait off. So, who is your new bang of the week whose helping you burns those calories?" I asked in mock innocence.

When Lauren all but lunged for me, it was Tyler who pulled her aside, throwing me a 'Why do you have to provoke her?' look. I just shrugged. Once upon a time, I had been extremely intimidated by Lauren, but I had faced much worse than her and survived.

Getting to my feet I strolled over to Jessica and Angela who were setting up our shared tent for the night.

"Do you remember the shy, quiet, wall flower Bella that entered our hallways over a year ago?" Jessica asked Angela.

"Oh, her? I don't know what happened to her. I do miss her, though," Angela replied, throwing me a teasing smirk.

"You're both hilarious," I drawled. "So, what's the situation with tonight? Is it one of those 'If the tent's rocking don't come knocking' things?"

Jessica threw a longing glance Jacks way, who was chatting to Mike and Eric, acting as if he were unaware of her. "I wish," she admitted darkly.

"And you?" I asked Angela, who blushed slightly.

"I am a preacher's daughter," she pointed out virtuously.

"Yeah? So? Those are the worst!" Jessica laughed as she pegged out tent into the ground.

Angela just smiled. "I wanted to share a tent tonight, but my dad cornered Ben and now he's got it into his head that even though my parents won't know if we share a tent, God will. So, it looks like it truly is going to be a girl's only tent."

I nodded my head casually. "That's cool."

* * *

Later that night, as the sun set around us and we burned marshmallows on the fire the guys had built, I decided that camping wasn't that bad.

The guys cooked, made sure that out tent would last the night and even cooked. I thanked god that while I had never been one for the great outdoors, the boys had been raised doing this.

Lauren had calmed down... eventually and now she sat with Tyler and Eric, who were in a heated debate of which form of Kryptonite was more lethal to _Superman_. Green, no doubt, I thought as I Mike sat down next to me, handing me a beer.

He had explained earlier that he'd had to bribe his brother to buy them for us and then had hid them in his car in case his mother found them.

I had never been one for beer. A few months back I'd gotten well and truly drunk one night at a slumber party as Jessica's. Her parents had been out of town for the night and so we had put on our face masks, eaten way too much food, watched every horror and chick flick she owned and had a wee bit too much to drink. It had been fun and we'd enjoyed ourselves, but it was something I could take or leave.

Sipping the beer I asked, "So, how far are we away from the trail?"

Mike shrugged casually as he watched Jack and Jessica whispering across from us. Earlier Jessica had decided enough was enough when she'd seen Lauren chatting to him and had plopped herself down next to him and the two had finally had an actually conversation.

I could tell despite the fact that Mike had been the one to dump Jessica and break her heart, he was still jealous of the fact that she was moving on and with one of his friends. Ouch.

"Not far," he assured me.

I nodded. "Good."

"Why?" he frowned at me.

I shook my head as I sipped at the beer. "Just curious."

No need to tell him that while many feared spiders and bears while camping, I feared fast moving predators with sharp teeth.

_Don't go there_, I warned myself. There was nothing but spiders and bears in these woods... nothing more.

I found myself staring up at the night sky and losing myself for a while. After seven months I was good at keeping myself from remembering the times that brought an ache to my chest, but there was sometimes that I seemed almost masochistic.

My memories, I thought, didn't fade and in a way I didn't want them to. They were mine and though the ending sucked, I wouldn't want to lose them. I just needed time, I guess, until they could come without the feeling of taking a shot to the chest.

Turning to Mike, I spent the rest of the night laughing, talking, singing campfire songs and being spooked by scary stories before we all decided to call it a night.

"He is sooo dreamy!" Jessica sighed as she snuggled up to me. "He is really smart and way too cute," she giggled.

"So you're not afraid that Laurens going to lure him away from you?" I teased.

Jessica nudged me. "I would fight to the death for that boy."

"I don't doubt you," Angela giggled as she snuggled up to Jessica.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep," I admitted. "I keep picturing Lauren pulling a Parent Trap on me and using honey to get some bear to care the shit out of me," I yawned.

"Don't worry," Angela replied with a smile. "We'll protect you."

* * *

The next morning, I stumbled out of the tent and groaned as the sun hit my eyes. "Dude, what the hell?"

"Not a morning person?" Eric teased as he poked the small fire with a stick.

"Not anymore," I grumbled as I reached for a Coke. Some liked coffee, I liked cold and sweet and Coke did it for me like no other.

"We're going to head down to the lake for some fishing before setting up for home," Eric informed me as he opened the can I'd been struggling with.

Eric had come into his own recently. Before he'd had bad skin, greasy hair and had been even shyer than I was. Lately, though, he was calm and laid back. I had to admit I liked this version a lot better.

"It's gone faster than I thought it would. It's too bad that we couldn't convince our parent's to let us stay the two nights," I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair, grimacing at the tangles that were going to be a bitch to get out.

"It is. I know that you thought it would be hell on Earth," he chuckled. I had been very vocal about the fact that camping just wasn't my thing. "We can always come back next weekend," he offered hopefully.

I frowned. "I can't. Work," I replied at his questioning glance. "It was a pain to get our shift's covered. I doubt all three of us could get it done again."

The three of us had gotten part time jobs in Port Angeles. Angela had scored a job at the only music store (I was extremely jealous) while Jessica and I had gotten jobs at a small restaurant.

It wasn't something I wanted to do when I was in my fifties, but it was a job and had gotten me out of Mike's family's store. I had needed to get out of there after what had happened...

An hour later we all made the half hour hike to the lake where the guys settled in to fish and we girls settled in to sunbathe before the dun dissapeared again for who knows how long.

As music played softly in the background and the guys talked in the background, we all relaxed back and let the Sunday morning wash over us. It was one of those times that you could lie there and easily imagine you never moving from that spot in time.

The sun was warm, the breeze cool, the smell of nature surrounded us... and then there was the cold, dirty lake water that was thrown at us while the guys laughed like Hyena's.

Soon it turned out into an all-out war that ended with each and every one was of us in the lake in an epic battle of the sexes.

Sooner than we all would have liked, it was time to head home and so we packed up and headed home. The drive back was quieter than the drive up there, we were all in need of a shower after being thrown in the lake and despite an okay's sleep last night, we had all gotten up early and the hike and water battle had taken it out of us.

Jessica drove lost in her own world, most like involving Jack, Angela was once again on her phone either going over the video footage she'd got both last night and this morning or she was text Ben.

As for me, I sat back and sang along quietly to the music as I watched the sun set, wondering when it would be back.

* * *

"Bella, we're home," Jessica's soft voice awoke me from my dreamless sleep.

I jolted awake and glanced outside to see that we were in fact home. The last time I had looked out my window the sun was setting around us and now it seemed like a blanket of darkness had fell.

"Where Angela?" I frowned, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

Jessica laughed. "I dropped her off first. She tried to wake you, but you batted her hand away like and irritated kitten. She got it all on that camera of hers," she smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Awesome." I groaned as I leaned forward to give Jessica a hug goodnight. "I have had the best time."

Despite the dark circles under her eyes, Jessica winked. "We always do. You want a ride tomorrow?"

I shook my head. "No, I'll either walk or drive myself."

"Why you would want to walk in a rainy town like Forks, I'll never know," she chuckled.

I could never describe to her why I liked to walk to school and back sometimes. I liked the time to think, I guessed. I liked putting my IPod on and letting my mind wander.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek and jumped out the car. It was a lot harder to drag my duffel up the drive then it was yesterday morning. It was my own fault for packing absolutely everything. I had a flare gun in there for crying out loud.

"Bella?"

I smiled when my dad's groggy call. He was lying on the couch, feet propped up on the arm of the chair and had obviously fallen asleep waiting for me. I wondered how many hours sleep he'd gotten despite the five phone calls last night.

"I'm back," I whispered as I pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Go to bed."

"Okay," he mumbled as he closed his eyes and soon began snoring.

Smiling, I pulled the afghan off the back of the chair and tucked it around him gently. He could be sweet sometimes.

Leaving my bag by the front door, I made my way up the stairs. What normally took five seconds seemed to take forever tonight and it didn't help knowing that my bed would have to wait. The last thing I wanted was my sheets smelling like dirty lake water.

Yawning, I stumbled into the bathroom and switched on the shower and stumbled back out. It would take a couple of minutes for the water to warm up and though my dad had built me a shelf in the bathroom for my toiletries, I had ran out of conditioner and had to walk back into my room to get a new bottle.

I knew it would be hard to resist the call of my nice soft bed, but I was strong. I could do this.

Smiling to myself I flicked on the bedroom light and gasped when I noticed the dark figure standing there.

My heart pounded when I looked into to the dark eyes of the person I thought I'd never see again.

"Edward."

**A/N** Hi guys! Thanks for reading and please let me know your thoughts in a review. Also, I have asked this question to Twilighters before and I'll ask you, if you were Bella (New Moon Bella) and you came home one day to find Edward just standing there, by your window, what would you do?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** Hi guys! Thank you so much for your reviews, it was hilarious to read just exactly how you would all react to Edward's sudden return in your life. And to Sarah12030 who posted as a guest... Nice!

**BPOV**

The last time Edward and I were in this room together was the night of my eighteenth birthday. The night that had changed the course of my future.

Edward had looked sad and brooding and I had been so desperate to keep him from wallowing in what had happened earlier that night. I hadn't blamed Jasper or any of the Cullen's for what had happened.

When the man you loved was a vampire you kind of had to expect things to go wrong from time to time.

I had wanted to find a way of making him smile again. Of bringing back the happier, lighter version of Edward that I loved so. I hadn't been able to and I had never seen him since walking into the Cullen's house that night when he had laughed and held my hand and made me so loved.

That night he had given me a most precious gift, a CD of all his compositions, including the lullaby he had written for me.

I could remember clearly the amount of times I had sat there and listened to his music, watched the peace come over him as he played and been so caught in the beauty of that moment. I had felt such love for him in those moments that I wondered if I would burst with it.

Later, after the music had ended and as lay in his arms he had kissed me with such passion... I had been lost to him.

Little did I know that three days later he would walk out of my life without a backward glance? Like all those moments that were so precious to me meant nothing to him.

And now here he was, standing there looking as every bit as handsome as I remembered. His hair that messy bronze, his eyes dark black with hunger and yet filled with happiness. His long, strong body dressed in a white shirt and jeans, much like the day I had met him.

I wondered for a moment whether or not I was imagining him. I had done so in that first week. I had walked into my bedroom and pictured him standing there just like this that for just one second I had thought he was actually there.

"Bella," he whispered almost reverently, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"I couldn't- I tried," he stammered in a broken whispered.

"You couldn't what?" I snapped. How could he do this? How could he break me in two, wait for me mend myself back together and then just show up.

Didn't he understand what it had taken me to carry on after he left? How every night for a long time I had lay there and yearned for his cool arms to be around me? How many times I had cried myself to sleep because I knew that would never happen again?

Hadn't that been his promise? To make it as if he never existed? How dare he come back now when I had finally found some sort of peace?

"I couldn't stay away," he admitted in a broken whisper, his eyes never leaving me. "I tried so hard. For you. To give you a life that you deserved, not one with me where you're always in danger. I tried, Bella, but I can't do it anymore."

Though I stood there, listening to every word, I couldn't comprehend what he was saying.

"What?" I whispered.

He looked at me with agony in his eyes.

"I'm a good liar, Bella. I have to be," he shrugged miserably.

It was then that his words clicked and I was finally able to understand. Strangely it didn't make me feel better; it didn't take the pain away or the anger. It only increased it.

"You lied to me, that day in forest."

I could feel tears sting my eyes as the truth washed over me. I could feel the anger raging through my chest.

"I had to," he insisted. "You wouldn't have let me go otherwise."

His voice, so soft and gentle and yet so broken grated on me. Let him go? I had never been able to. I had been able to push it back, to hold it behind the wall that I built so carefully, but I had never let him go. Not his memory, not the way he made me feel. Even at the end when he made me feel like I was nothing, I had never let him go.

I don't think I'd realised just how much until now.

I had spent months putting him away, pushing him away, as best as I could just to get through the day. I didn't let myself wallow in him, I didn't let myself think of him, but he had always been there. Waiting for my walls to crumble.

I couldn't let that happen.

"You lied," I whispered. "You hurt me and left me... for nothing!" I finished, wanting to yell and scream but I knew that would bring my dad up here and that was something I couldn't let happen.

"It wasn't for nothing, Bella. I would do anything to protect you. Even if it means hurting myself."

"But didn't just hurt yourself, Edward," I snapped. "You hurt me. You destroyed me and made me feel like I wasn't good enough," I said through clenched teeth. "You made me wonder what I had done wrong," I admitted.

"You did nothing wrong," he spoke firmly, his eyes alive with pain and guilt. Good.

"How would I know that? You stood there and looked at me like I meant nothing to you. Like what we had and every promise and every moment we shared meant nothing."

"You mean everything. You always have."

"And yet you walked away without a glance. You left me. You said you didn't want me. You destroyed everything I ever believed in and now your back? Why? If you left to save me, why the hell are you here?" I demanded.

"Because I love you. I always have and I will never stop."

His words tore through me. How I had longed for him to say those words that day and every day since.

"I thought you said you left to protect me? If that's true and you love me, why are you here now? You suddenly become human?" I demanded.

His smile was no humor in it. "You have no idea how I wish that were true. I came back, Bella, because I can't take it anymore. I can't live with and I'm tired of trying to stay away from you."

I laughed. "That's the second time you've said that to me. The first time at school after you'd ignored for six weeks and made me feel like I was going crazy. I thought you were so magical and those words lit up my day. Now? They just make me want to slap you."

I saw the shock in his eyes, the surprise at my words.

"You left for me? How dare you make that decision? You decided to leave uncaring of how I would feel and now your back, once again uncaring of how that would make me feel. Do you know how much it's taken for me to feel the slightest bit of happiness after you left me?"

"I did it for you. I saw the danger you were in every day because of me."

"I knew the danger! Do you think I'm retarded? I knew from the very first moment that I was risking everything for you, but you were it. We were worth it. To me we were, anyway," I shrugged.

"I have to put you first," he began. "Your safety-"

"My safety?" I laughed. "If it were my safety then you would have never come back. You would have stayed away when you realised how you reacted to my blood. You would have left when James did this!" I snapped, thrusting my wrist out to him.

He closed his eyes. "I know, but I wasn't strong enough to leave you. Not then."

"So what? You tried gradually over time? We were together for six months, Edward, how many times did you try to leave? How many hunting trips did you plan not to come back from?"

"It wasn't like that," he snapped for the first time. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Are you serious? You did leave and plan not to come back. I don't know why your here because there's nothing for you. The girl who thought you were her everything, who was willing to give up everything for you though you made it clear time and time again you didn't want that? She's gone, Edward. She is long gone."

"Bella," he started.

"No, the moment you stood there and broke me in half because that's what you decided should happen, anything that I felt for you disappeared."

Okay, that was kind of lie. I still loved him and probably always would, but I couldn't forgive him for making such a huge decision about our future without me and definitely wouldn't forget.

For the first time I saw a spark of anger, and of hurt. "You said some pretty harsh thing's yourself that day."

For a moment of felt twin feelings of regret and satisfaction. Regret because they had obviously hurt him and satisfaction because my efforts hadn't gone wasted.

"What was I meant to say? Please don't leave me, Edward? Please stay? Please don't leave me alone because I don't know how to function without you? Is that better? Is that what you wanted to hear from me?"

He growled quietly. At one time that might have intimidated me, not anymore. I wasn't the same girl he'd left behind and I refused to ever be again.

"No, of course not. I'm just pointing out that I wasn't the only one who said things that hurt the other."

"The difference is that you started this. You stood there and said I was a practically a distraction and I said it because I wanted, needed to hurt you."

"Mission accomplished."

We stood there in silence for a while and I felt at a loss of what to say. I wouldn't allow myself to soak him in anymore, to breathe in the scent that haunted my dreams. I couldn't because I wouldn't survive it again.

"This isn't going to change anything. My mission wasn't the only one that got done, Edward. Your plan was for me to move on and have a nice happy life. Well, I do have one and it doesn't include you. Not anymore."

"You're different. Harder than you once were."

I wanted to slap him again and if it wasn't for the fact that I would be the one who actually felt pain, I would have.

"You bet your ass I am. I will never be that girl who stood there begging you to stay, to love me. I refuse to and I refuse to let you walk back into my life because you've changed your mind. Again."

"Jessica's influence?" he asked.

I felt anger rise in my chest. "Don't you dare. Jessica and Angela have been there for me. They have been my friends when the people I thought were my friends, like Alice," I snapped. "They left me without a care."

He looked like he wanted to say something, but before he could, I cut him off. "I'm going to go in the shower and when I get out, I would like it if you weren't here."

"Bella, you can't just expect me to leave," he huffed.

I raised my eyebrows. "Why not? Leaving me is what your good at."

Without another word I left him alone and walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

Like the last time I had spoken with Edward, I slid down the door and wrapped my arms around my legs.

There was not a part of my body that did not tremble. Edward had returned to my life and was most likely out of it once again.

I couldn't let him back into my heart, I just couldn't. I couldn't trust him with that part of me and let him destroy me the next time something went wrong. It was obvious now that Edward had planned to walk away from me at some point during our time together and how could I trust my heart to a man that is always planning on walking away.

I couldn't. I refused to.

Why? Why couldn't he have fought for us, though? Why couldn't he have seen that thing's would be complicated and dangerous and find a way for us to be together, like I had? I had known the only way for us to be truly happy together would be for me to become like him. To become a vampire and while I knew what I would be sacrificing for it, I was willing to for him. I would never have resented him for it, never.

Why couldn't he have done the same for me?

I knew what I had to now. I had to do what I had for the past seven months and carry on. I would get in that shower, get ready for bed and then act as if Edward had never reentered my life.

* * *

After getting out of the shower, I made my way back to my room. When I walked in to find it empty, the window once again closed like it had never been opened, I told myself I was happy.

I told myself that it wasn't disappointed that he had left so easily once again.

**EPOV**

I crashed into the house, shoving the thick door off its hinges.

Of course she didn't want me back. How could I be so foolish as to think I could have returned to that dark bedroom window, my only sanctuary, and think that I would be welcome after everything that I had done?

Seven months ago, after my own brother had attacked the woman I loved, I had known that the time had come, for me to finally put my own wants and need's aside to protect the one person I couldn't live without. The one person I must live without.

I had been desolate for days, knowing the time was coming closer and closer and I knew that if my heart had been beating, the pain would have killed me the moment I had spoken those wretched words to her that day.

Oh, to see her eyes. The pain in them, the betrayal. How much I had wanted to tell her that my words were lies. That I loved her that I always would. That I would spend the rest of my endless existence seeing her smile in my mind. The scent of her.

I had seen the anger take over her and a part of me was fiercely glad. Then she had spoken the words that had cut me, even though nothing should have been able to. She had thrown my worst fears about myself in my face and though I knew why, it didn't stop it from hurting.

Then she had walked away from me and I had stood there and watched her go, fighting with everything I had so that I didn't chase her down and hold her until the pain in her eyes faded and she looked at me with love once again.

For seven months I had stayed away. I had travelled the globe, searching for Victoria, certain to make sure that Bella would truly be safe. Every second I had seen her in my mind, heard her laugh. Every time something happened I had imagined what she would say.

I had pictured returning to her time and time again and I had to admit it had never ended the way it had tonight. Yes, I knew that I would have to grovel, that I would have to earn my place back in her heart, but I hadn't expected the resolve to keep me out. The hardness to her that had never been there before.

A hardness that I had put there.

Bella had changed; she was a lot more confident and, well, meaner than she one had been.

She had changed a lot physically as well. She had more curves now and I would be a liar to say that I hadn't noticed that and had kept my jaw from dropping. Her face was fuller, giving her a healthy look. She dressed differently, more feminine, which I liked.

I did miss the old one, though, I thought as I sank down the wall behind me.

I missed the one that dressed in figure hiding clothes. I missed the one that stumbled over flat surfaces, something she hadn't done tonight.

I missed the one who looked at me with such love in her eyes.

I hadn't planned to come back. I had meant my promise, even though Alice doubted me. She had said eventually I would give up and return so she wouldn't bother with my moods now since I would return to her. I had vowed that version of the future would change.

Obviously it hadn't.

It was mere hours ago, as I sat in the attic in Denali, ignoring my family and our cousins, playing the guitar faintly, everyone had been one of Bella's favorite songs. Anything to be closer to her.

It was during one of those songs when Alice walked in with her laptop in her hands and sank down next to me, replacing the guitar with the computer and ordering me to press play.

Not caring what I would see, I did as I was told and froze when I heard her voice.

"Hi, everybody! We are on our way to the middle of nowhere," she drawled. "We will be camping out tonight with a bunch of our friends where we will probably be ripped out of our tents after midnight and get hacked to pieces. Tune in later to see out gory and brutal murders."

I knew that if my heart worked, it would be pounding. She looked so beautiful and so confident and sassy and for one second I felt peace.

Then, without a word, Alice had clicked on another video and this time Angela had appeared on screen whispering, "This is what it's like to be in the car with Bella," she giggled.

The camera moved, showing us Jessica sitting behind the wheel, throwing a wink at the camera before it showed Bella in the back seat singing along to a country tune. I had been vaguely surprised; I didn't know that she liked country music.

Instead of blushing at being caught singing, she hadn't hesitated as she began to sing to the camera, moving her body as much as possible to the upbeat music.

She had looked so happy and so full of life and I missed her so much that I didn't know how I could survive another day.

As the screen turned black, Alice had gently cupped my face and pressed her brow to mine.

_Do you see now, Edward? _She whispered in my mind. _Do you see how you can't survive without her?_

I had crumbled into her arms, letting Alice comfort me. "I can't do this anymore, Alice," I whispered brokenly.

_You don't have to, _she replied._ Go back to her. She needs you and she loves you. That will never change._

I had spent the journey home watching all the videos that Angela had uploaded where Bella made an appearance. She was so funny and cute and sassy and I couldn't wait to return to her, though I was afraid of how she would react.

Alice either didn't know or wouldn't tell me. A kind of punishment, I guessed for being so stupid.

I had climbed into Bella's window and the relief I had felt was immense. I was home. The force of her scent had hit me, but it was different, I breathed it in greedily. I needed it, like a human needed air.

Then she had walked in and for a few seconds I had dared to hope that things could go back to normal and then my dreams had died and I knew that some thing's couldn't be forgiven. That what I had done to her could never be forgiven.

"Edward?" Jasper's voice broke into my thoughts and I looked up to see him and Alice standing there.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded harshly.

Jasper gave me a warning look that I ignored.

"She'll never forgive me. She'll never let me back into her life or her heart. Why didn't you tell me?"

Alice's eyes were filled with sadness and compassion. "You needed to see, Edward. You needed to know what your decision has done so you can know how to fix your mistakes."

"You should have told me," I growled.

"Don't you growl at me, Edward," she snapped. "Bella is just as furious with me, feels just as betrayed by me as she does with you and none of this was my doing. It was yours and now you have to be a man and do what you should have done in the first place."

"And what's that?" I demanded.

Jasper smiled grimly. "What every woman want's. Every woman, no matter age or species want's the same thing."

"Get to the point," I demanded impatiently. They were both blocking me so I couldn't just read their mind.

Alice was the one who answered.

"A man who will fight for her. She wants a man that won't walk away. So tell me, Edward, after everything you've fought for in your life. Will you fight for the woman you love?"

**BPOV**

I skipped down the stairs happily the next morning; _Stay Stay Stay_ blaring in my ears.

After a good night's sleep I was full of energy and ready to start the day. I knew that the reason for my restful night was probably self-preservation while the other half thought that maybe it was just a very vivid dream.

I was going to go with door number two.

Last night was just a dream. A very horrible dream that I would not dwell on it and I would do what I intended to do and have a great day.

"Bye daddy!" I pecked him on the cheek before rushing out the door. Even over the music I could hear his laughter follow after me.

I decided that today was a great day for walking to school. I needed air and space and time to day dream.

I was currently reading _Acheron_, one of my favorite books and though it broke my heart to read of his struggles I had finally gotten to the part where he would meet the future love of his life and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of her threatening to run him down with her car.

Eventually, I reached the school parking lot and though my legs were burning and I felt hot and sweaty, I was surprisingly upbeat.

Survival instincts, my annoying inner voice whispered. I decided to ignore her.

"Jessica!" I called out in a singsong voice as I saw her and Angela making her way to me. They both looked way too serious when they reached me.

"Bella," Jessica began seriously.

"Jessica," I replied in the same tone.

Strangely neither of them smiled at my teasing; instead they shared a panicked glance and then began tugging me around the school.

They both ignored my demands to know what was happening until we reached the green bushes on the opposite side of the parking lot.

"What is happening?" I huffed as I pushed the irritating twigs away from my face.

"We brought you here because everyone is talking about it and I didn't want the vultures to get the satisfaction of seeing your face when you saw," Jessica began.

"It's big, Bella. Everyone's buzzing over it," Angela added.

"You guys are freaking me out," I told them.

My friends both shared another glance before pointing out of the bushes. Rolling my eyes I followed in the direction they were pointing and nearly choked on my own breath when I saw a familiar silver Volvo parked there.

"Oh, hell no."

**A/N** As always thank you for reading and please leave a review!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your reviews! It's nice to know we're all pretty much on the 'Make Edward grovel' bandwagon. So, here's the next chapter and Bella' reaction to the Cullen's return to Forks high.

**BPOV**

"What the hell are they still doing here?" I growled.

Jessica and Angela shared another look. "Wait. You knew the Cullen's were back?" Jessica demanded.

I huffed as I angrily made my way out the bushes, almost catching my leg on a vindictive branch. "He was waiting for me last night," I answered as I began to pace.

"I didn't see him. How could I have not noticed him?" Jessica demanded, obviously wondering if your drama radar was failing her. Honestly, it was amazing how she seemed to have a sixth sense about when anything huge was happening.

It sucked today that it was me.

Hating that I had to lie, again, to my friends because of Edward, I sighed. "He was hiding out the way. I'm guessing he didn't want you to see him."

Jessica scoffed. "That little bastard."

Angela caught my arm to stop my pacing. "What did he say?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, that he loves me, that he made a huge mistake. That what he did was for my own good because he wanted me to be happy. All the usual bullshit."

"Why didn't you call me?" Jessica demanded.

I shrugged. "It was late and I was tired after dealing with him and just wanted to go to sleep and pretend none of it had happened. Which I had just about convinced myself had happened until you pointed out the pricks car!"

Angela bit her lip. "Is it possible he's telling the truth? That he did do this for you-" She broke off at our bland looks. "Yeah, I'll be shutting up now."

I groaned. "No, you're right. I think in his own little way he thought that by doing what he did, it was for me, but dammit! He just can't come back and expect another chance after what he did. Does he think I'm that desperate?"

"That little bastard," Jessica repeated

"And why is he here? At school? I told him to take a hike, to stay away from me and here the asshole is."

Angela shrugged. "I heard that the Cullen's weren't happy wherever they moved to, so they came home. So that covers why he'd try and get you back and why he's at school. It's not like he can just stay at home."

I wanted to scream that he could. That the son of a bitch could go away, could never come to school again, that he was doing it to annoy me, but I knew they would probably think I was being over dramatic and crazy.

Curse them all for making me lie to my friends. Over the months I had tried to never bring up the Cullen's, partly because it had hurt and partly because I didn't want to lie to my friends. They deserved better.

"He didn't tell me that they were back. I thought he was just around," I shrugged.

Jessica calmly came up to me and punched me in the arm. Hard.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"The next time your ex-boyfriend returns to town to beg you to take him back, you call me. I had to hear about this from Lauren, Bella. Lauren," she repeated angrily.

I couldn't help but smile. She had Lauren seemed to compete in being the biggest gossip. It would have killed her that Lauren had not only known before her, but had also been the one to tell Jessica.

"Sorry," I muttered as I rubbed my arm.

"So, what are you going to do?" Angela asked.

I squared my shoulders. "Well, thanks to Jack most of our classes are filled, so he'll be shoved back to his classes that he was in before."

Edward had used his most persuasive tones to get some favors and make it so we were in pretty much all the same classes. Now that he Jack was here, he had filled up Edward's place. All except Biology.

"Biology," I groaned.

Jessica tried a smile. "Where this rollercoaster romance began."

"No," I argued. "No more romance. I'm going to go in that school with my head high, like I had to when he left. I did it then and I can do it now. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't exist."

"You go girl!" Jessica cheered.

"Let's roll," Angela drawled.

It took my courage than they knew for me to walk out from behind that bush and face all the looks, the whispers, the snickers.

It had been like this when they had left. Some had been compassionate; others smug and I had to develop a thick skin. Ever since that short period of time I had kind of flew under the radar. I was part of a big group and we were always joking around and having fun, but if there were any drama I was never the one to be involved.

Today was going to suck.

* * *

I was right; the day was sucking through a straw. Everyone was talking about the Cullen's and then wondered how I would react. Some had even started taking bets, for crying out loud.

Jessica had put twenty on me keying his car.

Walking between classes I was trying to go as unnoticed as possible, practically hiding behind a group of Jocks so I would remain hidden.

That was when I felt a cold hand yank me into the empty stair way.

Thinking it was Edward, I turned with a scowl only to see Alice there and feel the blood rush from my face.

For the longest time, I had thought of Alice as my best friend. She had been the one to take me to Phoenix and protect me from James. She had been the one to help me shower with a broken leg and dress me up for the prom. Alice had been everything in a friend I ever wanted.

Until the day I realised she had left without a word.

That first week I had called, texted and emailed her. I didn't get one reply.

"I know you're angry with me," her bell like voice began. It was strange to realize how much Id missed it.

"You do, huh?" I demanded sarcastically.

"Yes," she replied calmly. "I know you're angry and your hurt and you feel betrayed. I also know that you're not ready to let any of us in. Especially Edward. I just wanted you to know that we're here whenever you are ready."

I knew she knew what I was about to say. She must have seen a hundred out comes for this situation. That didn't help calm me, though. She already knew the outcome. For some reason the fact that she had come to speak to me, to tell me what I was feeling, pissed me off.

The fact that she knew that it would pissed me off pissed me off even more.

"Well, thank you, Alice. Thank you for vowing to be there for me when I don't need you. When I don't want you."

I turned to leave her there, but I needed to say it even though she already knew.

When I turned she was standing there, patiently waiting for what was coming. She knew, I could see the pain in her large eyes.

"You were my friend. I know he's your brother and your loyalty will always be with him, I do, but you were my friend, Alice. You could have answered a call or texted back, but just like him you disappeared and you, you didn't even say goodbye."

"I still am your friend, Bella."

I laughed humorlessly. "If you're my friend then I'm pretty screwed, wouldn't you say? Just stay away from me, Alice. I don't want any of you in my life. Why can't you respect that?" I demanded before walking away, leaving her standing there alone.

I understood why Alice had stood with her brother, I did, but it didn't stop me from feeling betrayed by her. She was still my friend and while she had given her loyalty to Edward, she did owe some to me.

Biting my lip to keep fresh tears at bay, I made my way to my next class, uncaring of the whispers around me now. I also dreaded Biology.

_You have to get through lunch first_, I thought to myself.

Lunch, I thought, where the Cullen's had first entered my life. Great.

* * *

For the rest of the morning I worried about lunch. It may have seemed stupid, but seeing them in there reminded me of when I had first saw Edward and over the months I had envisioned him sitting in that same table time and time again and thought I would never see it again.

Now, I would walk in to find the Cullen's sitting in that same table, the one that after seven months had never been filled.

"Breathe," Angela muttered as we entered the cafeteria and out of the pouring rain.

"How can I breathe?" I demanded. "Before I had people whispering and pointing as I walked by them, now the whole school is going to be pointing and whispering at once."

Jessica grinned. "Well, you don't think a lot of yourself, do you?"

I flipped her off.

As I looked around, I saw the ones who flicked glances, the ones who whispered and the ones who down right stared and me and pointed.

"All I need now is for me to be in my underwear," I muttered. "Quick, take my mind off my own personal nightmare come to life."

Jessica smiled at she steered me towards the lunch line. "Well, Jack asked me out in English this morning."

I pulled her to an abrupt halt and punched her in the arm like she had with me this morning.

"Ow! What the hell?"

I scowled at her. "When a guy you have been crazy about since the day he came to town asks you out, you freakin' tell me. Not let me drabble on about Edward and the rest of the Cullen's!"

Jessica sighed. "Bella, you have a lot on your mind. I didn't think you'd want to know..."

Realization came to me. "You thought I would be angry, upset or not interested."

She shook her head adamantly. "Not disinterested, I know better. I knew you wouldn't be angry, either."

"You just thought it would hurt me," I whispered.

She nodded slightly. "I knew you would try to hide it."

"Jessica," I began firmly. "No matter what is happening with me, I am so happy for you and Jack. I just hope he knows how lucky he is," I laughed as I wrapped my arm across her shoulder and began walking again.

We planned a shopping spree tonight after work to pick out the cutest outfit for Jessica to wear on her date tomorrow night.

I remembered when I had first arrived in Forks and Jessica had gone out on a date with Mike, how she had tried to talk about her plans, about how excited she was and I had only half listened.

I felt shame fill me for how I once treated her. No wonder she hadn't liked me back then. I hadn't given her much to like.

I was happy, and completely ignoring a certain table, when I bumped into someone. Hard.

"I'm so sorry," I gasped as I twirled around to face whoever had almost knocked me down.

"It's alright," Edward murmured that sweet crooked smile on his face. "You look lovely today, Bella," he added, brushing a hand down my arm as he passed me.

My heart did not race at his touch. My heart _did not_ race at his touch.

"Wow," Angela whispered. "Talk about electricity."

"Shut. Up."

My friends just laughed as they piled pizza and soda onto our tray. I, however, glared at Edward's retreating back and finally looked at the table I had avoided for months.

Edward, Alice and Jasper sat on the table and it was like a shot to the heart. They were back. After months of pain and hurt and anger they were just... back.

Anger filled me like never before as I handed Angela my share for lunch. "I'll be back."

"Where are you going?" Jessica called out.

"I'm going to make sure you win that bet," I replied as I stalked out of the cafeteria and into the pouring rain.

I stormed through the parking lot; my eyes trained on the shiny silver Volvo and dug in my pocket, pulling out my house keys.

Before the key touched his car, a voice called out.

"Keying my car? Since when did you turn into a little felon?" Edwards amused voice said from behind me.

I turned on my heel to see him standing there, the rain darkening his hair and making him look all the more beautiful. I hated that about him.

"What is wrong with you?" I demanded, not playing his bantering game. "After everything you've done, after everything you've put me through, all I asked for you was to leave me alone. Why won't you do that? I'm in a good place, Edward. I was happy."

The amused glint in Edward's amber eyes disappeared. "I won't give up on us again, Bella. I know that's what I did when I left. I didn't fight for you and I refuse to do it again."

I through my head back and laughed. "Edward, you never gave us a chance. You were always planning on leaving me. You always treated me like I didn't know my own mind and needed to be protected from everything."

"You do need protecting from things," he interrupted, his tone one that brooked no argument.

"Because I'm the weak little human that is too young to know anything?"

His jaw clenched. "You know I didn't mean it that way."

"Then just from you?" I demanded. "If I still need protection from you, Edward, why are you here? Why didn't you leave? What is wrong with you? I pleaded with you to stay and you leave, I want you to leave and now you stay."

"I told you," he shrugged. "I won't give up on you. I will never give up on us. Not ever again."

I wanted to smash his windows in, never mind scratch the paint job. "So, this isn't about me. Yet again it's about you. When you left it's because _you_ thought that's what was best for _me_ and now your back because it's what you've decided? There seems to be a pattern," I drawled.

I shook my head impatiently. "Please just go. Leave me with what little peace I have left. What peace I had to make for myself when you left."

"I can't," he replied firmly.

"You know what? Don't speak to me. Don't look at me. Just pretend I don't exist," I smiled remembering that he had promised that by now it would be as if he never had. "You should be good at that; you've been doing it pretty well for the last seven months."

"I love you, Bella. I'm not going anywhere."

"Go to hell, Edward," I snapped back as I stormed off, digging my key into his car as I left. Vandalism was never good, but screw it.

If he didn't care about what I needed or wanted and I couldn't knee him in the balls without needing a caste then I'd damn well key his car.

I didn't go back to the cafeteria; I went and sat on one of the benches under the canopy so I got some rest from the relentless rain.

I felt like I was trapped, like I couldn't breathe. Edward and the Cullen's seemed to decide so much of my life.

I wanted to be converted and be like Edward, but he refused it didn't matter what I wanted to them or to him. I wanted Edward to stay with me, but he decided it was for my own good and his entire family disappeared from my life.

Now, when I was finally at peace and even happy, they had returned to throw my life into chaos and I was meant to just smile and be happy about it. No. I refused to be that girl again, the one who smiled and did whatever anyone wanted to make them happy.

I was confused about everything at the moment, it seemed, but all I knew is that I wanted peace. I wanted room to breathe and I couldn't get it with the Cullen's around me all the time.

I just wanted to be able to breathe again.

* * *

Biology was uncomfortable to say the least.

As I walked up to class, I saw Jack standing talking to a couple of his friends who I had never spoken to before.

I could see why she liked him. He had an easy smile, and easier manner and he seemed to be a truly nice guy who would treat her right.

Where I could get one of those, I thought as I strolled up to him and threw myself into his arms.

Jack wrapped his arms around me and braced himself and probably saving us both from falling on our asses.

"You sexy bastard," I teased as I placed a kiss to his for head.

Jack just laughed while others gawked at the pair of us. "Spoken to Jess, have you?"

"Finally strapped on a pair, have you?" I tossed back.

Angela rolled her eyes as she walked by us. "Knock it off, you two, Jess hasn't had a good cat fight in months and I don't think either of you'd want to mess with her.

Ignoring Angela, Jack dropped me back to my feet and grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I did take the long way around, didn't I?"

"The scenic route," I replied sadly before smiling up at him. "You've made her very happy. It's about time," I laughed as I gave a light tap to his stomach.

As we walked into the class room and my heart stopped. There he was. He sat there in jeans and a black button down shirt. His hair was still wet and it was like stepping back in time.

I had to force myself to sit next to him and not turn to him and just stare. He was here, after all this time, he was here.

"Bella," he greeted quietly, ignoring my demand for there to be no communication.

Needing a distraction, I kept my eyes pinned to Mr. Banner as he walked around the room. Even he couldn't help but gawk at Edward Cullen sitting there like the past seven months hadn't happened.

_Well they did_, my inner voice piped up, _and don't you forget it._

The hour seemed longer than ever and I cursed myself for never switching seats with someone and I refused to look into the reasons why I didn't.

It reminded me of the time, just after Edward had saved me from Tyler's truck, when he had tried to ignore me and we had spent weeks sitting next to each other every day and acting as if the other wasn't there.

We had definitely come full circle. He had ignored me then and I was ignoring him now.

Another thing that had swapped over was that when the bell rang, this time it was me who shot up and all but ran out of the room. I needed to get away from him and the memories that were being shoved in my face.

As I raced down the hallway, for the second time today I was yanked by a cool hand into the stairwell.

"Jasper," I snapped. Annoyed beyond belief, I began to rant, "What is wrong with you people? Why won't you just leave me alone? I have seen and spoken to more Cullen's in the past few hours than I have in the past few months and let me tell you, I don't like it. No, I don't like it one bit."

Jasper stood there with a slightly amused expression in his honey eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to anger you."

I huffed as I crossed my arms across my chest. "Why don't you just say what you have to so I can get the hell out of here?"

Jasper nodded solemnly, the humor draining from his face. "I want to tell you how sorry I am for how I reacted at your party. It was inexcusable and I can never fully tell you how truly sorry I am."

I felt my anger drain and shame take its place. Here he was trying to apologize and I was acting like a brat.

I smiled gently. "Jasper, I have never and will never, blame you for what happened that night. When a human dates a vampire, it was bound to happen sooner or later," I shrugged. "It was never your fault."

He returned my smile. "If I had better control then none of this would have happened."

"No," I argued. "What Edward chose to do had nothing to do with you and it wasn't your fault he decided to bail. Its okay, Jasper," I promised.

He frowned. "Then why are you avoiding us like the plague?"

I laughed. "Not you. Edward and Alice. I know you love Alice and your loyalty is with her, but I can't forgive her for leaving the way she did."

Jasper stood there a moment before nodding his head slowly. "You're in a lot of pain, pain you refuse to even let yourself feel, I think. You also have a lot of anger rolling around inside."

I smiled. This wasn't news. "I know."

"Just remember that when you're ready, we'll be there for you. All of us."

After his not so subtle promise, he just straight out disappeared. "Awesome," I muttered as I left the stairwell.

* * *

Finally! The day was over and I was going home. All I had to do was get there and I could have a pity party before Jessica picked me up for work at six.

Walking across the parking lot with Blake Shelton's _Sure Be Cool If You Did_, I didn't notice the person walking beside me until I spotted the people staring at me with fresh curiosity.

"Jesus Christ," I gasped as I turned to see Edward walking beside me. "This is getting into stalking territory," I snapped.

Edward smiled down at me. "Is it stalking when you're in love?"

I rolled my eyes. "That's classic stalking motive."

He laughed and dammit, I felt a pang in my chest at the sound. Edward had always laughed so rarely that it felt better than winning the Lottery when he did.

"Yes, but in this case love is on both sides, not just the psychotic stalkers. Deny it if you'd like, I will never believe you," he bit out when I opened my mouth. Why the edges to his voice, the bite to it, though? I wondered, but was too proud to ask. Edward didn't have rights to my thoughts anymore and I didn't have right's to his.

"Why are you here?" I demanded instead.

His smile returned in full bloom. "Well, I happened to notice that you were walking home and didn't have an umbrella. I'd be happy to give you a ride."

"I'd rather ride with that guy from _The __Hitchhiker_."

"Bella, it's raining and cold. Just get in the car and I'll give you a ride home. I don't like you walking to school, anyway, it's dangerous."

"Stop," I ordered. "How I get to school is no longer your concern and besides the only thing dangerous is those woods now is you. Why don't you leave town and make Forks nice and safe, huh?"

His cold stare told me his thoughts on that.

"Bella!"

We both turned to see Jessica and Angela pull up with the window down.

"Get your ass in the car. I'll drop you and Angela off, and then pick you up before work."

I smiled, loving her more than ever. To be honest I should have known she wouldn't let me walk home, especially in the rain. As much as she knew I liked to walk sometimes, she rarely let me walk home from school, always knowing when I truly needed to be alone.

It was usually days like today, wet and cold and my memories of Edward was a little too close to the surface.

Normally, I would have insisted, but today I was grateful.

Turning back to Edward I smiled. "I guess you don't have to worry about me anymore."

He looked down at me. "That's never going to happen. If you want me to come by tonight just leave your window open."

With that he turned and walked away and I vowed that window would never be open to him again.

**CPOV**

"Bella?" I called out as I returned home from a shitty day at work. For a small town Forks still had its share of crime that had to be dealt with. It also had petty bullshit that got shoved on me.

Of course I had heard of the Cullen's returning and my blood had boiled at the thought of the boy who broke my daughters heart was back in town and could potentially shatter her in two again.

Over my dead body would I let that happen?

I wasn't stupid, as happy as Bella pretended to be and as happy as even she thought she was now, I knew there were places inside her where she was still raw. Places she hadn't healed.

I expected a lot when I came home tonight. I expected tears, anger, hell I even expected Cullen to be here on some level.

What I didn't expect was to hear loud banging and Eric Church's _Springsteen _blasting through the house.

I had to say, I much preferred Bella's choice in music. Nothing beat a good bit of country.

"What are you doing?" I demanded over the music.

Bella stood there in jeans and a t-shirt, her long hair tied back, hammering nails into the window frames.

"Hi daddy!" She greeted me with a bright smile.

Daddy. A word she hadn't spoken since she was a baby and a word I had never expected, or deserved to hear again.

"What are you doing?" I repeated as I pressed pause on her music.

"Well, daddy, you can't just presume that just because you're a cop then our home is safe from criminal's intending on sneaking in our house. And potentially taking sentimental birthday presents," she growled as she banged in another nail.

I groaned when I saw her fingers were bruised and bloody.

"Jesus, Bella, your bleeding."

She glanced down at her hands and blinked. "Look at that, I hadn't even noticed. Well, it's a little price to pay for the safety of our home."

"And what if there's a fire? That's a safety hazard," I pointed out.

Bella gave me a patient smile. "Well, dad, I'm not planning on burning the house down, are you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Smartass," I muttered. "Just clean up your hands, will you?"

"Yeah," she nodded absently as she lined up another nail and then beat on it like it was her enemy.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked carefully.

"A-Okay. I just need to do this and then go to work and everything will be fine."

I nodded, knowing that she wasn't ready to talk. She would, I knew, but not just yet.

As I closed the door, the music and the hammering began and I wanted to kill Cullen all over again for hurting my baby girl.

**A/N** So, what do we think? Let me know your thoughts!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N** Hi guys! I have got to say I had thought my Bella would annoy some. That I would get review's saying 'Oh, she should just forgive him. She's such a bitch to him.' And while I value and respect every one of my reader's opinions I am so glad that so far everyone is with Bella. It means that you guys are strong and smart and know that just because the dude's back doesn't mean everything's okay.

Sorry for the late update but my new book and getting hammered on a hen night must come first!

You are all beautiful people, who have a thirst for vengeance just like me, and I love you all!

**BPOV**

I truly loved my job... most days.

_Emma's _was a small, but popular, diner or restaurant as Jessica insisted on, in Port Angeles that prided itself on its double bacon cheeseburgers and strawberry milkshakes that I was sure she had to put some sort of addictive drug in.

Emma herself was a lovely woman in her sixties that had soft grey eyes and white hair that she tied back into a loose bun.

Due to bad health, Emma had stepped back from the diner and now only came in every now and then to make herself a burger and grill the co-workers about the new management. The new management being her son in law Max. I didn't have the heart to tell her that he was a jackass and had no idea what he was doing half the time.

Max wasn't a bad guy... most of the time. At six foot two with dark hair and average looks he was a man who teased and joked around with the boys, but not so much the girls. The girls he made inappropriate jokes to and either was too in their face or ignored them completely.

I happened to like the days when he ignored me.

Simon, however, was the assistant manager and worked harder than Max only he had less pay and let respect from management.

I loved Simon. He had at one time been a waiter who would come in still drunk from the night before and was just really laid back and easy to talk to. Recently, he had matured a lot and taken on a lot more responsibility at work.

This from the man who once bragged that he'd made it through a six hour shift without clearing a single table.

He was just above average height with short dark hair and warm brown eyes. He had a thing for beer and taking pictures of his food and putting them on Instagram.

His brother Tom also worked here and I often teased him that when he finally broke up with his girlfriend I would marry him and bear him eight children.

Tonight at Emma's was busier than usual, but I didn't mind. It would help take my mind off more current events. It also helped pass the time until Jessica and I would meet up with Angela and do a little late night shopping.

"Bella, you are not going to believe this," Jessica said from behind me.

I had been talking to Lucky, a wonderful and talented girl who despite her family's strong beliefs was getting her degree in drama and yearned for a future on stage.

She was funny and sweet and was working towards her black belt. I hated her father who often made it so uncomfortable for her being at home that she hung out in the diner even after her shift had finished.

"I have to get back to the kitchen," Lucky said, obviously guessing that Jessica wanted to talk to me in private.

I turned to Jessica with a teasing smile. "What am I not going to believe?"

She bit her lip and fidgeted with her black t-shirt that bore the diners logo across the chest. "The Cullen's are here."

I felt my jaw drop.

"You have got to be shitting me."

* * *

There they were, Edward, Alice and Jasper sitting at a corner booth in my section perusing the menus like they actually had any intention of eating what they found there.

What were they doing here? Hadn't I told Edward to stay the hell away from me? How did they even know I worked here?

I rolled my eyes at my own stupid questions. Of course Alice had seen where I would be tonight and even if she hadn't Edward could have read Jessica or Angela's thoughts.

"This is all I need," I muttered as Jessica and I peered through the kitchen door. "What girl wants her ex to see her in waitress' uniform and about to see her wait on him? God, I want to kill him and I swear to Hades that I will find a way," I vowed.

Jessica gave me a long look. "You're starting to freak me out, Bella."

I rolled my eyes and continued to glare at the booth where my enemy sat.

Jay and Kishan, two guys who I considered my friends, leaned around the kitchen doors, staring at the booth.

"So, this is the dude that dumped you?" Jay with a raised eyebrow as if he couldn't see the appeal.

I wanted to smile. Even the most heterosexual guy on the planet had to admit that Edward Cullen was the most gorgeous thing on the planet but Jay, loyal as always, acted as if he were an Orc.

"The little chick is hot," Kishan drawled earning himself not only a glare from me, but Jessica and Jay as well. "What? She is," he defended himself.

"Yeah, and she's also in my section," I growled as I stormed out the door and through the busy diner.

Not one of the Cullen's jumped when I slammed the menu's down onto their table, but the people in the booths around them did.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped without any greeting.

Edward dressed in a dark shirt and grey slacks smiled at me softly. "Hello, Bella, we thought we'd enjoy an evening out in Port Angeles."

I actually growled at him. "Do you think this is cute? Really? Do you think that by showing a blatant disregard for my wishes, I'll take you back?"

Edward sighed as he leaned towards me. I remember when he had once done that, how my heart had raced at chance at being closer to him. Now I just wanted to throttle him.

"Bella, I know I don't deserve you back. Not yet, anyway. But I will get you back. There is nothing and no one that will stop me. Not even you," he tried to tease.

I snatched the menus back from the table. "That doesn't sound rapey at all, does it?" I snarled as I stormed away.

I will find a way to kill him. I don't care how long it takes, or what I have to do, but I would kill him.

The bastard was just so sure of me giving in, of forgiving him and acting as if the last seven months just hadn't happened.

"Bella, Simon want's you in the office," Petra, our chef, called out as she strode past me.

"Awesome," I hissed as I made my way into the small space that Max and Simon shared.

"Can I help you, handsome," I drawled from the doorway, trying to shake off my bad mood. Simon and I had always had a flirtatious relationship, but strangely enough it was because neither of us was interested in the other.

"How much do you love me?"

I shook my head. "You know, when you say that it doesn't fill my heart with sunshine and rainbows?"

Simon gave me a tired smile and I cursed Max under my breath. The man was lazy and put way too much on Simon's shoulders and then bitched about his job whenever he was actually here.

"How many hours have you put in today?" I demanded. It seemed that I asked him that question a lot lately.

Simon ran his hand through his hair giving him an unhinged look. The pale skin and dark circles under his eyes didn't help either.

"I was here until after midnight last night and I got here about noon."

"And your last day off?" I asked sharply.

Simon laughed quietly. "I don't even remember."

Knowing that I couldn't complain about anything when he worked tirelessly every day and was stressed to his limit.

Pulling out Max's chair, I dropped into it and faced Simon. "What do you need?"

"I need you to float."

I couldn't help the groan. Floating was what we called it when you worked not only tables, but dish and kitchen and even on the cash desk. It was tiring work and you always ended up exhausted, irritated and covered in sweat.

"Not tonight, Simon. I can't tonight." It would be bad enough to be waiting on him, never mind being dirty, sweaty and rushed off my feet.

Luckily enough my uniform consisted of a black t-shirt that had the diner's logo across the chest and a small black apron that covered my waist. It could be considered cute... I guessed.

"Please," Simon all but begged unleashing the full powers of him brown puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," I snapped back. "I will, but I hope you realize what I'm sacrificing for you."

"I do," he grinned as he leaned over a pinched my cheek.

Laughing I batted his hand away and then looked at him. "You can do me a favor, actually."

* * *

As I cleared away an empty table and prepared it for the young couple waiting, I couldn't help but smile as I saw Jessica make her way to the corner booth.

"Hi, I'm Jessica and I'll be your waitress this evening. Can I start you off with some drinks? Awesome," she continued before they could speak. "Would you like your drinks with a side of arsenic, rat poison or is saliva good enough for you?"

You had to love the girl, I thought before hauling ass around the diner.

**EPOV**

You had to love her, I thought as I watched Bella make her way through the diner. Again I was shocked to see how much she had changed.

Bella was rushed off her feet, helping out here and there, but whenever a customer stopped her she flashed them a bright smile and chatted with them like they were lifelong friends. Whenever one of her co-workers passed they shared a small joke that had Bella laughing.

As I watched her flow through the crowded tables I had to admit that though I regretted my decision to leave her more than anything, I couldn't help but be grateful to how it had obviously changed Bella's confidence in herself.

Before Bella had thought less of herself, she had always made it obvious and though I had tried to show her how beautiful and special she was I knew she had never believed me.

It was nice to see that Bella had found herself. I only wish I could have been here to see it.

As Bella swerved around a table, trays in hand, with grace she paused to chat with a young Asian man, who laughed and bumped his hips to hers.

"Bella's going shopping and then she'll go home to Charlie," Alice spoke casually beside me.

I felt relief course through me. Though Bella obviously wanted nothing to do with me, and I knew I had no right, Bella's safety was still something that concerned me. I had driven myself crazy of the past months worrying over her, wanting nothing more than to just return to her if only to make sure she were safe.

"You do realize that your presence is only harming your cause?" Jasper drawled.

I hissed at him. "What else would you have me do, Jasper? I can't leave her, not again. I can't be with her, she won't let me. I don't blame her; she has every right to cut me out of her life. I simply can't stay away from her."

"Also, Bella needs to know that he's not going to leave this time. She doesn't trust he will stay. It was always one of her fears that her would leave," she admitted quietly.

I knew that if my heart still beat the pain of that admission would have broken it. I had truly destroyed our happiness and in everyone's opinion, I had done it for no reason.

None of them understood, though, that Bella's safety had always come first. Must always come first. I knew I could somehow survive in the world if I knew she were alive and happy.

The Alice had come and shown me that footage of her and... I couldn't stay away any longer. Even the dead couldn't live without their hearts it seemed.

"How long are we staying? It's bad enough to be surrounded by humans, but the food they love so much," Jasper frowned in disgust as he pushed his found around on his plate. I had been a long time since we'd had to be around human food. "And then there's the lovely fact that once we leave we'll have to choke all this back up."

Alice smiled as she brushed a hand lovingly across Jaspers arm. "Poor baby," she teased.

I felt envy hit me hard and fast. I would give anything for Bella's soft touch. It had always astounded me that despite what I was, she touched me, held me... kissed me.

"I'm sorry," Alice and Jasper apologized in unison.

I shook my head. I deserved this.

"So, I repeat, how long are we going to stay?"

**BPOV**

"Bella, you've got to get them to leave," Jay hissed as he all but slammed the last chair upside down on the freshly disinfected table.

"Why me?" I demanded from my seat on the empty counter top.

Jessica scoffed from beside me. "Because I've been over three times to remind them that we're closing and they just nod and then give me a look to tell me that they'll leave in their own good time. The last time I wanted to stab them with a fork," she gritted out.

_It wouldn't do much help_, I thought wryly.

"I still don't see why I have to do it," I grumbled.

Kishan grinned as he cleaned out the coffee machine. "He's not going anywhere until you talk to him, Bella. That was pretty much obvious since he walked in the door."

"Whose side are you on?" I snapped indignantly.

"We're on the side where we get to close up on time," Jessica answered smartly. "Come on, Bella," she begged. "We have to get out of here on time so we can go shopping for my date with Jack."

"Fine," I groaned as I jumped down to my feet.

Storming through the diner, I couldn't help the sassy sway of my hips. Over the months I'd learned that if you want to be confident then you fake it until you make it. It's what had gotten me through a lot of encounters over the months. I only wished I'd learned it earlier on in life.

Like the day before I'd met Edward Cullen and I could have told him to kiss my ass when he first glared at me in Biology.

Coming to an abrupt halt in front of their table, I shoved my hands on my hips and glared down at the table of vampires. It would have been funny if it weren't happening to me.

"You have five minutes to leave or I start screaming 'Vampire'," I threatened. Yes, I knew no one would believe me, but I had developed a flare for the dramatics.

I saw Alice's slight smile and I suddenly missed the days when I could have shared in her laughter. The Cullen's had always seemed so serious where it concerned their vampirism; it had only been Alice and Emmett who seemed happy with their lives.

For someone who had wanted to become one of them, you kind of wanted to know that happiness was possible.

"Bella, you know why we're here," Edward spoke calmly, as if he didn't know that I was just as tempted to stab him with a fork. If I thought they would do any damage it would have been wedged into his thigh.

Alice must have seen what I had in mind with the silver cutlery because she laughed. Jasper smiled, Alice's emotions affecting him.

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Your tendency for violence has grown."

"You haven't seen anything yet," I replied darkly. I shook my head. I couldn't afford to chat with them because then I remembered the old times and I found myself stupidly missing them.

I couldn't miss them.

"You need to leave. We're closing and unlike you guys, we're getting old just waiting for you."

"Bella, we need to talk," Edward began.

I dropped my head back and stood there for a second, clenching my fists until I worried my nails would break into the skin.

With a deep breath I faced them again. "No, Edward, I am at work. And I'm sick of this. I'm sick of telling you I don't want to talk to you. It's annoying now and repetitive. Please leave, or I will call the cops. Small towns, you know?" I shrugged.

"Yes, I remember a lot about the safety of this town. Should three young women really be shopping this late at night?"

Oh hell no.

"Look, only one man can worry about my safety from here on out. And my Carpathian would hunt your ass."

Without another word I turned around and walked away. I could tell my Jessica's excited clap that they had finally left.

* * *

"Jessica, what's taking so long?" I yelled as I lightly punched the dressing rooms thick wooden door.

"Perfection takes time, Bella," Jessica sang back.

"And killing you would take seconds," I shot back.

After closing the diner, we had swung by to pick up Angela (and inform her of the Cullen's drop in) and had spent the past thirty minutes gathering outfits for Jessica to try on. Since you could only take five items at a time, Angela and I now stood outside the door with arms full of blouses, dresses, jackets and I was pretty sure that the circulation had stopped in both my arms.

"I wouldn't even take seconds," Angela snapped as she struggled with her burden.

Sounds of a struggle sounded in the dressing room causing both Angela and I to frown.

"Are you okay in there?" Angela asked.

I heard Jessica huff impatiently. "I need help," she admitted reluctantly.

"Okay," we answered.

I heard the echo of her door unlocking and tossing the pile of clothes onto the floor, I slowly made my way to her dressing room door only to burst out laughing at what I saw there.

Jessica stood with her arms in the air and a white blouse caught around her face and shoulders. Her black bra was the only thing that covered her and I think she was incredibly grateful that she hadn't worn one of her lace ones today.

"I'm stuck."

"Oh my god," Angela gasped. "This is definitely one for Facebook."

"Definitely," I agreed as I pulled out my phone and started taking snaps of her.

Jessica struggled even more ad began jumping up and down. "I swear to God if any of these end up on the internet, I am going to kill you bitches."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I laughed as I helped her struggle out of the blouse. "This is way too tight; if you want this then you'll need the next size up."

Jessica all but screeched like a Banshee in my ear. "No way! I have not put on weight. I work out five days a week, I eat... better," she finished lamely.

Angela scoffed from the doorway. "You scarfed down a double cheeseburger in the parking lot like you hadn't eaten in a month."

"Oh, shut up," she snapped.

"Maybe you should try walking with me some days," I suggested knowing what she would say.

"Over my dead body. I exercise dammit," she yelled as we finally managed to yank off the blouse.

And heard the sound of the stitching tare.

"Shit," Angela whispered.

Jessica hissed at her. "As long as they didn't hear it, then neither did we."

"Then can you pick an outfit so we can get out of here. If not we'll grab a circus tent on the way home and you can toss that on," Angela teased.

"Bitch," Jessica growled.

* * *

What seemed like hours later, Jessica finally dropped me off at home. It had taken five different stores, thirty different outfit changes before Jessica had finally decided on a pink camisole blouse that in her own words made her 'boobs look fantastic' and black skinny jeans and a killer pair of black heels that made her ass look fantastic. In my own words.

On the plus side, while shopping for Jessica I had found a beautiful aubergine nightgown that was a beautiful mix of classic and gothic. I had savagely looked for my size and then all but squealed once I'd found it.

Jessica was really rubbing off on me.

Waving goodbye to the girls, I entered the house and jumped out of my skin when I saw my dad waiting for me.

"What are you going up?" I demanded, knowing he had an early start the next day. "I texted you to say I was going to be late."

My dad ran his fingers through his hair tiredly as he patted the couch in invitation. "I was waiting for you."

Dropping down next to him, I sighed in relief. My feet ached so badly.

"Jessica is a tyrant. So, dad, tell me why you're up this late when you probably have to up at dawn."

"I want to talk about Cullen."

I groaned. "Come on, dad, I have had enough of that guy for today."

My dad smiled, his eyes sparkling despite the exhaustion I saw there. "I know and I know that despite what you saw that his coming back has got to cut you."

Smiling, I shuffled so I saw in his lap, his arms automatically coming around me. I felt warm inside when he wrapped his arms around me, safe. I had never thought I had wanted this kind of relationship with my dad and I knew now how stupid I was.

"Say what you have to, dad."

He smiled. "Can't get much past you, huh? Look, Bells, I know I wasn't there for you when you were growing up and there's nothing I wouldn't give to change that."

"Dad," I protested.

"No, let me finish. Then when you came to Forks it was like we were strangers and I didn't know how to talk to you, what to say even when I did. When you met Cullen, you seemed even more distant and I knew I didn't have the right to demand more from you."

"Dad, none of that matters anymore."

"Yes, it does," he argued fiercely. "I'm your father, Bella. It is my duty and privilege to be there for you and I failed you."

"Okay, that's it; I won't have you saying that you failed me. A lot of things happened when I was growing up and yes, I wished you were around more, but that wasn't just your call. I could have made more of an effort and so could mom. Do not place this on you, dad, because I swear I will go to bed right now and I won't let you finish what your trying to say."

He chuckled under his breath. "I am just trying to say that I like where we are now and I don't want Cullen's return to change that. We never really spoke about him," he shrugged. "I know how much it hurt you when he left and I wanted so much to take that pain away, but I couldn't."

"Dad stop," I ordered softly. "You did. You being here and being patient with me and kind and knowing that I could come to you. It made all the difference. If you want to know about Edward, just ask. The only reason I never really spoke to you about him was because you seemed to hate him." _And I was never really sure of our relationship and what I should and shouldn't tell you_, I added silently.

"I'm your dad," he shrugged. "I'm going to hate any boy you bring home, but I don't want that to stop us from talking, Bells. I feel like I finally got you back and I don't want to lose that."

I felt my eyes sting with tears. I didn't want to lose that, either.

"So, what do you want to know?"

He smiled. "Start from the beginning."

Flinching inside at the fact that I would have to give him lies and half-truths, I told my dad as much as possible without giving away any of Edwards secrets.

I told him that Edward was leaving and decided that a long distant relationship wasn't something he wanted and then lied even more by saying that Edward had lied about that and had lied to me so I would move on and be happy.

It was confusing even to me.

After promising my dad that I would be honest with him (as much as possible I added silently) and keep him on the update where Edward was concerned, I shoved him up the stairs before getting changed into my new night gown and made my way back down stairs for a midnight snack.

It shouldn't have shocked me to see Edward's dark figure in the backyard, but it did.

Angrily, I yanked the door open and stormed out to confront him and grimaced when I stepped onto the wet gracing with bare feet. That was a good move.

"I know I sound like a broken record, but what the hell are you doing here?" I hissed, keeping in mind that my dad was upstairs in bed.

"Nails in the window frame? Nice," he smiled.

"I'm not getting into this with you, Edward. I have asked and ordered you repeatedly to leave me alone, to leave town and you won't and it's late and I'm tired. So tell me what you want so I can go inside."

Edward dragged his hands through his hair before he looked at me with his heart in his eyes. "I miss you, Bella. I miss you so much."

"Don't," I snapped at him. "Don't you stand there and whisper you love me when you left me," I gritted out. "You left, Edward, and now because you've changed your mind, your back. I can't keep up with you and I don't want to. I just want you to leave me alone."

"For how long?" he whispered.

I stood there and looked into his pained eyes and answered honestly. "I don't know. I loved you, Edward. I really loved you, but more than that you were my friend and you left and I don't know if I can ever forgive you. Or trust you."

He growled helplessly. "So, what do you want me to do? Leave? I can't do that, Bella. Not again. I won't."

I shrugged. "That's really not my problem. If you can't leave, or refuse to, at least so me the curtsey of leaving me the hell alone. Don't talk to me, don't look at me. It should be easy for you, Edward; you ignored me for six week after you saved my life. That should have told me something, huh?" I laughed.

"Bella," he began.

"Goodbye, Edward," I interrupted him as I turned away.

"I'm not giving up on us, Bella. I won't."

**A/N** I don't know about you but even I feel wrung out by these two. Part of me wants them to get back together and let the good times roll, but then I remember that I started this story with it in mind to make Eddie work to get her back or at least wait for it.

Any ideas of how Edward can win back out girl? Leave a review and tell me what you think he should do. Or what would work to win you back if you were Bella.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/****N**** Hi** guys! I did intend to upload this yesterday after the wedding. I had even written most of it the night I uploaded my last chapter. But... well, Kayleigh got a little merry last night and it wouldn't have consisted of anything readable. In face ancient hieroglyphics would be easier to read.

I walked along the streets, drunk and with food in hand telling my sister and brother in law that I may write it drunk but it would probably read 'Edward and Bella walked down the street... and they liked it. And there's my chapter bitches!'

Not exactly in tune with the story wouldn't you agree?

Anyway, I love all your reviews and am so glad that you love the story as much as I am.

**BPOV**

It has been six weeks since I had turned my back on Edward and it had been six weeks since we had spoken a word to each other.

The next day I had driven to school, cranking up the Dixie Chicks and dreaded the sight of Edwards silver Volvo in the parking lot.

It was there, but with no Cullen's in sight.

At lunch I had sat at my normal table, watching as Jessica and Jack made eyes at each other and flirted outrageously. I chatted with Angela and Ben and couldn't help but laugh at the looks Mike threw Jessica and Jack every now and then. It was good that he realised that he'd thrown away a good person and now she had moved on to someone better than him.

Of course, if Jack hurt her in any way we would skin him alive.

I didn't let myself look in the direction of the Cullen's table. I felt so confused and torn at the moment and I honestly didn't know what I felt or thought and I just needed time.

In Biology Edward sat in his usual seat, ripping my heart in two at the sight of him sitting there. I still expected the past couple of days to be nothing but a dream and he would disappear once again.

To my surprise Edward didn't even glance in my direction when I took my seat. It reminded me of the time when I had first arrived and Edward had saved me from Tyler's van and he'd ignored me... for my own good, I thought with a hiss.

It was safe to say the invisible wall that had been erected between us then was now firmly back in place, only this time by my doing.

I knew it would be me who made the first move between us now, just like it had been Edward all that time ago.

Like then, every day I came into Biology and sat there, aware of him the same as always. Part of me was glad that I still had the ability to feel such electricity while the other half of me resented it.

While I finally felt like I could breathe, I still didn't want to be attracted to him. I didn't want to miss his touch or his laugh or the way he talked. I didn't want to love him.

Like Edward, the other Cullen's acted as if I wasn't there. Alice and Jasper walked past me in the hall and didn't glance in my direction. They didn't speak to me if we happened to be in close contact with each other.

They were finally giving me what I wanted.

It wasn't fair of Edward or the Cullen's to just steam roll back into my life and pick up where we had left off and they finally seemed to realize that.

I had spent the first couple of days in a panic, knowing that I had to come up with a decision, that Edward and the Cullen's were waiting for me to change my mind and then, while pacing back and forth at midnight, I had thought 'screw it'.

The only person who really had no time to waste in the situation was me. The Cullen's were immortal and had eternity in front of them while my clock was ticking, so why was I rushing myself to give them something I didn't know that I could.

So, instead I was enjoying myself. I went to school, I went to work and I hung out with my friends. I listened to Jessica tell me detail for detail about her and Jack and I listened avidly this time.

Most of my free nights were spent with my dad, or if he was at work, I would have a movie marathon either with the girls or by myself.

Once again, I was enjoying being young and without much responsibility.

And, slowly, day by day, it didn't shock me to see Edwards's car in the parking lot. My breath didn't catch when I saw him Biology. I was coming to expect him there, unless it was a rare sunny day of course.

I found that with Edward and the Cullen's backing off I was starting to become me again and focus on others things but Edward and his family and their return to Forks.

My dad had come home that night and spoken to me about an upcoming fishing trip that I knew he wanted to go on, but was worried about leaving his teenage daughter alone and unsupervised.

"Dad, you've left me alone over night before," I reminded him as I filled up my glass with coke.

Since neither or us felt like cooking, we had ordered in pizza and while mine consisted of three different types of cheese my dad liked variety. His had peppers, chicken, sweet corn and chili's. It disgusted me if I were being honest.

"Yeah, but I've never left you for an entire week. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that."

I couldn't help but smile. "You mean you're not comfortable with me throwing a keg party and your room being used as a make out point while you're gone," I corrected him.

He only grinned at me. "That too. Seriously, Bella, a week is a long time to be by yourself."

I reached over to place my hand on his. "Dad, you work all the hours God sends and then you're either at Billy's or here with me. You deserve to go and have a good time. Though how fishing could be considered a good time I will never know," I added to make him laugh, which it did.

"It is. You just never gave it a chance."

I rolled my eyes. We'd had this discussion before. "You stick a fishing line in the water and wait for some poor fish to get caught. That's not fun, it's bullying."

My dad leaned over to ruffle my hair. "It's half and half," he compromised. "But it still doesn't change the fact that I don't want you here alone for a week."

"Dad," I groaned. "I am eighteen years old which means, by law, I can be trusted not to hurt myself when an adults not around. I also spent a good portion of my life looking after mom and myself. I can keep myself alive for a week. Besides," I added before he could interrupt. "You are an hour's drive away, I can reach you if I need you and you know Angela and Jessica will insist on having girly nights."

"Girly nights, huh?"

"Which consists of face packs, toe separators, vast amounts of junk food and every chick flick known to man. Not dragging in bikers from the streets and jacking up."

"Bella," he warned.

His 'dad voice' didn't have the desired effect, I guessed as I laughed at him from across the table.

"Dad, nothing is going to happen. I'm really as boring as I look," I promised with a wry grin.

My dad took his plate over the sink before walking back to drop a kiss on my head. "No one could ever call you boring."

"Aww shucks, thanks dad," I teased him as I pulled out my book. Not everything had changed, sometimes my dad went and watched the games and I would sit in here and read or go and hang out with him and annoy him with questions.

Something's I liked too much to ever want to change.

Before he disappeared, he turned back with a frown. "You sure you don't mind?"

"I'm sure," I promised.

"And if you need anything you'll call Sue?"

"That's why we have her on speed dial," I replied with a cheeky grin.

Ignoring my sass, my dad continued. "And if you need me for anything you will call straight away."

_"I promise. Now go and call Billy and put him out of his misery."_

My dad grinned before he went to do just that. Really he deserved this, he was a single parent and I was a lot more to deal with than I had once been. I talked to him more, for starters, I thought as I opened my book and wondered how I would stop Jessica from throwing the very party my dad was afraid of.

You really didn't want to get caught having a party in the Chief of Police's house.

* * *

Jessica had taken the news just as I had expected and had already begun a list of who to invite before I put a halt to these plans.

"Woah, Jess, calm down. I'm not having a party," I told her firmly.

Jessica gave a pout that would melt many hearts. "Not even a little one."

"Not even a little one," I agreed. "Look, I promised my dad and I'm not about to lie to him or have him call of this fishing trip."

"What is it with males and fishing?" Angela wondered from beside me. "Ben's going fishing with his dad and yours, Bella, and I have to admit I don't see the attraction."

Jessica zeroed in on that. "Ben's out of town?"

Angela frowned and looked up from the word puzzle she was currently attempting to do. Emphasis on attempting. "Yeah, why?"

"What day are they leaving?"

Not liking where this was going, I responded cautiously. "Saturday morning."

Clapping her hands in excitement, Jessica wrenched out her phone and furiously started texting.

"Uh, hello? What are you doing?" I demanded.

Jessica looked up at me absently before she realised that she hadn't clued us in on whatever had gotten her so excited. "My cousin goes to college in Seattle and has been begging me to go out and visit her. How about the three of us head to Seattle for the weekend take in the sights and do some shopping. It will be so much fun!"

"I don't know," Angela and I replied in unison.

"Oh, you two are no fun. Look, we won't be unsupervised; my cousin is a senior so she's more than old enough to be considered adult supervision." Well, when she put it like that...

"There's no way we'll be able to go," I laughed at her. "Whether your cousin is a senior or not my dad won't let me go to Seattle for the weekend without a very old, very mature adult."

"Then lie!" Jessica pointed out as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet.

I frowned. "I don't like lying, especially to my dad."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Okay, I get it; you want an open and honest relationship with your dad. I applaud you. But this is all a part of being a teenager, lying to your parents and going off to the city while they're away for the week."

"That was a dirty trick," I pouted.

Ever since Jessica, Angela and I had become closer I had set out to experience as much as possible, and that included having the stupid teenage moments. In a way, I guessed it was a way to get back at Edward. So he wanted to leave me? Fine. I would experience everything and have a wonderful life.

"I know," Jessica laughed, "but it worked."

"I still have to ask my dad. There's no way I'd be able to go without clearing it with him."

"Why don't we just not tell him?" Jessica suggested.

I gave her a bland stare. "I picked up a different kind of detergent a few weeks back and half the town knew. Can you imagine what will happen when I leave town for a few days? My dad will never trust me again. Besides, if I'm lying about adult supervision then I'm not going to lie about going."

"She's right, Jess. I can ask my parents, but I know they'll definitely want to speak to an adult about me staying with them. How are we going to work around that? "

"That's fine," Jessica smiled. "We can have one of my cousin friends pretend to be her mom and dad or something. That way our parents won't click on and we can have fun. We can find a cheap motel room and spend the weekend there."

"Are we even old enough to rent a room?" I demanded.

Jessica smiled, knowing she had won. "Leave everything to me."

* * *

Convincing my dad to go fishing for a week had been easy, convincing him to let me spend the weekend in the city... that didn't go as easily.

I still wasn't completely comfortable with lying to him, and I knew it was wrong and stupid, but now that Jessica had talked me into it, I really wanted to go.

"Come on, dad, it's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" he roared as he paced back and forth the living room. "You want to spend the weekend in the city and it's not a big deal?"

"I'm not asking to spend the night's hooking? We'll drive out there, take in the tourist attractions, put a dent into our salary and then most likely come home the next day."

"No."

I gritted my teeth. "Dad, I grew up in Phoenix, I think I can manage Seattle with two adults, an older cousin and my best friends who won't leave my side. Bedside's, I've gone there before for books, why can't I go and spend the night with mature, responsible adults?"

I mentally crossed my fingers at that last part.

"That's not the point," he argued.

"Do you not trust me?" I demanded, throwing down the gauntlet. Only a teenager could use this and get away with it.

Yes, I didn't really deserve his trust at the moment. Yes, over the past few months I had gotten drunk and stayed out late and even went to a few parties he wasn't aware of, but I had always been safe, I had never broken any laws or damaged property and Jessica, Angela and I had stuck together.

At one point in my life I had looked down on those who drank and went to parties, but then I had realised that I was missing out on experiences. While the parties I had gone to I hadn't enjoyed as much as they do on television, I had got some good memories from. Like the time Angela sent a photo of her boobs to her second cousin in Texas by accident.

Poor Ben never did get to see that picture and Angela had to convince her family that someone had taken her phone and had been messing around. A preacher's daughter would never take such a picture.

The point was that I wasn't bad for what I had done, in fact I was downright responsible about it, and it had only proven to me that I trusted myself in those situations. That didn't mean I would ever tell my dad, though. I was keeping that tidbit for years down the road when he claimed how he had me under lock and key and I could point out that he didn't know everything.

I had planned a lot for the future. Since my plans had changed so abruptly I had concentrated on making a new one. I had even applied to college, something I had all but refused point blank to do before.

"I do trust you, Bella. I just don't trust anyone else."

I couldn't help but laugh. I'm sure Angela's and Jessica's parents were saying the exact same thing to them at the moment.

"The trust me to make the right decisions and be the person you want me to be."

My dad was silent for a long time before he sighed. "Fine, but I want to speak to their parents and please, please, if by some chance you do something that maybe I don't want to know about, be safe."

I laughed. "Dad, I'm still a virgin."

My dad went beet root read at my candid response. "That's... that's good."

"Oh, dad," I laughed as I placed a kiss on his cheek. "I'm going to go and call Jessica and let her know."

* * *

On the morning my dad left, he had held me tight and made me promise again that I would be safe and call him all the time. I didn't want to point out that his signal wouldn't be all that good. The one time I had he'd snapped that he didn't care what his signal was doing, I was to text him like I do when I'm picking up Chinese food.

I didn't think I was that picky with my Chinese food. I just knew what I wanted.

Just as soon as my dad and his friends pulled away, Jessica pulled up and honked the horn.

"No way am I listening to country all the way," she greeted me.

"Yes, you are," I replied as I flung my suitcase in the boot. "You know the rules, if you drive; I get to pick the tunes. Angela doesn't give a crap either way, so rule stands."

"The only reason you're not driving is because that piece of shit nearly has a stroke going to Port Angeles," Jessica quipped as Angela laughed beside her.

"Bite your tongue," I teased. "My baby is perfect the way she is. Plus, I always have to ride in back."

"I get car sick," Angela defended herself.

"And?" I demanded. "Since I get stuck in the back I should at least get to pick the music."

Jessica groaned. "So, what will it be today?"

Leaning forward, I shoved a CD into her hand. "I made a mixed CD. I have all my favorites on one disk."

"Yay," she drawled.

The ride to Seattle wasn't that bad. I got to listen to my music, Jessica got to gush about how wonderful Jack was and Angela only had to stop once to throw up. All in all, it was pretty good.

We met Jessica's cousin, Cassie, at Seattle University. She was taller than all three of us with short blond hair and bright blue eyes.

Upon our arrival, she had shown us around campus, she knew the three of us had applied and so had decided to give us the grand tour in hopes that should we be accepted we would actually want to come here, she had laughed.

I liked Cassie. She was one of those people that had it all, she was sweet, funny and smart without being arrogant and too nice that you couldn't stand being around her.

After our tour and after we had hit some of the city we had journeyed to the motel that Jessica had book us a room with. We had decided that getting the one room would be a lot cheaper and considering on how much we planned spending in stores, we needed to save a little money somewhere.

Cassie had decided to stay with us for the weekend and hang with us. She told us all about how she had dumped her boyfriend a few days ago for sleeping with one of her best friends so she needed some quality girl time to take her mind off of everything.

As the four of us sat in a diner close to the motel, I asked the question everyone wanted to know.

"So? What's on the agenda for the night?"

**EPOV**

It had been six long weeks.

Six weeks since I had spoken to Bella. Six weeks since I had allowed myself to go to her house and watch over her. Six weeks since her eyes had met mine and I'd been able to get an inkling into what was going on inside her mind.

Of course at school I still followed her in the minds of her friends. All of whom had a hatred for me, which was surprising considering Jessica had once hated Bella for the attention I had shown her. Obviously a lot could change.

I was in hell. Bella was right there, every single day, and yet she might as well been across an ocean for all that matter. I couldn't reach her and I knew I didn't deserve to.

It had been the night when I had gone to Bella's work, when I had come home and been in such pain, when Alice had sat me down and told me that what Bella needed right now was space.

Space? She wanted the one thing I wasn't sure I could give her?

"Edward, don't you understand?" Alice had demanded. "It was your decision to leave and then it was your decision to come back. You are making all the decision in Bella's life and she feels as if she's being pulled in so many different directions and all at your whim."

Whim? I had wanted to demand. How was it a whim?

The second Jasper had attacked Bella, the second I had been the one to cause her harm, the second Id had to stand there and battled the urge to kill the only woman I loved, and I had known I had stayed too long.

How could I keep her alive and safe when I was the one who wanted to kill her? What kind of life was that for anyone?

"The life she chose, Edward," Alice whispered, obviously seeing the questions I was about the throw at her in her mind. "She knew the risk; she understood what she was getting herself into you. You just never fully understood that."

"How could she ever want this?" I demanded, glaring down at disgust at my hands.

Alice smiled and tucked her finger under my chin; tipping my face up to my eyes met hers. "She didn't want immortality, silly, she wanted you. That's all she ever wanted, Edward, and when you left her, when you shattered ever dream and wish she had, she had to build certain walls around herself that excluded you."

My heart broke at her words. "I thought I was doing what's right. I thought that I was being selfish in staying with her."

"And who said that you always know what the right course of action is? I see the future, for Christ's sake and even I was against your decision. That should have told you something right there. And Edward, your selfishness wasn't in being with her; it was in making the decisions for both your futures without her."

"And now I've lost her," I finished.

Alice smiled. "The great thing about the future is, it's not written in stone. There is always time to change what has not yet become. You just need to give her what she needs right now."

"And what is that? If she wants me to beg, I will. If she wants the moon, I'll find a way to give it her. Whatever she want's is hers."

Alice gave me a long look that told me I already knew what she wanted. What she even needed.

Space.

I sighed, knowing this would probably be the end of me. How could I be around her every day and not touch her, talk to her, tell her how sorry I am over and over until she looks at me the way she once did.

"You want the easy way, Edward. You had that once. Relationship wise, anyway," she added with a smile. "At one time Bella would have given you everything she was without a second thought and now, due to your own actions, that's not the case anymore. You have to be patient. You have to show her that you will be there, no matter what, every single day. That you know what you did was a stupid move and you have learned from your mistakes. Give her the time to realize that your here for the long haul and trust in that."

I looked up into her golden eyes. "I can do that."

It had been a lot harder said than done though, I had found out quickly. The amount of times she had slammed her books down on the table and I found myself wanted to ask her what was wrong.

The times she would come in bopping along to whatever country song she listened to at the moment and I wanted nothing more than to smile at her and hold in her my arms.

The times when she had looked like she wanted to speak and yet hadn't and I had wanted to beg for her to speak the words that would tear down the wall between us.

But she hadn't and I hadn't and I had learned that even for an immortal that was over a hundred years old; six weeks could be a very long time.

Alice would help; she would look ahead of Bella's future and let me know she was safe and happy. The one time at the lunch she had turned to me and told me that Bella was having a Lord of the Rings marathon tonight.

I had looked at her with a frown; I hadn't seen that image in my mind.

Alice had smiled at lifted her phone up and said 'Facebook'.

So that is what I was resorted to. Facebook.

It was harder for me tonight, I had to admit. Alice had seen a vision of Bella and her friends traveling to Seattle for the weekend.

How was I supposed to cope now that she was so far away and I couldn't be with her? Bella had wanted space away from me and as much as it hurt I would give it to her. Not be the stalker she had named me.

To give my siblings there due, thy had tried to keep me occupied and away from the temptation to travel to Seattle and possibly get a restraining order put out on me. They had taken me hunting, Alice had battled me in chess even while Jasper had grown annoyed because neither of us moved a single piece as we played the games in our minds and he was the only one who couldn't 'see' what was happening.

Try as they might, though, they couldn't keep me distracted for long. Before I knew it, I was pacing back and forth in my room questions flying through my mind.

Why did Bella like country music? She never had shown any interest in it before even though she'd had a love for it as much as I had. What happened for her to change her dress sense? Before Bella had liked to fade into the background and I had hated it. So why had she changed now?

Nonstop questions that demanded answers flew through my mind over and over. I had never cared for my inability to read Bella's mind but now it just irritated me more than ever. If I couldn't speak to her then I should at least be given this.

The knock on my door made me jump, something that shouldn't be able to happen.

"What?" I growled, knowing who it was on the other side.

Alice walked in without invitation and spoke without hesitation. "Bella's about to do something and I don't think you're going to like it."

**A/N **So, I think it's pretty obvious what's about to happen, but what do you think it is?


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N** Hi my friends! It's really late and I can't remember but I think I updated a chapter earlier today before I started on this one, but I really enjoyed it and I had been looking forward to this chapter for a while. It was something that popped into my head.

Okay, so Bella has gone to Seattle with some friends and is going to do something's that not everyone will think she should do. I also blame a reader for one part of it because she thought maybe Bella would do this and I liked the idea and so wrote the chapter with that added!

Please enjoy since I have stayed up so late finishing it!

**BPOV**

"We're so not getting in," Angela muttered nervously under her breath.

"Oh, don't be so pessimistic," Jessica laughed as she re-applied her lip gloss.

We were outside a night club, dressed to impress. I was truly getting every experience tonight, I thought as I rubbed my shoulders to ward off the chill.

After we went had decided on our plans for the night, we had went shopping for new outfits of course. We had planned for sight-seeing and shopping, not going to a club in the city.

Cassie had that naturally pretty in a brown sack look about her which made me hate her just a little bit, I could admit honestly. She wore skinny jeans and a white blouse and she looked like an angel sent to reward the worthy.

Jessica wore a flirty red dress that clung to her figure and would have made Jack insane with jealousy had he been here to see the appreciative glances from any man who saw her. She'd laughed off any guys who's came on to her and said that if they'd seen her boyfriend they'd understand that she was very happy in her relationship.

Angela had practically thrown herself into a chair in one of the many stores we'd visited. She had found her outfit in the first shop we'd gone to and had decided to go with a strapless dress with a black corset-styled upper and a flared plaid skirt with peek-a-book tulle lining. Ever since she had groaned and moaned and begged for a chair. She finally found one in the store where I found my outfit.

Like Cassie, I had stuck with skinny jeans and the exact blouse that Millie wore on the bachelorette party episode on _One Tree Hill_. I had been in love with the blue split back ruffle trim tank since I had first seen it on the show and had been looking for it ever since. I loved the back especially, some may think it trashy, but I thought it was sexy and cute.

After shopping while we headed back to the motel Cassie had popped out for a while and told us to get ready. So we showered, blow dried and just generally beautified.

_"I love this," I said as I swayed from side to side, enjoying the feel of the ruffled material on my blouse as it tickled the exposed skin on my lower back._

_"And you look sexy enough to eat," Jessica leered at me as she held a pair of curling tongues to her head._

_"Thank you," I sang as I continued to sway._

_Cassie came bursting through the door with heavy looking bags in her hands. "Hi sexy ladies! Are you ready for a night of dancing, burning feet and people shoving up at against you?"_

_Angela laughed as she snapped a before picture of Jessica who glared at her and threatened to shove the camera up her ass if she took one more picture of her before she was ready. "Oh yeah."_

_Cassie dropped the bag on the bed and pulled out two large bottles of what I guessed was cheap wine. "Then let's get this party started!"_

"You'll get in," Cassie promised from in front of us, shaking her hips to the beat of the music coming from inside the club. "I come here the entire time and I always get in." She turned to offer us a wicked grin. "I made out with the bouncer who works tonight and I've gotten in no questions asked ever since."

"Good for you," I laughed as I joined her on her make-shift dance floor in an effort to keep warm. The alcohol had helped warm me up, but it was _cold_ tonight.

"We're so not getting in," Angela repeated. "He'll know we're not old enough."

"And what's he going to do?" Jessica demanded. "Call the cops? There's people getting murdered and shit, this kind of stuff happens all the time, Angela. We're fine."

I started to squirm as I felt an itching sensation in my back, which battled the stinging sensation, but it was starting to get worse the more I thought about it.

Okay, now the stinging and the itching were starting to get worse.

"I think it's infected," I worried as I desperately tried not to touch my bandaged lower back that took some of the sexiness away from my blouse.

"No it's not," Cassie rolled her eyes.

"It is," I insisted. "That place was dirty and filthy and now I'm infected or it's worse! What if it's like than that movie with that dude from _Roswell _in it where everyone dies?"

Jessica laughed. "You got a tattoo, Bella, not a death warrant."

_"I want that one," I said as I showed the tattoo artist the picture I had uploaded onto my phone. _

_"You sure?" Bill asked. _

_Bill was a huge guy, covered in tattoo's piercings and had one of those long beards that made him look like a crazy bush man. He also didn't care about the fact that every single one of us was just a little bit drunk._

_While drinking and making final touches to our hair and makeup somehow the subject of tattoos had come up and Cassie had shown us the Celtic symbol that she's gotten inked onto her lower back._

_I had laughed and said even though I wanted one there no way would I ever be able to get a tattoo, not only did I faint at the smell and sight of blood, but I hated needles._

_Upon hearing this, Cassie had challenged me to face my fears of both and get a tattoo. Something small and easily hidden and something I would have for the rest of my life._

_I honestly didn't know how it got from a challenge to me showing the giant beside me the symbol on the cover on one of my favorite books _Dark Demon_, but here we were._

_"Why that one?" Cassie asked from beside me. She'd gotten on too, a new symbol on her ankle. I'd been made to wait outside just in case Id pass out and then Bill, who seemed an easy going guy would refuse to go near me with a needle. _

_I shrugged as Bill sketched the design reader to trace on the small of my back. "The heroine, Natalya, is strong, sassy and confident. Everything I ever wanted to be."_

_Cassie smiled. "You seem pretty confident to me, Bella."_

_My heart pounded as I lay on the big leather chair that seemed to have claws marks in it. I couldn't believe I was getting a tattoo and on a dare of sorts just to top it all off. My dad was so going to kill me._

_As the needle sounded, I made sure to focus on anything but that and breathe through my mouth. No way was I fainting and having a half-finished tattoo on my back. As the needle pierced my skin, sending a jolt of pain and surprise, I channeled Natalya and stayed perfectly still._

_"You're doing so well," Cassie praised me as she came over to hold my hand. "When I had my first one done I cried throughout the entire thing."_

_"What?" I shrieked. "You didn't tell me that."_

_"Of course I wasn't going to tell you that. And don't you tell those two either," she laughed and tipped her head in the direction of the waiting room where Angela and Jessica looked through a book of thousands of designs looking for one that they liked._

_After I accepted my challenge Jessica and Angela, feeling the effects of the wine had decided that they wanted to get one too. We would all get one and remember an awesome weekend with friends._

_"All done," Bill muttered as he finished up and then proceeded to cover it up to stop infection getting in or something._

_Angela was next and got through it with a few hisses and groans, but eventually she had a set of angel wings in between her shoulder blades._

_"Dude, you took that like a champ," Cassie laughed as she checked out Bills handy worked before it got covered up. _

_Jessica on the other hand... well she was never one to suffer to silence._

_"Oh, my god! You said a bearable pain, you lying bitch," Jessica hissed towards her cousin who sat in the chair laughing at her and sipping at her spiked Coke._

_"Bearable you said. A bearable pain. This is the opposite of bearable! This is..." she trailed off unable to think of the word._

_"Unbearable?" Cassie suggested as she handed me the bottle to take a swig out of. I was very classy tonight._

_"Shut. Up," Jessica growled obviously trying not to flinch against the pain as Bill tattooed a sexy fairy onto her hip bone._

_"I told you not to get it there for your first one," Cassie pointed out._

_"You also said bearable pain," she argued. "Why should I believe you? This is pain. That Grey dude wouldn't even like this much."_

_"Yeah, but we never really heard about Christian being on the whipping and nipple clamps side of thing's, did we?" I asked to no one in particular._

_At the same time Angela said, "I don't think the word bearable has ever been said this many times in a five minute conversation before."_

_Cassie turned to me. "Yeah, but didn't he do that with that older chick? What was her name?"_

_Jessica gave us an incredulous look. "Are you seriously discussing _Fifty Shades of Grey_ right now?"_

_"You brought it up," I pointed out._

_Cassie sighed. "Why don't you just picture that sexy boyfriend of yours and how he'll react when he sees it?"_

_"We've only been going out for over a month, Cass. Not everyone's like you," Jessica smirked._

_Cassie laughed wickedly. "They should be. Just think of his fingers caressing it like a whisper. His lips brushing sweet, sexy kisses over it."_

_"Am I the only one getting turned on over here?" Bill joked as Jessica growled. "If he ever touches it I'll geld the bastard."_

_I sighed into my drink. "Acheron got gelded when he was human. It made me sad. Artemis just didn't understand..." I trailed off sadly._

_"Oh my god!" Jessica snapped. "Would you stop with that dude? Yes, he turns blue and he's sexy. We get it."_

_My eyes widen. "The conversation always has to be about you doesn't it, Jessie?"_

_Jessica snatched the drink out of my hand and took a huge gulp as Bill finished up._

_I pouted. "She took my drink."_

"Okay, this girl says to slap the tattoo if it itches too badly. Is she crazy?" I demanded as I read the sentence on my phone.

"Please let me be there to watch when you do that," Jessica laughed.

"Why would she even know that?" Angela asked with a confused expression on her face.

I shrugged. "I don't know. She says it burns but it's worth it. Then again, I'm assuming that it's a chick. It could be a dude. Is it sexist that I thought it was a chick?" I wondered.

Cassie nodded with a sage expression on her face. "Yes it is."

I thought about that for a second before shrugging and continuing to look through the site.

"We're up, ladies," Cassie said and Angela froze like a deer in the headlights.

The bouncer was a big guy named Eddie, which was just damn funny in my opinion. I didn't pay much attention as Cassie talked our way into the club, as I was too busy with my phone, all I knew is that after a flirtatious laugh for Eddie we were in the club.

Now, I didn't need to be here to know clubs wasn't really much thing. My feet felt like I'd stepped in acid and then someone had wedged glass into my heel so whenever I walked I felt a stabbing pain in the balls of my feet.

Another thing was that I'd spent most of the past seven months listening to non-stop country so I didn't know half the songs that were playing and even without that I had never been a big fan of club music anyway.

Despite all this, and because of the alcohol, I had decided to forget all that and have a grand old time.

The club was maybe a little outdated and not many of the coolest people would be here, but it was packed with bodies all of them singing and dancing and probably half of them would end up going home with the other before the night was out.

"Let's get some drinks!" Cassie called over the music and we followed her to the bar, moving to the music as we went.

After drinks, and shots that burned by throat, we made our way to the dance floor. Guys would come and we'd dance for a few songs and a few times girls from different groups would even join us.

I was having a good time until one of my favorite songs came on. A club mix of Taylor Swift's _I Knew You_ _Were Trouble_ came on and me being me, I started singing and dancing as if my very life depended on it forgetting that I couldn't sing and perhaps_ shouldn't_ dance.

As I threw my arms out and sand along with the chorus, I couldn't help but think maybe this song hit a lot closer to home than I had ever allowed myself to realize before. Then I thought 'forget it' and continued to sing and dance to a truly awesome song.

After the song had ended and another had begun, a group of guys in their early twenties came over and started dancing with the four of us. They were nice and friendly enough and one even broke out the robot so he was okay with me.

It was then, as I tried to dance with a man they called Crazy Hips, that I saw Jessica's eyes widen and she mouthed 'Oh holy shit."

* * *

I didn't have too much time to ponder the reasons why Jessica looked so shocked because within seconds I was yanked around and pretty much tossed over someone shoulder.

It didn't take a rocket scientist for me to figure out who it was.

If it wasn't for the fact that no one could be as gentle about throwing someone over their very hard shoulder, I would have known his scent everywhere.

Why was Edward here?

Over the music, I listened intently to hear what he was saying to my friends.

"I'll be taking Bella home. Now," he added in a growl.

"Now wait a minute, asshole," Cassie snapped, obviously not about to let some guy just take off with me.

"Don't argue with me about this, little girl. She's drunk, she's got a tattoo and she's underage so she shouldn't even be in here. Your also dancing with men whose character is hidden from you. I suggest you leave and head back to your room before you find out. Jessica, Angela, I'll be taking Bella home. Don't worry about her things; she can collect them from you when you return."

"Now wait a damn minute," I growled over the music.

I felt Edwards hand hold me firmly in place. I wanted to roll my eyes. Great, the guy finally grabs my ass and it's the one time I didn't want him to. Typical male.

"Do not test me right now, Bella. I'm holding onto my control by a thread."

Even though I was angry, humiliated and still a little hammered, I could hear the honesty and restraint in his voice and it was enough to get through to me no matter the amount of alcohol I had consumed.

I had forgotten in a way, that he wasn't human and that while I thought nothing of it, Edward was standing in a room full of crowded humans, four of which had fresh wounds. I concentrated as much as I was able and realised he wasn't breathing.

Still wanting to slap him, I called out to my friends, "Don't worry guys; I'll go home with this jackass."

"Are you sure, Bella? We can take him," Angela snarled.

I wanted to laugh at how wrong she was, but I was still worried. Edward was dangerous at the moment and he needed to get out of here.

"No, I'm sure. I'll bitch slap him when he puts me down." I did laugh then at the thoughts of how that would go.

The girls reluctantly let us leave, making me promise to call them when I returned home and Edward was soon rushing passed people to get out of the loud club. I wasn't surprised that no once was I jostled or even touched by another person.

I guess in furious and surrounded by temptation Edward would see to it that I wasn't harmed.

Outside, on the cold and rainy feet, Edward finally placed me carefully on my feet. I whacked him on the head with my black clutch bag. I knew it would do anything but...

"Did that make you feel better?" he demanded between clenched teeth.

"Yes," I snapped. "What are you doing here?" I demanded angrily. "Alice," I answered my own question feeling the sting of her betrayal once again. "She ratted me out to her brother? To my ex?" I demanded, more to myself and the universe than the man standing in front of me.

"She did not rat you out," he snapped.

"She did from where I'm standing."

Edward looked down at me with dark, hungry eyes. They were also angry and disappointed. Well screw him.

"It's a good job I did. What do you think you're doing, Bella? I can smell the alcohol in your blood. This isn't you," he shook his headed sadly. "And the tattoo? What the hell were you thinking?"

The disappointment was one thing, but for him to stand there and judge me... No way.

"Get over it, Edward. So I had something to drink and got a tattoo? I'm not killing people. I haven't sold baby hearts on eBay!"

"Bella, I have had a long journey where I have probably broken every speed limit that has ever been made. I was just surrounded by humans in a room with flesh blood, not only from three different women, but from you. I am not in the mood for you to twist my words."

"Oh, you're not in the mood?" I asked. "Who gives a damn? You came here, Edward. You followed me to Seattle and then dragged my ass out of a club and decreed you were taking me home. Don't stand there complaining when you put yourself in the situation!" I yelled, uncaring that I was drunk and in the rain and on a crowded street.

"I just saved you from a group of men who had every intention of bedding you tonight. Or one of your friends, they didn't really care which one they ended up with."

I blinked up at him. "So, they intended to 'bed' me. I had no intention of having sex with any of them and if they are and you're so worried for our safety why did you let the girls stay?" I demanded angrily as I went to turn to go back inside.

Before I could move a cold hand was on my arm stopping me. I turned back to see Edward with a clenched jaw and bright eyes.

"Edward," I said, knowing he would never hurt me, but also knowing it wasn't a good idea.

He pulled his way to glare down at me. "I am in control."

"I know that," I snapped back at him. "Talk about twisting words. Go stand over there before you run out of breath and don't get to yell at me about something that has nothing to do with you."

To my surprise he did, which told me how much of a struggle he was in with himself right now.

"Jessica and the girls are fine. They have moved away from the men and it's not their mind to follow them."

I waited for him to continue but he didn't. "So, why did you drag me out?"

He closed his eyes as if he were trying to hold onto his patience. "I escorted you out because that is no place for you. You shouldn't be in there, drinking, scarring your body for the rest of your life while you're not in your right mind."

I scoffed. "Half of people's tattoos are done when they're drunk. It's a human thing. That should make you happy, Edward, I'm finally doing things humans should do. It's what you always droned on about," I waved my arm dramatically and nearly sent myself toppling to the ground before I regained my balance.

"Bella, get in the car before you break you neck."

"I'm not going to break my neck! I'm not going to fall and hurt myself. You don't have to come out here to protect the pathetic and fragile human. I've been looking out for myself for quite some time and I'm still breathing."

"And your talking your way into clubs and getting tattooed," he pointed out angrily.

I threw my arms out in exasperation. "So what? So what if I went in there grabbed that guy and did bed him. Which, by the way is a gross term," I added pointing at him. "That wouldn't make me a bad person, Edward. Lying to my dad and going to a club and getting a drunken tattoo does not make me a bad person, it just makes me a freakin' person," I ranted at him.

"Well, I miss the old one."

I laughed. "She's gone, baby and she ain't ever coming back," I drawled. "I like country music and I dance like a dumbass most of the time. I like shopping and reading and I stay up until three in the morning some night's watching funny cat videos on YouTube," I shrugged. "And I laugh at them, Edward. They are so freakin' funny," I giggled, momentarily distracted from our confrontation with the mental image of a cat trying to jump over a stair gate and failing.

Edward growled. "I can't talk to you when you're like this."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay Mr. Grumpy Gills," I chuckled.

"Bella," he snapped, obviously trying to get my attention while I was in the middle of a giggling fit.

I strolled up to. "You know what? You're stupid. Your hair's stupid and your car's stupid and your ever changing eyes are freakin' stupid."

"You done?" he demanded.

"No. Everything about you is stupid," I finished with a wave of my hand. "Now I'm done."

He gritted his teeth. "Good, now get in the car," he ordered as he strolled away.

"Uh, why? Apparently, you're oh so dangerous around me. Isn't that why you left, Edward, to protect me? Considering the fact that I just had a needle practically dragged through my flesh, do you really think I should get in the car with a man who literally has to fight his every instinct to kill me?"

At his furious glower, I continued.

"I mean, I'm just saying, a safety conscious person like you probably wouldn't want me getting in a car with man who wanted to sink his nasty ass fangs into my neck from the very first second we met. Just saying," I shrugged innocently.

"Get. In. The. Car."

I smiled. "Okie, dokie."

As I stumbled over to the car, Edward got in the front seat and wound the windows down. I was guessing to get away from the scent of my blood. I opened the door with a swing, probably damaging the door frame judging on how hard it swung back and tossed my clutch in, hitting Edward in the head.

"Oops. My apologies," I said I climbed in next to him and offered him a smile. "I'm ready whenever you are," I added when he sat there scowling at me.

"This is going to be fun," he growled as he started the engine.

**A/N** Okay, it's 1:49am and I've just finished the last sentence. Totally worth it considering the fact that I actually had to stop because I was laughing from the cat videos I was watching. Please let me know what you thought!

For anyone who wants to check out Bella's new tat you can just go on Google and write in Dark Demon book cover and it should come up. I would put the link up but the rules on here confuse me.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**Hi guys. I want to thank you for some really sweet reviews. I know everyone says that on here, but they truly mean the world to me. To know that you like my story and compliment it so much really fills me with warm fuzzies!

Let me also say that you would have gotten this chapter an hour earlier but I was watching Aragorn and Arwen clips on line. If you've watched or read, which chick do you prefer?

So, here is Edward's POV of the journey home and he's finally getting some answers he wants and we get to see a little more inside his head. I hope I got it write so please let me know what you think cause I am a little nervous about it.

**EPOV**

I strived for patience as I raced down the highway. Despite the tempting smell of Bella's fresh blood and that I was furious with her; I didn't drive as fast home as I had on the way to Seattle.

I didn't lie when I said I'd broken pretty much every speed law ever made.

When Alice had showed me the vision she'd had, I hadn't thought, I had just raced out of the house and into my car intent on stopping her before she did anything stupid. Alice had warned me that I would be too late, but that hadn't stopped me.

_What was she thinking?_ I thought angrily. Drinking, getting tattoos and then going to a bar in a city she barely knew. It was beyond dangerous, it was stupid.

I was thankful for the time that I'd spent over the past six weeks reacquainting myself with her potent scent. My throat still burned like a branding iron had been shoved down my throat and swirled around, but it was tolerable.

It was nothing like when James had almost taken her away from me and the smell of her blood had threatened to override my control. It was hard still, now I knew how her sweet blood tasted and with its nectar in the air the demon on me wanted to be unleashed.

Bella, who had been quiet for the past couple of minutes, rolled her head to face me as she fingered her necklace. "Do you like my necklace?" she asked, her voice slurred and almost childlike.

I frowned down at her. It was a question I hadn't expected since Bella barely spoke to me about important, never mind trivial things like her necklace. "Yes, it's very beautiful."

She smiled at that. "It's the Evenstar necklace that Arwen gave Aragorn. I'm totally crushing on him right now," she told me in a loud whisper.

Fighting down the idiotic flare of jealousy because she had a crush on someone other than me, I had to remind myself that Aragorn was a fictional character. "Is that so?"

"Yep," she replied. "I don't like the blond chick, though. I mean, I know that it in a lot of ways that she and my future husband are better suited together, but that's not the point. Just because it's easier doesn't make it right, you know?" she asked looking up at me.

I nodded absently as her words went through my mind. I should have known that she would see it like that. Bella was nothing but full of courage and she would fight with everything for the one she loved. Give up everything for him.

"You are much like Arwen," I admitted quietly.

She beamed up at me with that and nodded her head as if she'd known all along but liked to hear it.

It was another five minutes before we spoke again. I was trying to think of something to say to her without destroying the brief truce we seemed to have thanks to her drinking. Bella on the other hand was fascinated with the car radio.

In all the months that Bella and I were together she always seemed slightly uncomfortable in my car, as if she were afraid that she shouldn't touch anything. That didn't seem to be a problem anymore, I thought dryly as she switched from radio station to radio station until it got on my very last nerve.

"Stop playing with that. It's not a toy," I hissed as she poked at every button with enthusiasm.

"I'm not!" she argued as she held her hands up.

I sighed and turned back to the road thinking of ways to talk deeply with a woman who was not herself at the moment.

"Bella," I snapped when the radio station turned yet again.

Bella groaned. "You're such a grouch," she said as she dropped back into her seat.

She is intoxicated, I reminded myself. Do not snap at her. Let her be, I told myself.

"Bella!" I snapped and heard an evil laugh come out of her mouth from beside me telling me that she knew exactly what she was doing.

"My back hurts," Bella spoke up after a few seconds of blessed silence. Something I never thought that I would be grateful for.

"That's because you had a tattoo earlier this evening. You, the girl who cannot stand neither blood nor needles," I added through gritted teeth.

"I closed my eyes and breathed through my mouth a lot of the time. Bill was really nice about it. I'm thinking for the second on I'm going to have _'Just because you can doesn't mean you should'_, written like on my wrist or something."

I rolled my eyes. She was planning her second one already.

Bella squirmed in the seat next to me. "It really does hurt." She turned to give me a long look. "If you bite my back I'm going to be really pissed."

"Let's just be quiet for a while," I suggested.

She held up her hands innocently. "I'm okay with being quiet. It was you that's been yapping on ever since we got in the car."

We only made it half a mile before Bella started humming a song under her breath. It took me a while to realize that it was one of the many country song's I had heard her listen to over the past weeks.

I thought about it for a moment. Bella was drunk and obviously not herself, but I wasn't above using that to my advantage. I could finally get some of the answers I wanted.

"Tell me something, Bella," I began.

"Shoot," she nodded once.

"Why do you listen to country music? In all the months we were together you never showed an interest."

Bella smiled softly. "You really want to know?"

I nodded my head. "I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

She shrugged her shoulders. "What two genres of music did you tell me once that you couldn't stand? Rap and country," she answered her own questions. "And as much as I like a bit of rap I couldn't stand listening to it constantly so I listened to some country. Before I knew it I realized just how wrong you were," she laughed.

"And how was I wrong?" I asked unable to hold back a smile even though I felt like someone had wrenched out my heart. She couldn't even listen to the music she loved because of me.

"It's beautiful. It's fun and sassy or sad but truthful. I went from liking a song here and there to trying to listen to as much as possible. You should listen to it more, you know?"

I nodded my head. I wasn't about to tell her that every song Id heard her listen to was now on my IPod as well as part of my collection at home. Anything to feel closer to her.

"I will," I promised her. "I've noticed that you seem a lot more... upright lately," I finished not knowing how to venture the subject without offending her.

Luckily, Bella laughed. "Upright? That's the polite way of saying I don't fall on my ass every five seconds."

I joined in her laughter, enjoying the moment despite the smell of blood in the air and my residual anger over her actions tonight. I could put that all aside, though, for the chance to talk to her again.

I had lied earlier, I could admit to myself. I didn't miss the 'old Bella' because she was the same. Bella had always had this side to her only she'd been too afraid she show it. Whatever had changed to make her more comfortable and confident in her own skin I was grateful for? The only thing I missed about her was the part that offered me her love so freely.

I missed that more than I could say.

"I guess you could put it that way," I smiled. "What happened?"

"Well, we were hanging out and Jessica suggested it could be something to do with an inner ear infection. She'd read that things like that could affect balance and stuff and so I made an appointment. Turns out that it wasn't that," she laughed.

I nodded in agreement. I would have known had it been something like that.

"Surprisingly enough, it was nothing to do with that," she giggled. "It does turn out however that if you walk around with her head down and trying to fade in as much as possible, you do tend to stumble and knock into things a lot. It was about two months later when I realized that while I was still a little bit of a klutz, I didn't fall down half as much and when I did I just laughed it off."

I smiled softly. Good for her, for finally finding her confidence and shrugging off what had once humiliated her so much.

"And Charlie? You're a lot closer to him now."

She smiled as she laid her head back and closed her eyes. "I love my dad. For the longest time I thought of him as just Charlie, a guy who was techniqually my dad but when I finally got to know him I was already grown and more a parent than my own mother. I didn't need someone to look after to me and question me. I also had you and your family and I was absorbed in that. When you left he was really worried about me and I got to see behind some of his walls that I didn't even know was there."

I nodded. "He's always loved you very much. The day you were nearly killed in the parking lot I could see that he wouldn't be able to live without." Another reason I hadn't wanted her to become like me and see the damage it would do to her father.

"He is wonderful. Anyway, it was him who agreed to let Angela and Jessica drag me out the house and then stay over as much as I'd like. Before I knew it our relationship was changing. We didn't sit in silence all the time, we had thing's we could discuss and laugh about. I felt more comfortable around him and then after a while I thought nothing of kissing him on the cheek or giving him a hug." She laughed suddenly. "I remember the time when we had a slumber party as Angela's and watched scary movies all night and scared ourselves witless. The next night I swore that I could see monsters in my room so I grabbed my blanket and went and woke him up and slept in his room with him. I'd never done that before. It was nice," she shrugged once again.

"And Jessica and Angela? I remember at one point when you didn't like Jessica and with Angela..." I trailed off.

"I was a bad friend," she confided. "I saw myself as being above all the high school stuff they said and did and thought and then I realized, that no, I wasn't above it and I was the botch for the thinking that I was. They're sweet and kind and they were there for me when I felt really alone."

I closed my eyes against her words. Could I ever truly make it up to her? Did staying make me as selfish as she had said? Right now it felt like I was. A part of me, the part that always wanted Bella as safe and as happy as possible told me to leave, to let her be happy, but the more selfish part of me wanted to stay.

I wanted to be the man that she had once thought me. The one she had loved without reservation despite my faults. I feared that was too much to ask.

"You seem to have a lot more confidence with fashion," I said wanting to pull myself away from my melancholy thoughts.

"Do you like my shirt?" She asked sitting up and pulling the fabric away to show me. "It was like a sign from the Gods that I should wear it. Do you like it?" she repeated.

I looked at the shirt that showed off her toned arms and delicate collar bones. The material seemed to flow like silk over her skin, drawing my attention to the lines of her body.

"More than I should," I admitted darkly.

Bella simply laughed. "I put on some weight since you last saw me," she admitted. "I don't mind, though. I like my body the way it is now. I got me some curves," she laughed.

Yes she did, I thought as I forced my eyes to the road.

"I'm hungry," she said abruptly.

I nodded my head and soon found a fast food place where Bella, who had once picked at food and then insisted on paying for everything, ordered enough food for ten and then turned to me and said "Well, I'm not paying."

For the first time in a truly long time, I laughed freely as I paid for the small mountain of food that Bella had ordered.

On the drive back, I continued to probe Bella and get some of the answers I so needed. I kept it light and on more trivial things.

I found out that she honestly couldn't chose which her favorite country artist was and that she had practiced some of the dance moves I had seen her do in the club with Jessica and Angela for hours.

I found out that while that she had watched _Lord of the Rings_ multiple times she had yet to read the books because she hated it when she didn't know pronunciation of names or places and feared she'd rip her hair out trying.

For a long time she answered my questions without batting an eyelid, somewhat unaware that while she thought we were just having a conversation she was actually feeding my deep routed need to have some Intel into her life.

Alice could tell me what she was doing night after night and Jasper could tell me her every emotion, but I never knew the why and now I was finally getting it.

What did make me laugh was so find out that the books she had preferred had changed somewhat. Before she had read classic's like Bronte, Shakespeare and Austen. Now she constantly read Christine Feehan (which she had proudly declared was her favorite author), Sherrilyn Kenyon (finally I got to know who Acheron was) and Gena Showalter (she had then ranted about the cuteness of Gideon and how she hoped she wasn't going to drag out Thane and the boys stories like she had with Paris).

It didn't surprise me that Bella spoke more passionately about the characters in her books then she did about herself. She had always loved reading, and while her genre preference had changed, it was nice to know that she still loved reading.

After a while Bella started to get tired, especially since she'd filled herself on cheeseburgers and milkshake.

"Edward," she whispered as she curled up as much as possible in her seat. "I'm cold."

I hated the fact that, as much as I wanted to I couldn't close the window. While her tattoo was healing, her wound was still open and the scent of blood still clung to her.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I apologized before reaching into the back seat to grab the jacket I had thrown in their days ago. At the red light, I stopped and tucked the jacket around her and turned up the heater, trying to keep her as warm as possible.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

Bella turn to look at me with tired eyes and, for the first time in so long, a kind and loving smile that warmed me as nothing else could.

"You always worry so much, Edward and I don't know why. You worry about this and about that and the maybes, so much in fact that you don't see what's truly in front of you sometimes."

I brushed her hair away from her face as she closed her eyes. "Perhaps. I do see you, though."

I needn't have spoken since Bella was fast asleep and snuggling up under my jacket.

On the rest of the drive home I tried to think of ways to prove my love, my sincerity and how truly sorry I was for not only leaving her, but for making her believe that I didn't want her anymore.

I had given her space, which had seemed to help minutely, but I couldn't think of anything that would help us get back to where we had once been.

Should I serenade her? Perhaps send bouquet after bouquet of flowers, write a song, beg and plead with her night and day to consider giving me a second chance.

I didn't know and the more I thought about how unsure our future was, the more I worried.

Eventually, I pulled up outside Bella's house and to save from waking her, I got out of the car and quickly made my way to the passenger door. It was the early hours of the morning and the thought patterns of her neighbors showed that they were all fast asleep so I didn't have to worry about using my vampire abilities.

I pulled her into my arms, careful to not only hold my breath for safety's sake, but to keep from touching her tattoo and perhaps causing her pain.

After all this time, they still kept the spare key in the same place and I let myself into the house, closing the door with my foot behind me.

It was strange, I thought at I stood there. I had lived in some of the most beautiful places on the planet. I had lived in mansions and beautiful houses with art and history and everything that most people would crave.

Yet, this small house with its male furniture and small kitchen table with three miss match chairs and narrow stair way, was the one place in my life where I'd ever truly felt at home and I knew that Bella was the reason why.

As I carried her up the stairs, I remembered the night of her birthday party. The guilt I felt, the shame and horror at knowing that she was hurt and it wasn't because of an enemy but because of my family and myself.

If it had been a nomadic vampire I could have gotten over it eventually, but when it's your brother who attacks the woman you love. When it you who have to fight the urge to kill her and can't hold her hand while she's in pain, that you have to leave the room, how can you stay?

I had thought of nothing else all night long as Id held in her in my arms and prayed, for the first time in a century, for God to help find a way of staying.

No sign from God had come and I wasn't surprised. The only thing that I could see behind my eyes was Bella hurt and bleeding and it being because of something as simple as a paper cut. It was no enemy or fatal accident, just something that happened to humans every day and yet it could have cost Bella her life.

I knew she didn't understand my reasoning and I knew she resented it and I couldn't blame her, but I hadn't seen another way. Bella loved me and I knew she would have stayed with me even though her life was at risk every day. That night had proved that and I couldn't lie to myself any longer.

For days I had tried to think, tried to think of a way where she could be safe and I could stay, but I hadn't found one. The only option was for me to leave and for Bella to have some normalcy and the chance to see what her life could be without me in it.

I could never truly explain how it had felt to stand there in that forest and speak the words that burned worse than any venom as they came from my mouth. To see her face and the pain there and know that once again I had caused it.

Then Bella had thrown my fears and insecurities back in my face and I knew she didn't mean them, but they cut deeper than I had ever thought possible.

Bella had then walked away. She didn't know that I had stood there and watched her leave and fought every instinct to follow after her. Eventually Id had to make myself leave the only place that offered me any comfort and return home.

The others had already left and so I was truly all alone and so I had sat there, at the piano and replayed the day when I had first brought Bella here. How she had sat and watched me play with awe in her eyes.

I knew that if it were possible for vampires to shed tears I would have filled an ocean. Eventually, I had gotten into my car and drove away, leaving everything I loved and cherished behind.

Placing Bella gently on the bed, I pulled the covers around her and ran downstairs to get her a glass of water for in the morning and placed it on the bedside table with some pain killers.

While she lay there gently snoring away, I walked around the room where all my favorite memories had ever happened.

It had more feminine touches of color and style, like the once purple curtains were now a bright yellow with white daises on them. The bed, a new one that we could have used all those months ago was bigger and had the same design.

There were pictures everywhere of her and the girls and even some of Charlie and of her mother that I had never seen before.

I couldn't help the small chuckle as I traced my fingers across the nails that stuck out at odd angles in the window frame. She had spirit that was for sure.

Knowing that I would have to leave, that she wouldn't want me here like she one had, I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and leaned in to press a tender kiss to her forehead before pressing mine to hers.

"I know I failed you, Bella," I whispered. "And I wish I knew how to make it up you. I guess I'm going to have to let you take the lead here because I seem to keep messing up," I chuckled.

"So take all the time you need, because I'm going to be right here waiting for you. Just don't make wait too long," I smiled.

For a moment I allowed myself to imagine none of it had happened, that it was the night of her birthday and I could take it all back. In the end I knew it was nothing but a silly fantasy. I had failed her and only she could decide whether or not I stood a chance.

Pressing a last kiss to her cheek, I left her bedroom and went downstairs to leave Jessica a message saying that Bella was home and safe and she would call her when she awoke. I knew that Bella would.

Looking around one last time, I closed the door behind me and got in my car and drove home. As I pulled up outside the house, I sat there for a minute. Inside Alice and Jasper were preparing for our families return. The town thought that my family was already back, but they hadn't arrived yet. It was easy to keep up the lie since we didn't venture into town a lot anyway.

I didn't want to go inside yet, though. I didn't want this night end.

Glancing over I saw the jacket that I had used as a make-shift blanket for Bella and pressed it to my face.

It still smelled of her.

**A/N **So, what do you think? Next chapter will be Bella's morning hangover!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**Hi guys! Thank you so much for your reviews, I love them. Here is the morning after and Bella is awake and feeling the effects of the night before.

**BPOV**

I was awoke to the blinding light coming in through my bedroom window, the sick feeling in my stomach and the stampede of Mumakil's currently going on in my head.

"Oh please God if I don't throw up all over myself I'll be forever in your dead," I mumbled as I rolled over to press my face into my pillow as I fought of a wave of nausea.

My stomach flipped, my entire body trembled and I broke out into a cold sweat but after ten minutes of praying, begging and cursing every alcoholic beverage on the planet, my body finally settled enough for me to roll over without hurling everywhere.

I slowly opened my eyes to see a glass of water and a bottle of pain medication from the bathroom cabinet.

How the hell had that gotten there?

Actually, the more important question was how the hell had I gotten here?

I managed to drag myself up and run my hand through my hair which I knew looked like Id stuck my finger in a socket and then did some head banging just to add to the look.

"Hello?" I called out groggily. How had I gotten here? Who had brought me here? Was there a dead body somewhere in my house?

"Stop. It," I growled at the dog that barked in the street.

As I got to my feet, the pain in my head and behind my eyes intensified and after downing some pain meds and drinking back the stale water I flopped back down onto the bed.

"Forget it," I whispered before falling back to sleep.

* * *

Sometime later, I resurfaced feeling a little bit more like a human being. My eyes were a little sensitive and my head had a dull ache going on, but I felt better.

I got to my feet, steadier than before and made my way into the bathroom and groaned at the sight I saw in the bathroom mirror.

My eyes were dark, but that was due to last night mascara and my hair looked like I'd been dragged through a bush backwards.

Knowing that it was going to take more than a brush and a prayer to get it under control, I turned on the shower and climbed in. Remembering last minute that I still had a bandage from my tattoo last night, I cringed as I pulled it off.

"Ow," I whimpered as I threw it into the small silver trashcan we kept in the bathroom without looking at it. Last thing I needed to see was that.

Careful to keep my chest to the shower, I spent more time just standing under the hot spray of water then actually bathing.

It was there that I remembered that it was Edward who had taken me home so it must have been Edward that had laid me on the bed and placed the glass of water and pain killers on the bed side table.

I didn't know how I felt about him being in my room when I was so vulnerable and out of it. I knew Edward would never take advantage of me, hell I couldn't have got him to do that when I was awake, sober and together never mind when I wasn't.

So, because I was confused about what had happened last night, I decided to put it out of my mind.

Eventually, I climbed out, patted down the small of my back, blow dried my hair and dressed in sweat pants and a hoodie. Yes, I knew just how sexy I looked today; I thought as I pulled on a pair of sunglasses and left the house.

Despite the fact that I still felt a little sick, I wanted junk food and since I was alone today I thought nothing was better than to go shopping for some junk food and spend a day in front of the television.

I also needed to pick up some sort of tattoo anti-bacterial cream so it wouldn't get infected. We had brought some from Bill, but obviously I'd left that in Seattle. Good job, Edward.

On the drive to the supermarket I sang along to Faith Hill's _This Kiss_ and tried not to go into a fit of road rage whenever anyone cut me up.

Soon I pulled up in the only supermarket in Forks and prepared to run across the parking lot in the pouring rain. Normally I would have my umbrella in my truck but I had packed it with along with other things to take to Seattle. I mentally thanked Edward again as I dragged my hood over my head and ran as quickly as I could into the store. Never had I been so glad to see those florescent lights.

As I grabbed a shopping cart, I remembered back when I had first moved to Forks, how the only place I felt comfortable was in the supermarket. I wondered what that said about me. Was I destined to be a stepford wife or something?

Something's hadn't changed over the months. I still shopped for groceries and all the things that we needed around the house that my dad would never and had never thought to pick up on the rare occasions when he shopped.

To give him credit he had come along a few times, but he seemed to be intimidated by the stacked aisles and crying children that attempted to get away from their mothers. He was such a man.

Popping in my ear buds I strolled down the first aisle, popping random thing's into the cart I silently apologized to my dad since it was his credit card I was using. Not that it would stop me.

By the time I got to the more cosmetic and lotion aisles, my cart was filled and I couldn't honestly say I needed a single thing in there.

I gasped. "Oh, strawberry lace scented hand wash!" I practically snatched the bottle off the shelf and twisted the cap off to take a sniff. It smelled like something I wanted to eat. I popped that in the cart also before moving onto to find the anti-bacterial cream.

When I found them I stepped back with a frown. There was just so many. It reminded me of the part in _Ten Inch Hero_ when Priestly was trying to decide which tampons to buy and there were just so many to choose from. Yes, it wasn't like I was a guy picking up female hygiene products, but it still felt pretty overwhelming.

Pushing my sunglasses up, I picked up two bottles and scowled down at them. They both said the same things, but I had no idea what I should be looking for.

My glance flickered to the shelves and I shoved the bottles back to grab another. "Hah. Sale!" That was my obvious choice.

"You know, all because something is on sale doesn't mean it's the best product," a bell like voice said from behind me.

I squeezed my eyes shut before turning to face Alice. "Why are you here? It's not like they sell AB Negative in the freezer section."

Alice laughed. "I do miss your sense of humor. No, I came because we still have to keep up the appearance of being human. It's a terrible waste, but it's not like we have you around for that anymore," she finished solemnly.

I remembered the time when Esme had shopped based on my preferences. Every item of food was something I liked. Every drink in the fridge was my favorite. It had made me feel welcome.

"I guess not," I agreed equally as quiet.

Alice reached passed me to pick up a bottle and pass it to me. "This will be best and it won't irritate your skin like the one on sale would have."

I frowned as I took the bottle from her small, cold hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We stood there in an uncomfortable silence for a long moment. "I know you're very angry with me. I know that you feel like I betrayed you by leaving, but please understand that Edward is my brother and he asked me to leave. I knew he would come back eventually."

"That's not the point, Alice," I interrupted. "I understand you, I do. You can have a conversation with me now and it won't matter as much because you know what will happen in a week or month from now and that's what you need to know, but that's not fair to me."

She had the grace to look guilty. "I know it's not, but you have to understand that it's how I am. It's how I have been ever since I awoke and have been ever since. It's difficult to worry about the present when I know how the future will turn out."

"Maybe you should try. That's why you told Edward, wasn't it? You knew that if he knew what was happening in Seattle then he'd race to me and bring me home and give him the time with me that he wanted."

Alice nodded. "Yes. I know it will only make you angrier, but I can't help myself. I just want you and Edward to be happy and to together. It's your destiny and it's hurting you both while you fight it."

I looked into her eyes and knew, knew she was only doing what she thought would help in the long run. I knew that she did love me, despite everything, but that didn't change the fact that she hadn't listened. That for a woman who could see every outcome of the future, couldn't see what her own actions were doing to me.

"I can't talk to you right now, Alice. Please just stop looking for my future and really stop telling Edward every time you think I'm about to do something he wouldn't approve of. It's been a long time since I've needed his, or any of your approval. Thanks the advice," I added as I shook the tube of cream in the air and walked away from her.

I could feel her eyes on me as I left but I didn't turn around. It seemed like Alice and I were the ones at an impasse this time. I wanted Alice to back off and see where I was coming from and she wanted me to face everything for the sake of a future that hadn't even happened yet.

Deciding that the best thing to do was to get as far away from Alice as possible, I paid for my shopping and got as quickly as I could to my car, feeling numb after having yet another run in with my old friend.

Instead of driving straight home, I found myself driving around town singing my heart out to Miranda Lamberts _Over You_. It was strange that a song about death made me think of everything I felt inside and wouldn't let myself acknowledge.

It was as I drove past the local diner where my dad usually went once or twice a week and my jaw dropped at what I saw outside on the small parking lot.

"What the hell?" I muttered as I pulled up.

Standing outside, in the pouring rain was Mike and Jack and they were squaring up against each other like you saw in a bad movie.

"What's going on?" I yelled as I marched over to them.

"Stay out of this, Bella," Mike snarled never taking his eyes off of Jack.

While Mike radiated fury, Jack was a lot calmer though his anger was evident. "It's cold out, Bella. Get back in the truck."

"No," I answered simply as I tried to push in between them. "You two are friends, why are you puffing up against each other like you're in _West Side Story_?"

"He stole my girl," Mike growled.

I pulled back to look at him with a frown. "Huh?"

"You broke up with her, Mike. You threw her away like trash and you want to come down on me because I realize ow special she is," Jack replied darkly.

I had never seen Jack angry and I had to admit that he was pretty damn cute when he was.

"There's a code, you dick. You don't go there with your friends ex," Mike said as he shoved Jack back a couple of steps.

Jack shoved me out of the way just in time before Mike took a swing at him. Before I knew it the two were throwing punches and in a town where vampires are around cut lips could be dangerous. Also, both were my friends and I didn't like to see them like this.

"Stop it, stop it, and stop it!" I yelled as I dragged Jack off of Mike and wedged myself between them. "Can you see yourselves?" I demanded as I took them in. Jack had the beginnings of a black eye, split lip and a bruise forming on his jaw. His clothes were torn from wear Mike had ragged on them and were now covered in mud.

Mike wasn't much better. His clothes were very much the same as Jacks' but his nose looked like it was broken and blood poured down his face.

Do not pass out, I ordered myself firmly.

Breathing slowly through my mouth I glared up at both of them. "Fighting is stupid and it makes you both look stupid since isn't Jet Li and Jackie Chan going at it but Hugh Grant and Colin Firth in Bridget Jones Diary. All we need is a couple of trash cans and It's Raining Men playing in the background."

"Bella," Mike growled, obviously eager to get at him.

"Shut up," I snapped. "I have decked you before Mike and I will do it again," I threatened as I gave him a shove. "Besides after morning I've had, you really do not want to start me."

"Whatever," he snapped as he stormed away.

"Hey!"

"Let it go, Bella. He's pissed at me and nothing you say is going to calm him down," Jack added on a sigh.

I stared up at him. "You're a mess."

Jack just laughed and if it wasn't for the state of his face and clothes you never would have guessed that only moments ago he was involved in the first human on human fight I'd ever seen.

"Where's your car?" I asked with a frown.

"Mike drove us from my house. I wanted to talk to him."

Shaking my head I started in the direction of my truck. "You can't go home like that you'll give your parents a heart attack. You can clean up at mine and borrow some of my dad's clothes."

Jack followed me to my truck and jumped into the passenger seat. "Thanks Bella, my folks will flip."

I smiled at his quote. Jack was always good for some movie trivia and had always been able to keep up with me. "It's okay," I assured him as I started the truck, rolling the windows down much like Edward had last night. "Do you want to tell me what happened? Feel free to start at the beginning."

Jack sighed as he wiped the blood away from his swollen lip. "Well, you know that Jessica and I have been dating for an over a month and we decided that since Mike and I were friends we would keep it quiet until we knew where we were going."

I nodded my head. I knew all this. Jack and Jessica were very much PDA happy when they were out of school but they were very careful to only come across as good friends.

"So, since you and Jess swapped I love yous, you decided to tell Mike and he got pissed," I finished for him.

Jack nodded, unsurprised that I would know about he and Jessica declaring their love for one another. "He was really pissed, more than I thought he would and when I tried to go after him he started saying that I was getting his left overs and if he wanted her back he could. Honestly, if you hadn't have come when you did, then I would have thrown the first punch. No one talks about Jess like that."

I turned to him with a soft smile. "I'm glad she has you. You do realize that she will probably castrate Mike for messing up your pretty face, right?" I teased.

He grinned. "That's my baby."

* * *

"Just place the bags on the side and go and wash up. I'll put some of my dad's clothes in his room for you."

"Sure he won't mind?" he asked as he placed the heavy brown bags onto the kitchen counter.

I turned to him with a smile. "My dad's won't fit you, but he does have some clothes from his... thinner days," I laughed. "As long as I get them back before he decides to get nostalgic then we'll be fine. The Chief of Police will never know you wore his clothes or were half naked and alone with his daughter in his house."

He paled in front of me. "That's not even funny."

I threw my head back and laughed. "Go on upstairs, I'll grab you some clothes and then throw yours in the wash."

After shoving in an armful of clothes into Jacks arms, he tossed some out onto the hallway and thanked me again for being so nice.

On the way down the stairs the phone began ringing off the hook. "Wait, wait, wait," I chanted until I could reach the cordless on the living room table. "Hello?" I answered breathlessly.

"Where the hell have you been?" Jessica demanded. "Edward practically drags you out of the club and takes off with you and you never called after he left a message saying that you would. What happened?"

I laughed as I tossed Jack's clothes in the washer. "Nothing, he drove me home, helped me into bed and then left. To be honest I don't even remember most of it. And no, nothing happened," I said before she could even ask.

"Oh," she replied sounding disappointed. "Well, why didn't you call? We were worried."

I felt guilt wash over me. "I'm sorry. As soon as I woke up all I wanted was a shower and then food. I would have called you back when I got in but your boyfriend got into a brawl and distracted me."

"Wait. What?" She all but screeched down the phone.

I filled her in on how I had come across the guys about to come to blows and what Jack had told me had happened. "And now he's getting naked upstairs. It's really a win for me," I teased her.

"Don't be a bitch. I'd scratch your eyes out," she added darkly which only made me laugh.

As Jack bounded down the stairs I said, "Here you talk to him. Jack stop that," I giggled into the phone.

"Bitch!" I heard her shout as I hand Jack the phone.

He gave me a confused look. "I'm not even going to ask. Hey baby," he drawled into the phone.

While Jack gave Jessica a play by play of what happened, I put all the food away, tried out my new strawberry laces hand wash and covered my tattoo in a light layer of the cream Alice had said would work better for me.

Eventually Jack said goodbye to Jessica along with a very sweet 'I love you', he came into the kitchen and frowned at the sight of the small buffet that I had going on. "You plan on feeding the five thousand?"

"Oh yeah," I drawled. "I'd feed them a lot better than bread and fist, too. You hungry?" I asked as I held out a bowl of chips. "I was going to have a Buffy marathon; you can stay if you don't have any other plans."

"No popcorn?" he asked with interest.

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't like it."

It was his turn to wrinkle his nose and give me a look of utter disgust. "And you call yourself a movie buff."

I cocked my head to the side. "Sit your ass down before I throw your ass out."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Yes ma'am."

As Jack set up the DVD player, I sat back and put my feet up. "You look pretty cute in my dad's clothes," I chuckled as I bit into a brownie.

"Oh yeah, stone washed jeans from the nineties are my thing," he drawled as he pressed enter on and came to sit beside me.

I turned to look at him with a serious expression as we waited for the disc to load. "So, just what are you intentions with my Jessica?"

"Are you serious?" he asked throw a mouth of toffee.

I gave him a bland look. "Deadly. Look, you're cute and all but she's one of my best friends and I know Mike really messed her around and I'm not going to sit here watching my favorite Slayer kick ass with a guy who intends on breaking her heart."

Jack leaned forward and looked into my eyes. "I know a lot of people see Jess as being shallow and even at times insensitive and the typical cheerleader and I have to admit, at first so did I. I looked at her as she flitted around school, but by my second day I saw that she cared. That she was smart and funny and she loved her friends. I wanted to ask her out for so long," he laughed quietly.

"But you didn't because of Mike," I finished.

He nodded. "Yeah, Mike was a really big factor. Another one was that she is way out of my league."

I nodded my head in an agreement making him laugh. "It's true."

"It is," he agreed. "I saw her, this bright and popular girl who was so beautiful and I thought that no way in hell would she even be interested in a guy like me."

"But your hot," I said candidly.

Jack threw his head back and roared with laughter. "Thank you for that. But you have to understand that at my old school I was a geek. I liked movies and book and music that not many people listened to. I wasn't the type of guy one of the most popular girls in school would want."

"She did," I told him softly. "From the second she saw you. It pissed her off that you never seemed to notice her."

"I noticed her. I noticed everything about her. The way she smiled and the way she spoke and the energy that always seemed to be around her. I saw her and I thought 'There she is'. I know we're young and anyone would roll their eyes at me for saying that when I'm eighteen, but that's what I thought. When you find that, Bella, you don't let her go."

I sat there and felt like a hand had been shoved into my chest. I knew the type of love he was talking about. I had felt that for Edward and I thought he had felt that way for me. Only he had let me go.

After Jack went home, I eventually made my way to bed and lay there in the darkness, thinking of what Jack had said tonight, how the love he had for Jessica was so apparent whenever he spoke about her, or thought of her.

I thought of how I had felt that and for the first time in months I began to hum a tune that had once been my lullaby and drifted off to sleep.

**A/N** So, what do we think? Not much Edward action, but we did get a little more of Alice and Jack who I really like.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N** Hi guys! How much do you love me? Two updates in one day! To be honest I started this chapter thinking I would get what I could done, but I had a lot of fun with it and I ended up finishing it.

You probably know by now that I love country music (and wish I lived out in the South instead of the dreary UK) and I put a lot of music into the fan fiction. It's not done by accident, just to let you know. I just really love these songs and want to tell someone, LOL!

Please enjoy and review!

**BPOV**

Sunday came and went with no drama and I was grateful for it. Jack called around the next morning with my dad's clothes washed and ironed and a shiner from hell. He had laughed and told me that his mother had to be held back so she wouldn't deck Mike.

"No one hurt's her baby," he had grinned from the kitchen table.

I had spent the rest of the day watching season two of Ghost Whisperer and ordering the third season on Amazon.

Jessica and Angela had dropped by on Sunday night to fill me in on the rest of their trip and hang out a little since we were cheated out of our weekend together.

"I can't believe he actually drove to Seattle and took you home," Angela muttered as she nibbled on a chocolate covered grape.

I shrugged my shoulders as I dipped a jelly baby into a bowl of melted chocolate. "Edward was always intense and when he found out he went a little stir crazy."

Jessica scoffed. "Well, that's an understatement. How did he even find out?"

Hating the lie, I quickly came up with a story they would believe other than his sister has a psychic vision. "We all put it on Facebook that we were going and she told Edward," I shrugged.

Angela scowled. "Why would she do that? She's his sister; she must have known how he would react."

I smiled. "I saw her in the supermarket the yesterday and she said it was because she knew we were going to get back together eventually and by not facing that I was hurting the both of us. I guess she just thought if Edward and I were put together we'd have to talk it out."

Jessica grunted. "Oh yeah, like you were going to have deep and heartfelt conversations when you were hammered. She needs to keep out of it."

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her head. "You're awesome," I laughed before settling back. "That's what I told her. I don't know how much attention she paid to me, but there go."

Angela was quiet for a moment. "I don't know if this is allowed to be asked, but is there a chance you might get back together?" she asked quietly.

I looked between them, at their soft and compassionate gazes and I knew, in this, I couldn't lie. "I don't know," I shrugged. "I always feel so angry when I'm around him and I don't know if I can get over that."

"Do you still love him?" Jessica asked.

"I never stopped."

* * *

Jumping out of the truck I smiled when I saw Jessica, Angela, Ben and Jack all standing together by Jessica's car. Jack had both his arms wrapped around Jessica and though I should have felt like a fifth wheel when I walked over to them, I was just filled with happiness for my friends.

My only hope for them was that while I couldn't have the love story with the man I wanted, that they got to have theirs with the men they wanted.

"Hi my sexy man," I batted my eye lashes at Jack as I stopped in front of them.

Jack grinned at me. "Hey, don't go flirting with me and getting me in trouble with my girl. I'm in enough as it is."

Jessica scowled up at him. "You wouldn't be if you hadn't gotten into a stupid fight with Mike."

I bit my lip. "Have you seen him today?"

Ben chuckled. "You mean when he shoved passed us on his way to Tyler and Lauren? Yeah, we got the sense he saw us alright. I don't know why he's mad at me, though. It's not like I broke the code."

"I thought you were fishing with my dad?" I demanded.

Ben shrugged. "I thought it would be fun but some of the guys who were meant to be coming along bailed and so it was just me and a group of forty year old men. Not my thing."

I laughed at him as Angela demanded. "What is it with guys and their codes?"

Jessica glared at Ben. "That code is stupid and void. Mike dumped me, said he didn't want me and just generally made me feel like shit and now someone loves me and he gets all high and mighty. How about when he tried it on with Bella? Isn't that breaking girl code?"

Jacks eyes widened. "He tried it on with you? When? How do I not know this?"

I laughed at his demands. "It happened before you came. I used to have a part time job in the Newton's store and one day, after Edward and I had finished and so had he and Jess, we were closing up and he tried to kiss me."

Angela laughed. "It was more than that, Bella," she said as she snuggled into Ben's arms. "They'd just closed up and as they were clearing up he cornered her up against a shelf and started talking about the chemistry they had and now that Jess and Edward were out of the occasion. That's when he kissed her."

"Ew," Ben shuddered.

"Shut up," I laughed.

"So what happened?" Jack asked eagerly.

I blushed. "Well..."

"She punched him in the face and nearly broke her hand," Jessica laughed.

I remembered the day when I had turned up at school with my hand bandaged and a scowl on my face. When I had told her what happened at first she'd been angry and even a little hurt, but then she'd just found it down right funny.

"His mom fired me," I grumbled.

"So, why were you even friends with him after that?" Jack demanded through his laughter.

I shrugged. "He came up to me and apologized, said he'd read all the signals wrong and could we start over. His mom wouldn't give me my job back but when I threatened to tell my dad what had happened and file sexual harassment, she gave me a good reference," I laughed.

Jack shook his head. "I love this place."

Seconds after the words were out of his mouth, Lauren, Tyler, Mike and a few others strolled past. Mike glared at the sight of Jessica in Jacks arms, but Jack just held his gaze and my respect for him doubled. He wasn't about to hide and cower.

"Mike, come on man, we're friends," he tried to make amends.

"No," Mike interrupted. "We were friends until you got it on with her behind my back. You lied to me."

Jessica spoke up from Jack's embrace. "We didn't want to cause any drama for no reason. I get that your angry Mike, but you have no right to be. Jack and I are in love and I won't apologize for that."

Jack looked into Mikes cold eyes. "Come on, dude, we're best friends."

His eyes turned calculating, something I never expected from him. "And if I said, as your best friend, that I wasn't okay with this?"

Jack's eyes were filled with regret. "Then I'd have to say that's your call. I won't give her up, Mike. Not even for you."

He turned his eyes to Jessica. "And what would you do, Jess, if you found out he was at Bella's for most of Saturday night while you were out of town?"

Jessica gave me a bland look. "I'd say that I already knew and it's pathetic of you to have tried to use that to break us up. You hurt me, Mike, the least you could do is be happy for us."

Mike gave us a look that told us that wouldn't be happening before he stormed away.

Lauren stopped to smile at us. "Imagine that, Bella spending the night with another girl's boyfriend. Some things just don't change."

I rolled my eyes before I offered her a sarcastic smirk. "Why do you hate me, Lauren? Is it because your boyfriend tried to get to first base with me? If so you should hate half the girl in the school cause we all know Tyler's a little man whore. And your just regular kind," I added.

Lauren went to take a threatening step towards me, but Tyler held her back.

"Oh, no, please let her go. Maybe if she got it out of her system she'd back off. I don't know why you think we're mortals enemies, Lauren, cause you're not even on my radar."

"Come on, Lauren," Tyler growled as he pulled her way and giving me 'Why do you have to start her look?'

I shrugged my shoulders. She started it.

"Bitch," she snarled as she stormed away.

Jessica and Angela laughed. "Did you have to bring up Tyler? You know it infuriates her," Angela pointed out.

"And we all know what happened at the end of the night," Jessica added.

"What happened?" Ben and Jack demanded in unison.

I laughed at them. "Something that you will never find out. We pinkied, we swore on clothes and all but made a blood oath. It goes with us to the grave."

"Damn," they grumbled as we made our way into school.

We shared a smile. A while back, when I was trying to move on I had gone on a couple of first dates and no second ones. One of the guys I had gone out with was Tyler. Yes, it was kind of middle finger to the ever absent Edward who had hated Tyler.

We'd had an okay evening where Tyler had never stopped talking about himself and his likes and dislikes and I wondered if I could pull a Boycotts and Barflies and get Jessica or Angela to call me with an 'emergency'.

At the end of the night, as Tyler and I had left the restaurant he had turned to me and pressed a kiss to my lips. I had tried to ignore the part of me that felt like I was being unfaithful to Edward and go with it, but it felt weird.

Edward had been my first and only kiss up until that point and I wasn't used to the warmth, the taste of garlic on his breath, the way our lips molded together.

Instead of enjoying it, I had thought about the kisses Edward and I shared, the kisses I had loved and often replayed in my mind and I had burst out into hysterical tears while he was still kissing me.

Tyler had driven me home; all the while I had sobbed into my jacket and then left without even a word to him. To this day he hadn't told anyone, including Lauren, about what had really happened that night. I think it was mainly due to embarrassment on his own part. No guy wanted to say his kiss made a girl weep uncontrollably.

As I walked with my friends towards the school I saw Edward leaning against his car with an unreadable expression.

I knew he knew about the date, the kiss and the tears and I knew that he wasn't pleased. I wanted to explain, but then I reminded myself that I was a free agent. I didn't need to explain anything to him. He could have been off doing God knows what with God knows who.

The thought brought a stab of pain to my chest when I thought I had shielded myself against that possibility.

Without glancing in his direction again, I walked into school and tried not to pay attention to the pair of eyes that I could feel on me as I went.

"Did you know that I found a new artist I like?" I said as we walked.

"Yeah? Who this time?" Angela teased.

"Lee Brice. He is one sexy man."

* * *

After our run in with Lauren, the rest of the morning went quite smoothly. In lunch Edward was missing from his table.

I was surprised to see him in his usual seat in Biology and I had to bite my tongue at the need to ask him where he had been. It wasn't my place to ask those questions anymore.

Instead I hopped into my seat and went about turning off my IPod. I truly was obsessed with _Woman Like You_ and I knew that until I had listened to it constantly, it would stick in my head.

As I shoved my IPod in my bag, Edward spoke for the first time in school for over a month.

"So, you dated a lot when I was out of town?" he spoke casually but I could hear the bite in his voice. The jealousy that I refused to feel pleased about because that meant I wanted him to care.

Instead I focused on the irritation I felt at him. How dare he judge me for going on a date when he broke up with me! He left, not me. It was his plan to have me move on. How dare he say anything because I did just that.

"Bit me, Edward" I drawled before turning back to the front of class and ignoring him.

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe her.

I knew it was my plan to have her move on and I knew that it wasn't only a possibility but a certainty. Bella was a beautiful person, inside and out and any man would be lucky to have her.

That didn't mean I wanted them to have her.

I had stood there this morning and listened as she told me about Newton and then to find out that she'd voluntarily dated Tyler had all but driven me insane with jealousy.

I had wanted to storm over and declare that she was mine, but that would have angered her and embarrassed her. Instead I had left; I had gone into the forest and vented my anger there.

The only reason I had returned to school was because I hadn't seen Bella in days and I was starting to go insane.

I was trying to keep to her rules, to give her the space and time she needed, but it was hard. Harder then she would ever know to stay away when I caught the image of Jack half naked and bloody in her house. The blood had seemed like an invitation.

Alice had tried to stop me from seeing, something that I knew Bella had demanded her to do, but it was one of those visions that had come to her. She had tried her best to keep me from seeing but it was too late. It had taken both Jasper and Carlisle to hold me back.

Esme and Carlisle had arrived Saturday, earlier than expected but that had wanted to be with us. They wanted to be back in Forks and even see Bella.

Esme had been saddened to know how bad things were between us and was unsure whether Bella would welcome her back into her life. It seemed it was only Esme who knew instantly that Bella might not want her there after everything and accept it fully.

She had sat up with me in the night, encouraged me to hold on and that Bella loved me still. It was hard to keep that in mind when I had to stand there and listen to her admit she had been with other boys. To be able to pick the list out of both Jessica and Angela's mind and not go and kill each of them.

_Don't ruin your progress Edward,_ Carlisle and Jasper had hissed at me as they'd held me down Saturday evening.

How could I ruin something that wasn't there? I had wanted to demand. Bella hated me and in the depth of my despair, I doubted whether she would ever forgive me.

I had stayed, taking my anger out on everyone around me, eager for Monday when I would be able to see her and get the full story from the minds of those around her. I could finally breathe when I found out the reasons behind it, but that didn't make me feel any better.

The only thing that had was the sincere love that Jack felt for Jessica and vice versa. The pair was truly in love and it had calmed me like nothing else could.

I had told myself to stay calm, to remain silent and give her what she wanted. That hadn't worked out. As soon as she had tucked her beloved IPod away I had tried to be as casual as possible when asking her about her dating, but she had heard the anger that boiled beneath.

"Bite me, Edward," she had drawled before turning away. I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips.

At one time that would have sent me on edge, now I thought of it as being adorable.

Bella was a lot feistier than she had once been and I would be lying if I said it didn't do things to me that I never thought would have.

I sat there, discreetly watching her as she wrote notes on whatever the teacher was prattling on about today.

She was beautiful, I thought.

Her eyes, so big and dark and warm even when she tried to hide it. Her hair was long and glossy and I actually ached to press my face into the long tresses like I had once been able to without hesitation.

Her lips, full and red and all but begged to be kissed. I had once been able to kiss those lips whenever I had wanted, which had been more times that she could ever conceive of. I had spent hours wanting to devour those lips, devour her, but I had worried about my control.

Restraint, control, keeping the demon inside of me leashed, it had always been there. What I wouldn't have given to be able to kiss her like I wanted, like she deserved to be kissed.

I had only let my control slip twice, once when I had left her to go and track James and another when I had known it would be the last time I would kiss her.

I vowed right then and there that the desperate kiss that we had shared on her birthday wouldn't be our last kiss.

**BPOV**

George Strait was awesome, I thought as I sang along to _Run_. His voice was so sexy... even though the guy was so much older than me.

When has that ever stopped you, I thought we a laugh.

"Come on, admit it," I ordered Angela.

Jessica had the night off so Angela was on car pool duty. She was off an hour later than me so I was going to hang out in the diner and grab some food before heading over to the store. I couldn't spend any more money in that store.

"Fine, it's a good song. You have a sickness, Bella," she laughed.

"If I have a sickness for sexy men with sexy voices then I don't care. And if that's wrong then I don't want to be right," I told her dramatically.

"So has your parents seen your tattoo, yet?" I asked her.

"No," she groaned. "I keep thinking they're going to find out and then everything will come out and then they will burn me alive."

"Gross," I replied in disgust. "I didn't need that mental picture, thank you. Besides, they won't burn you alive. You need to pull it together, I'm not going crazy and my dad's a cop."

She rolled her eyes. "My dad's a preacher. He had a in with God. If he finds out about this I'll need to ask your dad for police protection."

I laughed at her. "Not long now and we'll be heading off to college and you won't have to worry about it."

She turned to me with bright eyes. "Have you gotten a reply yet? Neither Jess nor I have and most send them out in March. Is that bad?" she fretted.

I shook my head. "I emailed them a week back and they said they hadn't sent out any letters yet. So fingers crossed."

In November Jessica, Angela and I had spent every day after school sending out college applications. We were hoping to get into Seattle University. That way it wasn't too far away from home, but just far enough that we had a more independence.

I had never considered Edward coming back so I had thrown myself into my future. I didn't want to think about how his return affected that. Did he think it did? Did it? I didn't know, so I pushed it to the back of mind like I had with most things.

It had been two days since I had told Edward to bite me in Biology and there had been silence between us ever since. I think he was still a little angry and I had to wonder who was ignoring who for the last two days.

My dad would be home in a couple of days and I was enjoying my time at home alone, it was like having my own place. I had to clean, keep it stocked and to laundry. Of course the girls helped since it was rare that didn't head over for a couple of hours each night. Sometimes the guys would come with and watch my dad's action films or the game and we'd order pizza.

The one time they had suggested they cook, we had threatened to throw them out the house.

"Okay, here we are? You sure you don't want to meet me?" she teased.

I shook my head firmly. "My bank account can't take it," I laughed. "Meet me later and I'll let you a freebie," I promised as I jumped out and headed into the diner.

Once inside I checked the Rota to find that I was working the cash register tonight, which always sucked in my opinion. If you were on the register you had to stay in one place and Max wouldn't let me read my book so this was about to be the most boring four hour shift in my life.

As the first hour past Jay came out to tell me about how he had laid into Max earlier because of the training he had received lately that was meant to be about better customer service and Jay had compared it to sucking away your soul and individuality.

I had high fived Jay and swore that one day marry him and have his children.

It was around an hour before my shift finished that Max had come out and said that Hayley, a new girl who needed extra till training would be taking me off while I watched her tables.

Awesome.

Standing here was driving me insane and I needed to move. Over the past three hours I had gotten better than ever at twirling my pen between my fingers and I wasn't ashamed to admit I was proud of it.

Hayley with her salt and pepper hair and pretty blue eyes came running over to me as soon as she walked in.

"Hey, Jay wants to talk to me about something so would you be able to wait five minutes?"

I glared at her. "I hate you, right now," I scowled.

She laughed as she rushed over to Jay before Max caught her. She was sweet and funny and just enough of a rebel that you liked her for it.

As I stood there a woman came over and asked to pay by card for something that cost barely over a dollar.

It irritated me more than words could say when people did this. If you didn't have a dollar in change with you then why did you come into the diner? Why not order something more? Why annoy me?

The reason it also irritated me was because card transactions took so freaking long to go through because Max was cheap and didn't want to spend money on upgrading. Now a five second transaction was going to take five minutes because the two chicks in front of me didn't have change on them.

It was after I had punched in the reference number that I started to feel a little woozy. My palms began to sweat, my body trembled and I knew I needed to get off the till and run to the bathroom before it was too late.

"Hayley?" I called out.

I glanced around to find her talking to Jay, she smiled at me and held up her hand to signal she'd be over now and I nodded in relief. I just wanted to get out of here.

Uncaring of the fact that I had two customers in front of me, I leaned heavily on the counter and heard the strangest sound in my ears, like paper being crackled.

That was the last thing I heard before everything went dark.

**A/N** Cliff hanger! I know I'm a bitch, please review!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N **Hi guys! I loved all your reviews!

Okay, so if you've read some of my earlier work you'll know that I took a break from writing at one point when I passed out at work and humiliated myself. This is kind of a chapter based on what happened, except without the sexy vampire all worried about me.

Please review, they make me smile!

**BPOV**

Panicked voices woke me. I slowly opened my eyes to the warm lights of the diner. I could hear Jay and Max in the background and wanted to turn my head to see where they were, but before I could everything went dark once again.

Sometime later I groggily pulled my eyes open again and wanted to groan.

Was I dreaming about work again?

Some nights after we'd been incredibly busy I would have dreams of rushing around, trying to serve as many tables as possible. Other nights it would be when I was working the till I would hear the cash register ring again and again and it felt like the post office scene in The Grinch.

It drove me insane.

Knowing I had to wake up and get ready for school, I tried to leave the dream but it was hard. I couldn't seem to wake up.

"What happened?" I heard a woman demand.

"I don't know," another person answered, his voice familiar. "She just called out to Hayley and then she just... fell."

"Should we move her?" a male voice asked.

"Just leave her in the recovery position," the first female ordered calmly.

"No, the paramedics said to leave her as she is until they get here. She hit her off the till as she fell."

It was then that I remembered standing at the till, the sound of paper crackling in my ear and then... nothing. I woke up and thought I had been dreaming.

Oh my god I had passed out. How freakin' humiliating.

I groaned and a hand moved to stroke back my hair comfortingly. "It's okay, sweetie.

I finally opened my eyes fully and took in my surroundings. I was on the floor of the diner; someone had placed a partition of some sort to give me some privacy. It looked like someone had dragged me from behind the counter.

"What happened?" I whispered. It was then that I saw Jay hovering over me with a frown on his face. I gave him a weak smile and managed to curl my fingers in of reassuring him that I was fine.

"She's waving at me," Jay laughed.

"She's burning up," the woman who stroked my hair said as she pressed her cool palm to my forehead. "She's trembling."

It was then I realized that I was. That by body was hot and shaky. I should be concerned but I just wanted to crawl into a whole and die of humiliation.

"What happened?" the woman asked again. I recognized her now as a customer who had come in with her husband half an hour earlier.

"I don't remember," I mumbled. I felt so tired now. I just wanted to go to sleep but they wouldn't let me. They kept me talking to them, asked me if my head hurt.

I just kept saying that I was fine, that I just needed to lay there for a little while until I felt better.

Over and over they asked if I'd eaten, drank, if I felt sick beforehand and over and over I had to tell them that I was fine. Id eaten and drank, I'd had an early night and lots of sleep. I had no idea why I had fainted and all I wanted was to go back to sleep.

"What happened?" Jay asked. "Did you see my fine ass walking by and swooned?"

I let out a shaky laugh. "That's exactly what happened."

He gave me a wink as he lowered himself to the floor. "I knew it. Look I have to go and check on my tables, but I'll be back okay?"

I smiled. "Go do some work."

As he left I glanced up at the woman who held my hand. "I'm going to marry that man."

She laughed down at me. Her green eyes were soft and friendly.

"Thank you so much," I whispered.

She smiled gently as she brushed my hair away from my face. "It's my pleasure."

The next thing I knew a paramedic had arrived, the lady and disappeared and he was prodding around the back of my head. "I'm okay," I mumbled.

"Okay, honey, can you sit up for me?" he asked kindly.

I wanted to tell him no, that I wanted to lie here until I was good and ready to move, but I wanted this over.

Sitting up with the help of the paramedic brought on a wave of nausea that I fought off. It was when he asked Jay to drag over a chair and helped me get off the floor. I knew it was a bad idea as soon as I sat down. I needed to lie down.

It was then, as I fought of wave after wave of sickness that my eyes met Hayley's. She was no working the till and turned to mouth 'You scared the shit out of me.'

"I'm sorry," I whispered. She glared back at me and I felt horrible for knowing I had scared her so badly.

As the paramedic asked more questions and put one of those peg thingies on my index finger, I felt sheen of sweat cover me. I couldn't breathe.

Much to my embarrassment, I threw up into my hands and someone quickly hand me a trash can.

I wanted to die.

"Do you want me to call your dad, Bella?" Max asked from behind me.

"No," I shook my head. "He's fishing or camping," I shrugged pushing the trash can away from me before I hurled again. "Angela," I breathed.

Jay nodded. "It's her friend she works a few blocks over."

Max nodded and wandered off to call my friend. Seconds later he was back with a soft smile as the paramedic helped me into a wheel chair. "She's going to meet you at the hospital. Now, if you're not up for work tomorrow night you just call in and we'll get your shift covered."

I shared a 'Are you kidding me?' look with Hayley who rolled her eyes and mouthed, 'douche' as she served a customer.

"Okay," I muttered, not caring about the freakin' diner.

Jay and everyone waved me off as the paramedic wheeled me out, and another waitress handed me my bag as I left. "Thanks everyone," I called back before the doors shut and I was being strapped in an ambulance.

"Just like in Grey's Anatomy," I joked.

"I wish," another paramedic grinned. "Now, Bella, you just hang in tight and if you're feeling sick or in any pain you just us know, okay?"

I nodded my head. "I'm fine."

"Okay, let's get this show on the road."

**EPOV**

I was in the middle of feeding on a very aggressive mountain lion when I heard Alice's gasp.

It had been two days since I had asked Bella about Tyler and probably halted whatever progress we had made. For two days I had given her space, knowing that I had messed up yet again and that I needed to back off.

After school, and a very tense Biology lesson Jasper, Alice and I had decided to go hunting for some bigger game. I think they just wanted to get me out of town for a couple of hours and try and get my mind off of Bella.

Like that was possible.

At Alice's gasp I lifted my head and searched her mind. I saw Bella falling to the floor at work. I saw Bella in the hospital. I saw her hurt and I wasn't there.

Dropping the dead animal to the ground, I raced to the car knowing I wouldn't be there in time, but needing to get to her.

**BPOV**

Hospitals were so boring.

I stared at a detailed diagram of a heart on the wall and that it was the most depressing place I had ever been to.

The walls were an off white, the floors and ugly shade of green. Everywhere hung outdates signs for skin cancer and high cholesterol. Right next to that was an advertisement for coffee. In between those were bulletin boards with a leaflets pinned to them. One even had an A4 piece of paper stating not to ask the receptionist about times unless you were twenty minutes passed your appointment.

The blue chairs that line the hallway were comfortable, though.

"I hate waiting," Angela grumbled as she paced back and forth the unhappy looking corridor.

Angela had been pacing frantically outside the hospital as we'd pulled up and had raced to me like I had just survived an attack with Michael Myers.

She'd also called my dad but could only get through to voicemail. I had explained to her that he wouldn't get a signal, but that hadn't stopped her from calling him every five minutes since we had arrived.

She had also said that she'd left him three messages when blowing through every red light on the way here. I had reminded her that I had just fainted and we weren't in an episode of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"Isn't this the saddest hallway you've ever seen?" I asked as I glanced around.

Angela stopped to give me a droll look. "We're in a hospital, Bella. It's not exactly a place where rainbows and kittens are made."

I scoffed. "I have seen plenty of hospital waiting rooms, emergency rooms and hallways in my day and I'm telling you its just plain tragic."

Angela laughed as she dropped down into the chair next to me. "Jessica told me to get you to call her when you get home. Or she will come and stay with you tonight."

I groaned. "I just want to go to bed and sleep, Angela. I am fine. Why will no one believe me?" I demanded angrily.

"Um, because you passed out and work and bashed your head on the till. You've been hooked up to an ECG monitor more times than I can count, you've had your blood pressure taken the same amount of times and you got your finger pricked."

I rolled my eyes. "The ECG came back fine, it wasn't a big deal. You can buy one off Amazon. My blood pressure is fine and that bastard hurt my finger," I pouted as I looked down at the small puncture wound on my index finger.

"You threw up in the diner," she added smugly.

"Well, thank you for bringing that up. Again, it was the paramedics fault. He made me move before I was ready and so of course I threw up!"

Angela laughed. "You sound like a child."

I turned to her. "So does your face."

That made her laugh even harder than before. "You really don't like it when people are trying to look after you, do you?"

I huffed. "I just don't like being in here and wasting their time. People are coming with broken legs and chest pains and I pass out and I'm hooked to heart monitors. Besides, you wouldn't like it either if you'd thrown up and not been able to brush your teeth yet."

Angela grinned. "Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything about that..." she trailed off as she handed me a drink.

Angela had gone and raided the vending machines while I had given a urine sample. Something else to be embarrassed about.

I snatched the drink out of her hand as the doctor who had seen me came strolling back over. He was an older man with a beard and glasses too small for his face, but he had been really sweet to me. He'd even let Angela stay in the room when she had refused to leave when the nurses had asked because I'd have to take my shirt off.

"Nothing I haven't seen a hundred times before," she assured him.

After he had allowed her to stay I had muttered, "It's a good job I wore the good bra today," and whipped my t-shirt off.

"Miss Swan," he smiled as he walked up to us.

Angela and I got to our feet, Angela looking a little pale.

"You're perfectly fine; you just had what we like to call a simple faint. A lot of girls round about your age have them. All you need now is a little rest and relaxation. If you feel dizzy or faint again come back to the hospital and we'll get some more tests done."

"That's it? What if she faints and can't get here? Wouldn't it be easier to do the test now instead of risking her passing out again? What kind of place are you running here?" Angela demanded.

I held my hand out and shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you so much for everything. Come along, Angela."

"Is that guy serious? You know what? I'm going to go on Google and write in your symptoms and get a proper diagnosis," she ranted as she pulled her phone out, leaving me to collect our small mountain of junk food.

We had just driven away from the hospital when I rolled my head and felt a sharp pain. "Owie," I whimpered as I felt around.

"What is it? Do we need to go back? I knew it."

"Calm down," I sighed. "I must have hit the side of my head on the till not the back."

"Okay, we'll go back."

"Don't be stupid," I snapped. "All I want to do is go home and sleep. Thank you though," I added more gently. "For racing out of work and staying with him."

"That's what friends do," she shrugged.

* * *

Two hours later I was dozing comfortably on the living room couch, the DVD I had put on for background noise had long finished and was now on the main menu screen.

I had gotten rid of Angela after a lot of pleading, demanding and in the end I had threatened to call her parents and tell her about her tattoo. That had gotten her attention.

I knew I was acting like a spoiled brat and I knew she deserved better, but I just wanted peace and quiet and not have to worry that Angela was worried about me. I had thanked, and apologized to her again as she had left. She had left, told me not to worry about it, before she had left.

She's also warned me that she would be calling every hour to make sure I was okay and she hadn't lied. She had called me a twice since she had left and I had growled both times because she'd woke me up. She laughed at that and then worried that maybe I was sleeping too much. When she had started up her laptop and went onto Google search as she spoke to me I had finally hung up.

Jessica had called and demanded a play by play or she would march over to my house, Jack in tow, and demand it face to face. Unlike Angela Jessica understood that I wasn't a good patient and liked to lick my wounds alone and used that against me shamelessly.

Eventually, I had passed out on the couch, dragging the old blanket off the back of the couch to cover me since I was in my denim short and work t-shirt. Not exactly my comfy pajamas, but they would have to do.

The knocking on the door woke me up and I groaned as I pulled the throw cushion over my head.

"Go away," I whimpered.

The banging continued. "Bella, its Edward, open the damn door."

"Go. Away!" I yelled. What part of being left alone did he not understand? What did Alice chose this one time to actually listen to me and not show Edward the vision of me braining him with a frying pan if he didn't leave immediately.

"Bella!" he yelled through the door.

I snuggled deeper into the couch and decided that eventually he would get the drift and leave. If he didn't I would call the cops and have him removed by force.

I was just about to drift off once again when I heard Edward's footsteps bounding down... the stairs.

Snapping my eyes open, I sat up and watched as he stormed towards me through the dark living room.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snapped.

Edward ignored me as he made his way to me, kneeling in front of the sofa and cupping my face between his cold hands that I didn't want to admit felt good at the moment. That him being here made me feel better.

"You have a slight concussion," he informed me. "What was the name of the doctor that saw you? He should have seen that," he growled.

Afraid of how much I wanted to just rest in his arms, I pushed him away from me. "Don't be ridiculous," I snapped. "I'm fine. I just passed out that's all."

"And you didn't call me," he snarled.

I shoved me until I could get to my feet. I knew he had moved voluntarily, I would never have been able to move him on my own. "Of course I didn't call you. Why would I?" I demanded as I slowly made my way to the kitchen.

"Oh, I don't know because you knew I would go crazy as soon as I found out?" I heard him shout from behind me as he followed me into the pitch black kitchen.

I gave him a sarcastic look, knowing he could see me in the darkness. "Oh, you going crazy over something stupid, isn't that a shocker?" I drawled as I opened the refrigerator. That was a mistake because the bright light hurt my eyes and I all but cringed away from it.

Cursing under his breath, Edward pulled me out of the way to get me the drink. "Have you eaten?" he demanded.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, dad, I ate earlier. Before _you_ woke me up. Jeez, you're worse than Angela," I glared up at him.

He glared down at me and I would have laughed if my head wasn't hurting, I didn't feel sick and I wasn't so pissed off. Despite everything, this was probably the most 'human' fight we'd ever had. This wasn't about vampires or souls and it wasn't deep and dark. It was a fight.

"Well, maybe you should appreciate the fact that you have people who want to take care of you instead of being a spoiled little girl about it."

My jaw dropped. "Who do you think you are? I didn't ask you to come here. I don't want you here. And if I'm acting like a spoiled little girl why don't you just go the hell home!" I shouted at him.

Edward ran his fingers through his hair angrily and looked like he wanted to yank it out. "I'm not going to leave you."

I scoffed. "Why? You've done it before," I laughed needing to remind me more than him because dammit he looked big and strong and a part of me really wanted him to take care of me.

Edward full out growled at me. I just stood there with my hands on my hips, daring him to actually do something. "Make you feel like a man, does it?" I asked sweetly.

"I swear to all that is Holy," he hissed.

I sighed knowing that as much fun as it was to anger him, I was just too damn tried to keep it up. "Look, I'm going to go in the shower and then I'm going to go to bed. Please just go home," I told him as I walked away from him.

I spent twenty minutes standing under the warm water and letting it relax me. Showers had always helped me feel better, especially whenever I was feeling crappy.

After stepping out of the shower I thought to hell with moisturizing and blow drying and just pulled on my flannel bottoms and sweat shirt. It was in my bedroom that I finally realized how Edward had gotten in my home. He had pushed the window up, prying out the nails that I had cut up my hands hammering in.

Rolling my eyes I went downstairs to check the phone and lock up before I crashed for the night. Pulling the towel away from my head, I rubbed the wet strands absently as I headed towards the living room and huffed at who I saw there.

Edward sat on the living room chair, his elbows rested on his knees and for a second I allowed myself to remember the times when I would have been surprised or irritated to find him there. I remembered when I would have come downstairs in my ratty old pajamas and wet hair and would think nothing of running my fingers through his bronze hair and climb into his lap.

Not anymore, I thought and squared my shoulders. "Edward, I told you to go home. I appreciate you wanting to stay, but I don't need you to take care of me."

Edward moved faster than I remembered, in barely the blink of an eye he was standing in front of me, his cold hands cupping my face.

Normally, I would have pulled away, batted his hands off and said something snarky to put space between us, but the look in his eyes stopped me.

They were on fire. So alive and open and showed everything that he was thinking of feeling and I couldn't find it in me to breathe never mind take a shot at him.

"I know you don't need me to take care of you, Bella, I learned that out the hard way. But I want to and that's the difference. So sit your ass down and be quiet and just for the night let me take care of you. I promise in the morning everything that can go back to normal. Just, please, let me have this night."

My breath was caught in my lungs. I didn't know how to respond. All I could focus on was the fact that Edward had said 'ass' which didn't suit his personality.

Uncomfortable with the look in his eyes and the intense little moment we were sharing, I pouted and pulled away. "Don't tell me to sit my ass down... jackass," I hissed as I stomped off into the living room to put some space between us. I needed that space to get my wits together.

_Keep it together girl_, I told myself.

I heard pots and pans clattering around in the kitchen and smiled at the memory of how long it had taken him to learn to cook for me. Edward didn't have the same sense of taste when it came to human food and I'd gotten to see something that Edward Cullen wasn't perfect at. After a couple of days as using as his 'pallet' he had become a very skilled person in the kitchen.

"Why don't you turn that television show back on? Charlie left a message while you were in the shower. He was obviously in distress but he's setting out now and say's that he'll be back by the time you wake up in the morning. He's very worried."

I frowned. I didn't want my dad to worry about me. He must feel so helpless at the moment.

Before I could say anything Edward continued, "He said that Angela had been giving him a run down on what happens and he can't wait to see you. Don't worry," he added with a soft smile as he popped his head around the doorway.

I nodded slightly and got up to put the DVD back on. Anything to take my mind off the man cooking my kitchen.

I didn't know what to do, how to act. I had gotten used to holding Edward at arm's length and now he was cooking in the kitchen and preparing to watch Ghost Whisperer with me. What should I do?

The part of me that had kept me sane over the months, the cynical, Edward hating side of me was strangely quiet tonight. The other side of me, the side that melted around him and wanted nothing more than to be in his arms was _loud_.

The crazy bitch was a glutton for punishment.

_Would it be so bad?_ She whispered in my mind. _What harm would it do if just for one night you put aside all your anger and hurt and let him take care of you?_

A lot, I wanted to scream at her. Edward had way too much power over me. How could I forget what he did to me, even for one night?

_Not forget_, she replied. _Just a ceasefire for one night. You know this is what you want. It's the reason why he's still here when you sent your best friends away. No matter what has happened, if only for tonight, it's him you want with you._

I dropped back onto the sofa and fought back tears. I didn't know whether it was because I was tired and vulnerable, but the crazy voice in my head was right.

If only for tonight it was him I wanted. And wasn't that what he had promised me? Only one night and tomorrow we could go back to normal. What was the harm in one night?

Edward came back in holding a tray and the contents made me smile.

The first time I had gotten sick around Edward, he had asked what my comfort food is and frowned when I had told him I liked popovers covered in mint sauce and cherry soda and that's what Edward placed in front of me.

As I ate and Edward sat by me in a comfortable silence until I had finished and he insisted on taking everything away.

I hadn't realised that I had fallen to sleep until I woke up to find my cheek pressed to Edwards's chest. When I looked up at him with a sleepy frown he had smiled down at me.

"This was you're doing, not mine."

Without answering I fell back to sleep, once again comfortable in his embrace. It was he next morning that I awoke in my bedroom and reached out my arm for him that I found that the space next to me was empty.

There was no cold spot from where he might have been. I wasn't wrapped up in his cold embrace with his sweet scent filling my senses.

He was gone.

**A/N** Okay, so what is your take on what happened and how Edward's leaving will affect Bella?


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N** I know, I know. Two chapters in one night, I am made of awesome! Okay, so a lot of you are finally warming back up to our ice cold hottie, but some have wondered how it would affect Bella.

So let me tell you something now, some will like and some will hate and some will call me a crazy ass bitch! Either way I love reviews. You would have gotten earlier but I got sidetracked with Supernatural funny videos on YouTube.

Enjoy!

**BPOV**

He was gone. Just gone like all months ago. When I had closed my eyes his arms had been around me and for the first time I had let myself fall. I had let myself bring down some of the walls.

I was so stupid.

I had woken up expecting for him to be lying there, a small smile on his face as he brushed my hair back from my face and wished me a good morning.

But he wasn't here and I felt like such an idiot for letting myself think he would be. I knew, on some level that he wouldn't be here when I opened my eyes; he had promised that when I woke up everything would go back to normal, but dammit... A part of me wanted him to be there. So much.

I sat up, looking out at the cloudy sky and knew that I should get ready for school. That I should paste that smile back on my face and pretend everything was perfect, but I was still open from the night before.

And I was angry. Not at him this time, but at myself for wanting him. I had no one to blame for the pain I felt right now but myself. I had wanted him to stay. It had been me who had gone back to sleep in his arms because dammit I wanted his arms around me again.

_I couldn't do this_, I thought as I pushed to my feet. I couldn't let myself feel this pain, not again. I couldn't let myself feel the love that I had been shoving down for over six months.

I had to get back to the place where I was safe and I didn't care if that made me a coward. I wasn't ready to give everything I had to him. I couldn't.

"I can't," I muttered over and over again. I couldn't let myself go back there. Look at how I had reacted at just the thought of him not being here this morning!

I had felt pain, heart wrenching pain just because he wasn't here when I didn't wake up?

No! I wouldn't go there again.

I made myself forget the look in his eyes last night and remember what it had been like that day in the woods when he had torn me in half.

_His gaze seemed glued into the trees behind me as he spoke. "Bella, we have to leave Forks."_

We have to leave. Words that I had always feared. Edward leaving. Leaving me behind because I wasn't bright or pretty or special. And he had left.

_"As long as it was what was best for you," he pointed out._

Best for me? Who decided that? Who got to decide what was best for me? It wasn't him. We were meant to be partners. We were meant to talk and communicate and he was supposed to talk to me!

But he didn't, did he? He didn't talk to me. He made such a big fucking decision without me.

_"This isn't about your soul, Bella," he said forcefully and I flinched. How could a voice that was so harsh still sound like velvet?_

_"I just don't want you to come," he gritted out._

He didn't want me. My world had crumbled. Everything I wanted and loved and thought I knew... it was nothing to him. He just walked away without a second glance.

He destroyed me and in the name of protecting me. That wasn't his call.

He had taken my future. The one I wanted, the one I craved so badly. He had taken Alice and Esme and he had left me all alone.

He had stood there and looked at me like I was nothing and I had believed it. He had made me feel like I was nothing.

_"You don't want me?" I asked, speaking the question aloud and ruling it out already as stupid, Edward loved me._

How idiotic was that? To stand there and tremble at thought of him not loving me the way I did him.

Of course Edward loves me, right? He had stood there in that meadow surrounded by beauty and love and everything that I held dear and told me he loved me in his own words. I had sat there and put my life in his hands in that meadow and he had said that I was his life. That his sick and masochistic lion and fell in love with the stupid lamb.

_"No," he replied coolly, firmly and whatever confidence I had, whatever hope I had, left._

* * *

I ran down the stairs like a woman on a mission. I had to do this. I had to break away from him and the power he had over me.

"Bella?" my dad called out from the kitchen table.

Even though I was irritated at the delay, I turned to my dad with a bright smile and launched myself into his arms.

"Hi! Did you have fun? Did you bring me back the Loch Ness monster?" I teased.

"Are you okay? Do you feel okay? What happened?" he shot off question after question, completely ignoring the fact that I looked fine and probably in better condition than him.

I laughed as he dropped me back to my feet. "I am fine. I passed out, I got sent to the hospital for no reason and Angela nearly ripped the doctor a new one when he called a simple faint without having any other tests done. He told me to come back if I passed out again or felt dizzy. Which I haven't," I rushed to tell him before he could ask.

"I am going to take the day off school, and work and relax. But first, I have to pop out for a while," I added.

"What? Why?" he growled. "You can get back upstairs, Bella. If you've fainted that means you're sick. I'm going down to La Push to visit with Billy for a couple of hours... he's worried about Jacob and wants to talk, but I want you in bed and resting."

I smiled up at him. "I will. I just have to run out and then I promise I will march my butt up those stairs and rest for the rest of the day."

"Bella," he warned.

"Got to go. Have fun at Billy's!" With that I ran out of the kitchen, pausing only to grab what I needed from the hall closet.

* * *

It didn't take long to drive to the dirt road that I had once driven along with such care and trepidation while Edward had grinned from the seat beside me.

Bastard.

As I pulled up I grabbed my IPod and the bag that I had taken out from in the closet where my dad kept all his tool and stuff.

Popping in my ear buds, I started the long hike that I had once dreaded with every step I took. Now I walked with confidence and determination.

I needed to do this. Maybe it wasn't the right thing, but it was the only thing I could think to do. The only thing I could see working.

All the way I listened to the angriest and saddest songs I had, all written with pain and fury in mind and it gave me the energy to walk my ass there faster than before.

It should have shocked me that I remembered the path to the place I had once loved and thought special. Now I knew it for what it was. A place where I had been lied to.

The meadow was as beautiful as ever, I thought when I finally got there. It was how it had been all those months ago.

I could see it now. How Edward had sat there and I had fallen harder than before, though I had thought that impossible.

He had sat there and said... he had said so much that had meant more than anything ever had before.

How could he do that? I thought. How could he leave after everything I had risked for him? I had nearly died and still I had loved him. I had fought for us.

"So why can't he?" I burst out angrily. "Why can't he fight for me?"

No, he had thought I needed protecting. I had needed saving and could he say to my face? No, because I was the human.

"I was sweet and human and fragile and I had to be protected and lied to!" I thought as I dragged the axe from inside the heavy duty, ugly green bag and held it in a tight group.

"I tried Bella, but I can't do it anymore," I quoted Edward as I swung the axe with all my strength, sending the steel blade into a branch, cutting right through and destroying it.

"I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be," I hissed as I swung again, this time taking off another branch from another tree, before moving onto the bushes that helped form the perfect circle of the meadow.

_Stop_, part of me screamed. _You're destroying it_.

But that was the point. I wanted to destroy this. The place where I had given him the soul he worried so much about and he had destroyed us so I would destroy this.

"It wasn't for nothing, Bella. I would do anything to protect you. Even if it means hurting myself," I gritted out as I took out a patch of pretty purple flowers.

"You didn't just hurt yourself though, did you?" I shouted. "You hurt me. You _broke_ me."

"You mean everything. You always have." I huffed as I continued with my carnage. In my mission of destroying the very symbol of us.

"How can I mean anything when you are always so willing to walk away from me?" I demanded.

I felt the fury build and build in my chest and as it rose I used more and more of my strength to ruin the place that had once been our sanctuary. The place where Edward had showed me every aspect of himself.

I remembered how at ease he had been on the drive home, holding my hand and singing along to the radio and I swung the axe and totaled a small tree. Not like he once had, but it was still pretty impressive.

"I can't live with and I'm tired of trying to stay away from you," I sneered. "Then why do you always have to try? Don't you know what it does to me? Of course you do. Your sisters a psychic and your brother an empath!"

"I know, but I wasn't strong enough to leave you. Not then," I quoted his part of our conversation about his plans to leave me one day.

"Which means you always meant to leave me. From the very beginning when I sat there and gave you everything I had, you were already planning to leave me. And what's to stop you from doing it again?"

"You said some pretty harsh thing's yourself that day," all but snarled as I demolished a bunch of daises. "What was I meant to do? Beg? I already had!"

"But no," I ranted as I shoved my hair out of my face. "My protection had to come first, didn't it? You had to lie because I'm too young to understand," I said as I hacked into a tree. "I'm too sweet and kind and fragile," I hacked in deeper. "I can't be trusted to make any decisions about my life and my future," I swung again. "I'm too innocent and naive to ever understand what I would be giving up. My mom. My dad. Children. I knew it, Edward; I just thought you were worth it!" I screamed as I finally threw the axe to the ground and stood there, taking in the damage that I'd done.

The meadow was a mess. Just like me and just like my relationship with Edward. It was fitting really.

"I'll never make that mistake again, though. You're not worth it."

And with that, I picked up my axe, my bag and turned off Bethany Joy Lenz's _Halo_ and made my way down to the truck. Turning my back on the mess Id made, just like he had.

* * *

I walked into my bedroom and looked around at the mess I had made earlier as I had searched for sturdier clothes. I had trashed the place, I thought numbly.

As I had walked home, all my energy from earlier had drained and I just felt numb once again.

Gathering up some clothes, I dumped then in my hamper and pressed play on my Kate Voegele album. Pressing repeat on _Wish You Were._

It was as I cleaned around that I found myself moving over to once again trace my fingers over the funny looking nails that had probably destroyed the frame.

I turned my back to the window and closed my eyes. How had everything gotten so bad? I had thought my walls were strong and would hold firm, but as soon as I let him in it was like they crumbled and everything I hid away had come crashing in.

Speaking of things that I had hidden, I thought as I made my way to my closet. I opened the doors and dug inside, right at the back where a pale blue shirt hung, hidden away from anyone who might see it.

No one knew I had it, not even Jessica or Angela. I don't think even Edward knew since he hadn't taken it with him like he had my other things.

I had been at the Cullen's, Edward and the guys had gone hunting and Alice had dragged me out shopping and then back to hers for a fashion show of sorts.

I had spilled my drink and was completely soaked. Alice had offered me something of Esme's but I had felt comfortable in just taking her things and Rosalie would throw a fit so I had taken one of Edwards shirts.

I had meant to give it back to him, but I had never gotten around to it. I had found it in the hamper a week after he had left me and instead of throwing it away, mailing it back to the Cullen's house, I had taken it upstairs, hung it and put it deep into the back of my closet.

It was strange how much a shirt could signify. That shirt had shown me that he had existed, that there was a point where he had loved me and I could have something of his to hold onto.

I wondered if Alice had kept it from him, knowing how much I would need this shirt that still smelled like him.

Walking over to the window, I pressed my face into the shirt and smelled him.

It was there, that I finally let go for the first time since he had left me. I finally let the tears fall and the sobs take over me as my legs crumbled beneath me.

How could he do this to me? I wanted to sob. Didn't he know how much I loved him? Didn't he know how much it hurt to have him go and so easily at that?

I loved Edward, I had never stopped and I doubted I ever would, but I couldn't see a way to cross the bridge that was between us. And I didn't know if I could trust him to meet me half way.

I had tried to move on, I had tried too hard. Tried to be happy, tried to hate him. And while I had found a version of myself that I liked I have never been as truly as happily as I had pretended to be.

There hadn't been a day when I hadn't wanted him, loved him. There hadn't been a moment when he had been far from my heart.

I had hid behind my anger, I knew that, but I couldn't let him in again. I couldn't let him in and let him ruin even what little I had left.

How many times could a heart break and still be expected to keep beating?

Sobbing, I held the shirt to my chest and cried for the loss of something so special and something so precious.

**APOV**

I gasped as I was taken into the vision of Bella sobbing on her bedroom floor. I knew what she had done, how she had attacked the place she and Edward had shared.

I sat there, by the rived that flowed through the property and wanted to weep for her. She was in such pain, I doubted even she knew how deep her wounds were fully.

Bella had always been so special, so filled with love and all of it was for my brother.

The day I had seen his decision to leave her, I knew it would lead to her pain, to her anger towards us. And we deserved it.

Bella hadn't known how Edward had come home and destroyed everything in sight, much like she had with their meadow. He had been enraged and heartbroken and he was so... lost without her.

She had coped better than he had. He barely fed those first few weeks and we all worried for him. He hadn't spoken, he couldn't bear to be touched and it was like he had died.

The only thing that had gotten any of us through was my vision of him and Bella and their future. It was hazy, but there. Edward and Bella were still destined to come back to each other and that's what I had focused on.

Pressing my fingers against the stinging sensation in my eyes, I thought of how Edward had ordered me to stay away from Bella. To give her the clean break I knew wouldn't work.

It had been the look in his eyes that had me agreeing. I had never seen such pain, such self-hatred and I knew that as much as I wanted to stay with Bella to give her a better life, Edward wanted it more.

I didn't know how I could cope without Jasper. I doubted I would be able to function without him.

I had watched for months as my brother separated himself further and further away from those who loved him. It was like he couldn't stand it.

Finally I'd had enough. His and Bella's future was all that mattered so he would have to get over it. I knew that if I made the decision to show him the videos I had secretly been watching then Edward would finally cave in his moronic mission to save Bella and go home.

Oh, I knew it wouldn't be easy. Bella was filled with anger and resentment and buried beneath all of it was pain.

I had tried to push them together as often as possible; knowing that while it would damage my cause to get my friend back, it would help Edward's to get the woman he loved back.

Last night, well even I couldn't have seen that coming. A freak human complication had helped Bella finally let him in and it had been too soon for her. It had been too much to know just how much Edward still meant to her. She had obviously thought she could control it.

She hadn't been in school today and I knew Edward was freaking, but I had reminded him that her dad would have made her stay home after yesterday. I hadn't been able to tell him the truth.

"Bella," I breathed as I let the blades of grass I had been playing with blow into the stream of water and float away.

I wanted her back almost as much as Edward did but while I knew that one day it would happen, I didn't know the steps between.

"Alice?" Jasper appeared beside me. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what to do, Jazz," I admitted. "How can that be possible? I see the future, I should know. And yet I don't know how to help her heal."

Jasper leaned in to kiss my hair. "Sometimes, my love, you have to let them sort things out for themselves. Even if it is against your nature," he teased.

"I feel responsible, though. Maybe if I had told her what he was really doing, maybe I could have changed this."

Jasper looked into my eyes. "You told me yourself there was no way Edward's mind was set. You couldn't have changed his mind. He knew your visions, he saw them in your mind, and he just didn't want to accept them. You have to let them be for a while, Alice."

I nodded my head sadly. "I know. It's just hard to watch the people you love live in pain."

"Alice, you're blocking me," Edward growled as he came to stand in front of us.

I kept my mind blank. Bella had asked me one thing and that was to shield what I knew of her future away from Edward. While I knew that Charlie had called to say he would be home soon and Bella had composed herself, I knew she wouldn't want Edward seeing her so upset.

Edward had arrived home this morning sad, yet hopeful. He had spent the night holding Bella in his arms and finally have her hold him back. It had hurt him to leave this morning, but he had kept his word to her. He just didn't know the consequences last night would have on them.

"Tell me," he growled.

Jasper and I stood, the man I loved placing his body protectively in front of mine despite him knowing that it would take a lot for Edward to out maneuver me.

"I can't," I gritted out.

"If it's about Bella, then tell me," he roared.

Just like on the day he had saved Bella's life, altering her future for all eternity, at the mention of her name I hadn't been able to fully hide my vision away from Edward.

If it were possible for a vampire to pale, he would have. As it was pain darkened his eyes and sorrow filled him.

"No," he breathed as he most likely realised the extent of what his actions had caused all those months ago. "Bella."

"She's hurting, Edward," I whispered as I tried to block it off.

"No," he snapped. "I need to know what I've done. This is my fault. I did this."

Hearing the need in his voice, I let the vision of Bella taking an axe to the meadow fill my mind. I let the shirt that I had given her by fluke fill my mind and how I had remembered that she had it and that she'd need it.

I let him see Bella sobbing on the floor looking lost and broken and I felt Jasper grunt at the force of our pain.

"I have to go to her," he whispered.

"She doesn't want you there, Edward," Jasper pointed out.

"I don't care," he growled. "I won't leave her alone. Not ever again."

**BPOV**

After my dad had called to tell me that he would be home within the hour, I had decided that maybe the sight of his daughter sobbing on her bedroom floor may upset him just a wee bit.

So, I had turned off my depressing music, hid the shirt away where is belonged and then soaked my face in ice cold water.

It was as I carted my hamper down the stairs that the doorbell rang.

I frowned, knowing that Jessica was covering my shift and Angela had a date with Ben tonight. The only other person that came to my house was my dad, I guessed.

Dumping the hamper at the bottom of the stairs, I rushed over to yank the door open.

My heart thudded painfully when I saw it was Edward on the other side of the door. His expression was one of pure agony until he took a breath to speak and froze.

Brushing past me, he headed up stairs. I didn't even have a chance to ask him what the hell he was doing before he was rushing back down, not bothering to hide his vampire speed.

He stopped at the hamper and began digging through my dirty clothes.

"Have you finally snapped your cap?" I demanded as I pushed his hands away before he reached underwear territory and that was just plain weird.

"Get your jacket," he ordered as he picked up a pen and scribbled a note to my dad in my hand writing. It stated that I was hanging out with some friends and would be home later.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a frown.

He turned icy eyes on me. "Get your jacket, Isabella and go wait in the car."

"No," I refused angrily.

Edward stormed up to me, invading my personal bubble to glare down at me. "You can leave willingly or I can toss you over my shoulder and drag you out, it's your choice, but's it's happening in the next two seconds."

"That's doesn't sound like a choice, it sounds like a threat."

He leaned in closer. "It was."

Before I knew what was happening, Edward was yet again throwing me over his shoulder, only pausing to grab my jacket off the peg before slamming the door shut with enough force that it made me wonder how it didn't shatter.

I kicked, I yelled and I called him every bastard under the sun, but Edward didn't pause until he had me safely strapped in the car and was around my side within half a second.

"What is wrong with you, you son of a bitch?" I snarled.

As he flew around the corner, he turned to offer me a dark look. "What is wrong with me is that there was someone in your house."

That made my heart pound. Who had been in my house? "Then we should have called the cops, not drag me out of my own home."

"The person who had been in your house wasn't human, Bella. It was a vampire."

**A/N** So, what do you think? Okay, so I am back at work tomorrow so you won't be getting two updates a day *sad face* but I will be working as quickly as I can to get the next chapter out. Please let me know what you thought!


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**Hi guys! I hate work, just putting that out there. I sat on till yesterday and wrote notes about up and coming chapters... Didn't go down too well surprisingly.

Anyway, thank you for all your reviews. I love them!

Now, I don't know how to do this, but I have used some extracts of the book and would like to state no copy right intended, blah blah blah. It just worked with the scene. So if it's against FF rules... My bad!

**BPOV**

"Are you going to give me the silent treatment for the rest of night?" Edward demanded as we pulled up.

I ignored him, instead looking up at the large white house that I thought I would never see again. After he had left I had wanted to come here so badly but I hadn't let myself. I knew that if I came here and it was dark and there was no one inside that it would break my already shattered heart.

Now here I was, but it wasn't dark and I could see the shadows of people moving around inside the large house.

"Rosalie and Emmett have arrived," he murmured and my heart pounded in my chest. I thought it would be bad enough with just Alice and Jasper in the house, now it would be me and the Cullen siblings. Awesome.

Edward snarled beside me. "I get that you're angry, Bella, but what I did was for your own protection. You wouldn't leave the house."

Okay, I could take the silent treatment off for a moment to put him in his place. I turned to him with angry eyes. "No, Edward, you just order me around without telling me why. You seem to do things in the name of my protection and it's always probably the worst way possible. Jasper attacks Bella? Leave town without telling her the real reason why. Random vampire scent in her house? Don't tell her that, but happily growl orders at her and throw her over your shoulder."

I unbuckled my belt and shoved open the car door with force. "Dick move, Edward."

I heard him growl as I stormed off into the house. Before I could blink, he was growling beside me, his eyes unfocussed. I could tell that he was either looking into the minds of his family or searching the area to see if the vampire who was in my house was close by.

I would have shut the door in his face, but the sneaky bastard was too quick for me.

He gave me a smug look as if to say he knew what I was going to do. "Jackass," I muttered as we met his family in the living room.

There they were, the Cullen's. It was strange that I thought of them as separate from me, people who I had once wanted to be my family. Now they I spoke of them as though they were almost an enemy.

It was then that I realised that I was back in their territory and my old life. I remembered the time when we had rushed into the Cullen home, a vampire after me, how we had come here. Something's never changed, I guessed.

Jasper and Alice were seated on the white couch, his hand holding tightly onto hers while he eyes were unfocussed, seeing things that I would never see... Unless it happened of course.

That's when I saw Rosalie in the corner, the blond as lovely as ever. Her golden eyes met mine and for once I didn't cringe away from her cold glare. I didn't give a shit about her anymore. I wasn't about to let her intimidate me the way she once had.

Emmett simply turned to me and grinned with that same charm and I couldn't help but smile back at him. He just looked so calm and relaxed even surrounded by the obvious tension of his siblings.

It was Edward who shocked me when he turned an accusing glare on Alice. "What happened?" he growled angrily.

Immediately Jasper gave him a furious glare that would have made anyone back off, but Edward wasn't intimidated easily.

"I don't know," Alice whispered. Her voice was full of shame as if she blamed herself for what happened today.

"You don't know?" Edward spat. "How is that even possible?"

"Edward," I began, not liking the look of shame and guilt in Alice's eyes. It wasn't her job to protect everyone. Some thing's just happened.

Alice glared up at him. "I know that I messed up, Edward, but I can't see everything all the time. I didn't see."

"Could it be Laurent or Victoria?" Emmett rumbled from his spot in the corner. Rosalie leaned back against him, her golden eyes taking everything in.

Alice shook her head. "Laurent is with Irina and I've been watching for anything from Victoria. I don't know who it is."

"How is that possible?" Edward snapped.

At her flinch, I turned to him with a scowl. "Dude, shut up. Can't you see that she feels bad enough about it as it is? What's done is done and since I am a firm believer in making sure I'm not some vamps next meal, I say we put our heads together and figure it out."

Edward turned to me with a raised eyebrow, while Emmett openly laughed in the background.

"She's feistier than I remembered," Emmett chuckled.

Edward shared a smile with his brother. "Yes, she is. She's also right. I am sorry, Alice. I had no right to speak to you the way I do. Or accuse you of something that was out of your control."

Alice offered him an absent smile. "It's okay. I'm not too happy about this myself."

"So, let's figure it out," I repeated them, taking a seat on the arm of the chair.

Edward offered me a small smile before turning to Jasper and Emmett. "You two go to Bella's and see if you can track the scent. I would have gone before, but it seemed more imperative to get Bella to safety. Even though she was difficult about it," he added pointedly at me.

I huffed. "Maybe if you communicated instead of going all He-Man on my ass," I drawled.

"We'll be back soon," Emmett grinned as he got his feet. He paused beside me and ruffled my hair. "It's good to have you back, Bella."

I swatted his hand away. "Stop it. And I'm not back," I snapped.

Emmett simply laughed and rushed out of the house. Jasper was a blur behind him.

Edward turned to his sisters. "I think it's safe to say that Bella isn't left alone in the house."

"Wait? What?" I demanded. "That's not going to work for me."

Edward scowled at me. "Bella think," he snapped. "If you are in that house and whoever it is decides to come back you don't have a chance in hell. I know you don't want me there, but for your safety you'll just have to deal with it."

I jumped to my feet and thrust my hands on my hips and glared up at him, preparing to rip him a new one.

Alice got between us. "Please, Bella, ignore the overprotective boar over here and listen to reason. I know you don't like the idea of us being in your life any more than we already are, but he has a point. The vampire went into your home and has not only your scent, but Charlie's. Wouldn't you rather one of us be there just in case?"

I wanted, even needed, to argue with her but I couldn't. She was right. If the vampire did come back and this time with the intention of killing me, I would be dead within seconds. Edward had once shown me that you couldn't fight off a vampire, you couldn't out run them.

"Fine," I relented. "But not in my room," I added firmly.

Alice nodded her head and gave Edward a look that told him to shut up and take what I was offering them. "It will be harder for whoever it was to go unnoticed by me now."

"What about my dad?" I demanded. "Edward got me out of there, but what about him?"

Alice placed a soothing hand on my shoulder. "Charlie will be perfectly safe. I told Jasper to stay with him until one of us can take over. From now on your house doesn't go unwatched. If you or your dad on inside, one of us will be outside," she smiled.

"Another protection detail for Bella?" Rosalie drawled. I could hear the bite in her voice and it just pissed me off.

Uncaring that the blond could snap my neck like a tooth pick, I turned to her with a glare. "Do you think I really care if you're pissed off about having to protect me? Who has more to lose here, Rosalie? The group of immortal vampires or two humans?"

I took a step towards her. "If you want to stand there and scoff and be pissed off because yet another vampire is after me? Fine. But look at it this way, Rosalie. I didn't have a single incident, a single dangerous moment for seven months. Not until you returned to Forks."

I wanted to take back my words as soon as I'd said them knowing in way I was proving Edward's point. I hadn't been in danger when he'd left. He'd see his leaving as being the right course of action. I didn't. He wouldn't see it like I did; we were too different when it came to that.

"I don't care if you don't like me. I don't care if you want to roll your eyes and glare at me, because you might not like me, but I don't like you. You're selfish and self-centered and you talk to not only your mate, but your family like shit most days. So quit being a bitch and get on board or get out of my way."

Rosalie smirked at me. "It looks as if meek little Bella finally grew some back bone. It's about time," she added approvingly.

I shook my head condescendingly at her. "We don't need to do this. So I've gained some points with you. Big deal. I don't like you, Rosalie and I don't respect you and I personally couldn't give a rat's ass what you think of me."

I turned to Edward and Alice. "You two can talk game plans all you like, I need some air."

"Don't go outside," Edward ordered before giving me an apologetic smile. "Please."

Well at least he was learning. Honey and vinegar and all that. With a nod, I left the room and made my way upstairs into the one room in the house where I had always felt comfortable.

I smiled as I looked around the dark room that I had spent so much time in. While I had always enjoyed my time at the Cullen's house, Rosalie would either make a point to be there and ignore us or to stay away from the house all together. It had made me feel terrible to push her out of her own home and so I had always been on edge, no matter the amount of times Edward had told me not to be silly.

It was this room where we would come so I could feel comfortable when she was here. Edward and I, and sometimes Alice or Emmett, would come in here and talk and laugh. We'd listen to music for hours or watch the television Edward had brought after a while when he realised how much I loved old movies.

Stroking my fingers across the leather sofa, I remembered the first time I came in this room.

It had been the day after Edward and taken me to the meadow and showed me who he truly was and our relationship had become something more.

He had told me the story of Carlisle and even a little about his past and what obviously he thought would make me afraid. Even had hoped it...

_"You're still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?" I guessed._

_A faint smile touched his lips, and he nodded._

_"I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually," I lied._

_He stopped, raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then he flashed a wide, wicked smile._

_"You _really _shouldn't have said that," he chuckled._

I laughed softly at the memory. I remembered how he had charged at me and I hadn't been afraid of him. Too much had happened for that. I had been excited though and I had felt so much in love with him.

Walking over to the rows and rows of music, I remembered when I had looked up at saw them all and been amazed.

_"How do you have these organized?" I asked, unable to find any rhyme or reason to the titles._

_He wasn't paying attention._

_"Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame," he said absently._

_I turned, and he was looking at me with a peculiar expression in his eyes._

_"What?"_

_"I was prepared to feel... relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I _like_ it. It makes me... happy." He shrugged, smiling slightly. _

It had been such a relief, too. I had known everything and I had loved him still. More even than I had before.

Before Edward had been handsome, beautiful, and smart and special and even a little dangerous. Then after I found out his secret he had seemed magical, like something out of legends.

When I had truly known of his struggles and everything he had overcome, he had gained my respect like no one ever had.

His human life had been short, his family taken away from him by illness. He had then been thrown into a life he didn't want, but had spent ten years with Carlisle trying to live his way of life.

Edward had spent his time in what he called his 'typical bout of rebellious adolescence' and some would condemn him for that. People who didn't know and who hadn't been informed like I had about vampire's feeding.

Edward had gone his own way and he could have preyed on any one he liked, but he hadn't. He had hunted murderers, rapists, trying to protect the innocents still before realising that it didn't matter. He had said he had begun to see the monster in his eyes and had come home.

Then he had met me, the one he thought of his own personal demon sent to destroy him, I thought with a smile. Had he gave in? No. He had saved me.

To see his smile that day when he had told me that my knowing the truth made him happy, there was no feeling like it.

To be the one who made him happy...

"Hasn't changed much, has it?"

My heart stopped at the sound of the soft voice from behind me. I turned around to see the figure standing in the backlit doorway.

Her hair was still the soft caramel that I remembered, her eyes the color of honey and her smile so warm and so loving that it was no wonder why she had helped make a house full of vampires into a family.

She stood there wish a hesitant smile, like she wasn't certain of her welcome, much like Jasper once had.

My eyes filled with tears and a smile touched my lips.

"Esme," I whispered before launching myself into her arms.

I saw her bright smile seconds before we embraced and she held me as tightly as she could, all the while aware that she could break me if she chose.

"I have missed you, Bella," she whispered into my hair.

For a moment I simply stood there and clung to her. To the woman who I had thought would someday become a second mother to me. Someone to help me with the loss of my own.

"When did you get here?" I asked.

"Not long ago. Half the town think's we've been hiding up in this big old house, so Carlisle and I thought it was time we show our faces."

"Carlisle? Is he here?" I demanded as I pulled back.

She shook her head with a smile. "No, he's at the hospital. Alice called as soon as she realised that someone had been in your home. He's on the night shift tonight. He's eager to see you again, though."

I nodded. "I am, too."

Esme brushed my hair from my face, so much like Renee had always done with me. "So, the others have been plotting ways to keep you and Charlie protected while you were up here. Why don't you come down and hear them?"

I bit my lip. I shouldn't have left them to it, I know, but it was hard being back in this house, around these people who I still loved.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

She placed a kiss on my head. "I know it must be hard. I know you're still very confused." Her voice became absent, like she was thinking of something else as she opened Edward's expensive CD player and slipped the shiny disk into a plastic case. "Hopefully, we'll able to help you," she added with a smile as she handed the disc to me.

I narrowed my eyes to see the writing through the darkness and blinked when I saw the title. 'Bella'.

Esme nodded and then gestured for me to place it in my pocket where I could hide it.

As Esme and I made out way down the stairs to rejoin the family, my cell phone beeped and I absently reached back to get it. My mind was still on the CD. Was it _my _CD? The one Edward had made for me and then taken away?

I read my text with a smile.

_B- _Whitney_ night at mine? It'll make you feel better. Don't say no. -J._

As I walked into the living room, Alice smiled up at me. "I don't see anything happening to Charlie while you're gone tonight. Either way one of us will keep watch outside."

I blinked, warmed by the lengths they were going. "Thank you."

Alice nodded, looking as if she wanted to say more. Before she could Emmett flitted back into the living room.

I saw Edward's jaw tighten even as his shoulders dropped in disappointment.

"We lost his scent abruptly. He must have driven away. I'm sorry," Emmett added with a small smile for me.

I nodded, worried about my dad and my friends... and the Cullen's.

"I'll stand guard while you're with the girls tonight," Edward told me. "I'll keep him safe, Bella. I promise.

Not know what to say or how to react, I nodded and kept quiet while they talked. Over the months, I'd like to think that I had matured in some areas. One those areas being when it came to safety, I now knew that the group of vampire's could keep safer than I ever could alone.

I wasn't going to fight them on anything, not when it came to this.

It was decided once again, that I wouldn't go anywhere alone until we knew exactly who was behind my visitor. If I drove to school, one of the Cullen's would follow. If I went to work, one of the Cullen's would follow.

When I slept at night, one of the Cullen's would be outside my house keeping vigil.

It was a lot to take in. I had been without them for so long, I didn't know how I felt about them being around all the time apart from grateful. They were more than happy to play my guard dog in order to keep me safe. I wasn't about to throw that back in their faces.

It was Edward who dropped me off, the silence between us slightly uncomfortable. As we pulled up outside, I turned to him.

"Thank you. For everything you're doing."

Edward offered me a small smile in the darkness. "You're welcome. Have fun tonight," he added. "Don't worry about Charlie, who is sleeping at the moment. I'll keep him safe."

I sighed. "Edward-" I broke off, unsure what I wanted to say. I didn't know how to thank him for doing this for me. I had destroyed the very symbol of our love just this morning and here he was about to spend the night keeping watch over my dad. Just in case Alice's vision was wrong.

"I know," he whispered.

Silence descended between us again and I couldn't take it. Nodding my head, I jumped out of the car and ran through the darkness into my house.

* * *

"Dad, wake up?" I whispered as I poked him in the shoulder. "You know, you're going to get a bad back if you keep sleeping on this couch," I laughed.

My dad offered me a sleepy smile. "You had a nice time, honey?"

I flinched. "Yeah, I did. It's actually turning into a chick night. Is that okay?"

He nodded his head. "Sure thing, Bella. You have a nice time."

Narrowing my eyes, I realised that he was just giving me whatever answer I wanted.

"Daddy?" I said in a sickly sweet voice.

"Yeah Bells?"

"Can I have a new car?" I smiled.

My dad laughed at me and answered without opening his eyes. "Not a chance in hell."

I poked him in the side. "It was worth a shot, I guess."

Running up the stairs to my bedroom, I threw my overnight bag, tossing my season of Whitney in. Jessica often asked if I wanted DVD nights, only I had to supply to DVD's since her collection consisted of _Dirty Dancing_, every Nicholas Sparks' adaptation made and _Mamma Mia._

I frowned as I tugged the CD out of my back pocket. More than anything I wanted to listen to it, to find out whether or not this was mine, but I couldn't. Edward was outside, watching somewhere in the darkness.

Shoving the CD under my pillow case, I rushed out my room and quickly out the door. Even as I drove down the street I swore I could feel golden eyes watching me.

Keeping me safe.

* * *

"I love this show!" Angela laughed as we watched Whitney and Alex meet for the first time.

It had been two hours of mudpacks, at home manicures and eating as much junk food as we could sneak past Jessica's mom who was on yet another clean eating bender. Some people were just plain weird...

"I can't believe it was cancelled. Bastards," Jessica added as she bit into cookie.

"True that," I muttered as the end credits came on.

"Where's the remote?" I asked with a frown.

Jessica shrugged, while Angela rolled onto her back to stare up at the ceiling. "I have no idea, but I'm not moving. I tried to have sex with Ben," she added absently.

"What?" Jessica and I demanded in unison. "We've been watching _Whitney_ and you've been getting down and dirty with comic boy?" Jessica asked in disbelief.

Angela let out a lazy laugh. "I said I tried to have sex with Ben... didn't go so well."

I exchanged a grimace with Jessica. "What happened?"

She rolled her eyes. "He was just so damn worried about my dad finding out. It kind of ruined the mood, you know? He started sweating and freaking out about God knowing. In the end I told him to go home. My dad's a preacher, not me."

"Have you tried telling him that?" I asked quietly.

Angela shrugged. "I've tried, but he freaks out. I think I'm the only girl on the planet with a boyfriend who is scared of having sex with me," she laughed. "I feel like I'm some sort of sexual harasser."

"You do," Jessica agreed making us all laugh.

"Ah well," she sighed. "I think I'm destined to die a virgin."

Jessica laughed. "I wish I had waited. My first time was with that dickless prick Mike. I wish I would have waited for Jack," she added softly.

Angela gagged. "You're so sweet right now you're making me sick."

"Be nice," I chided her. "Have you and Jack...?" I trailed off.

She shook her head. "We want too, though. I know, I just know that he's the one for me. We have time."

Angela gagged again. "Great, they're choosing to wait and my boyfriend is too damn scared to. How about you, Bella? Did you and Edward ever dance in the sheets?" she teased.

I threw my head back and laughed. "I was in your boat, Angela."

Jessica blinked. "Are you telling me that you never had sex with Edward? Ever?"

I rolled my eyes. "That's what I'm telling you. I would have, though," I added mischievously. "Unfortunately, or fortunately from how you look at it, Edward wanted to wait for marriage. I just thought that it would be me," I laughed.

"Edward Cullen is a virgin," Jessica breathed. "You learn something new every day."

"What was it like? Being with Edward Cullen?" Angela asked quietly.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the bed frame. They had asked me this many times before and I had given them a basic answer. This time I told the truth. "It was... intense. I start school in a new town that I hate and I want nothing more than to go home to where I'm comfortable and happy. And then this guy glares at me and I'm hooked, "I laughed.

"I remember you worrying that he didn't like you," Jessica murmured.

I grinned at her. "You didn't like me much at the time either."

"True. Tis very true," she laughed.

"Bitch. Anyway, so he hated me and then he came back and it was like something just clicked in me when we spoke. When I sat down next to him and looked into his eyes. It felt like coming home," I added in a whisper.

The girls looked at me with dreamy expressions on their faces and I knew they were each thinking of the own men in their lives. Not the one that had willingly left mine.

"And we all know how that turned out," I added brightly and made them laugh as I hoped I would.

"Come on," I said as I got to my feet. "All this sex talk is getting me hot under the collar. Let's watch a movie."

"Oh, _The Full Monty!"_

**A/N** So what did you think? Also while doing spell check I just added the word 'dickless' to my dictionary. That's how I roll. Why The Full Monty? Because that's the movie I'm watching!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N** Hi guys... I truly hate work. Still. Anyway, a lot is about to happen in this next chapter and I hope you like it.

Okay, I'm not going to bore you with the Jasper background story. We all know it. We all know about Maria and his story and as much as I love it... it's pretty pointless and I always find it really boring when you read something you've read a thousand times... again!

Please review.

**BPOV**

Sorting through laundry was one of the life's dullest things in my opinion. Just sorting items into colors, darks and whites over and over. My dad always got out of it by saying he was worried about ruining my clothes, but I knew it was just a cover.

I had come home this morning to find him still sprawled out on the sofa and had forced him to go to bed. He had groaned about his back as I'd pushed him towards the stairs, but he had no one but himself to blame.

I did feel bad for him. He had come home early because he was worried about me. He hadn't slept because he was traveling and then he's gone to Billy's. He deserved the rest of the day in bed. Which was exactly what I had told him to do.

I glanced at the clock. Nearly time...

_As I pulled up early this morning, I had spotted Edward in the edge of the forest and had discreetly made my way over to him._

_Anyone else who'd spent the night in the woods would have looked dishelved, tired... unattractive in some way. Edward looked like he'd spent the night on a cloud. It wasn't fair._

_"How was everything last night?" I asked uncomfortably when I reached him._

_He offered me a smile that didn't do his real smile justice. "Quiet, but that's a good thing. I need to go hunting today, but Jasper will be coming in an hour to take my place."_

_I nodded my head. "Okay."_

_What was wrong with me? Before I had been hurt, angry, and resentful. Now I was just plain confused and unsure around him and it was driving me insane._

_I didn't want to face the fact that it slightly, only slightly, melted my heart that he had stayed here all night. That he had personally seen to my dad's safety. But it did. Slightly._

_"If you need me for anything, just call me and I'll come right back." he said breaking the uncomfortable silence that all but made my skin crawl._

_I smiled, shaking my head. "You don't have to do that."_

_"Bella," he said._

_I wanted to roll my eyes at his tone. I guessed he had a line._

_"Fine, give me your number," I ordered as I dug out my cell phone._

_"It's the same one I've always had," he murmured._

_My eyes snapped to meet his. "Your numbers always has been the same?"_

_He looked like he wanted to flinch at my sharp tone. "Yes."_

_"Unbelievable," I muttered. "Tell me then," I snapped. "I'm not a pyscho, nor do I have a photographic memory like yours. I forgot it."_

_As he rambled off the number, I wanted to punch him and I knew it was unfair... In a way. After I had come out of my numb stage Jessica had told me to delete his number. I would always be tempted to call him, text him, leave messages and give me the opportunity to make a fool of myself._

_I hadn't wanted to lose any more of my dignity than I already had, so I had deleted the number. I had secretly been relieved. Now if I did call him, I wouldn't have to face the fact that he'd changed it so I couldn't call him._

_Now it turns out I could have._

_"I can see that you're annoyed," he tried._

_I smiled up at him. "Nope. I'm fine. Freakin' ecstatic. Why didn't you change your number? What if I had call, would you have just ignored me? Tortured me a little bit with listening to the endless ringtone?" I scowled up at him._

_He met my scowl with one of his unknown. "I wouldn't do that. I didn't want to hurt you, Bella. I guess I didn't want to lose what little I had left of you."_

_I continued to scowl for a moment. "Nice save. I'll call if I need you." Which would be never! I wanted to shout at him childishly. "See you later," I said as I left._

As the hour mark passed, I desperately wanted to dive on the CD and press play. While he may know that Esme gave me the CD, I didn't want him to know that! I had my pride.

"Where the hell is my Millie blouse?" I muttered to myself as I started to search for it. I'd been wearing it when I came back from Seattle, so I knew I hadn't left it behind.

It was then that I noticed the time on the alarm clock and realised that while I had been searching for my blouse twenty minutes had passed.

Edward had to be gone by now.

Diving onto my bed, I ripped the CD form under my pillow and rushed to open the lid on my CD player.

"Come on," I whispered as it took its sweet ass time to load.

When it finally came on it showed that there was over twenty songs on the disc. I felt my shoulders slump; it wasn't my CD.

As I sat there, trying to get over my disappointment, I started to become curious about what could be on the CD that would involve me if it wasn't my lullaby.

I pressed play and then blinked in shock as Blake Shelton started crooning '_Who Are You When I'm Not Looking'. _

With a confused frown, I started to skip through the tracks. On there was Alan Jackson, Travis Tritt, Tim McGraw, Eric Church, Lee Brice. Even some of the songs from _Country Strong_ were on there.

I sat back as realization washed over me. The songs on the disc were just some of those of my IPod. Song's Edward would have heard me listening to and even singing along if it was one I truly adored.

Edward hated country music; he would never listen to this music voluntarily... Unless they reminded me him of me.

Lying back, I listened to the CD with tears burning my eyes. Did he sit there at night and listen to this to just feel closer to me?

I felt my heart soar and even though I didn't want it to, love filled every part of me. This was so... touching. To know he had done this, to know that Esme had known and knew I would understand what that meant.

When my cell phone vibrated in my pocket, I actually snarled. I was having a moment here.

"What?" I snapped without looking at the caller ID.

"I know you have a moment, but I had a vision. Bella, I saw your blue blouse," Alice's voice trembled as she spoke to me.

I felt my heart begin to pound painfully. "And?"

Alice paused for a moment as if she didn't know how to speak the words without scaring me. "I saw it being handed around. To vampires. They were after your scent, Bella."

"What does that mean?" I demanded, my voice shaking in fear. Vampires were after my scent?

"It means you're in more danger than ever. Emmett is coming to guard Charlie, I've already called Jasper and he's going to bring you here. It's going to be okay, Bella." Alice promised me.

I hung up the phone, and dialed the number I had sworn only this morning that I would never call. Well, screw pride. I was afraid.

"Bella?" he answered.

"Edward, I need you," I whispered.

* * *

"Here you go, sweetie," Esme said softly as she handed me a drink.

I looked down at the red liquid with a smile. "Cherry soda?"

"It's your favorite," she shrugged as she took a seat next to me and ran a soothing hand down my hair. "It's going to be okay, Bella," she promised.

I nodded my head shakily. I couldn't stop thinking about what Alice had told me and what that meant.

Jasper had waited for me to tell my dad I was spending the day with some friend's, earning myself a glare for waking him up again, and then met him outside by my truck. He had grimaced at that, but I insisted that if my dad realised I wasn't with Angela or Jessica, having my truck with me gave me a lot more leeway to lie about where I was.

He'd also insisted on driving, not understand that my truck just didn't go certain speeds.

"Carlisle is just pulling up the drive and Edward won't be far behind him," Alice said absently from her seat on the couch. Since I had walked in the door she'd just sat there, staring off into the future in an attempt to gain more information.

It didn't look like it was going well.

Carlisle walked through the door and I couldn't help the smile. I had once thought of him of the God Zeus's younger and better looking brother. I wasn't wrong.

Golden hair and golden eyes, with pale flawless skin. A body that was neither skinny nor large, but I knew like all vampires was fit and toned.

"Hi Carlisle," I breathed with a small smile.

He turned to me and his smile was soft and kind, just like his golden eyes. "Bella, how are you?" he asked as he came to offer me a light hug.

I smiled. "Better now."

I felt his laughter, the cold breathe on my neck. Most would be scared to feel a vampire's breath on their neck. Not me, and especially not with Carlisle who'd suffered tremendously in order to get in self-control perfected.

"Edward's here," Alice whispered.

Carlisle quickly moved out the way as Edward flitted into the room, his form appearing kneeling in front of me, his hands cupping my cheek tenderly. Worry filled his darkened eyes and I felt guilty because he'd obviously not spent enough time hunting.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his thumb brushing my cheek.

"No," I admitted. "Edward, what the hell is going on?" I demanded.

* * *

"Have you heard about the killings in Seattle?" Edward asked me with serious eyes.

I nodded. "Of course I have. I didn't really know until a few days, though, when it came on the news. They think the murders recently are gang related."

"They're not gang related, Bella. Someone' creating an army," he murmured.

I frowned up at him in confusion. "An army is killing the people of Seattle?"

"Not exactly," Jasper answered my question. "An army of newborn vampire is killing the people of Seattle."

"Newborn vampires," I breathed. The more they spoke, the harder my heart pounded.

Carlisle spoke next from his seat across from me. "We're never as strong as we are in the first year. It's because our own human blood lingers in the tissues."

"And someone's using that to create an army."

"Why?" I demanded. "You always told me that newborn vampires were... primitive," I finished thinking of no better word for the mindless, blood crazed vampires I had thought them to be.

"They are," Jasper replied. "All you can think of is blood. All you want is blood. What better way for someone who has thought, who has control, to use that blind thirst to gain hunting territory?"

"Then why would they have my scent? Why would they come to Fork's and stop in my house if they were just after hunting grounds?" I demanded.

Alice scowled. "I don't know. I can't see. Whoever it is whose making the decisions... I've never seen them before."

"Awesome." I muttered. "Are you sure?" I demanded. I wanted them to be wrong because if they were right... We were royally screwed. I was royally screwed.

"We've been tracking them for quite some time. We thought that if it was an army that the Volturi would step in. They haven't yet and we don't want them to."

"You knew an army was in Seattle?" I glared up at Edward. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed. "I didn't want you to worry."

I groaned. "Edward, you have got to stop deciding what I need or don't need. Just freakin' tell me."

He growled. "I didn't want to scare you. Besides, you were too busy ignoring me and getting drunken tattoos," he replied.

I blinked. "Oh, burn!" I mocked him.

We stood there glaring at each other for a moment, until I rolled my eyes and looked towards the others.

"Why not get the Volturi involved?" I asked with a frown. Having the 'Royals' of the vampire world whose job was to keep order in their world sorting this mess out sounded like a good idea.

Carlisle turned to me and answered my question. "Aro and I are old friends, remember. He would come here and visit me and with his powers read every thought, every memory, I have ever had. Including those of you and what you know."

I paled. "You mean he would know I knew about vampires and them and most likely kill me?"

Everyone frowned in concern, but nodded their heads. "This just keep's getting better and better," I muttered.

"We won't let it come to that," Jasper said firmly. "If we have to we'll go ourselves."

"But they're coming here!" I argued. "They're coming here and we don't know who they are or when they're coming. The only thing we know is that, for some reason, I'm on their hit list."

I felt my heart pounding harder and harder as my thoughts raced. What would happen if they did come for me and they found my dad? Nothing would stop me them from killing his without hesitation. What about Jessica and Angela and the rest of my friends? They didn't even know about this world.

"Bella, we're going to be extremely careful. Nothing will happen to you or your family," Carlisle promised.

"You don't know that," I snapped as I got up and began to pace. This was too much. I couldn't lose my dad. He couldn't lose me.

I felt my heart begin to slow and a wave of calm transcend over me. I frowned. My body felt calm and soothed while my mind raced.

"Don't do that," I snapped. "Do you know how unnerving it is to feel so panicked in your head but not your body?"

"Jasper," Edward hissed and the feeling of calm left me.

Edward came in front of me and once again cupped my face in his hands, forcing my eyes to meet his. "Bella, baby, you're having a panic attack and you need to breathe. Jasper won't interfere with your emotions anymore, but you _need to breathe_."

Knowing he was right, I concentrated on my breathing. Panicking wasn't going to help anyone, only make more problems for everyone.

Breathing, I looked into Edward's eyes, letting his calm gaze help me to breathe.

Eventually, I felt my heart find a more steady rhythm. Frowning up at him I pointed out. "You never call me baby; you have never called me baby. Ever."

He offered me a cute, sheepish smile. "You seem to like it when all those Southerners say it. I thought it might help you calm."

I smiled at him. "It did."

He took my hand in his. "Come on," he urged me to follow him after sharing a glance with Alice.

Sitting me on the bar stool in the kitchen they never used, Edward stood in front of me and brought my hands up to his chest. It should have unsettled me that I didn't feel a heartbeat, but is strangely made me feel safe.

"Bella, if you do not believe another word I say to you again, believe this; I will not let you or your family be harmed. I'm the only dangerous one in your life," he joked, but his eyes were serious.

"I'm scared, Edward," I told him. "I wasn't this scared when James attacked me. It feels like I can't breathe with it. I just keep thinking about something happening to my dad or my friends because of something I've done." I blinked away tears.

Edward brushed the ones that escaped away with his thumb. "I won't let that happen. I swear that to you."

I looked into his eyes and it struck me as that we'd had this conversation before. I never thought we'd have it again. I never thought that I'd want him to be the one with me when I was scared, but he was.

I shouldn't feel this way, I knew. I should never want him to pull me into his arms and hold me until I felt safe, but I did. Part of me resented it still, but the other part of me was okay with it.

That part of me was pretty damn happy about it.

Holy shit, I thought as I looked into his eyes. I wanted him back. I wanted us back.

When the hell had that happened? Had it been when he had driven me home from Seattle and tucked me into bed? Had it been the moment I heard the tracks on the CD he'd made with me in mind?

Or had it been something quieter? Like how over the past two months he had sat back and watched? Yes, he had messed up in that time. He had annoyed me and made me want to kill him, but he had been there.

He had stayed, silently and vocally telling me that he wasn't going anywhere.

I hadn't even realised that I had started to believe him. Why else would I have been so upset yesterday morning because he wasn't there?

I wanted to groan. I had tried so hard to push him out of my mind and heart and it seemed that keeping Edward Cullen out of both was impossibility.

"What now?" I whispered aloud.

Edward misunderstood my question and frowned. "Now we meet with the Quileute's. I want you to stay here," he added before I could speak. "It's to keep you safe."

"Why would I need to be protected from the Quileute's?" I demanded.

By this point, the Cullen's had joined us in the kitchen. "Because they are wolves," Jasper answered simply. "I could smell it on them a mile away," he added in disgust.

I gaped. "Wolves. As in werewolves? No way!"

"We're vampires," Alice laughed. "Why can't they be wolves?"

I blinked. "Because I know them... I've hung around with them. They're normal. No offense," I added absently.

"Some taken," Rosalie drawled, though her tone didn't have its usual bite.

"What the about the treaty? I thought you weren't to cross their lands? How can you get in contact with them? Did you exchange cell phone numbers?" I half joked.

Carlisle laughed. "No, Bella, we'll head towards the treaty lines. The wolves will know we're on our way and meet us there. They won't chance us crossing onto their territory."

"Do you see the outcome, Alice?" Esme asked.

Alice's face scrunched up into angry frown that was still adorable on her. "No, it seems that when it comes to the mutts I'm blind."

"Mutt's," I mouthed to Edward who simply grinned at me before turning to glare at Jasper.

"No," he growled. "Absolutely not."

"You have to admit it make's sense, Edward," he replied reasonably. "Alice and I smelled it on him when we returned. If I were human I would have gagged. She could help keep the situation calm."

"No."

"Edward," I sighed. "What did we just argue about? Talk to me," I ordered.

He turned to scowl down at me. "Jasper think's that it would be a good idea for you to attend our meeting with the wolves. Which is insane. Wolves are volatile and unpredictable at the best of times. No way will I risk you."

"Why?" I asked Jasper. If Edward was so sure that it would be safer for me to stay away, why would Jasper think it a good idea for me to go?

"Because you know one of them, Bella," Alice told me.

"What? Who? Who is a wolf?" I demanded. Thanks to my dad's friendship with the Black's I knew most of the people who lived on the reservation. Anyone of them could be a wolf.

Edward met my eyes.

"Jacob Black."

I felt my jaw drop. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

"Bella," Esme snapped.

* * *

Still feeling a little shell shocked over Edward's revelation over one of my dad's oldest friends, I followed the Cullen's out into the back garden. Well, if the stretch of land that lead into the forest could be considered a back yard...

Jacob Black was a werewolf. Was I the only one around here that was freakin' human? Was it Forks? Was it like a Hell mouth like it was in Sunnydale?

Did his dad know? He must know! How did you not notice the fact that his son turned into a very large dog?

"Bella," Edward interrupted my train of thought, his voice full of amusement.

"What?" I blinked up at him.

"Well, unless you've taken up track since I was away, I thought you might appreciate a lift."

I gaped. "You mean with you? On your back?"

No way in hell was I wrapping my legs around his waist. That had mistake written all over it.

The amused glint faded from his eyes. "It's the only way, Bella."

Feeling like an utter bitch for making him think that I simply didn't want to ride with him, I nodded and walked around to jump on his back. Edward hauled me up effortlessly and gave me a second to get comfortable before he asked, "Ready?"

"Let's roll," I replied.

Like a bullet, Edward and the rest of the Cullen's shot through the forest. The trees were a blur of different shades of green and the wind made my eyes water. Before I had been afraid of this speed, sure that Edward would send us crashing into a tree, but I felt this time.

I wanted to roll my eyes at myself. I was all about smashing his face into a wall for weeks and now I felt safe and warm... This was not how I'd planned it. I was supposed to marry Lee Brice and have him sing me to sleep every night and be happy.

The plan was not to actually start to... forgive him. It was not to imagine... moving on from what happened and starting again afresh.

Oh shit, I couldn't breathe.

Pressing my face into his shoulder, I tried to figure out what the hell happened to my plan!

Coming to a halt, Edward gently helped me to my feet. I flashed him a smile to show him I was steady and didn't feel the need to put my head between my knees.

Keeping his body protectively in front of mine, Edward and the Cullen's stood staring off into the woods into what I guessed what Quileute territory.

"Will they even come?" I whispered behind Edward's back.

"They're already on their way," he responded absently, his body angled so he could fight off an attack should there be one. "They'll come in wolf form, don't be alarmed."

I frowned, wondering what they would look like, but nothing could prepare me for what I saw.

Three snarling wolves came out of the trees, bigger than grizzly bears and their eyes filled with rage and hatred. I knew then that while the Cullen's maybe saw them as volatile, they full on hated Edward and his family.

It didn't make sense to me. If I remember the story Jacob had told me that day on the beach, it was over fifty years ago that Cullen's first came to Forks. None of these men would have even been thought of, never mind came into contact with the Cullen's. They didn't deserve the animosity I saw in their eyes.

The wolves terrified me, but no way was I going to show that. I stood there quietly as the Carlisle stepped forward to greet the wolves. I noticed that while Edward protected me, Jasper protected Carlisle as he stepped forward. Rosalie, Esme and Alice stood back, but I knew they were ready for any attack.

"They don't trust us," Edward spoke absently.

Carlisle nodded but his gentle smile remained as he filled in the huge wolves of the situation with the newborns, the army and the fact that not only had one been in Forks, but into my home and left with my clothing.

While Carlisle spoke of ideas and plans and working together, I didn't take my eyes off of the wolves.

They were like something out of legends. One black, one grey and one a russet brown. I couldn't help but wonder how many of them they were. Was there only three or did more hide in the shadows?

I noticed that the russet one stared at me, his eyes taking in the way Edward's body hovered protectively in front of mine.

"We mean you no harm, but we do think it would be wise to work together. Newborns won't even be aware of your kind. You'd be the ultimate element of surprise. Normally, I wouldn't even suggest you risking your lives and those of your pack, but we think that this attack is personal and will be coming to Forks. There's nothing to stop that going over into your lands."

We stood there in silence until Edward finally spoke. "They're going to convert back, but want us to be warned that there is more of their pack watching. If we make a wrong move, they'll attack."

Carlisle nodded, while I watched as they disappeared. A minute later, they returned. Sam Uley, I recognized from my day at La Push. The other man I had not seen before, but his disgust was obvious.

The last was Jacob Black. My friend.

"How long?" Sam demanded, his voice was deep and echoed through the forest.

"We don't know yet, but Alice will be able to tell us when they make the decision to head for Forks."

"Bella?" Jacob spoke, looking intently between me and the rest of the Cullen's.

I heard Edward hiss quietly and wanted to curse. He still didn't know about the time I had spent with Jacob while he was away and I guessed what he'd heard from Jacob's mind, he hadn't liked.

Oh shit...

I was so focused on what was happening between Edward and Jacob; I had missed whatever Sam had said.

"You'll need training, which my son Jasper knows something of. He can teach us all. If we work together, we can stop this army before any blood is spilled."

"Spilled?" the man I didn't know scoffed. "Spilled blood isn't something that your kind has to worry about, is it?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. None of the Cullen's snapped back, or even defended themselves against his harsh words.

I would have said something, had opened my mouth to snap that the bastard didn't have a clue what they had to overcome every single day to fight their very natures.

Edwards hand slid into mine and squeezed, silently telling him to let it slide. I glared that the dick, but didn't speak. I knew that we needed for this meeting to go well otherwise lives could be lost.

"Paul," Sam warned.

"What? We don't need these bloodsuckers? We can take care of our people, Sam, just like we did with the red head."

"Red head?" the Cullen's seemed to demand in unison.

All except Edward who had gone utterly still next to me. When he spoke, the word came out in a growl that sent terror running through me.

"Victoria."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N**Hi guys! Thank you for all the chapter love. I would have updated sooner but I had a very scary moment when my laptop crashed on me... and I've been watching Olan Rogers video's on YouTube. Seriously, check him out he's my ideal guy!

Enjoy!

**BPOV**

Edward drove my truck back home in total silence. After we had finished up with the Quileute's, everyone had ran back to the Cullen's house (me hitching another ride with Edward), everyone was quiet and solemn.

I know that none of them relished killing the newborns... well, maybe Emmett who we had been keeping in contact with the entire day. He was seriously pissed that he'd got stuck with 'guard dog' duty while everyone else got the chance to meet with the wolves. He did seem excited about the up and coming battle, though.

At the Cullen's, we had come up with the plan that we would use my scent to lead a trail to two different locations. One would lead the newborns to where the Cullen's would be waiting for them and the other would lead to where the wolves would be waiting for them.

Simple.

I had decided to stay a safe distance away from the battle a little farther up the mountain. Edward hadn't loved the idea of me being there at all, but no one wanted to risk someone catching my scent in town and going in search of me. Newborns had no control and they could kill half the town without thinking.

So, I would camp out father up the mountain with one of the wolves carrying me there so no one would catch my scent. Jasper had said that no newborn, no vampire would ever want get close enough to that scent to follow it.

When Edward found out that it would be Jacob staying with me at the sight, for my protection Jacob had insisted, and only until morning when Seth Clearwater would take his place, Edward had decided to stay with me. For my protection he had insisted, he didn't want to leave me alone.

I had shrugged casually, while inside I was rolling my eyes. We're talking about battle and they're puffing up their chests. Edward mainly was being ridiculous. If he'd read Jacob's mind he knew exactly what had happened and that he had nothing to worry about.

Not that I could say that, since I hadn't told him my plans of getting back together yet.

Yes, I had decided while we were on the ride back that I wanted Edward. Over the past months, I had changed. I had gone from shy, quiet, sensible Bella, to kind of loud, confident Bella who would go after what she wanted.

And I wanted Edward. I hadn't wanted to want him, but I did and I didn't want to waste time. I could continue to be angry and hurt and not only hurt Edward, but myself or I could try to move on.

I was going with the second option. Only Edward seemed like he didn't want that at the moment. The last time he'd even spoken was when we were on the phone to Laurent who was in Denali with Edward's cousins. Apparently he had really hit it off with Irina and was now trying his hand at the vegetarian lifestyle.

_"Who is he calling?" I whispered to Alice who had stayed close to me since we had left the wolf pack five minutes ago._

_"Edward is trying to get in contact with our cousin's, the Denali's. They've been travelling for quite some time and it's been difficult to track them down. If anyone knows why Victoria decided to come back to Forks after all this time, he's knows why."_

_"Isn't it obvious? You killed James," I shuddered at the memory. I couldn't help but absently stroke the cold scar on my wrist. A constant reminder of James' attack._

_"If she wanted revenge because we killed her leader then she would have come straight out and attacked. Not got into it with the wolves only to flee."_

_Edward rolled and mouthed 'Finally' when a female voice answered the phone. Much like every single vampire I had ever met, her voice was almost like she was singing. Only this one had a slight accent._

_"Edward, how are you?" the woman asked eagerly after Edward had greeted her._

_"I'm fine, Tanya, and you?" he asked politely._

_"Oh, I get by, Edward, but you know that," she drawled._

_I felt my jaw drop. I know it was a complete female thing, but there was a lot of truth to the saying 'It's not what you said, but the way you said it'. _

_Was this woman seriously flirting with him? Right in front of me. Granted she didn't know that, but he sure as hell did._

_Girls could sense the tone a girl gave a guy when she was flirting with him. I wondered if this was how she had always spoken with him. Hadn't he told me that he'd been in Alaska? That's where he had gone when he had first caught my scent... now I knew why!_

_Jasper looked down at me with a smirk. I looked towards Edward, but he was too involved with the skank that he wasn't paying attention to the fact that I was... jealous. I could admit it, I was woman enough. I knew I had no right and I knew it wasn't the time, but that's just how I felt and I wasn't ashamed of it._

_Alice nudged me with a grin. "Breathe."_

_"Shut up," I hissed._

_"I didn't say anything. Did I ever say that green was a wonderful shade on you?" she asked._

_I turned to her with a bland stare. "I will find a way to hurt you. Now, hush, I'm listening."_

_"Oh, I'll say," Jasper chuckled. _

_I turned to glare at him. "Remember when you tried to kill me? Feel bad about that, did you? Focus on that." _

_Jasper openly laughed at me and this time his laughter got Edward's attention. I wanted to die at what Edward must have read in his families thought's, but by his confused expression, the Cullen's must have hid their thoughts._

_Thank god, I didn't need to make an even bigger ass of myself than I already was._

_"Would you be able to put him on for me? It's important._

_"For you, anything. Is everything alright, Edward?" Tanya asked, this time with genuine concern._

_"We don't know," he answered honestly. "That's why we need to talk to Laurent. Hopefully he can clear a few things up for us."_

_Within second's I heard Laurent's very distinct accent come over the phone and I tensed. Memory's attacked me of the last time I had heard that voice._

_Alice turned to me with a soft smile. It was strange, I had never thought to be sitting on the Cullen's couch next to his sister and feel comforted by her smile._

_"Laurent, Victoria has been back in Forks. Have you heard anything from her?" he spoke quietly. I knew that, even with the troubles with loud speaker, that Laurent would be able to hear him as clearly as if he were standing next to him._

_"Victoria? No, I have not spoken to her since the day we met on the field. Though it wouldn't surprise me that she had returned."_

_"Why?" Edward demanded._

_"Because of James, of course," he answered as if it was the most obvious answer._

_"James?" I demanded. "Why would James have Victoria returning to Forks?"_

_"Bella," he spoke quietly. "James was Victoria's mate and while he would have sold her out in a breath, she was very devoted to him. Wherever her lead, she followed. I doubt he ever loved her. He used her."_

_"How?" Jasper asked, coming to attention and instinctively moving closer to the telephone._

_"Victoria has a very unique gift. She seems to have an ability to escape any situation. I know that's what drew James' attention to her in the first place. Like with your Alice, James developed a kind of obsession with tracking Victoria down for years before they became mates. I think that's the true reason why he kept her with him. He liked to live dangerously, even my immortal standards and with Victoria around he always had an escape route."_

_My eyes met Alice's as I remembered how James had told me the story of how he had found Alice in an asylum and how if it wasn't for an older vampire Alice would have been killed by him decades ago._

_"Did you know that they were mated?" I asked Edward._

_He shook his head. "I was paying far more attention to James' thoughts, but nothing in her thought's spoke of that kind of connection. She was just so sure of him."_

_"Because he thought he had her to get him out of it," Laurent drawled. "Have you come into contact with her?"_

_"No," Edward replied. "But there are others in the area and they have."_

_I looked at him and his eyes told me to remain quiet. He didn't want even his 'cousins' to know about the pack. I nodded, knowing he was protecting them. I guess I could forgive him for flirting with the woman if he were going to protect my family friends._

_"Though, I guess it is obvious to why she would return to Forks," Laurent added. "Bella is there."_

_"Me?" I all but squeaked. "What do I have to do with this?"_

_Laurent chuckled. "You are Edward's mate. An eye for an eye."_

_I looked up at Edward and saw the haunted, sick expression on his face and I knew why Victoria was back. Why she may even be involved with the army. Edward had killed James and now she would kill me to show him how it felt to have your mate taken away._

_Edward cleared his throat. "We have reason to think that there's a newborn army being created in Seattle. In one of Alice's vision Bella's blouse was being handed around to gain her scent. Could Victoria be involved?"_

_Laurent hesitated. "If it was in any situation I would say no, but when it comes to James... there's nothing, no limits, she won't go to. Be careful, Edward. You have one fight on your hands if she's the one behind them."_

I sighed as I looked up at the empty house. My dad had called over three hours ago to say he'd had to go into work and wouldn't be home until later. It had made it a lot easier to spend time at the Cullen's.

It was twilight, I noticed and remembered when Edward and I had sat here with the rain pouring outside and I had told him pretty much there was to know about me at the time. I just wished that we didn't have to talk about what I knew was coming.

It was as I sat there that Edward finally spoke.

"So, you and Jacob Black?" he asked casually, but I knew him well enough still to hear the slight bite to his voice.

I cringed inwardly, wondering what he'd gotten from Jake's thoughts.

"No, not the way you're thinking. Or he was thinking, I guess," I added wryly.

"His thoughts were rather loud," he replied quietly, his jaw clenched.

"What was he thinking?" I asked carefully.

"He was angry to see you with a _bloodsucker_," he laughed darkly. "He also thought of the times he'd held your hand in his. The times he'd held _you_. About the times you'd looked into his eyes smiling and laughing and the love he felt for you. Still felt for you."

I closed my eyes. "It's not what you think."

"It's not really my business, is it? I left and you were free. I expected, even hoped you would move on. Just not with a wolf."

I felt my teeth snap together. "Your right, it isn't your business. And I didn't move in with him, or anyone else."

His hands clenched on the steering wheel until I thought he would snap it. "No, you just dated Tyler Crowley."

I would have slapped him right then and there if it wasn't for the hurt I heard in his voice. The hurt he was trying to hide from. Yes, there was anger there and jealousy, but that was only slight.

I sighed. I didn't want to him and I didn't date Tyler to hurt him. I had wanted to shove it in his face, yes, but I'd just wanted forget him.

"Do you want to know what really happened or not?" I asked quietly.

He was silent for a long time and I thought he wouldn't answer. "Yes."

I took a deep breath and stared out of my windshield, absently thinking I would have to clean the truck tomorrow.

"About a month after you left, I was becoming really good friends with Jessica and Angela and then one day I went down to La Push with my dad and me and Jacob got talking. He showed me the bikes he was working on and even took me for a ride on one."

His breath hissed out of him.

"It was fun, but not really my thing after my dad found out and showed me all the clips there was to see about motorcycle accidents. So, even though the bike thing wasn't happening, we still stayed close. If I wasn't with my dad or the girls, I was with him. We were close, Edward, I did hug him and hold his hand."

"Were you and item?" he asked quietly.

"No," I told him honestly. "After a while it became clear that Jacob felt more than just friendship. Very clear when he told me he loved me."

"And you? Did you love him?"

How to answer this honestly, I thought.

"I... wanted to." I admitted my eyes burning with tears at the memory of how much I had wanted to love Jacob the way he wanted and deserved. My self-loathing and guilt when I couldn't.

"You wanted to?" he asked.

"Yes. I've never been blind to our differences, Edward. I've always known that if we were to truly be together I would have to give my humanity, my family and friends and everything human. Then you were gone... and I saw that it would be a lot easier to love Jacob. I wouldn't have to give anything up. He was nice and sweet and would love me. I wouldn't have to lie anymore," I let my head fall back against the seat. "Yes, it would be simpler if I loved Jacob Black."

I sat there for a while before I shrugged. "I guess the heart doesn't listen to the head."

Edward seemed to take it all in until eventually he let out a growl that rattled my truck. I laughed, trying to make light of the situation. "You sound a little jealous."

I remembered how I had reacted earlier when he had been talking to Tanya on the phone. Id all but growled and I wasn't a vampire. I guess we were a like in some ways.

He glared at me. "I know this may be amusing to you, but it isn't to me. Do you think this is easy for me? To know that Jacob Black, a wolf," he spat, "is a better match for you than I am. That he's the type of man that you should have. It's not easy for me to sit here and have you listed the reasons why," he growled.

I turned to scowl at him. While that wasn't my intention he wasn't the only one who'd had to face the person who was more suited for the person they loved.

"Just like it wasn't easy for me to sit there earlier while Tanya flirted with you. 'Oh, I get by, Edward, but you know that'," I repeated the words she had drawled at him earlier in a bad version of her accent. "I know how you feel, Edward. Don't you think it's always been abundantly clear to me that you should be with someone like her?"

He frowned at me. "I don't want, Tanya. I never have."

"How the hell would I know that? Yes, I went on a date with Tyler Crowley and a couple of others, but for all I knew you were out there doing God knows what with God knows who. With her," I spat.

He turned his body towards mine and looked down at me with furious eyes. "Is that what you thought I did, Bella? That when I left town, I just walked away and moved onto other women? That months later I just decided to head back into town to get you back on a whim?"

I met his glower with one of my own. Part of me was glad; we were finally laying into each other. We'd argued over the past couple of months, but not like this. No holds barred, nothing held back. It would either do us good or blow up in our faces.

"How am I supposed to know?" I demanded. "You told me that your kind was distracted easily. How was I supposed to know if that excluded women?"

"Bella, I mourned you as if you had died. Every day I fought the urge to return to you. From needing to hear the sound of your heartbeat or laugh just one more time. To see your smile or those eyes that stole my heart."

His words, so beautiful and genuine made me want him snap out at him. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have fought so hard."

He hissed. "Bella, I was trying to do the right thing. I was trying to what was best for you."

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Your definition of right! The wrong one, I might add."

Edward, who was always so controlled and a gentlemen to the core slammed his hand against the dash board. Not enough to dent it, just enough to make me jump and then scowl at him. He could go and break his own car, not mine.

"Well, I am sorry that I am not perfect. I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it you, but that's how it is, Bella," he exclaimed as he sat back in his seat.

I looked at him with an incredulous expression. "Who the hell said you were perfect?" I demanded.

He huffed. "Don't you think I've read it a thousand times in the minds of the females in this town? You threw the word around often enough when we were together. How you used to say I was an angel and perfect. The perfect man," he rolled his eyes.

I remembered a time when I had named him an angel. I wanted to shake my head at my own thoughts. Edward was more of one of those angels I read about in Gena Showalter's books where the angels were dark and damaged and a hell a lot more real because of it.

I pictured my perfect man and couldn't help but laugh. "Edward, my idea of the perfect man is a fictional character named Ford. He writes graphic novels, hate's mornings and has a cute, but very ugly dog that chases invisible cats. He's also got this very sexy balance of nerd and charm that makes me swoon."

He gave me a dry look. "Really?"

I nodded at him with a smile. "Really. I will admit that I once named you perfect. I thought you were flawless," I shrugged with a small laugh. "Then you dumped me three days after my birthday and showed me that you're an ass."

He rolled his eyes at my words.

I looked into his eyes. "I know now that you are not perfect, Edward. And to me that makes us a lot stronger. It's easy to love someone who never messes up. Who says and does everything right. Who makes everything easy. But that's not reality. When you know someone's flaws and love them in spite of that... it's real and I'd rather have that anyway."

"Bella," he whispered, the anger in his eyes draining.

"I don't want perfect, Edward and I don't want easy. If I did I would be with Jacob now. But I don't want him and I never did despite how hard I tried. I knew that even if we married and had children it would be your face I saw at night. It would be you I wanted with me as I grew old."

I felt tears burn my eyes but I didn't try to fight them, to hold them off, I let them fall.

"What I want is the man who stood there and said that he wasn't going anywhere. It may have pissed me off, but eventually, it made me start to believe in us again. That you had started to believe in us. That you thought, 'Yeah, we have out problems, but we love each other and despite everything we're right for each other'."

I sighed. "I know that being with a vampire for you, would be like being with Jacob for me; easy. But I don't want easy, Edward. I love you and I have tried so hard to bury that, but I know I can't. So, though someone may be better for you, I'm saying that this is what you're getting. We're right for each despite everything else."

I felt disappointment fill me when he didn't say anything. Just sat there and looked at me.

"When will you stop being a coward and fight for me, Edward? When will you say screw everything and fight for us?" With a shake of my head, I opened the truck door and walked up the path to my house.

As I opened the door, I gasped in shock to find Edward standing in front of me before I had the chance to close it. Damn that man could move fast.

"Not fight for you?" he growled. "I have fought for you since the day we met."

I slammed the door shut. "No, you fought to save me. To keep me safe. And while I thank you for it, you have to see the difference between the two."

"What difference?" He gritted out as he stood there in the darkness.

"You always plan to leave!" I yelled. "You think that you need to protect me from you. You never stand and fight for us and I can't always be the one to fight, Edward."

He scoffed. "Oh, yeah, you spent the past two months fighting for us."

I gaped at him. "What was I meant to do? You left me. Did you expect me to throw my arms around you and say its okay, because it's not?"

"Of course I didn't expect that. What I am saying is that I've never known what to do for the best when it comes to you. What I want and what I should do have always been such polar opposites. I want to stay with you, but I'm the one putting you in danger. Everything that's happening now proves that."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that if I hadn't met you, if I hadn't taken you to that baseball game then Victoria wouldn't even know of your existence, yet thanks to me she does. I killed James and now instead of attacking me, she's after you."

I shook my head. "You did what you had to do, Edward. He never would have stopped. Besides, we're not talking about him; we're talking about us and how fast you run whenever anything gets difficult."

"It wasn't easy for me, Bella. It ripped me to shreds to walk away! I love you and I always have."

I stood there. "And yet a part of you is always planning to leave," I gritted out. "I can see it in your eyes, even now. I can see that when anything dangerous comes up you're always thinking that you should leave me. And I want you to fight. I can't be the one to all the time."

"You handed in the towel too, Bella," he pointed out. "You didn't want us to reunite."

I nodded my head. "You got that damn right. I was terrified that you could hurt me again, Edward. It ripped you to shreds? How did you think I would feel when I had to stand there while you spouted off crap about not wanting me? When I had to come home and find every memory of us had been thrown away. That you had thrown us away."

"Thrown you away?" he snapped.

Charging over to me, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs, even then he was careful that I didn't trip and his grip wasn't too hard.

When we reached my bedroom, Edward let go of my hand and stormed over to my rug. Tossing that out of the way, he tore up my floor boards.

"Dude! My floor!" I yelled in outrage.

"I'll fix it," he muttered as he reached in and pulled something out.

_Please don't be a mouse_, I thought absently as he got to his feet.

Walking back over to me, he shoved it into my hands. I gasped when I looked down and saw that it was my CD and my tickets. They'd been with me the entire time.

"I couldn't take them, Bella," he whispered. "I needed to know that something of me remained with you, even if you weren't aware of it."

I stood there, fingering the CD case as tears rolled down my cheeks. They were so close this entire time.

"I am so sorry that I always think I know what's best for you, Bella. I'm even sorrier because it always seems to backfire. I can't even bring myself to regret it fully because you finally found yourself," he smiled. "You found the confident, sassy girl I always knew you were."

"Edward," I began.

"No. Let me finish. The night of your birthday, I saw it; your future. A future that was filled with danger and it was because of me. The past seven months has proved that because you have been completely safe without me here. I wanted you to have that kind of future, Bella. One that was happy and safe and hopefully one day you could look back on our time together and smile. I wanted that for you.

But that doesn't mean it didn't kill me to think of your future and know I was excluded from it. To know that you would be happy someday without me. I needed to leave this here as a part of myself. Because I need you, Bella. I have always needed you."

"I have tried so hard to put you out of my head and heart and I was pretty sure I had succeeded. Until I realised today that I still loved you. That I still wanted you. Your right, I have changed. I'll never be the girl I was before. I won't let you set the guidelines to our relationship like I did, but I want you. What do want?"

"What do I want?" he asked.

I nodded my head, needing for him to say the words I longed to hear.

Instead of words, Edward pushed me into the nearest wall. I gasped as the air left my lungs in a rush. He'd never done anything like that and I would be lying if I said it didn't excite me.

Edward brought his mouth to mine. His kiss was passionate and without the restraint he had once shown. It was hot it made me ache for more.

My heart pounded as I kissed him for the first time in months. My hands gripped his hair as I let myself be devoured by the kiss that sent fire through my body.

Wanting nothing more than to lose myself in the kiss, but knowing there was still things I needed, I pushed him away.

"Say it, Edward. Say this time and mean it or we have to walk away," I whispered breathlessly.

He looked down at me with intense eyes. "I love you, Bella. We may not be right for one another, but I'll be damned if someone else has you. I want your future to be ours. I want you and I love you and I will never leave you again."

I looked up at him and I knew this was the moment. He had given me his vow and I still had a choice. I could walk away and keep myself safe and hold onto the fear and anger over his actions so many months ago.

Or I could give us both this second chance. A chance to get things right this time. To forgive him and grab onto a future that I wanted.

"Finally," I breathed and pulled his lips back to mine.

**A/N** There is it; Bella has the devotion she needs from Edward. Would you have done the same? What do you think? And how would you feel if thing's got a little steamier in the next chapter?


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N **Hi guys! Thank you all so much for you lovely reviews. It's nice to know that we're all on the same page, lol. Also, in the last chapter I had more guest reviews than ever! Even though one dude suggest oral... Dirty... I like it. Lol.

For this chapter Bella will approach the sexier side of their relationship the way I always thought she should. Openly and honestly. Something that Mike Falzone say's is good for any relationship, lol.

I do have one favor to ask. A song gave me a lot of inspiration for Edward. It's called _Let Me Love It out_ _Of You_ by Tim McGraw. As you have noticed I have used this story to show all my favorite country songs and this truly shows Edward's thoughts and feelings in my head. So please listen since it does come into the chapter and will compliment it. I'm listening to it now! LOL.

Please read and review and let me know what you think of this and even the song!

**BPOV**

I groaned as Edward crushed his body against mine. It should have been comfortable between Edward's hard body and the wall, but I couldn't have cared less. I loved the roughness of his kiss, the passion and I willingly threw myself into it.

"Bella," he sighed as I brushed kisses along his neck.

Without a word, he hoisted me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist, aligning our bodies wonderfully.

I returned my mouth to Edwards, the sounds of our erratic breathing and my pounding heart the only thing I could hear. Or wanted to.

Pulling my mouth away from his so I could gain a breath, I caught his bottom lip between my teeth, making him groan.

Edward pulled away from me abruptly, dropping his forehead onto my shoulder as he fought to catch his breath. Something that should have been impossible for a vampire. That made me feel pretty damn good about myself.

I smiled. "You doing okay there, Edward?"

I felt his quiet laughter against my shoulder. "A minute."

I ran my fingers through his hair. I didn't mean being, up against a wall with only Edward's body keeping me up there.

"The bed's right over there," I teased knowing he would never go for it.

Edward pulled back to glare at me. "Don't tempt me," he growled.

Before I knew it, Edward was flying us through the hallway and down the stairs. He came to an abrupt halt at the arm of the sofa, dropping me to my feet. I wobbled and gripped onto Edward to keep myself upright.

It would have been easy for him to keep us both standing; instead he let me pull him back and laughing we fell onto the couch. The wind was slightly knocked out of me, but that didn't stop me from pulling his mouth back to mine and returning to where we had left off upstairs.

It was strange, I thought as my tongue danced with his. Edward was still as careful as ever when it came to his teeth, his temperature and keeping his weight from crushing me, but he also let go.

This moment was so perfect between us and so... human. It wasn't a vampire kissing his human girlfriend. It was a couple who had just reunited and was happy and in love and making on the sofa, I thought with a smile.

"What?" he asked as he propped himself up to look down at me.

I laughed. "We've never had a make out session on the couch before."

Edward joined in my laughter. "Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess." With a smirk he lowered his mouth back to mine and for the longest time, neither of us spoke and neither of us wanted to.

Abruptly Edward pulled his mouth from mine. "Charlie's here."

I struggled beneath him to sit up." Shit, shit, shit."

As I got to my feet and worked on fixing my hair and clothes so it didn't look like I'd just been making out on the sofa. Edward on the other hand lay there and laughed at me. The bastard.

"We really have to work on your mouth, Bella," he chuckled.

"Kiss my ass," I snapped as I pressed my hands to my flushed cheeks. "Get up stairs and don't listen in. We need to talk."

His eyes widened. "You're going to tell him about us now?"

I rolled my eyes at him, grabbing his hand to pull him to his feet. "Yes, I am. I don't want to keep anything from him more than I have to. That's kind of been the balance I've been living by. I don't want to lie to my friends and family so I keep it as close as I can to the truth," I shrugged.

He brushed a kiss across my forehead. "It's a good balance. I know how much you hate lying."

I grinned up at him. "I've gotten way better at it, though."

Edward frowned down at me. "Is that something you should be proud of?" he teased.

"Hey, I take it where I can get it," I laughed. "Do me a favor and use your vamp speed to set the table before my dad gets in here. Which will be any second now."

"So bossy," he muttered, but the next thing I knew he was a blur around the kitchen and then gone all together by the time my dad opened the front door.

"Thank you," I whispered as I walked into the kitchen to drag out some left overs out of the fridge.

"Hey dad! Lasagna or Chinese takeout?" I called.

"Lasagna," he replied and I could hear him hanging up his coat, taking off his gun. The usual.

"Sit down," I ordered as he walked into the kitchen.

He frowned at me, but took a seat as I heated up the lasagna and placed it in front of him. I placed my plate opposite him and slumped into my seat.

"What is it, Bells?" he asked as I sat there staring at him.

How do you tell you're over protective dad that you're back together with the guy who broke your heart? Email? Text message? Carrier pigeon?

"Dad," I began and then froze wondering how he would react and how I would react to his reaction.

"Bella," he teased.

"I'm back together with Edward," I blurted out and then dug into my lasagna. It was hotter than I thought it would be and burned all the way down.

My dad on the other had frozen completely. Good sign or bad sign, I wish I knew.

For about two minutes, he sat there in complete silence, staring at me as if I'd just informed him that I'd gotten a part time job in a strip club.

Eventually, it got too much. Mainly because Id finished and I really wanted to get this conversation over with so I could go upstairs and pick up where we left off.

"Dad," I prompted.

My dad sighed as he placed his fork onto his plate. "I don't know what to say, Bella. I thought you were firmly in the 'I hate Edward' club."

I smiled. "I was. I made t-shirts and handed out buttons. But I want you to know that I have thought of this and the risks and everything that has happened. I am not going into this with my eyes closed or with some notion that everything will be perfect."

"He hurt you, Bella." My dad's eyes were dark and serious and I knew that he was worried about me.

Reaching across, I placed my hand over his. "I know he did and so does he. Edward thought he was doing the right thing for both of us. He knows he messed up and was a big reason in why the Cullen's moved back to Forks. He's been patient and has explained everything so many times. It was me who needed time," I shrugged. "I didn't I could forgive him."

"And you have?" he asked gruffly.

I nodded my head. "I didn't think I could. I didn't want to. I wanted to be mad at him and keep him at arm's length."

"What changed?"

I smiled softly at him. "Nothing really. He's still the same old Edward who over think's things and messes up... a lot," I laughed. "But I still love him. For who he is, not what he's done."

My dad sat there for the longest time. "Do you expect me to... like him?" he forced out the words like they choked him.

"No," I rushed out. "Both he and I know that he's going to earn your trust back, just like he did with me. I'm not going to ask you to like or forgive him and I'm not going to make some childish ultimatum about you accepting that we come as a pair. I would never disrespect you like that. I do ask that you try to give him another chance."

I bit my lip as I watched my dad think it over. I knew it was hard on him. I was his daughter and he had been there that first week day in and day out while I walked around on auto pilot. I wouldn't ask him to forget all that. I knew that while I had forgave Edward didn't my dad ever could.

Eventually, he let out a gusty sigh and smiled. "I'll see what I can do. No promises, though."

"No promises," I smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Thank you. Now, I am really tired and I'm going to go up to bed. Night!"

He gave me a confused look before understanding reached his eyes. "You're going to go email or call Edward, huh?"

I held back a smile. If only he knew.

"Something like that," I nodded as I rushed upstairs.

I frowned when I heard Jana Kramer playing softly in my bedroom.

When I entered the room, I saw him lying on his back; his feet hung off the end of the bed, with his arms resting behind his head.

"I see Esme was the one behind my CD disappearing," he drawled as he propped himself up on his elbows.

I grinned as I shut the door. "Hey, that CD is a big reason as to why I realised I was going to get you back."

He raised his eyebrows. "Get me back?" he chuckled.

I sat on the end of the bed. "Yep. I'm a girl who knows what she wants and goes after it. Does that intimidate you?"

He thought about that for a moment. "I find take charge women to be extremely attractive."

I pointed my finger at him. "Right answer. So a CD filled with songs I like, huh? Pining for me?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Not pining... Just in desperate need of you."

He was pining, I thought with a smile.

"One question I do have is why the hell who have _'Hit Me with Your Best Shot_' on here."

Edward laughed as he pulled me over so that I lay across his chest. "It was during one of those wretched sunny days after I returned. You weren't talking to me, you needed space and I wanted to give that to you. You were wearing this light blue jacket that brought out your eyes and you looked beautiful."

I frowned as I tried to remember the day he spoke of, but couldn't.

"Anyway," he continued. "You were all listening to music in the parking lot and this song came on the radio. You jumped up and down like it was Christmas morning and leaned in the car to turn it up. You just started dancing around and miming the words and you had never looked so adorable."

Oh, that's why. I tended to sing and dance as much as I was psychically able. I had come to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to win any competitions any time soon, and it had helped me go my own way.

"I remember now," I whispered as I lay my cheek on his cold chest.

"You danced around like you were the only person in the world. You didn't see the people who looked on with a smile. You only noticed when Jessica joined in because then you dragged Angela over to dance with you. Later that night she uploaded a video onto YouTube," he laughed.

I smiled. We hadn't made a video in a while. "I wonder how they'll react to this," I thought. "They mean a lot to me and want them to be on board."

Edward looked down into my eyes. "If it's important you that they're okay with this, I have no other option then to win them over."

"Thank you," I smiled as I placed a kiss to his heart. Beating or not it was there and more beautiful than ever before.

"So, you're a country fan now?" I teased.

Edward scoffed. "Hardly. There was one song, though." Edward got to his feet and flitted around to the CD player, skipping through tracks until he found the one he was after.

When the intro began, I smiled. I loved this song.

"Dance with me," he murmured as he held out his hand.

Without hesitation, I placed my hand into his and let him pull me to my feet. At the end of my bed, careful of the gap in the floor that Edward hadn't repaired yet, we slow danced to Tim McGraw's _Let Me Love It out Of You Tonight._

It was a song about fighting and forgiveness, but more importantly about love.

We danced slowly, my heart felt light and so full of love that I swore it would explode. Especially when Edward sang along with the chorus and my knee's almost buckled.

"_Come on over, sit back down by me,_  
_Let me have it, take it out on me,_  
_Don't hold back, take your time,_  
_Until you forgive me._  
_Turn down the lights, lock the door,_  
_Leave out leavin' on the floor,_  
_I know you're angry inside,_  
_Let me love it out of you tonight.__"_

"When you played this song in Biology, it felt like a sign. It was everything that I thought and felt and wished I could say to you. I'm glad you gave me the chance. I love you, Bella."

Filled with love and hope for our future, tears flowed down my cheeks and I leaned up on my toes to place a tender kiss to his lips. "I love you. I never stopped."

"Promise that you never will," he whispered.

"I promise," I smiled.

I rest my head back against his chest as we swayed gently in a circle and as the song came to an end, a thought came to me. One I knew that we needed to figure out so we didn't make the same mistakes. So our relationship could work within the boundaries we both had and didn't have to worry about crossing invisible lines that we didn't know were there.

"Sit down," I ordered him, much like I had my dad earlier.

Smiling, Edward sat on the edge of the bed, his hands going to my hips as I stood in front of him.

"Edward," I started.

"Bella," he teased, again much like my dad had.

"You're hilarious," I drawled. "Listen. I don't want to make the same mistakes. I don't want to go through crap we already have."

"I don't want to, either." He told me sincerely.

"Good," I smiled. "I think we need to be open and honest and share what we're thinking. That was one of our biggest problems before. Not just you, but me. I never really told you what I was thinking or feeling because I was always afraid to upset you or make you mad. And I don't about making you angry anymore," I added dryly.

Edward chuckled. "That's obvious, Bella. I don't want to hide thing's either," he said as he reached up to play with my hair. "So in the interest of being open and honest, what's the first thing on our list?"

"Sex," I said with a nod.

Edward's eyes almost bulged out of his face. I could see his need to push aside the topic because it was difficult and uncomfortable, but he didn't. "Bella, you know that it's not possible," he whispered almost shamefully.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, get over yourself. I've changed a lot since you left, Edward. And I've grown up a lot, too. To be honest I always thought that I could get you to change your mind when it came to sex."

"You did?" he demanded in shock.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "And I'm sorry about that. I didn't see just what you were trying to tell me. That it is dangerous and that you worry about hurting me. So, I'm sorry and I respect where you're coming from. So... sex is off the table."

I could have laughed at the expression on his face. If he could blush, I swore he would be red by now.

"But..." I continued. "I do think that in order for us to both know our limits, we would try a little experiment."

Edward smiled at me, but I could see that he was also wary of my 'experiment'. "What experiment?"

Not knowing how to word it, I let my actions do the talking. Leaning down, I pressed soft, sensuous kisses to his neck. When he shuddered with pleasure, I smiled. "We're going to put those limits to the test," I chuckled.

"Bella," he groaned in warning. He hadn't pushed me away yet, so I took it as a good sign. If he did, I would respect that also. I didn't want to be the girl I was back then and constantly push his limits though he was obviously torn about them.

I pushed him back slightly on the bed so that I could straddle his lap. "This is in the interest of science, Edward," I told him. Then I looked into his eyes and was utterly serious. "I just think that if we don't know how far we're comfortable with, we'll always run into problems."

"Even if we can today..." he trailed off.

"I know that. I know that today we could do well and tomorrow, not so well and that's okay. Oh, if you want we can even have a safe word," I suggested with a smile.

"A safe word," he drawled.

I nodded. "Works in the books, dude. How about... Flugelhorn? That's not a sexy word," I laughed.

Edward chuckled beneath me as his hands rubbed my back slowly. Sexily. "No, it is not," he agreed.

I sighed. I knew what I was asking. I knew it was a lot, but I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was important to us. If we were going to have a long and lasting to relationship, then we needed to make sure we looked after everything.

"We'll never know, Edward," I whispered as I traced his lips with my fingertips. "If we don't try. I'm not saying that we're going to have sexy tonight. Even if you could handle it, I can't because I know I'm not ready for that yet." I grinned. "I flugelhorn that in advance."

Edward threw his head back and laughed before pressing a kiss to my lips. Sighing, I let myself fall into his kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Pressing my forehead to his, I whispered, "This isn't a failing, Edward. This is communicating. If you're not comfortable, that's okay. I respect that. But until you flugelhorn it..." I trailed off teasingly.

Edward laughed darkly. "Oh, I should flugelhorn it. But the thing is... I think you right," he sighed.

"Of course I am," I grinned. "Besides, this is typical teen behavior. Sexual tension galore," I giggled.

"Well, if it's a teen experience," he whispered as he leaned into kiss me.

It was a different kiss then even before. It was serious, with intent.

Pressing my body all the more closer to his, I ran my hands down his back until I could get a good grip on the hem and rip it off from between us until my body was pressed against his bare chest.

_Mother, may I?_ I thought as I leaned down to press open mouthed kisses to his shoulders and chest.

"Bella," he breathed as he let his head fall back.

"Flugelhorn?" I asked between kisses.

"No!" he all but shouted, making me laugh. "No flugelhorn," he said as he wrapped his arm tightly around my waist and bringing my mouth back to his.

Feeling hot and bothered and in such need, I followed my instincts and rocked my hips gently into his.

At his deep groan, I froze. "Flugelhorn?" I whispered again, ready to stop everything despite my bodies' scream of protest.

Edward's laugh was dark and shaky. "No. Just that sexual tension you promised."

I continued to rock my hips as I pulled his mouth to mine. "And back we go," I whispered against his lips.

For a while, I was lost to the heat. Somewhere along the way, my shirt was tossed aside with his and Edward took advantage by pressing kisses the exposed skin on my chest.

_Holy freakin' hell_ was my last coherent thought before I rocked my hips harder to his.

It was a sexy image in my mind. Me straddling Edwards lap in nothing but a pair of jeans and a blue lace bra. Edward was mouthwatering; I didn't even notice his cold skin. I was burning too hot to notice much.

I sighed as I gripped his hair in my fingers and sighed. I rocked once more before Edward froze altogether.

"Flugelhorn," he whispered, his voice sounded agonized.

"Blood?" I whispered.

He shook his head before resting his head against my breasts. His breathing was harsh as he tried to calm himself down.

I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up.

Edward pulled back to frown at me. "Why the hell are you laughing?"

I grinned. "I'm just really proud of myself right now. Did the vampire safe word because of my delicious blood? No. He safe worded because of my rocking body and sexual prowess. Good for me," I added happily.

"But I safe worded," he pointed out, his voice full of disappointment with himself.

I smiled at him as I brushed his messed up hair out of his eyes. "Sweetie, this is what this whole thing was about. Now we know," I shrugged. "If either of us ever reaches out limit, we just flugelhorn."

Edward shook his head. "That's the most ridiculous word you could have ever chosen."

I smiled. "That's kind of the point. You did nothing to be disappointed in, Edward. By communicating we're always doing the right thing for us." I groaned and then admitted. "I do think I need a cold shower, though," I laughed.

"You're not the only one," he replied darkly.

I laughed as I jumped to my feet. "Well, my friend, you have two options. You can either go home and get some comfy clothes. Or... You can strip to your boxers. "I grinned. "I vote door number two."

Edward laughed as he looked up at me. "You're probably right since I'm having trouble moving at the moment."

I threw my head back and laughed. "I'll be back," I promised as I left to go and take a very cold shower.

**EPOV**

Think of something besides Bella, I ordered myself and I tried to find a comfortable position. My body was hard and aching and all I wanted to do was join Bella in that bathroom.

She was right, though. Neither of us was ready for that yet. My body was, that was the reason why I had safe worded. I knew that I was about to lose that last bit of control I had and it worried me to think of what could happen to her if I did.

Would I have taken her blood? No. I loved Bella and fought every second to keep her safe from the demon within me. No, I had safe worded because I didn't know what damage I could do to her body if we did have sex and I couldn't control my own strength.

I couldn't take hurting her.

Today had been the strangest day. I had thought I would pass on duties to Jasper, get a little hunting in and try not to think about Bella. Knowing I would fail.

Then Bella had called me, said she needed me. Something I never thought to hear from her again.

To know that Victoria had come back, to know that a bunch of newborns were after Bella's scent, it filled me with fear and fury. It also filled me with a determination to keep her safe.

When we had met with the wolves, I had seen the images in Black's mind. I had seen her laughing and holding him and I had felt overcome with jealously. A dog, an immature mutt with poor control was a better choice for the woman I loved than I was.

It turned out that meeting with the wolves had been the perfect thing for us. It had given us a chance to clear the air and finally move past what had happened.

Bella had told me to fight for her, for us and that's exactly what I am going to do. Victoria wouldn't take her from me, the newborns would. And over my dead body would I let the dog take her from me, no matter if he were the better one for her.

Bella is mine and no one could ever love her like I would. I wasn't about to let her go now.

I sat there and thought back on the last ten minutes. At first I had been skeptical and a little afraid of her 'science experiment', but it had been good for us, just like she had promised. I now knew what I was capable of with her... physically.

I knew that I could kiss and hold her and let myself get lost in passion and still have the control to pull back.

I was pretty damn proud of myself too, I thought with a grin.

A grin which soon turned to a scowl when I realised that thinking about Bella and her beautiful body wasn't helping me in my current predicament.

When I heard Bella's slight squeal, I couldn't contain my laughter. That was until I started picturing her in the shower. Not a good idea.

So, instead I tried to picture anything but a very naked Bella. I pictured my brothers, my sisters, my parents... Everything and everyone that I didn't consider sexual.

Finally, as the water died off in the bathroom, my body settled and I could move again.

Bella entered the room and for the first time, she reminded me of the girl she had been. With wet, tangled hair, sweatpants and a tank top, she looked like Bella.

She scowled when she realised I hadn't moved and inch and though my shirt was on the floor, where she had tossed it, I was still wearing the rest of my clothes.

"Strip, Cullen," she ordered as she went to the new trunk at the end of her bed and pulled out a blanket. She threw me a sexy smile as she dropped the blanket onto the bed. "I promise not to stare. Or sing _You Can Leave Your Hat On_."

Sighing, I did as I was told and stripped. Bella's ideas for our relationship had worked so far. I had faith in her.

I had to laugh at her when I saw that she was ogling me, despite her promise. I felt a little exposed in my underwear, but couldn't help feel satisfied when she took a deep breath, her eyes glued to me.

"I need a minute," she muttered darkly.

"I'm not our sex toy, Bella," I teased her.

Her smile could have brightened the sun. "The hell you aren't," she replied as she walked up to me, her fingers trailing across my abs and I couldn't help the shiver that went through me. "My babies sexy," she whispered as she pressed a kiss to my neck.

Just as I closed my eyes and would have happily let her have her way with me, she gave me a shove towards the bed.

"Get in bed, hot stuff."

I laughed as I let myself fall into the bed. "What did I just say? I'm not your sex toy." As much as I wanted to be, I thought to myself.

Bella just rolled her eyes. "Get your head out of the gutter."

Bella tossed the blanket over me before she climbed on top of it and pulled the duvet cover over herself.

I smiled as I lay back and pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her. Bella had made it so we could 'sleep' together and while there would be no sleep what so ever on my part she had made it so it gave the illusion.

Before I had lay there on top of the quilt, fully dressed and though I hadn't realised it at the time, I had felt distanced from her. Now, I her body was wrapped up in mind. The sheet between us thick enough to keep her warm, but thin enough so that I could feel every line of her body next to mine.

It seemed so normal and human and I knew now how difficult I had made things before. In this moment, I didn't feel like a monster of a vampire, but a man. A man very much in love with the woman in his arms and so grateful she had given him another chance after he had messed up so completely.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Bella looked up into my eyes. "I love you, Edward." She answered simply.

"I love you. I always have and I always will."

Together we lay there quietly until I felt Bella's breathing slow and knew she was asleep. And though I knew it was probably silly, I closed my eyes and pretended to drift off to dream with her.

**A/N** Aww. I loved that chapter. Is that egotistical? I don't care! Please tell me what you think and if you didn't listen to _Let Me Love It Out Of You_. Please go back and listen, it's so sexy and I think it is a good song for how Edward is, and has felt since he returned.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N**Hi guys! Thank you so much for your reviews. They are awesome! Bella and Edward have had a lot of drama over the past 15 chapters so I thought I would give them just a little longer with no drama and a nice perfect day.

Let me know what you think and enjoy!

**BPOV**

I sighed as I felt myself begin to wake up. My sleep had been so peaceful, so wonderful that I didn't want it to end.

I felt warm and comfortable and I was pretty sure that this was as close as you could get to being wrapped up by a cloud.

It was then that comprehension struck and I remembered last night... Vividly.

Opening my eyes I smiled as I realised that my warm cloud was actually the ice cold, rock hard chest of one very yummy, mostly naked Edward Cullen. His eyes were closed, but obviously I knew it wasn't sleeping.

I reached up to trace his eyelids with my fingertips and then down to his full lips. His eyes opened and a smile appeared. "Good morning, beautiful," he whispered.

"Hi," I smiled. "This is the most perfect way to wake up."

"It's pretty wonderful from my end also," he agreed as he wrapped his arms around me. "What should we do today? Do you have any plans?"

"Nope," I smiled. "Angela normally goes to church unless we plan something ahead of time and Jessica is dragging Jack to a family wedding. It isn't so much as dragging since Mike Newton is going to be there."

Edward grunted. "I wouldn't let you go alone, either. That boy has issues and coming from me, that's saying something."

I tutted him. "So judgmental today," I teased him. "I think he's kind of cute when he's all jealous and stalkerish. Reminds me of someone," I muttered.

Edward gave me a dirty look and I couldn't help but laugh. I was so happy. "Anywho, so it turns out that Jack wasn't so into attending the wedding originally, but when he found out that her second cousin is marrying his older brother... Well, he was pretty into it then. Shocking, right?"

I felt his laughter beneath me. "Absolutely not. I've read Jack's thoughts and he's very much in love with your Jessica. I don't doubt that he would want to make sure she wasn't alone with Newton."

I frowned at the way he said Mike's name. "You really don't like him, do you?"

"I loathe him," he replied cheerfully. "So, you're free today?" he asked getting us back on track.

"Yes. I just have to tell my dad."

"No problem. Charlie left you a note downstairs saying he'd gone fishing with Billy and some friends. He won't be back until tonight."

I smiled. "So we have all day together?"

He gave me my favorite crooked smile. "Yes we do. So, how about we have a little picnic so the human can be fed. Spend the morning together and then we can drop by the house and give everyone the good news. Not that Alice hasn't most likely told everyone," he chuckled.

I frowned at the thought of going to the Cullen's. I tried to hide it from Edward, but he caught my look. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged. "Well, now that we're not planning an attack on newborns or having a Victoria sized bombshell dropped on us, I don't know how to be around Alice," I admitted. Yesterday with all the drama, I hadn't thought of what was happening in everyday life. Now it was all coming back to me.

Edward stayed silent for a long time before he whispered, "You're really finding it hard with Alice, aren't you?"

I nodded slightly. "I think for a long time I stayed mad at her because if I forgave her, I would have to forgive you. And it was kind of defense mechanism."

"I know this may make you angry, but we're being honest so... I think you're blaming Alice for something that was my decision. I was the one who made everyone leave, Bella. Everyone told me it was a mistake but I didn't listen. I thought I knew what was best and I was wrong."

I propped myself up on his chest. "I just don't know how to get back to that place with her. I've spent so much time being angry and hurt and then later resenting her visions and now I'm relying on them," I scowled as I played with the fine hair on his chest.

Who knew chest hair could be sexy?

Edward cupped my face. "Bella, you had every right to feel those things, don't feel guilty about it. I know Alice misses you and I know she wishes that you could get back to the friendship you once had."

I felt tears burn my eyes. "I don't know how," I admitted.

He leaned up to kiss my mouth. "The good thing about us Cullen's is that you don't have to figure everything out straight away. We have time, so you don't have to rush yourself into anything until you're ready."

I smiled. "I'm just afraid that I've dug myself into a whole with her and I don't know how to get out."

"When you're ready you'll know and most likely so will she," he grinned.

"How about this, if we stick to your plan unless I panic and back out? Then we can go for picnic then have a movie day?" I smiled.

"With the movies you like? I think I'd rather face the newborns alone."

I rolled my eyes. "So, where are we going for our picnic?"

* * *

About an hour later, Edward pulled my truck up at the familiar road.

"Edward, I don't know about this," I groaned.

He turned to stroke a hand down my hair. "Why not?"

_Was he serious?_ I thought as I leaned forward to fiddle with the radio station. One of the things that Edward hadn't taken away when he'd left was the CD player for my truck that Emmett had gotten me.

I remember the day when I had taken a screw driver and tried to dig it out. Jessica and Angela had pulled up and called me crazy. That if I was going to keep something then I should keep something I could actually use. If not I was going to have to buy a new one and why would I want to spend my money because of him.

"The last time I was here I wasn't in a very good place, Edward," I admitted.

He used his vampire speed, picnic basket in hand, to move around and open my door. "Well, we're all about moving on at the moment, too. Why don't we move past this one? Don't let one bad memory ruin so many good ones, Bella," he said tenderly.

I took a deep breath. "I'm not hiking my ass up there."

Edward grinned as he pulled me out of the truck with gentle hands, not pausing as he swung me around so I could cling onto his back. "I would never dream of it."

With that Edward was off and I squeezed my eyes closed and waited for the ride to be over. Soon Edward came to a slow and then to a stop.

Opening my eyes, I saw that we were smack bang in the middle of our meadow.

Now that I had calmed down and in a much better place I could feel shame and heart ache as I looked around and saw what I had done.

Dead flowers lay scattered on the ground, chunks of wood were here and there and the bushes and trees that lined the perfectly round meadow looked like a drunken _Edward Scissor hands_ had attacked them.

"Look what I did," I breathed in horror. "What was I thinking?" I whispered as I walked around the meadow that I had destroyed.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist, supporting me even after what I had done to a place that he'd felt peace in before he even met me. "You were hurt and angry and trying to prove that you didn't need me. Its okay, Bella."

I shook my head. "It's not okay. I shouldn't have done this. At the time it was like a statement. I was going to destroy the place where you had promised me everything. Now I just see destruction and stupidity," I hissed as I bent to gather up dead flowers.

Edwards's cold hands stopped mine, his fingers tipping my chin so I was forced to look into his eyes. "I know a lot about destruction and stupidity. I guess we're a lot more alike than either of us ever knew," he chuckled.

"Don't," I whispered. "Don't try and make me feel better about this." I got to my feet and made my way around the meadow, clearing away as much as I could while Edward took the other side.

Within ten minutes the meadow was clean and though it looked like it had seen better days it made me feel a little better to see it cleared.

"Come on, Bella," Edward called.

I turned to see he'd already set up the picnic in the middle of the meadow and sat on the old blanket, waiting for me.

With a smile, I strolled over to him. Edward raised his arms and pulled me down so that I sat on his lap. "Best seat in the house," I joked as I stretched out my legs.

The day was pretty humid despite the clouds so I had just thrown on cutoff jeans, sneakers and an old t-shirt. I decided I'd made the right choice as Edward toyed with the frayed hem.

"I like this," he murmured. "I like sitting here with you and feeling... human," he finished with a small chuckle.

Smiling, I told him something I never had before. "I used to hate being human. It seemed to always in our way. I thought that if I wasn't human we wouldn't have half as much problems. I wanted to be a vampire, like you. It was until later, when I was alone and with my friends that I realised how awesome humanity is."

"Really?" he demanded his voice full of shock.

"Don't sound too surprised," I scolded as I tipped my head back to nip at his jaw.

Edward laughed and poked me in my side. "I just never thought I'd hear that coming from you. Ever," he added wryly.

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to say I told you so or something that's bound to make me want to hit you?"

I felt his silent laughter. "I promise."

Taking a deep breath, I admitted something I thought I would rather be dead that say to him. "In a way, I am glad that we separated. Not because I didn't miss you," I rushed to add. "I missed you every day, even when I thought I hated you," I laughed.

"Go on," he encouraged when I went quiet.

"I always felt... less, I suppose and that's not on, that's on me. You always made me feel beautiful and special, but I didn't feel it. I felt like I was always such an inconvenience. I was always afraid of cutting my finger or tripping over and scraping my knee or even shaving my legs when you stopped over," I listed off all the things I had dreaded without a breath.

"I didn't know," he admitted quietly. "I thought I did, but only to some extent."

"It's not your fault, Edward. It's mine. I shouldn't have been in a relationship if I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. If I was always going to compare myself to another species. When you left, it gave me time to get to know myself and like myself," I chuckled.

"I'm glad," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to my head.

"So, while I will never admit this again, I'm glad you did what you did. I'm not rushing through my life anymore, Edward. I'm not desperate to be turned just so I can match up to impossible expectations. I like who I am and I like where I am at the moment."

As we sat there quietly, I said after a while, "I did miss you, though. I didn't let myself believe that for a really long time, but I did miss you. In one of my books he says that after the woman gets into an accident, he walked up to her and realizes that he loves her and she's the one for him. He just think's 'There she is'." I turned to kiss his chin. "There he is," I whispered.

Edward looked into my eyes, emotion churning in them. "There she is," he whispered back. "I missed you, too, but I'm glad also. Look at you, confident and sassy and everything you were always afraid to be. While I regret what I did because of how it hurt us both, I can't regret what it did for you and your belief in yourself."

"Me too," I smiled. "I think this will be good for you. We know each other a lot better and I'd like to think we understand each other a little better. Hopefully we won't make the same mistakes this time around."

"We won't," he promised as he held me tight. "You know what I love about this, Bella?"

I smiled. "Having me back?" I teased.

"Well, that too," he snickered. "I love that we can sit here, in the quiet and I don't feel like a vampire like I used to. When we would come here or anywhere for that matter, I always felt like I was a vampire. Now? I feel like a man and that's thanks to you."

I grinned as I tickled the hair on his arms with my fingers. "Wow, I am doing really well today," I giggled.

"I'm happy, Bella. I am so happy."

I blinked up at him and the utter sincerity in his voice. At the emotion I heard there. Leaning forward, Edward kissed the tears away that had fallen.

"I love you," I whispered. "I'm so happy your back."

"I'm happy we're back," he smiled.

I sighed peacefully until I looked around at the meadow. "I still can't believe I thought this was a good idea. In my defense, it really made sense at the time."

Edward chuckled. "You want to know that great thing about this meadow, Bella, and about life? There's always a time to put things right. I of all people believe that now. We can come up here, plant some new bushes, get some more flowers and it will be just like before. I don't think we should, though."

"What?" I demanded. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Because this is out place. It always has been and it should represent us. And as it grows and mends. Like we have."

I sighed. "Wow, you seem to be on top form today," I laughed.

After we had eaten, well I had, Edward had hand fed me which I was down for. He turned to me and smiled. "So, how about going back to my place?"

Looking around the meadow and then at Edward, I thought that if this place could heal and our relationship could heal, then so could Alice and I.

"Let's go."

He grinned down at me. "That's my girl."

* * *

On the drive over, Edward scowled as he drove. "Do you have anything other than country?" he demanded.

"Hey!" I protested. "You're the one who had a CD of country songs. You're the one who asked me to dance last night... To a country song!" I finished triumphantly.

He really needed to get over his aversion to country music. It was my favorite genre and that wasn't about to change because his taste in music sucked.

"That was different," he scowled. "I was missing you and every damn song reminded me of you. Now I have you, I don't need to listen to it anymore."

I turned to give him a bland look. "You're losing points. You do realize that as long as you're with me, you're going to have to listen to it. It's beautiful. What other song can you think of that's about running down a guy and going to jail and still sound so beautiful."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to do something drastic."

I bared my teeth at him. "You hurt my music and I'll throw your ass out of this truck while it's moving."

"No you wouldn't, you love me."

"I love Alan Jackson more," I countered.

He sighed. "You give the woman your undying love, your heart on a platter and she'd rather have a man old enough to be her grandfather."

"When he sings's like that? You bet your ass." I said as I propped my feet up on the dashboard. "What time are we meeting the Jacob and the rest of the pack?" I asked changing the subject before I really did throw his ass out of a moving vehicle.

It wouldn't hurt him.

"Tomorrow night? Are you at work?"

"Nope," I answered as I tapped my feet against the dash board.

"Could it be that you're just a little nervous?" he asked carefully.

I ignored him as I reached for the book that I had stuffed in my bag the other day. I didn't leave home without one. That was my thing. And, since watching an Olan Rogers video on YouTube, two pennies for the boat man in case I died.

That video was funny.

"Bella," Edward prompted.

I opened the book with more force than necessary. "I am not nervous."

He actually laughed beside me as he placed a hand on my thigh. "Why are you nervous? Alice will already know, which means my family will."

I glared out the windshield. "Oh, yeah, your family knows. I was the one who practically told you as a collective to go to hell and now I'm back. How am I supposed to react to that? How are they going to react to that?"

Edward rubbed his hand soothingly up and down my thigh. It did nothing to calm me. It did make me want to pull over and attempt to steam up the windows, though.

"I think they'll be happy for both of us. They have always understood and supported us, Bella."

"Not Rosalie," I reminded him. "That girl has hated me from the begging because you liked me and because I was human. Now, the girl she had finally gotten rid of is back. She'll probably attack us both."

Edward sighed. "Rosalie just likes to be different, I think. Who cares what she thinks? Look at me," he ordered, snatching the book away until I did. "All that matters is that we're working on us. I don't care what Rosalie, or any of my family thinks about this. All that matters is us, okay?"

Knowing I was being a bitch, I nodded. "Okay. I'm just nervous," I admitted then glared at him, daring him to say I told you so.

He was smart and didn't. Instead he brought my hand up to his mouth and brushed a kiss against it. "There's no need to be. Everyone will be happy your home."

Home. I liked the sound of that.

Pulling up outside the Cullen house, I saw that Alice sat on the steps waiting for us. Edward darted round to open my door and, with my hand tightly in his, led me over to his sister who stood with a patient smile on her face.

"Edward, scram," she ordered.

He chuckled. "I'll let the two of you talk," he murmured and with one last kiss for me, he disappeared, leaving me alone with his sister. With the friend who had left me and I had treated pretty badly since she returned.

* * *

"I know what you're going to say, Bella," she said as we sat on the stairs to talk.

My heart was pounding with nerves and my blood pulsed through my veins. I had been so angry with her and a part of me had needed to hold onto the anger, but when I had forgiven Edward, I knew I would have to forgive Alice.

I had just never thought that I may need forgiveness also.

"Oh, Bella, don't be ridiculous. Why on Earth would you apologize to me? I've known from the very beginning that this would happen. Why do you think I fought so hard to stay?" she smiled.

I looked into her golden eyes and saw understanding and sorrow. "I blamed you, Alice. I was as harsh on you as I was Edward. I found your venison's to be a pain in my ass and resented them, and you. And now, when we're in trouble, I'm grateful for them. That isn't fair."

Alice surprised me by laughing. "Don't you think that my family feels the way? I know my visions can be annoying. I know that I can be and I understand that. I always have where you're concerned. I want to say I'm sorry though, Bella. I've used my visions to get you and Edward back together shamelessly," she smirked. "I missed you and knew that until you forgave Edward you couldn't forgive me. So Seattle, the other times I used my visions, I kind as saw whatever happened and collateral damage and I'm sorry."

"Collateral damage?" I demanded.

She shrugged her tiny shoulders. "I knew that I would cause resentment, anger, even hurt while I tried to get you and Edward back together."

I sighed. "I should be angry, but the thing is I'm tired of it, Alice. I have been angry for nine months and I'm tired. I don't want to be a hypocrite, either. It's not fair for me to tell you to stop looking for my future and then all but demand it when I want."

Alice smiled softly and placed a cold hand on mine. "You don't have to feel bad about that, Bella. You had gotten used to living a completely human life and gotten to a part where you were happy with it. How were you supposed to feel when the people who left you behind came back and started making decisions and interfering where they weren't welcome?"

I took a deep breath and asked the question I had wanted to for almost a year. "Why did you leave? Why didn't you talk to me before or answer one of my calls or emails?"

Shame filled her eyes as well as pain. "I knew what it would do to you," she whispered. "I knew the pain that you would be in. I also knew that Edward wouldn't return for a long time. He's too stubborn when it comes to you," she laughed.

"At first I told him to go to hell," she admitted. "You weren't just his mate, you were my friend. But you didn't see the look in his eyes, Bella, when he realised what he had to do. Or what he thought he should do," she corrected herself. "I have never seen that look in his eyes. Jasper couldn't be around him, it was just too much pain. I didn't feel like I could stomp my foot and make demands when I saw that kind of anguish."

I nodded my head in understanding. I may not have liked it, but I'd seen that look in Edward's eyes a time or two... I wouldn't have been able to either.

"Can you understand, Bella, that he's my brother and best friend? While I didn't like and didn't agree with what he was doing, I had to support him. What would you have done if it were Angela or Jessica asking you to stand by them?"

I frowned. I'd never thought of it that way. I'd always seen it as, yes Edward was her brother, but I was her friend. The thing was Edward had always told me how close he and Alice were because, I his words, they were freaks among a world of freaks.

What if it was Jessica or Angela asking me to stand by their decision? I wouldn't have hesitated, I thought, that's what friends do. They stand by each other, even when the other is wrong.

"I didn't answer your calls because what could I say? I knew it would be a long time before he came back and Id given him my word that I wouldn't tell you. Plus, I saw Jessica and Angela coming into your life and helping you in a healthy way. It wasn't until I decided enough was enough that I showed Edward the clips of you on YouTube," she giggled.

"You saw them?" I asked.

She smiled at me. "I've seen everyone and I was so proud of the person who you have become. I was always worried about you. You always had such insecurities; I thought that if you were changed then you'd have to deal with them forever." She cringed. "I don't think Edward will appreciated bringing up conversion," she added but didn't sound too worried about her brothers temper.

I smiled. "I'm not really thinking about that anymore. I came to a place where I thought it was impossibility so I tried to find the good in being human. That's when I realised that it's pretty awesome. I've grown up a lot in the past months. I'm not going to make demands I don't fully understand."

"Wow," she said in surprise. "I never thought I'd hear that coming out of your mouth. What happened to the girl who would have thrown herself out Edward's teeth if it meant changing?"

I scowled at her teasing. "She grew up and realised that to make a relationship work you have to have compromise. I also realised that I had no idea the struggles I would have to face and was being obnoxious in ignoring the advice of someone whose been there and lived through it."

Alice smiled. "Good for you, Bella."

I nodded. "Also, I don't give up chocolate just yet," I joked making her laugh.

"Are we going to be okay?" she asked me.

I blinked in surprise. She was asking me, not looking into our immediate future. Finally doing what I asked, I thought with a smile.

"You tell me," I replied, meeting her halfway.

She grinned at me. "The outcome looks good."

* * *

Alice and I walked into the living room where Emmett and Jasper sat watching the football game, Rosalie sat reading a magazine. I looked for Edward and saw that he was setting up a chess board in the dining room.

He walked over to us as we walked in. "I thought we might play a game."

I scowled at him. "I don't think so, you cheat."

He looked offended. "I do not cheat," he denied.

"Yes, he does!" Emmett shouted from his spot in front of the television. I laughed as he sat there cross legged like a child.

"I'm going to watch the game with him. You and Alice can play together because I remember just how many times I've lost in the past."

He gave me a smug smile. "Do you think that might have something to do with your lack of skill rather than me cheating?"

I scowled up at him. "Well, you're staying at home tonight," I drawled as I walked away and heard the laughter of his siblings.

All except Rosalie of course, I thought. I shrugged. You couldn't win everyone over, I guess.

Sitting next to Emmett on the floor I asked, "Whose winning?"

He grinned at the television. "My boys, of course."

I looked at the names of the teams playing. "Not for long," I said with confidence.

Jasper raised his eyebrows as he joined us on the floor, keeping Emmett between us, but I understood.

Emmett waggled his eyebrows. "Care to make it interesting? Hundred bucks say my team wins."

I smirked at him. "I'll take that bet. Edward I need cash," I yelled and brought on a round of laughter from the males beside me.

Edward came in shaking his head and tossed me his wallet. "Gambling away my money." He turned to Emmett. "No, I won't tell you who will win and Alice won't look ahead."

"Dude," Emmett protested as Edward walked away.

I turned on Emmett with a disgusted expression. "Trying to cheat while we're gambling. For shame."

For the next hour we cheered, we ribbed on the team and at point we were all but acting as coach.

"Move your ass. Move your ass!" I yelled as Emmett chanted. "Defense! Defense!"

In the end my team won, just like I had predicted and I held my hand out to Emmett. "Pay up, buddy."

He glowered as he shoved the note into my hand. "I liked you a lot better when you were sweet and quiet."

I laughed. "Oh yeah? You'll get over it."

* * *

Later that night Edward and I lay on my bed watching old movies. He'd charmed his way back into staying by congratulating my on my superior gambling skills and bringing his flat screen over to my house.

He'd set it up and looked rather sexy, I must admit while he was doing it. That led to another make out session on the bed. We were getting so good at that.

As I ate dinner with my dad, Edward had gone out to hunt, returning just as I entered my bedroom for the night. His eyes were once again the gold color I adored as he stripped to his underwear and climbed in bed.

A tradition was in the making and I knew I would like it.

"Big day tomorrow," I whispered as I lay back against his chest, watching the characters dance around on the screen.

I felt his arms tighten around me. "Don't worry about the wolves. No one's going to come to blows and I promise not to snap Black's neck."

Scowling at him I said, "That's not fair. All Jacob did was love me and I hurt him. Besides, I didn't mean our meeting with them. I meant going to school and telling Jessica and Angela that we're back together. They hate you," I laughed. "Do you have any idea the amount of times they wanted to teepee your house?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "And I'll win them over," he promised. "Have no worries, Bella. We can find a way to overcome anything. Even your protective friends."

I lay there in his arms and smiled. We could.

I knew that tomorrow and even the next day would bring hardships. Every day the newborns got closer. Every day the threat against the people I loved and I got nearer. I knew there would be times when I would worry and fear for everything I held dear. But not tonight.

Tonight was perfect. There were no newborns, no wolves, no Victoria. Just Edward and I watching old movies in bed.

Life didn't get better.

**A/N** What do you think? I'm really enjoying human life between them. How about you?


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N**Hi guys! Sorry for the late update, but I've had crazy busy weekend at work and I got a cold sore which has swollen the left side of my lower lip. I look like Sloths ugly little sister at the moment.

Also, I have uploaded my own original story to Fiction Press, I don't if I'm supposed to advertise that on here, but it's Alpha's Heart in the romance section. I just uploaded tonight and would love some feedback!

**BPOV**

Monday morning I pulled up in Fork's High parking lot, nervous and excited and the same time. Today I would tell my best friends that I was back with the guy who had once shattered my heart into a million pieces.

This could either go two ways; they could be excited for me or they could potentially have me carted off to a mental asylum. In my opinion Angela would be door number one and Jessica door number two.

Edward had wanted to drive me to school and face them together. I had vetoed that idea. I didn't want to be one of those girls who walk up to the friends who were there for them in the crappiest hour and say something stupid like 'We come as a couple' or 'If you want me in your life you have to accept him too'.

Edward had tried to understand, but I could tell he didn't agree. He wanted people to know we were back together, which I did too. I just wanted to be respectful to my friends who had supported me and loved me even when I wasn't exactly best friend material.

I spotted the silver Volvo as soon as I pulled up. Edward, Alice and Jasper stood talking amongst themselves and I offered them all a smile as I made my way over to Jessica's car where my two best friends stood talking.

_Here goes nothing_, I thought with a laugh.

I was about to just say, rip off that band aid when I noticed the frown on Jessica's face and the anger and hurt that battled in her blue eyes.

Thoughts of Edward and I and our reconciliation flew from my mind as I sped up to meet them.

"What's wrong?" I demanded as I came to a halt.

Jessica bit her lip. "That's just it, I don't know."

Angela gave me a look. "It's Jack."

Jack? I thought in confusion. What was wrong with Jack? And now I thought about it, where was he?

"What about him? Where is he?" I asked as I glanced around. Ever since the two had gotten together, Jack would drive to school and immediately meet up with Jessica in the parking lot. Even when they were keeping their relationships under wraps they had tried to act casual about it.

"He's with the guys. Acting as if I don't exist," Jessica bit out.

"I don't understand," I admitted. "Start from the beginning."

Jessica sighed as she slumped against the car door. "Everything was fine... Until yesterday. We went to the wedding; it was beautiful and romantic. Jack was wonderful all night. Then towards the end of the party he just went all quiet. Refused to dance, barely spoke to me and then took off early. I tried calling him, to see what was wrong and he told me nothing was wrong. That he would see me at school tomorrow. Now he's off with the guys and I have no idea what is wrong with him." Her voice trembled as she finished and I frowned.

"Maybe he just didn't feel well. Or maybe he had a run in with Mike at the wedding. Did you see them together? Or maybe he saw you two together and got jealous. Guy's do that, it's all that testosterone," I shrugged.

Jessica shook her head. "Mike was there with Lauren. Apparently she and Tyler have broken up yet again and she's rebounding with Mike," she rolled her eyes. "Besides, we were with Mike and Lauren even hung out with us for a while. They were both... Nice," she pretended to shudder.

I shrugged. "I don't get it then."

"I think he's hiding something from me and I'm going to find out," she replied firmly.

"How?" Angela wondered. "If the guy won't talk to you about it, how are you going to figure out what's wrong with him?"

An evil glint came into Jessica's eyes, draining away some of the worry and nerves. "Not me Angela, us," she corrected with a smile.

Her smile was contagious, as was that glint in her eyes. "How?" I asked with a grin.

"We are going to skip first period and search his locker for clues!" she clapped her hands.

"His locker?" I drawled. I at least thought we'd break into his car.

Jessica nodded her head. "Yes, he keeps his phone in there between classes. We can sneak in, search for clues and figure out this mystery." With that she climbed into her car to hideout until the bell rang.

As I went to open the door, Angela placed a hand on my shoulder. "Are we going to support this? Skipping class? Breaking into her boyfriend's locker to completely invade his privacy?"

I smiled at her. "Hell yeah! We haven't done anything this fun in weeks!"

* * *

Poking my head around the empty hallway, I waved my hand behind me to signal it was all clear. With my back to the wall, I hurried down the corridor lined with lockers on my tip toes. Less sound, I thought with a smile.

Angela and Jessica walked down the hallway casually. "Bella, are you humming the tune the Mission Impossible?" Angela laughed.

"Ssh," I hissed. "We don't want to alert Five -0."

"What?" Angela demanded with a frown. "What are you talking about?"

I rolled my eyes and continued to scurry down the hallway, ignoring the sting of the small padlocks as they scraped continuously against my back.

Jessica laughed as she strolled alongside Angela. "Oh, leave her alone. She's having fun. One of us should be," she muttered anxiously.

"Jess, you're not going to find anything. Maybe it's just something at home, maybe he's got a lot of pressure from school at the moment," Angela tried to reason with her.

Jessica fluffed hair. "If it was school or home he would have talked to me. He's had problems before and he's always talked to me. He's hiding something... or maybe he's just gone off me," she added quietly.

I cringed inwardly at the pain I heard in her voice. Mike had dumped Jessica and had created a lot of insecurities. One of them had been that she was afraid she wasn't special enough to keep him.

_Now where had I heard that before_? I thought dryly.

Honestly, I doubted very much that Jessica had anything to worry about. Jack loved her, worshipped her even. I had watched for a long time as he watched Jessica from afar. She had nothing to worry about, but I knew she wouldn't be able to settle until she knew.

Besides, this was fun! Sneaking around school like spies, missing calculus, and getting to break into Jack's locker. What more could a girl want on a Monday morning?

"Here it is," I hissed towards my friends.

Angela gave me a bland look. "We know, Bella, we walk past it nearly every day. I will admit it does look different without Jess and Jack sucking face against it," she added with a grin. "What about this?" she asked as she gave the padlock a small tug.

I squared my shoulders. "No worries. Let me handle this. I'm going to need quiet and a pencil," I added before I pressed my ear to the cold metal locker door.

"Uh... Bella?" Jessica said from behind me.

"Hush," I hissed as I began to twirl the dial. "Don't you worry, Jessica, I'll have you into this in no time. I've watched _The Italian Job,_ like, ten times," I added, ignoring the girls snickering from behind me.

"For the love of God, Bella," Jessica giggled as she pulled my head away. "I know the combination."

I huffed. "Why didn't you say that in the first place?" I demanded.

"Why do you have the combination?" Angela asked suspiciously. "Did he give it to you? If he did this is useless. He's not going to hide his deep, dark and dirty secrets in a locker you have access to," she pointed out as she leaned against the walls.

"Give me a little credit?" Jessica rolled her eyes. "I watched anytime he opened his locker."

Angela laughed. "You're sneaky."

"You're a genius," I countered. "Wait!" I snapped as she went to open the door. "Snake in the mail box."

"What?" They demanded in unison.

I gave them both an incredulous look. "Who are you people? It's code for something very unpleasant. We have to tread carefully," I advised solemnly.

"You have to stop watching bad late night movies," Jessica quipped as she opened Jack's locker.

"Fine," I huffed. "But let me tell you now, if something jumps out, or bites or hisses... I called it."

"Okay."

With that, she opened the locker to find... well, guy stuff.

There was a sports magazine, some sort of protein drink, deodorant. "Is that a skin mag?" I laughed.

"No," Angela scowled. "But he does have a very cute picture of Jess crammed in the door. He's such a chick," she snickered.

While Angela and I mocked Jack's manhood, Jessica snatched his phone and began looking through it like a woman on a mission. Which we were...

When she made a choking sound, both our eyes shot to her face. "What is it?" Angela demanded.

Jessica's eyes filled with tears as she shoved in into Angela's hand and continued to search through the locker.

"Well?" I demanded as Angela's eyes grew large.

"It's a text message from Lauren saying that she had a great time the other night and they should do it again. And not to worry, she wouldn't say a word to Jess."

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. This didn't sound good. "Wait, it has to be something innocent. No way would Jack cheat on you and not with Lauren," I insisted.

"Really?" Jessica challenged. "Then what's this?" she asked as she pulled out a red bra from deep inside the locker. "It's not mine," she said before either of us could even speak, tears rolling down her cheeks.

My heart broke for her. If I had ever thought that this was a possibility I wouldn't have encouraged breaking into his locker. Jack loved Jessica... or so I thought. I couldn't find a reason why he would have a text message from Lauren on his phone and a trashy bra in his locker.

"I'm going to kill him," she growled as she stormed off.

Rushing after her, Angela and I each grabbed an arm and tugged her back to the locker. Tossing Jack's shit back inside, I slammed it shut and turned back to my friend.

"Don't do anything rash," I advised.

"Rash?" she demanded. "I'm going to shave his balls with a rusty blade. And then I'm going to cut them off!"

"Yeah, and if all this is what it looks like then I'll be the one to tie and gag him," I promised. "I just don't want you to go rushing off and torturing the guy before we have all the facts. I mean this is Jack."

"Well, what should I do then, Bella? Because I cannot just wait around for him to shred my heart," she snapped.

"I know. It's just... there's got to be some explanation. Give him the chance to tell you."

I know it sounded stupid, but I just couldn't believe it. Hiding a bra in your locker? It didn't seem very smart and Jack was smart. The text message from Lauren, well it looked bad but I'm sure it could all be innocent. I hoped it was all innocent.

"Fine," She sighed. "I won't drag his ass out of English and confront him, but I can't be around him at the moment."

"Okay," I nodded. "We can avoid him. You only really see him at lunch on Mondays. We could go outside, it's not raining. If he asks we can say its girl talk. Blame it on me," I shrugged.

"Fine," she said with a shrug. "I'll give him twenty four hours. If he doesn't tell me what's up in that time, I'll go to him."

"That's fair," Angela said as she rubbed Jessica's arm.

She looked up at the two of us, her eyes filling with tears. "I really need there to be an explanation for this. Losing Mike was one thing, but Jack... I thought he was different."

I nodded my head as I pulled her into my arms. "I know he is. I am so sorry, Jess," I apologized.

"Why? You aren't the one who might be cheating on me with a slut from hell," she laughed.

"No," I replied. "I'm just the one who encouraged our little spy game. I thought maybe you'd find a skin mag. Box of condoms he's waiting to us with you," I laughed.

She nodded. "I think that's what I expected to find, too. It was what I needed to find. But I didn't."

"No, you didn't," I agreed as I brushed a hand down her hair. "Just give him time to come to you. We might be over reacting," I added desperately. I needed for us to be over-reacting. So did Jack because if he was slutting it around with Lauren then there would be no one on the planet who could keep him safe.

As the bell rung Jessica pulled away. "I'm going to get to my next class. I don't want to risk bumping into him."

"Do you want us to walk you?" Angela offered. Though her voice was soft and gentle, I could see the fire in her eyes. Fire that was so rarely there it always shocked me.

"No thanks," Jessica shook her head. "I just want a little time to think. I'll meet you outside the cafeteria?"

"Sure," I answered and then watched as she walked away with her head down, her shoulders hunched. "You were right," I whispered. "We shouldn't have done this."

"No," Angela denied. "You were. As much as I hate what just happened and as much as I don't want it to be true, if Jack is dicking around then she needs to know."

"I've never seen her look so hurt," I whispered. "Do you think this is a football field moment?" I asked, thinking of the time they had taken me out to the football field to get out my anger and pain at Edward's departure.

"I don't know, but I hope not. For Jessica. And for Jack and Lauren because God help both of them if this is true," she said darkly.

* * *

The rest of the morning past with me worrying endlessly about Jessica and trying to find a website where I could order tools to use as torture devices. I couldn't find any that would allow me to order them, but I had found a great website page with horrific Russian torture devices...

When the bell rang for lunch, I hurried to the cafeteria and jumped onto the bench to wait for my friends to show up.

After a few minutes, Angela came out of the cafeteria with Jessica and two huge trays of food in hand. I turned to gape at them. "How did you get here before me?"

Jessica let out a wry laugh. "It's amazing how quickly you move when you're trying to avoid someone. Didn't work," she gave a shake of her head.

"What? You saw Jack? When?"

Angela sat down beside me. "Which question should she answer first?"

Ignoring Angela, Jessica turned to me with a small smile. "I saw him outside my second class. We did that kind of awkward bump into each other where we have almost painful small talk and when he went to kiss my cheek, I went to walk away and then I went to come back but then he went walk away... I looked like a praying mantis."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing at the image. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she drawled. "It was weird and it's never been weird between us. I asked him if he wanted to come over to my place later, subtly trying to give him the opportunity to tell me about the text and the bra. He said his mom needed him at home tonight."

"It might be true," Angela insisted.

"He was looking at his shoes as he told me and I know for sure that his mom works on Monday night's. He normally comes over or I go over to his since I don't work Mondays."

My shoulders slumped. "It's not looking good."

"Nope," she said as she bit into a pizza slice with a vengeance. "He has until tomorrow after school and then I'm confronting him. If he tells me he was about to dump me for that skank then let the torture begin."

"I found a great website with awesome and horrific ideas," I smiled at her.

"You're such a good friend," she smiled as she dropped her head onto my shoulder. Angela gave us a look.

"Your friend who will get put away for life if anyone ever checks her internet history."

I brushed off her words. Mainly because it was true.

"Okay, I don't know if I should even ask this question but what if he did cheat and regret's it? What if he's sorry and knows he did something stupid and wants to make it up to you?" I asked carefully.

Jessica blinked. "Would I forgive him? No. He has made so many promises about being different and loving me and making plans," she shrugged. "Maybe in, like, twenty years I could think about forgiving him, but I would never give him another chance."

I pulled out my phone. "So I can take my cart to checkout?"

My joke worked, Jessica laughed.

"How about we have a girl's night?" Angela suggested. "We can get movies where one of them dies or mock the happy ending's that are completely unrealistic. I have a crap load of those mud masks left and we can do our nails. We could even break into your dad's liquor cabinet and truly end the night in style."

I shook my head at Angela. Weren't preacher's daughters supposed to be sweet and innocent?

It was then that it hit me that I already had plans. Tonight was the night when we would meet the wolves to go over newborn fighting with Jasper.

I frowned. "I have plans, but I can get out of it," I promised. I would, too. I wasn't really needed there. The Cullen's and the wolves were in a kind of truce at the moment, though it was tenuous at best.

"What plans?" Jessica asked curiously.

Inwardly I groaned. I didn't want to tell her, not now, but I also didn't want to lie to her. "I have plans with Edward," I mumbled.

Of course they both heard. "Edward?" They screeched. "Details," Jessica ordered.

"You mean Edward Cullen? The guy whose death I have been personally plotting for the better part of a year, Edward Cullen?" Angela demanded.

I couldn't help but laugh. Everyone thought Angela was meek and quiet, but the girl had quite a tongue on her and a thirst for blood that could rival any newborns at times.

"Talk," they both snapped.

"Well, we kind of just had it out. We fought, we yelled, we communicated and it ended with him pressing me up against the wall and kissing the crap out of me."

For the first time all day Jessica's eyes didn't hold any sadness or hurt. They were bright with the news.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded.

"Well, we still had a lot of things to sort through and then I was going to tell you both in person this morning, but... With everything that happened it just didn't seem the time."

Jessica scoffed and lightly punched my arm. "Bella, if a meteor is about to hit and destroy us all, you still turn to me and tell me you got back with your ex. Even if it would have been for a brief moment of time before we all perished."

I laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. It just didn't seem right; I didn't want to tell you my good news when you had just told me some really shitty news. Then I really got into breaking into his locker," I added with a grin.

"Well who wouldn't?" Angela teased. "So? Tell us what the hell changed. Only days ago you were saying how you couldn't forgive him that you wouldn't let him back into your life and you should have avoided him when you first came to town."

"Coulda, woulda, shoulda," Jessica muttered.

Angela rolled her eyes. "What's happening?"

"We kind of had a run in with Jacob," I began and nodded when they both flinched. They knew all about the Jacob situation and my guilt at hurting him. "Edward's been giving me my space lately and I realised that, well, I still love him. So then I run into him and Jacob and then afterward he made some crack about Jacob being a better match for me."

"Why would Jacob be a better match for you?" Jessica demanded. "He's young, hot headed and to be honest a little bit of a sucker for punishment."

"Say what you really think, Jess," Angela muttered.

Jessica glared at her. "I'm going through something; I can be brutally honest if I want to. Go on, Bella," she encouraged.

"Anyway," I grinned. "I snapped at him. Here I was all about moving on and getting past what had happened and here he was talking shit about a guy he didn't even like being better for me. Like he knows," I scoffed.

"You go girl!" Jessica cheered.

"So, I yelled at him, he yelled back and in the end I just told him to tell me what he wanted and that's when he kissed me," I smiled and then proceeded to give them the play by play of the kiss and the stuff we did after the kiss.

Jessica and Angela both gaped at me. "That is really sexy," Jessica breathed.

"Wait, I thought your relationship with Edward had always been kind of chaste," Angela frowned.

I nodded. "It had. Edward, for private reasons, always had so many rules and lines not to be crossed and I just kind of went along with it. I'm not that girl anymore, though," I shrugged. "I'm not blaming this on him. I realised that we both made mistakes. We both kept things back and hid what we were thinking and feeling and I don't want to make that mistake again. I'm going with communication from now on. It's where we failed before."

Angela blinked. "Wow, that's kind of smart and level headed."

I grinned. "Yes. Edward and I were anything but level headed when it came to our relationship before. I won't let that happen again."

Jessica smiled. "I know you won't. Are you happy? Are you sure about him?"

I nodded slightly. "I am. I tried so hard to hide my love for him because it hurt and I didn't want to hurt anymore. I just about managed to think I was over it, over him and then I dug out the shirt."

"The shirt?" They asked together.

"I had this shirt of his and I kind of hid it away. When I dug it out I had to face that I still loved him. When his mom gave me a CD of his that he'd made and was listening to, I knew I wanted him back. It was of all the country song's I had been playing or singing along to," I explained at their questioning glance. "Edward hates country music but he listened to it because it reminded him of me."

"That's really sweet. Now I hate Jack all the more!" Jessica burst out.

I couldn't help but laugh. "I still say don't write him off just yet. So, tonight? I could call Edward tell him that a girls night is on the cards."

She shook her head. "I just kind of want to be alone and wallow tonight. Besides, what if he does call or come over and I've got a mud mask on." She shrugged. "I'm giving him until after school tomorrow so I can wait a couple of days for a girl's night."

Angela nodded. "Well, we all have shifts tomorrow so we could do Wednesday. I can tell Ben to get lost for the night. He'll love it, he wants to have a _Star Wars _marathon and I refuse to watch it."

Jessica nodded. "That sound's really good. I just hope it turns out okay."

I shared a glance with Angela. "We do, too."

* * *

After school I stood there the parking lot, leaning against my truck door and kept my eyes the back of Jack's head.

There needed to be an explanation and it needed to be the right one. I trust Jack and I liked him. He was good for Jessica, or so I had always thought.

"Stop worrying," a familiar voice whispers in my ear. I didn't jump; I knew he would come as soon as school was over. The plan was to hang out at the Cullen's until it was time to meet the pack. Something everyone was a little nervous about.

"Can you read him?" I asked as I slipped my arms around Edward's waist. I hadn't realised how much I had missed him until this moment.

He looked down at me with soft eyes. "I'm sorry. I've been trying to catch his thoughts all day, but there's been nothing about what's wrong with him. If it makes you feel any better, I don't believe it. I've been in Jack's mind before and I've seen how much he loves Jessica."

"Then why the text's and the bra?" I demanded. "I hate seeing her so sad," I hissed as I watched her pull out of the parking lot without a glance in Jack's direction. If he noticed, he didn't let it show.

Wasn't that bad anyway you looked at it? Jessica hadn't even been a fleeting thought all day. He hadn't noticed she wasn't there and hadn't noticed when she'd left. I understood that you couldn't always have your girlfriend on your mind, but shouldn't there be something?

Edward tipped my chin up with his cool finger. "Don't worry. Everything will sort itself out," he promised.

"And what if it doesn't? What if she gets her heart handed to her again?" I demanded.

Edward gave me a slow grin. "Then I'll ditch the whole 'vegetarian' thing just this once."

My jaw dropped, I had never heard Edward make a joke about feeding on humans before. Somewhere inside of me, I felt warm. If Edward could joke about this with me, we were getting closer.

"Good," I replied and leaned up to kiss his lips.

"I've been watching today. I thought you made an adorable spy," he laughed, his cold breath tickling my cheek.

"You did?" I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you. For some reason, Jessica and Angela have no patience for spies."

He smiled. "They don't know what they're missing."

We stood there for a moment, just enjoying being a young couple making out in the school parking lot. It was good.

"Are you ready to face the wolves?" he asked as he trailed kisses down my neck.

People stared, gasped and instantly started gossiping, but I didn't care. I was lost in our own private bubble.

"With you I'm ready for anything."

**A/N** So, there you have it. Poor Jess... And Jack? What do you think? Would you have broken into his locker? I would have. Please review!


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N **Hi guys! I want to apologize for the shamefully late update! The reasons are due to the fact that my bottom lip swollen to the size of Kentucky, works been a pain in my ass and I've just joined the gym so I spend my free time there and then crash when I get back.

Anyway, for those who have forgotten the story (through no fault of their own) I'll give you a recap!

Jess found incriminating evidence to suggest Jack may not be the guy we think he is (But you're not fooled, we love our Jack) and the girls did a little breaking and entering! Jess gave him 24 hours to open up or she was kicking his ass to the curb (my words not hers) and they decided to have a girls night on Wednesday!

Edward and Bella are now on their way to meet the wolves and I haven't put much detail since we all know those moves without me adding my thoughts. Besides it never made sense that Bella could see in detail a vampire battle, mock training or not.

I have used a couple of lines from the movie so this is me saying whatever I should say to say I'm not stealing just kind of borrowing the words, lol!

Enjoy!

**BPOV**

We arrived at the clearing a little early. A power play, Jasper had called it. This way the pack came into the Cullen's space and not the other way around. I didn't understand any of it, so I had nodded and smiled.

Edward settled me gently to my feet before pulling me into his arms. "What's wrong with her?" I whispered as Alice stood beside Jasper with a scowl on her angelic face.

Edward smiled and pressed a kiss to my temple. "It annoys her that she can't 'see' the wolves," he grinned. "It gives her as close to a headache as our kind can get."

"She should try taking some aspirin," I chuckled.

"I think she'd need a vat," he replied, stroking my hair back from my face. When Alice turned to scowl at the two of us, Edward laughed. "Calm down, Alice. I can hear the wolves; they're on their way now."

"You can hear them?" I asked him.

He nodded slightly. "It's rather amazing. The wolves are connected telepathically so even though I only focus one of the wolves I can still hear what the entire pack is thinking."

"Cool," I shrugged and faced the direction both he and Alice looked in. I couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything, but I knew from the way the Cullen's tensed that the wolves were arriving.

I also noticed how they formed casual barrier around me, protecting me. I gave Edward a slight nudge with my elbow. He just gave me an absent smirk, his eyes always trained on the spot where I knew the wolves would enter the clearing.

The wolves came from the shadows like in some horror movie, I would have laughed but I thought it would make the situation more uncomfortable than it already was.

From beside me, Edward muttered, "They don't trust the newer wolves around us. They'll be staying in their wolf form."

Carlisle nodded. "We can't blame them."

Emmett scoffed "Like hell we can't. These guys are so racist," he winked at me.

When one of the wolves snarled in Emmett's direction he puckered his lips and blew him a kiss. "Emmett," Rosalie hissed, I however threw a wink back at him. He was the only person who could crack at joke with such tension in the air.

The wolves stood with the large black wolf slightly in front, obviously the Alpha. I noticed the russet colored wolf stood at his flank. Jacob.

Part of me wanted to speak to him, to clear the air, but I knew now wasn't the time for that. I also didn't know if he would react any better today than he had all those months ago. He's been hurt, but he'd also been angry.

I wanted to scowl at him. He'd been angry at me for loving someone else, someone who had left without a backward glance, his exact words, and he'd been lying to me. He was a werewolf! Would he have told me, I wondered, if we were still friends?

Doubtful.

"Stay here," Edward told me softly as Alice came to stand by me. He offered me my favorite crooked smile. "And try not to worry. Jessica will be fine," he brushed a kiss to my temple even as I scowled at him. He didn't know me as well as he thought he did.

Edward just grinned before walking over to stand beside Jasper as his brother faced the pack of wolves.

As Alice slipped her arm through mine, I noticed the way the wolves' eyes shot from Edward, to her, to me all the while a look of fury in their eyes. I wanted to snap at them that they shouldn't judge people, good people, they didn't even know. Emmett was right, the wolves were racist.

Edward was also right, I had to admit, and I was worrying about Jessica. Just a little. I couldn't keep from thinking of her face earlier today. Of the sadness so rarely seen in her eyes. Jack better have a good reason for that bra and texts, otherwise I was going to go Drake Donovan on his ass.

I made myself focus on what was happening in front of me when Jasper turned to face the wolves, his hands behind his back in that military stance he was never without. I felt bad for him, out of everyone here Jasper could feel the tension, the animosity, it was Jasper.

"A newborn army doesn't need thousands like a human army, but no human army could stand against them," he told them. "The two most important things to remember are first; never let them get their arms around you. They'll crush you instantly. And second," he added darkly, his golden eyes dark as he spoke to the wolves. "Never go for the obvious kill. They'll be expecting that. And you will lose."

The wolves had been uncomfortable around the Cullen's before, disgusted by their presence, but even I was effected by the sincerity in Jaspers voice. I felt the tension begin to rise at the wolves realised, probably for the first time, just how dangerous the newborns were.

Edward had told me that the wolves were over confident, arrogant about their abilities and that Jasper, despite his dislike of the wolves, hoped to show them just how much that still needed to learn. To help them, he had said. Emmett had grinned and chuckled that now was the time to show the wolves what bloodsuckers were capable of.

"Emmett!" Jasper barked.

With a friendly tap on the ass for Rosalie, Emmett sauntered off to join Jasper. He had explained that Emmett used his strength when fighting, much like a newborn would so it would be easier to demonstrate with him.

"I'll try not to break anything," Emmett chuckled before he and Jasper came head to head.

"Kick his ass, Jasper!" I called out with a grin.

Emmett turned to me with a scowl. "You'll pay for that, human," he growled playfully.

I blew him a kiss. "Edward would never let you lay a finger on me, would you baby?" I smiled over at Edward who gave me a smile.

"He's got to leave you alone sometime," he replied with an evil laugh that he probably mimicked from a bad, late night movie.

It was fascinating to watch, I admitted, not that I saw much of the battle. Both Jasper and Emmett were fiercely competitive and were not using their vampire speed to try and one up the other. The wolves would most likely find it easy to follow along but to me it went from Jasper and Emmett fight with the occasional blur to just blurry. It reminded me of those cartoon dust balls where everything was chaotic and every now and then you'd catch a glimpse of something.

After the declaring a draw, Jasper switched off with each of the Cullen's. I found it sweet when he fought against Alice and couldn't catch her to save his life. Immortal one or not. Eventually she appeared perched on his back and pressed a sweet kiss to his neck.

"Got you," she giggled.

He grinned. "You truly are a terrifying little monster," he replied affectionately.

I was most interested when Edward and Jasper came together. Edward could read every thought Jasper had, could anticipate his every move so Jasper tried to stick to his instincts as much as possible.

In the end Alice declared it boring and since she'd seen that it would continue that way for quite some time had forced the pair apart. The two grinned at each other before turning towards another member of their family.

With Emmett being the odd one of for the moment he came to me. "Hey, human, Edward's focus is elsewhere for the moment. Prepare to suffer," he growled.

I squealed in excitement and tried to make a run for it, knowing it was useless. Within half a second he had his huge arms around me and was throwing me around like a doll. Of course, I barely felt anything other than that feeling you get when you're on a carnival ride.

Laughing I didn't even try to escape from him, even as he tossed me up into the air and caught me like my dad had when I was a child.

"Oh look," he said urgently. "Eddie and Carlisle go head to head."

I struggled my way to his shoulder so I could get a better look as father and son came to blows. It was weird, I could admit, to see Carlisle attack anyone, never mind Edward who always seemed like not only Carlisle's son but best friend.

He looked dangerous, I thought as I rested my elbows on Emmett's broad shoulder.

Edward on the other hand was laughing his ass off as he dodged hit after hit. He chuckled finally as he slammed Carlisle onto the ground.

Jasper, who had been strolling by on his way to Alice, drawled. "One more thing..."

In the second that Edward turned to face Jasper, Carlisle took the opportunity to swoop Edward's legs from under him.

Jasper rolled his eyes and finished sarcastically, "Never turn your back on your enemy."

Emmett turned to me with an evil glint in his eyes. "It's me and you now, puny human."

I smirked up at the giant of a man. "Bring it on."

**EPOV**

"Good for you, Carlisle! Kick his ass!"

Ignoring the humiliation of getting floored by Carlisle, I got to my feet and turned to face the love of my life as she encouraged my adoptive father to beat me.

With a raised eyebrow I turned to her and scowled. "What the hell are you doing?" I demanded as I rushed over. The last thing I saw Emmett was throwing her around like a rag doll. It wasn't until Alice assured me she would be fine did I let myself breathe and not storm over to my brother and give him a lesson or two in vampire fighting.

I turned to the love of my life only to scowl. The reason for my very existence was in a fight with my mammoth of a brother. Logically, I knew that Emmett would never harm a hair on Bella's head, but logic had nothing on my instincts that saw Emmett throwing a mock blow at Bella's face.

Within half a second I was between them, blocking the blow before it even had the chance of landing. "What do you think you're doing?" I growled.

"I'm taking down your girl, Eddie. Don't worry I'm only using the strength of an average human. It's annoying," he rolled his eyes, "but I didn't want to hurt her."

Bella scoffed from behind me. "Well maybe I'll transform myself into a big old grizzly bear and kick your ass."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Everyone knew that Emmett was attacked by a grizzly bear as a human and had developed a passionate hatred over the years. In his opinion the only good grizzly bear was a dead on. Preferably slaughtered by him.

Emmett snarled down at Bella, who tipped her head back and laughed. "Not so tough against them are you, bug guy?"

Emmett glared at me. "Stand aside, Edward, I'm going to kick her ass."

"Bring it on, Yogi," she snapped as she tried to shove past me.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Only in Bella could think she could take on an irritable vampire and win. Knowing that both were stubborn enough to create an all-out war, I simply picked Bella up and flitted with her over to the opposite end of the clearing.

"Hey!" she protested as I placed her on her feet. "I could have taken him."

I pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Of course you could have," I placated her.

She tried to bat me away but I was already pressing gentle kisses to her neck. Losing myself in all that was Bella. "Oh, stop that! Not only will the wolves think you're having a snack, but Emmett deserves to feel pain!" she ended angrily even as he fingers lifted to run through my hair.

I loved it when she did that. It was as if she were holding me to her, like she never wanted me to let go. I didn't plan on letting go.

I chuckled, she wasn't far off. The wolves' eyes had gone from the battle between my family members to Bella and me. They were on their guard, if they even thought I was a danger to Bella they would attack.

_Leeches_, I heard Black snarl in his thoughts his eyes never leaving Bella even though the sight of her in my arms infuriated him.

I couldn't help but feel both jealous and smug at the same time. I hated seeing the memories he had of him and Bella, of her smiling up at him as they walked along a beach I would never be able to see with my own eyes. Of Bella looking down at an old blanket filled with tools while he laughed at her lack of knowledge and know-how.

I grimaced, a private joke that was theirs.

I felt her soften in my arms and I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts. Here I was building myself into a jealous fit when I had her in my arms. She was mine.

"Don't think I didn't hear you cheering for Carlisle. You're my girl, you're supposed to cheer for me," I growled playfully as I nuzzled her throat.

Bella just laughed at me. "You've always been good at everything. It's about time you learned how to suck," she giggled. "Which you did. I only wish I could have gotten it on tape. You got your ass handed to you, dude."

What did it mean, I thought, that I was starting to find it endearing when she called me dude? I didn't know but I was worried.

I pulled back to scowl down at her. "I'm going to head back before the wolves attack," I grinned. "Try and stay out of trouble."

Bella smiled, reminding me of a mischievous angel. "I promise nothing."

* * *

The wolves were finally starting to understand the danger, I noted with a hint of smugness. For too long, as Emmett had pointed out in the past, they had seen us as not being a threat. Now, as they watched Rosalie and Esme go at it, they saw that while they still thought themselves superior to us, that we were dangerous and that a battle between us would mean lives lost.

I winced as Rosalie tossed Esme through the air before flitting to her and mocked snapping her head off. Rosalie was the only person on the planet who wouldn't hesitate in hurting someone like Esme.

_Edward_, Alice called to me her thoughts filled with humor.

For the last half an hour Bella and Emmett had been left to amuse themselves. I cringed every time I thought of Emmett tossing Bella through the air. It had taken everything not to race over and catches her, not to warn Emmett to be careful when he caught. Not to vow that for every bruise he caused would be another limb I tore from his body.

I turned away from my mother and sister to see Bella throwing her leg onto one of the tree's that had been shoved to the ground when Emmett had lost. To me.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

Bella grunted as she dipped the leg she was standing on. "Stretching," she muttered absently as she leaned forward and I was man enough that I admired the view.

Shaking away my thoughts, I asked, "Why are you stretching?"

Bella huffed impatiently. "Because dickwad over there doesn't think I can make it across the clearing in less than five minutes. Apparently, I'm too slow, weak and all around human to make it. So I am going to run over there in under five minutes and he can suck it," she snapped in his direction.

Emmett grinned from his seat on another damaged log. "She'll never make it. Bella could barely walk when we first met her a few month's won't change that."

Bella stretched out her other leg and I had to make a conscious effort not to let my gaze wander over her body. All because Bella and I had increased over physical relationship did not mean I wasn't a gentleman. Even when I didn't want to be, I thought darkly as she bent forward to touch her toes.

"Bella," I spoke sternly. "We're supposed to be training for the newborns," I reminded her.

Emmett huffed. "We have been training while the dogs watch us like we're scum and Bella like she's a withering petal. I got told to sit out when I through Jasper into a tree and we're bored," he complained.

_Jackass_, I heard Jasper hiss in my mind. I knew he was still annoyed over being tossed through five tree's, not _into one_ like Emmett had claimed.

"Yeah," Bella agreed as she stretched out her triceps. "I can't even see half of what's going on Edward and all the blurring was starting to give me a headache. I planned on having a _One Tree Hill_ marathon tonight. I can't have a headache for that, Edward, it's season eight," she stressed.

_Great_, I thought with sarcasm. While she adored the show and every male on it, I couldn't abide it. Not that I was stupid enough to say that aloud. I didn't mind completely though, she could watch the show and I could have her in my arms for the night. It sounded like a pretty good to me.

As long as she didn't ask me about it because I had no idea what was happening on that show.

"Ready?" Alice asked her as Bella straightened out.

"One sec," she muttered as she strolled over to me and with her hand on the back of my neck, dragged me down for a hot, quick and passionate kiss. "One for the road," she teased as she walked over to the makeshift starting line that one of them had made.

I couldn't believe this, I thought as I watched her jump around on the spot and stretch her neck from side to side like she was about to go ten rounds in a boxing ring. This was meant to be intense, tension filled and full of animosity with the wolves.

The wolves were the only ones that were tense. Bella had made it into some sort of family outing with her bright personality. I had to admit as much as I had loved Bella before, I found myself in awe of her all the more now. I adored the person she had become.

The person who insisted on open communication and ridiculous safe words, the person who loved country music despite my hatred of it and her obsession with television shows and an Atlanean god.

Filled with love for her I watched on as Alice counted down. "Three... two... one!" she called out.

Like a bullet, Bella shot across the clearing with speed that shocked even me. I had never seen her move so fast.

"What the hell?" Emmett muttered dumbfounded as Bella sped through the grass. "What happened when we left? Did she take a trip to Krypton?"

I shook my head in amazement as Bella used one of the broken logs scattered around the clearing to propel her further.

The clearing was huge, one of the man reason's we chose this spot to play baseball and it should have taken her a long time to get across it, but she was already over half way.

"Impressive," I smirked as I watched her run.

With time to spare Bella reached the finish line and collapsed to the ground with a huff. I smiled as I flitted over to the spot where she laying gasping for breath on the damp ground.

"Come on," I chuckled as I took her hand and urged her to her feet. "You'll cramp otherwise."

Bella panted hard, her chest rising and falling as she fought to catch her breath. "Screw cramp," she managed to huff out and all but threw herself at me.

Taking the hint, I swept her into my arms where she promptly flopped her arms out and hung lifelessly in my arms. "I'm never doing that again," she said as she sucked in more air.

I couldn't help the laughter that shook me. "It's your own fault. You'll never manage your marathon tonight, you'll be too exhausted. Battling Emmett of all people before high tailing across a clearing this size. I'll be surprised if you make it back to my house awake."

She shrugged. "There's no way you're getting out of that marathon, Edward, so don't even try it."

Damn.

"Where did you learn to run like that?" Emmett demanded as we rejoined him and the others.

Bella turned to him with a smirk. "Jessica, Angela and I went on fitness hype a few months back. We jogged every morning and hit the gym three times a week. I do believe you owe me a hundred bucks, Cullen," she snickered and snapped her fingers.

Emmett snarled. "You'll get it. I'm going to go and fight Jasper. Hopefully I'll be able to get into it with one of the wolves," he muttered as he stormed away.

"Suck it, Emmett," she called after him as Alice stood next to us giggling at them.

"He'll never get over this," she said with a confident grin. "What a night."

Later that night as Bella lay on her bed and watched the episode with some sort of storm, I traced the line of her tank top, my fingers lingering over the small mole on the rise of her left breast.

"I've never noticed this before," I murmured almost to myself.

"You've never felt me up before," was her wry response as she watched, riveted, to the television show. "Oh, I love this part," she whispered as one of the leading women lay lifeless on the rain soaked bridge while the man who loved her begged for her to fight for her life.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" I asked as I continued to trace along the hem, smiling when my touched raised goose bumps.

"What wasn't to enjoy? The part where the wolves gave you the stink eye before disappearing into the woods, or when they grunted at the idea of meeting again? Or how about the part where Alice and Jasper had to pin Emmett to the ground so I could get his wallet? Trying to back out. A bet's a bet," she muttered in disgust.

"I was referring to seeing us vampires in action," I smiled as I pressed a kiss to her skin and felt like I had won the world when she shivered with desire. "How are your legs?" I asked, remembering the cramps that had plagued her like I had warned.

Even Esme's most stern voice had been able to stop her from cursing like a truck driver.

"They ache like a bitch," she scowled.

Chuckling, I flipped her onto her stomach. Before she could make a sound I began rubbing her legs soothingly. I had offered earlier but she threatened to beat me to death if I touched her legs. I decided not to point out that was impossible.

"God," she groaned as I used my hands to loosen her muscles. "You have the hands of a God."

I leaned forward to run my lips across the nape of her neck. "I do try." Lifting the hem of her shirt, I traced my fingers across her healed tattoo.

Strange, I thought, I had been so disapproving of this simple tattoo that I now found kind of... sexy. Very sexy, I corrected as I lowered my head to trace along the swirling line with my tongue, grinning when I heard her sharp intake of breath.

Bella laughed softly beneath me. "If I wasn't in so much pain right now I would be on you and the word flugelhorn would be erased from my vocabulary. And yours," she added with a giggle as my fingers whispered over her skin.

"Your beautiful," I murmured as I flipped her again and pressed my body against hers, lowering my mouth to hers and once again let myself be lost in all things that was Bella.

My haven and my heart.

**A/N** So, what you think? Things will get a little tenser between them in the upcoming chapters but, hey, you have to break eggs to make omelets. Is that the saying?


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N **Hi guys! Sorry for late update but... I'm so tired. Gym is kicking my ass. There are cute guys there though! So in this chapter I wanted to set up a fight. Not a we're breaking up and never speaking again fight, but a normal fight. A lot of you know that I have made Edward and Bella as 'human' as I could and that includes fighting! It can be tense, sad, hurtful and even funny!

So read and let me know what you think.

**BPOV**

I sighed as Edward pulled up in the parking lot. Jessica stood there with Angela making an obvious effort to ignore Jack who was on the opposite side of the parking lot with his friends.

"What the hell is wrong with him? Read his mind," I ordered Edward who sat beside me with an indulgent smile on his face that annoyed me.

"Bella, it was the first thing I did when I got in close enough radius to him. Like yesterday, there's nothing there to tell me what's wrong?" he said as he linked our hands together.

I glared through the heavy rain in Jack's direction. "How is that even possible? How can he not have anything up there to tell us what the crap he's doing?"

Edward chuckled as he leaned over to run his fingers through my hair before tucking it behind my ear. "A lot of people, when their upset or angry, can focus their thought's. Kind of like how you did with me when I was away."

I scowled, hating that he was right. I knew I was snappy this morning and I knew he didn't deserve it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be laying into you. In my defense, I just hate feeling so helpless. I'm going to talk to him," I decided.

Edward shook his head firmly. "Jessica is giving him until after school before confronting him and so should you. Whatever happens between them happens, Bella, all you can do is to be there for her afterwards. Either way it goes."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "When did you get so smart?"

Edward through his head back and laughed at me. It filled the warm car up and made my heart jump. While Edward had changed a lot since we got back together, he still had those moments where he thought himself a monster, something I firmly disagreed with.

He often replied that when someone's done as many evil things as he has, you never really get over it. Even when you're the happiest you've ever been.

That had made me want to melt.

So, it always made me feel like I'd just won the Olympics or something whenever I made him laugh. When the shadows that often lurked in his golden eyes disappeared, even if only for those few seconds.

"I made my mistakes with the girl I love, remember? From experience you should know something isn't always as they seem. Give him the chance to explain himself before you go for his throat."

"Fine," I sighed as I stared out the window. "I should have gone to hers last night. I should have insisted."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Bella, you texted her whenever Emmett gave you a free moment last night, then you called her until she told you she didn't need mothering. Jessica is strong and she will be fine."

I tutted at him. "Of course she's strong! She's one of the strongest people I know, but her heart is a lot more vulnerable than you realize, Edward. It took a lot for her to put herself out there and open it up to Jack and if the little bastard hurts her I'm going to cut his balls off and keep them as trophies," I hissed as I shoved the car door open, slamming it shut and cutting off the sound of Edward's laughter.

Within a heartbeat, he was out of the car, his laughter controlled but I knew from his eyes that he was still highly amused with my rant.

Edward strolled to my side and linked our fingers together. "So, I take it you'll be with the girls for lunch today?" he asked quietly and I could hear his disappointment even though he tried to hide it.

I grimaced and gripped his hand in mine. "I'm sorry. It's just that Jessica doesn't want to sit around and be ignored in the cafeteria while Jack ignores her for an hour."

Edward nodded his understanding. "I know. Did it occur to you that maybe he'd want to talk to her during lunch?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but Jack made sure that he was surrounded with guys yesterday. It's like he's trying to avoid her."

Edward stopped, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in close. "It hurts you, doesn't it? To see her so sad," he added.

Sighing I rested my cheek against his chest. "She can come across as shallow, I know I thought it when I first met her, but she's got a good heart. A really good heart, Edward. She owed me nothing all those months ago and she chose to help me out. She didn't have to but she did and when we were single together and had girl's night Valentine's Day and watched every romantic movie where one of them dies," I laughed. "Then I threw up because of the amount of junk I'd eaten and she held my hair back. She was laughing and gagging while she was doing it, but she did. I want her to be happy."

I felt the press of his cool lips against my temple. "Then I will read Jack's mind endlessly today. Hopefully, I can find something."

"Thank you," I whispered as I held onto him all that tighter. "How about this? Angela and Jessica are both on close down tonight and I'm off at nine. I was going to hang around but since I know they won't have to ride home solo, you could pick me up and we could make up for lost time."

That devastating smile appeared, the disappointment fading from his eyes. "I'd like that. How are you getting there? I could drop you off," he offered.

I shook my head. "No need. My dad's got head into Port Angele's for some fishing gear of some sort and he's dropping me off. Apparently, there's some sort of store that specializes in fishing rods," I frowned in confusion. Whose idea was that?

"So tonight?" I smiled up at him.

"Tonight," he promised softly before pressing the most gentlest of kisses to my mouth. "I love you," he whispered.

I couldn't help my smile as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with everything I was. "I kind of like you, too," I whispered against his lips. With one last kiss, I pulled away and skipped off to meet Jessica and Angela, enjoying the feeling of his golden eyes on me as he watched me walk away.

"See you in biology," I called over my shoulder.

* * *

The say sucked. Royally.

I spent the morning in class all but praying for Jack to talk to Jessica and clear the air, but he never did. At lunch Jessica attempted to lure Jack away from his group of friends, but he'd said he needed to talk to Eric about an assignment they were doing. One look at Eric's confused expression had been enough for her to walk away without a backwards glance.

It was as she stormed out of the cafeteria that he's called after her, but she was too hurt, too upset with his lie to listen. To care.

We had spent the hour hiding out in Jessica's car in the parking lot. Not once did he come to look for her there, so none of knew whether or not he'd even bothered to come after her. All we knew is that Jack had lied to her today to keep from being alone with her. That wasn't a good sign.

By biology I was starting to get impatient. I know some may have thought this nothing to do with me and even over reacting. To them I would have said to go and suck it. Jessica was my best friend; she had been there for me when I had needed someone more than ever. Now she was the one who was hurting and possibly about to be betrayed by someone she loved and she needed me.

I wasn't going to let her down.

"Anything?" I demanded as Edward sat down next to me.

Rolling his eyes, he gently tipped my chin up to brush a lingering kiss across my lips. "Hello," he murmured.

"I'm sorry," I frowned. "Hello," I tried again as this time it was I who pressed the kiss to his mouth.

"Anything?" I demanded as I pulled away, linking my fingers with his long, pale and incredibly cold ones.

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, honey. I thought I got something at lunch, he was confused as to why she stormed away, but then he forced himself to focus on what the others were saying."

Which meant that he didn't come after her after she stormed away, angry and upset because he was avoiding her. Even though I knew I wouldn't like the answer, I asked, "Did he really have an assignment with Eric?"

Edward tucked my hair behind my ear. "No. I'm sorry, Bella, I know how much you like Jack and how much you want things to be perfect between them."

I let my head rest against his arm as class began. "This sucks," I whispered.

I felt Edward's cool lips press against my temple and felt a little better when he arms came around mine. "I know. But you want to know the good thing in all of this?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Is there a good thing? How can there be?" I demanded.

"If it's truly as bad as it look's Jessica may be hurt and in pain, but she has you and she has Angela. She will have two loyal and loving friends who will help and support her, just like she did with you. That's more than some people have, Bella. Even though it won't seem like it at the time, she is a lucky girl."

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his waist. "How did you get so smart, huh?" I teased.

Edward shrugged casually. "You live for over a hundred years and you're bound to pick up a few things."

I chuckled. "Smooth."

After Edward had walked me to gym, and after an hour of sweating and getting my ass kicked in basketball, I showered and headed out to meet Edward.

I smiled when I saw him standing in the soft rain waiting for me. No one should look so handsome, not in the rain and the wind without a jacket and still look like he belonged in a commercial. I would have loved nothing more than to walk into his arms and kiss that small, almost cocky smile from his face.

I would have actually, if Angela hadn't stalked up to me, grabbed my wrist and yanked me around the building and all but knocking the breath out of me as we smashed into the brick wall. "What are you doing?" I huffed.

"Hush," she hissed as she peaked her head from around the corner. "Jess told me to wait here and listen in. If she cries, begs for answers in a way she'll regret later or full on attack's him, we're on strict orders to get her out of there."

I felt my heart racing and not in a good way like when we broke into Jack's locker. This was in a very, very bad way. "What if he's been cheating on her, Angela? What do we do for her?"

Angela shrugged. "We break his legs."

I chuckled quietly so no one could hear us. At one point Angela had been quiet, shy, and timid and had once reminded me a lot of myself. Or the person I used to be. Over the months' we spent together I wasn't the only one to come into her own. Angela had gone from sweet and shy to dry and kind of violent.

Angela would always have that kind side to her, but it was refreshing to see her stand up for herself, her friends and whatever she believed in. Poor Ben loved her more than life though he rarely won an argument if she thought she were in the right. Luckily he was laid back and admitted kind of turned on by her change in attitude.

"They're coming," she hissed.

The only noise either of us made was the sounds of our breathing and our heartbeats as they pounded in trepidation. I think if we could make our hearts stop beating and continue to live, we would have.

"Jack, will you just talk to me?" We heard Jessica demanded firmly.

There was a pause before the slight sigh of exasperation that Jack let out. "Jess, there's nothing wrong. Why can't you just believe that?"

Angela and I shared a glance and an eye roll. "Try not treating her better and maybe she would, prick," Angela muttered.

"Angela," I hissed.

"Jack, you've avoided me since the wedding. You've barely spoken and when you do you're off and usually I wouldn't pry but it's starting to worry me. Please just tell me what's going on," she pleaded and I felt my eyes burn with tears at the vulnerability I heard in her voice.

For a second I thought that this was it, no way could anyone deny her when she all but begged him to just talk to her. To just explain to her why he was acting so strange.

"It's nothing, Jess, you're over reacting."

I winced. "Bad move," I whispered.

"Over reacting?" she demanded and I could hear the anger starting to creep into her voice. Good for her. Better she angry than hurt in front of him, especially. "Are you kidding me? You've acted cold and off for the past couple of days. You've ignored my calls, lied to me about having plans with Eric. Yeah, I cracked that code," she added wryly. "You're lying to me Jack and that's not over reacting. I can't be with you when I know you're lying."

I wanted to cheer for her; she sounded strong and confident and still had that emotion that told him that while she loved him he'd crossed a line.

Jack all but growled, reminding me of Edward. "I'm not lying to you! I just wanted some time to myself; I don't have to explain that to you. I don't need to get you're okay with it."

"Oh, so that's the excuse? You just wanted some alone time. It has nothing to do with slut red bra in your locker or the texts from that whore Lauren?" She snapped back, her voice shaking with rage.

"How did you know what was in my locker?" he replied quietly.

"What?" she asked, playing dumb? Good girl.

Angela and I looked at each other with wide eyes. She'd just spilled the beans on our little adventure yesterday.

"He didn't deny it, though," Angela whispered. I nodded in agreement, no the bastard hadn't.

"Did you break into my locker?" he asked in a mixture of anger and pure shock.

There was a short pause and then, "Yeah, I did. Bella and Angela tagged along and we all saw the little skanks bra and text messages. By the way, you may not want to have your phone password the same as your locker combination," she added bitingly.

"You not only broke into my locker, but you went through my phone? Do you know how crazy that is? How you completely invaded my privacy?"

I could all but hear Jessica roll her eyes. "Oh, yeah, compare invasion of privacy to banging to town slut."

"Jessica," he snarled.

"Oh, I don't think so Jack. I gave you time to talk and I waited and I tried to give you space and it turns out you don't even deserve it. I was an idiot to ever trust you."

"Jess, listen-"

"No," she snapped. "I tried to listen, but you pushed me away, remember? You said I was over reacting. Well, guess what? It's over, Jack. I loved a boy who lied and wanted other girls before and I'm done with that. As far as I'm concerned you can go and fuck a sheep sideways. Then again, considering the texts are from Lauren, its looks like you already have."

Jessica all but flew past us as she stormed to her car and both Angela and I knew that she was too angry, to upset, to be around anyone right now.

As Jack came rushing after her, Angela and I stepped out making a wall and effectively stopping him from catching up to her as she jumped into her front seat.

"Girls," he began only to have Angela cut him off.

"You've done enough, Jack. Stay away from her," she added coldly.

"But-" he started and he sounded genuinely upset, almost desperate.

"No," she interrupted him once again. "You stay away from her until she's good and ready to talk to you. If not I'll cut off your balls and keep them as trophies. Do you understand?" she bit out.

Glaring at us, he stormed away and slammed into his own car. For his own sake I hope he listened. I of all people understood the need for space away from the person who hurt you. If I could have cut off Edward's balls in those first few days I would have.

Jack wouldn't be so lucky. He was fair game where Jessica was concerned.

"Do you think it was right to stop him?" Angela asked after she watched him drive away, afraid she had done the wrong thing.

"No," I shook my head. "He's hurt her, pissed her off, and betrayed her. If she needs time to cool off then she should have that. She shouldn't have to stand there and suffer through it all just because he's decided he wants to talk now."

And didn't that sound familiar? I thought wryly.

Angela turned to me as we watched both of our friends drive away angrily and wondered what was in store for them. "Can you give me a ride home? Jess kind of drove off without me," she added with a grin.

I glanced up in time to see Edward pull up, Alice and Jasper nowhere in sight. I understood that she would have seen this as soon as Jessica drove away and had chosen to go home on foot rather than make Jasper uncomfortable. He had come a long way in the past few months, but that didn't mean he had to be pushed by putting him in an enclosed space with a human.

Edward was there before Angela even noticed, opening the door for her. I smiled over at him before gesturing towards to car. "Hop in."

* * *

"You wanted to see me, you sexy beast?" I drawled as I leaned my hip against the office door. "By the way, Hayley said that calling you a sexy beast is in no way professional, but I'll be damned if I stop," I added with a laugh.

Work was kind of slow tonight and I was bored beyond belief.

After Edward had dropped Angela off at home, with Jessica on her phone apologizing profusely for ditching her, he'd then dropped me off. Of course, my drop off had lasted a lot longer and I knew that if Edward were able to generate body heat, those windows would have been steamed up.

My dad had dropped me off with a sarcastic 'Have fun' and I'd been bored ever since. Jessica, still angry and upset over her confrontation with Jack had barely spoken a word since she arrived two hours after me and hadn't stopped deep cleaning since. Seriously, the place all but sparkled.

I did hear her muttering about not good ex-boyfriends and dirty ass skanks as she scrubbed the table legs, though.

So, when Hayley had mentioned that Simon wanted to see me in the office, I was honest enough to admit I saw it as a chance to waste a bit of time before Edward picked me up in an hour.

Simon, looking a little brighter than he had in weeks, smirked at me as I strolled over and dropped into Max's seat. "Promises promises. Anyway, B. Swan, I have some news," he grinned.

"You're pregnant?" I guessed through narrowed eyes.

Rolling his eyes he answered, "No."

"You got a another job?" I shot off, liking the game that I felt we were playing. Only the game didn't get any further, Simon's smile told me I'd guessed right.

"Dude!" I laughed as I launched myself into his arms and squeezed the life out of him. "Since when?"

"My dad offered me a job with his company a month ago; it's been one of the reasons why I was so stressed. Part of me didn't want to work for my dad, but then I thought 'fuck it' and accepted it. I hate it here."

Slumping back into my own seat, I felt my heart fill with happiness. He was miserable here. Simon had gone from a care free, happy-go-lucky guy, to stressed, tired and irritable. I missed the old Simon and I could already see he was making his way back.

"I know," I agreed with him softly. "I'm sorry to see you leave, but you can't imagine how happy I am for you. Your way too good for this place and Max is a dick who takes advantage of you."

Simon gave me a cheeky grin. "Say what you really think, why don't you? I do have to ask you a favor. You're the only person who I've told, so can we just keep it between us for now?"

I groaned. "Come on, dude, this is the gossip this place has had for a while! Please don't make me keep this to myself?" I begged.

Simon shook his head. "Fine," I huffed. "You suck."

**EPOV**

I never thought I would be so happy as to enter a diner in my existence.

After being without her for the entire day, the only time spent with her in mundane biology, I was eager to get her back into my arms. Oh, just the memory of when I had dropped her off outside her house after school.

Kissing Bella in the backseat of my car had been... wonderful. It had been her idea to jump in the back and 'have a hot make out session' behind the tinted windows. She'd then begin to hum a song as she climbed into the back of the Volvo, giving me a terrific view of her behind.

It had been the closest thing to heaven as we kissed and laughed... and yes hands wandered in interesting places.

I glanced at the clock on the dashboard and admitted that I was a little early. In my defense I had been without her for so long, through my own fault, and now I had her back I would happily spend every second together.

That wasn't happening anytime soon. With all the drama happening with her friends Bella was spending every second with them at school and even when we were together her mind was else were. I tried not to let it bother me that she was more invested in her friends than me, but it did. A little.

Deciding that I could always wait inside the diner until her shift ended, I quickly jumped out the Volvo and entered the foul smelling diner. Jessica, looking angry and sad at the same time directed me to Bella's section with barely a word.

I did feel compassion for her. Much like Bella, I had once thought of her as shallow and self-centered. The girl who I had once looked on with contempt had changed in the passing months, though. She was still a little shallow, still a little self-centered, but she had also grown into a smart young woman. One that cared about he friends and would protect them with her last breath.

The thing's I had seen in her mind when I had returned... it made me thankful that I was immortal. Something I never thought would happen.

"Bella's in back, she'll be out in a second," she all but snapped as she all but threw the laminated menu at me.

"Thank you?" I replied.

She rolled her wide blue eyes. "Whatever."

"Wow," I breathed as she stormed away and then began to scrub a table like it was her sworn enemy.

I was about to look at the menu when the familiar sound of Bella's laughter filled the air. My eyes shot the kitchen door where she came swinging through with a plate in both hands and one balanced on her forearm, as a tall, dark haired man followed behind her with one in each hand.

"I've told you time and time again, Tom, I refuse to be your rebound. Come back after you've banged your way through Port Angeles, then I'll marry you and bear you eight children," she teased.

"Aww, come on, Bella. You know I'm the only one for you," he replied in a cocky tone that grated on me immediately.

It took half a second to zero in on his thoughts and discover that while his tone may be teasing, he was actually very serious in his flirtations with Bella. He was actually kicking himself mentally at the moment for waiting too long to break things off with his girlfriend.

Bella twirled around and showed just how much her balance had improved by walking backwards, plates in hand, and continued across the diner. "You have your chance and you past it up. I'm not holler back girl," she laughed as she stopped and placed the plates down on a table filled with middle aged women.

"Oh, come on baby," he laughed.

It was then that Bella turned and saw me, her eyes lighting up in joy as she rushed over to me. Getting to my feet I paid close attention to this _Tom's _thoughts.

Damn, he sighed as Bella threw her arms around me.

"Your early," she smiled as she pressed a kiss to my mouth and even though I wasn't proud of it, I made sure to put on a show for the boy standing there, wishing he'd made a move earlier.

The kiss I returned was an obvious claim. It stated that the woman in my arms was mine and I would die for her, kill for her and kill anyone who even attempted to take her from me. Was it petty and the act of a jealous man? Yes. Did I care? Of course I didn't.

_Poor Tom_, I heard from across the diner as two women who I'd never seen before watch on with frowns. Both women had a soft spot for both Bella and Tom and had wanted them to get together and thought it would happen eventually.

"She's meant to be with him," a woman in her mid-twenties hissed. "They're perfect together. They're always laughing and flirting. I really thought that they would hook up."

The brunette next to her nodded in agreement. "We all did. It will never last between them. Bella's meant to be with Tom."

I wanted to growl at not only their word's but their thoughts. The image's I caught of Bella laughing and joking, hugging and dancing with the man who stood next to her and developed a dislike of me just as I did with him.

Unaware of the tension rising around her Bella looked up at me with love in her eyes. It was the only thing that was keeping him alive. "Why don't I go and ask Simon if I can leave early since it's deader than a cemetery in here."

Before I could say a word she was rushing off and into the back. To give the boy his due he didn't walk away, he didn't make an excuse to leave. Instead he stood there, his eyes on mine as he listed in his head all the reasons why Bella should be with him.

_I mean look at this guy, he's not suited for her. He basically screams 'loaded' and I know Bella; she's not that type of girl. And the way she ran into his arms. After what he did! Jessica told me all about what the prick did and Bella's way too good for him._

_Do not kill him,_ I ordered myself as he continued with his less than complimentary thoughts of me.

Bella came rushing back over to us and finally seemed to realize that all we needed was a tumbleweed and two guns and we'd be in the middle of a standoff.

With a confused frown she said, "Edward this is Tom. Tom, this is my boyfriend Edward." Her smile was brighter than the sun in the attempt to defuse the situation.

"It's nice to meet you, Edward. Bella's told me a lot about you," he added with a smile that I knew was fake even with my ability to read his mind.

I frowned. "Strange. She hasn't said a word about you."

"Edward," Bella hissed in shock at my sharp tone.

"Its okay, Bella. I should be getting back to work anyway. See you later," he smiled and I knew that he was happy that I'd been abrupt. He came off looking like the good guy and I the jealous boyfriend.

"See you later, Tommikins," Bella smiled from beside me, but I could hear the restrained anger in her voice. "Let's go," she snapped as she stormed out of the diner, saying her goodbyes as she left.

This was going to be fun.

**BPOV**

The ride back from Port Angeles had been a silent one. When I'd gotten into the car I'd been too pissed to talk to him. When I began to calm down I realised he was pretty pissed to. This in turn pissed me off. It was a vicious cycle.

So, instead of throwing his ass out of a moving car, I turned up the radio and thought to hell with him. Everything was fine until he was rude to Tom, looking at him like he was his next meal. What was he thinking?

Eventually, he pulled up outside my house where I could see the living room light on and the shadow of my dad moving around inside. Well, at least we wouldn't be able to have a full blow out.

Edward turned the key and the car went silent. "Just get it off your chest, Bella."

My eyes widened at his tone. It was like he was pissed off at me and I knew I didn't deserve it so he could just go and suck it.

"Okay," I shrugged. "What the hell was your problem? You can't talk to my friends like that."

Edward gave me a heated look. "Oh, so I'm supposed to be happy with pretty much everyone in that diner routing for you to break it off with me? I'm supposed to be happy that he wants you?"

"Exactly," I snapped. "He wants me, not the other way around."

His eyes darkened in front of me as his anger rose. At one point that would have made me nervous. That was a long time ago.

"Really? So you never thought about it? You never thought about him?" he growled.

I wanted to say no, but that would be lying. And by lying to him it would be as if I did something wrong and I hadn't. "At one point... maybe. He was sweet and kind and everything a girl wants', Edward, but he had a girlfriend. And I was still in love with you," I added quietly.

He didn't seem to hear my words. Instead he said, "And now he's free and single and will do everything in his power to get you."

I all but snarled at him. "That doesn't matter. I'm not single and I don't intend to be. This is a moot point."

Edward turned to me. "So will you tell him you're not interested? That it's not possible between you?"

"Why would I do that? Edward, there's one thing saying it if he comes on to me, but do you know how hurtful that is? To go up to my friend and say you have no chance. Never mind how completely arrogant it sounds."

When he didn't seem too happy with my reply, I tried from another direction. "Edward, he's my friend. He helped Jessica and me when we first started at the diner. He's sweet and kind and he was there for me."

Edward's huff interrupted me. "That's the point isn't it? You'll never do anything against your friends, even for me. Not even when it upsets me, or makes me uncomfortable. You'll always put your friends first because they were there for you when I wasn't. When it comes down to me or your friends, your friends win every time and I'm supposed to take it."

I sat there quietly for a second. "You're the one who said that, Edward, not me."

He laughed darkly. "You didn't have to say it. Jessica or Angela needs you and I'm in the shadows. I have to be on my best behavior around your _Tommikins_ because he's your friend and your friends always come first."

Hurt I whispered, "That's not fair and it's not true. I don't put my friends before you. I just put them as a priority, just like I put my family and my boyfriend."

Edward scoffed. "I don't want to be your _boyfriend_," he spat.

"Then what do you want to be?" I demanded angrily.

If he had said that a year ago, I would have been devastated, but I knew enough now to know that he didn't mean he wanted to break up.

"Your husband," he snapped and I knew by the look in his eyes he hadn't meant to say it.

Shocked, I sat there quietly for a while until he turned to me. Obviously he wasn't impressed with my silence because exasperation soon darkened his eyes. "Well?"

"Is that your idea of a proposal?" I blinked.

"Yeah," he replied almost obnoxiously. "Well? What do you say?"

Well? What do you say? Had he really just said that? The man had quoted Romeo and Juliet and written a lullaby for me before we were even together and he chose to propose like that? And in reaction to jealousy of all things?

"I say go and blow me, Edward," I snapped as I got my back and jumped out of the car and slammed the car behind me. The look of his utter shock would have been comical if I wasn't so angry.

"Very mature, Bella," he called after me.

"How's this for mature?" I yelled back as I lifted my hand to flip him off, knowing that he could see me perfectly even in the darkness.

Slamming the front door behind me, I saw my dad standing at the bottom of the stairs. Obviously he'd heard both Edward and I.

"Don't start," I snapped as I stormed past him as he held up his hands up in mock surrender, his eyes bright with laughter.

In my bedroom, I grabbed a piece of paper quickly got a pen and scrawled 'Go home, jackass' on it before taping it to my window. Grabbing my remote I turned on the television and planned for a nice night in front of the television and try and forget the proposal. If that's what he was calling it.

**CPOV**

Wow, two slams in under a minute, I thought with a chuckle as I heard Bella turn on her television. Well it looks like she was in for the night and obviously on bad terms with Cullen.

Good for her.

Walking over to the window I pulled the curtain back to see Cullen pacing back and forth on the front yard. I could see him muttering and every now and then he would glare up at Bella's window.

I had to admit part of me was relieved to see him this way. Edward was always so polite, so perfect that I felt like I wasn't seeing him as a person. It also didn't help that Bella was always so private about her relationship with him.

It was no secret that I hadn't been there for her when she was growing up and I would never forgive myself for that. When she had come to live with me it had given me hope for us, but she'd spent all of her time with Cullen and his family. In a way I felt left out.

Then after he left I had slowly gotten to know my daughter and I didn't want to lose that. I had a feeling that Bella didn't either.

I watched as Cullen's eyes widened before he muttered something and stormed towards his car and jumped inside with grace that surprised me. As Cullen drove away I couldn't help but smile. It seemed for the first time since I'd met him he'd behaved like any normal guy would have.

Good for him.

**A/N** No, they have not broken up, but they are in a fight. So, tell me, whose side are you on and why?


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N**Okay, so I thought that this chapter would be small but it turned out being one of the longest in this story! Anyway, I have loved reading all your reviews and seeing whose 'Team' you're on, LOL! I really hope I got across what they're feeling... Let me know if I did but be kind please lol.

Enjoy and please review it makes me happy!

**BPOV**

Well last night's sleep sucked, that was for sure. I lay awake most of the night furious with Edward. So what if Tom was interested in me? I wasn't going to do anything with him so why would I hurt him just after he'd gone through a break up by saying I didn't want him either?

It wasn't fair for Edward to order me to tell him to back off when we'd always had a close and harmless relationship. In fact Tom had really helped give me some confidence after Edward had left. He had flirted and teased and made me feel like someone could actually want me.

Unlike my ex at the time who had said he didn't.

I half expected him to knock on my window. He didn't. I half expected him to call or leave messages. He didn't.

Well, I thought as I jumped out of bed and headed for the shower, if he wanted to be like that then so would I.

I loved Edward, I truly did, but I couldn't be so willingly to blindly please him like I once had. I couldn't let his wants and need's overshadow those of mine and those of my friends and family. I had done that once and had lived to regret it.

After showering, blow drying and the usual morning routine that took way too long, I headed down stairs where my dad sat at the kitchen table eating bacon and eggs. I didn't bother to reprimand him for his unhealthy choice like I once hand. YOLO, I thought as I set about making me up a plate.

As I sat down my dad gave me a cautious smile. "Is it safe?" he asked with a grin.

Rolling my eyes I bit into a slice of bacon with more force than necessary. "Yes, you're safe."

"Did you have a fight?" he asked, trying for casual as he flipped over the newspaper her was currently reading.

"Yes," I replied slowly. "We had a fight and I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to get the mail," I said before he could open his mouth to protest. My dad had sure gotten noisy. Must me a cop thing, I thought with a mental shrug as I headed out the door and into the fine sheet of rain.

The mail man always came after the paperboy, and so my dad got the paper and I would get the mail. It was teamwork we were proud of and a nice little tradition that we had created. My dad and I hadn't had any traditions we shared, unlike me and Renee.

Renee and I had so many, like getting t-shirts from every diner that had some sort of competition like on Man vs. Food. In fact they were all stored in the bedroom that I had in Jacksonville. I only spent a weekend in it here and there which shocked Renee more than me.

Renee had assumed that after my reason for wanting to stay in Forks had left, I would come to my senses and move to Jacksonville to be with her and Phil. The thought had tempted me for a second, to leave and be in the sun and forget about the small rainy town that held so many memories... and heartache.

I was considering it when Jessica and Angela had knocked at my front door that night and changed the course of my future. I had wanted to stay in Forks, not because of Edward this time, but because my friends were here, my school and more importantly, my dad. Over the months we'd gotten closer and I was so grateful for it.

As always I flipped open the mailbox that proudly had the name Swan written across in blue glitter. My dad had been adamant to paint over Jessica and I's handiwork, but in the end it had stayed and eventually Billy and his friends had stopped teasing him.

My heart stopped when I felt an A4 sized envelope in my hand amongst bills and other junk mail. In the back of my mind I reminded myself not to try the free sample of shampoo. The last time I had made that mistake I hadn't been able to stop itching for a week.

Deciding to rip of the band aid, I tore open the envelope that held my future and quickly scanned the black font.

"Daddy!" I screamed as I ran back towards the house.

With speed that would impress any vampire my dad was at the front door, his face a picture of concern. "What is it? What's wrong?" he demanded.

"Nothing!" I squealed as I jumped into his arms. "I got in!"

"What?" he demanded in confusion.

Jumping out of his embrace I shoved my acceptance letter in my dad's face and then did a happy dance around the front lawn. "I got into Seattle University. I applied there in the hopes I would get in but I didn't think I would. Then when I didn't hear anything I thought I hadn't. I am so freakin' happy right now."

My joyous laughter died down when my dad looked at me with his heart in his eyes. "You applied to Seattle. You got in."

"Yeah," I all but whispered taken off guard by the rare emotion in his tone.

"So you'll be staying around for a while, huh?" he asked and I could hear the vulnerability in his voice and suddenly I understood why he looked like he'd just been handed the world.

Walking up to him I threw my arms around him and squeezed tight. "You just try and get rid of me," I teased.

I felt his silent laughter and the light kiss that he brushed against my hair. "You've made me the happiest man alive, Bella."

"Good."

* * *

"See you tomorrow!" I called out upon seeing Jessica's car pull up outside. We had decided since we were having a girl's day and night then we might as well car pool.

"Have fun!" my dad called back, his voice still containing his earlier happiness.

Grabbing my school bag and overnight bag, I all but skipped to Jessica's car where both surprisingly looked nervous and excited at the same time. It took another second for it to click into place and I wanted to scream with joy.

Jumping in the back seat I gave an absent, "Morning," as I clicked my seat belt into place.

"Morning," they both responded expectantly.

"I'm just going to leave my bag back here. Is that cool?" I asked gesturing to my bright pink overnight bag.

Angela and Jessica's eyes narrowed. "Stop being a bitch and just tell us what we want to know," Angela all but growled.

My innocent look lasted like half a second before a big shit eating grin spread across my face. "I got the letter this morning! Tell me you both did, too."

Their excited squeals told me what I needed to know. Our dream of attending college together was going to happen.

For the rest of the journey to school we discussed everything from dorm room, majors to keg parties and cute college guys. Jessica was all up for finding some sexy Frat guys while Angela and I had cringed. Gross.

It wasn't until we pulled up at Forks High and I saw a very miserable looking Jack standing by his car did I remember everything that had happened recently. With the acceptance letters arriving this morning, thoughts of guy troubles, fights and break ups had completely evaporated from my mind.

Suddenly the laughter, the exuberant chatter and plans of the future died down. Resting my hand on Jessica's shoulder I asked, "How are you doing?"

Jessica let her head fall back against her head rest. "Not good," she admitted. "I just don't understand why he would do this. It's one thing starting off with no promises and then later finding out he's an ass, but to have him promise her was different... It hurts more than anything else."

"Have you spoken to him?" Angela asked, her eyes filled with compassion.

Jessica let out a humorless laugh. "He came to my house last night. Banged on the door, yelled for me to open up that he wanted to talk. In the end my mom went out and told him I didn't want to talk to him. She also said that she had a gun and knew how to hide a body if necessary." Her eyes danced with laughter. "No one messes with her baby, I guess."

"Good," I replied firmly. "What are you going to do if he wants to talk today?"

She huffed. "I'm going to tell him to go to hell. I don't care if he wants to talk because I don't want to. Not now, maybe not ever."

"Okay," Angela nodded. "We're with on whatever you decide. Do you want us to beat him up because we can totally do that," she laughed.

Jessica leaned over to give her a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll keep that in mind," she responded as she jumped out of the car.

I admired her more in that moment than ever. Jessica was hurting and angry and humiliated and yet when she jumped out of that car it was like she didn't have a care in the world.

Angela grinned. "You gotta love her."

Meeting the girls by the hood of the car we prepared to enter the school and ignore all the chatter about Jessica's very public breakup yesterday. It was then that I spotted the silver Volvo and the bronze haired douche bag that was currently sending me a cold glare.

Asshole, I thought as I joined my friends and gave him a 'Kiss my ass' smile. His response was to narrow his eyes while Alice gave me a bright smile and a wave. By the laughter that shook her body she knew about everything and found it funny. Good for her.

Angela noticed the look between Edward and I. "What's that about?" she asked with a frown.

Sighing, I shook my head. "I'll tell you about it later."

* * *

The rest of the morning passed rather quickly with Jessica only threatening to bitch slap three people if they didn't stop staring at her. I teased that it was payback for all the times she had gossiped and stared at me when I had first arrived. She had flipped me off.

Everyone stared, everyone asked questions and some even laughed. Bastards. I remembered what it was like after Edward had just left town. I felt as if I was under a microscope from the second I pulled up in the parking lot till the second I left.

I would be lying if I said it didn't bring back some bad memories and I probably over reacted when I shoved one of the football players into a locker for cracking a joke. He had leered down at Jessica and said that maybe if she didn't put it around so much she could keep a guy.

It had only taken that brief flash of hurt in Jessica's eyes to send me into a rage and shove the six foot two boy before stalking away. It had been worth it, I thought as I remembered Jessica's laugh at the shocked look on the dudes face.

At lunch we all met up in the cafeteria, Jessica had refused to skulk away like she'd done something wrong. With a table filled with sodas, pizza and gossip magazines I asked the question I had been dying to ask for the last hour.

"So, how was seeing Jack in Spanish?"

Jessica gave me a bright smile. "It sucked. He spent the first half an hour trying to talk to me and the next trying to slip me pathetic little notes. He practically sat there and stared at me while the entire class stared at the both of us. Even the freakin' teacher kept glancing our way."

"Jesus," I winced. The first day Edward had returned it had been the exact same thing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially her.

"What did you say to him?" Angela asked as she bit into an apple. The freak said that since we would most likely be eating crap tonight then she wanted to eat a little healthier in the day. Jessica and I weren't going along with that plan.

"When he said he wanted to talk, I told him to go suck it and die. When he tried to protest, I gave him a look that should have melted his balls off on the spot. And when he tried to give me his best puppy dog eyes, I ignored him until he got the hint and tried to write it down. I ignored them, though I must say it almost killed me!" she laughed.

I nodded; it would have killed me too.

"Anyway, I have had enough of talking about him and boys! How about we talk about important things, like how hot Chris Hemsworth looks in the new _Thor _trailer," Jessica suggested with a smirk.

"Perfect," I agreed even as I felt golden eyes burning into the back of my head.

* * *

After lunch Angela and I headed towards biology, something I both anticipated and dreaded at the same time. I hadn't spoken to Edward, or even acknowledged, all day and he hadn't either.

Angela, who had sensed that something had happened between us and was eagerly waiting 'later', grinned when she saw Edward sitting at our table. "Have fun," she sang as she walked over to take her seat next to Eric.

With a deep, calming breath I walked over to our table and got into my seat completely ignoring Edward. I thought I had calmed down throughout the day but sitting next to him, knowing he was pissed off at me, it brought back my own anger tenfold.

Who was he to say I put my friends first? Was a bad thing even if I did? When did it even become a bad thing to make your friends a priority?

Wanting to scowl I dragged my notebook out instead. I wouldn't let him know how much I was still irritated at him.

"Bella," Edward greeted eventually. His voice was cool and polite and with a hint of smug, like he was the bigger person for acknowledging me first.

"Asshole," I greeted back.

I heard his quiet growl. "You haven't matured over night, I see."

Turning to him, I offered him a fake smile. "Guess what, Edward, you date a girl, like, a hundred years younger than you, you shouldn't expect her to have your same level of maturity. You also shouldn't expect her to have that stick you had shoved up your ass at birth, either."

With that, and another growl from him, I turned back to the front and we didn't speak again.

At the end of the lesson, Edward turned to me with an irritated look. "I don't have a stick up my ass. My reasons for how I behaved last night were very real. I may not have reacted the way you like, but there you have it. Maybe if you look beyond your anger and your friend's drama, then you could see that."

I stared after him as he left feeling like I did when my mom would reprimand me as a child. Slightly guilty and ashamed. That latest for about five seconds until me preservation skills kicked in and demanded who the hell he thought he was to reprimand me. To look at me like I were the bratty child while he was mature, responsible and rational one.

Well, I didn't want to be rational. I didn't care what his reasons were. Why should I put him first when he was acting like an ass?

"Ready?" Angela asked from beside me.

"Oh yeah," I muttered as I got to my feet. Never in my life did I think I would look forward to gym, but hey, an hour of physical work would help but off some of my irritation with Edward.

After a very intense hour of dodge ball, where I took out Mike with deadly accuracy more times than I could count, I finally felt some of the anger drain away.

Deciding to put Edward and our fight, and his shitty proposal, to the back of my mind I looked forward to tonight. There was nothing like hanging with the girls to get your mind off even your worst of days.

* * *

I'd had the best day with the girls. After school we had drove to Port Angeles and in celebration of our acceptance to Seattle University we bought way too many new outfits. We also picked up some face masks, cucumbers and nail polishes.

Tonight was going to be a chick night to rival any romantic comedy scene. We were going to watch movies, dance and eat way too much. We were also going to try and sneak some booze from Jessica's parents liquor cabinet.

"We are going to have so much fun in college!" Jessica exclaimed as the three of us changed into flannel bottoms and tank tops. With our hair tied back and faces covered in a green mask we didn't exactly fit the image of what every guy thought happened at girl's slumber parties. No underwear pillow fights, no drunk make out sessions where we explored our sexuality.

Instead we would put on mutant green masks; paint toes nails and probably pass out bloated beyond belief about midnight. Good times.

"Of course we are! Although I will miss Ben," Angela pouted. While Ben had applied to Seattle, it had been a backup. Ben's dream of getting a full ride to Harvard had finally came true after he'd earned a scholarship and years of straight A's and so many after school activities and volunteer work.

When Ben had gotten his acceptance letter a couple of weeks back, Angela had been over the moon, but she'd also been worried. He'd be away at a top college in Boston while she'll be in Seattle. She worried that distance and smart geeky girls could hurt their relationship.

Ben being Ben had laughed and told her that distance and smart geeky girls could never change what he felt for her. That if they worked at their relationship and made it a priority then they would be just fine. Angela still had her reservations, but she had trust in Ben and faith in them.

Dropping onto Jessica's bed with Hot by M.O playing softly in the background Angela finally brought up what she'd asked me earlier in the day. Which was a shame since I'd been having such a good day with the girls. It had kept my thoughts firmly away from Edward, Tom and idiotic proposals.

"So what's up with you and Edward? I saw the glares you sent each other this morning and you barely spoke in biology. Spill," she ordered.

Jessica sat up with wide eyes. "I didn't notice. What happened? I thought you two were almost sickeningly happy."

"We were," I nodded as I sipped my soda. Jessica's mom didn't go out for another hour at which point I would put my skills to work and do a little breaking and entering. "Everything was great until he picked me up from work last night and saw me with Tom."

"Oh," they both winced in unison. They both knew all about Tom and our kind of flirtatious relationship. They also knew it was harmless and would have never gone any farther than flirtatious banter.

With a deep breath I filled my friends in the rest of the car journey, including Edward's proposal and his words this afternoon in class.

"Can you believe him?" I demanded as I finished my story. I frowned when they shared a quiet look. "What? What does that look mean?"

Angela cringed at my sharp tone. "He kind of has a point, Bella," she replied gently.

Jessica bit her lip. "A big point."

I was shocked beyond belief. Of all the people I thought would be on my side it was them. How could they say he had a freakin' point? "What? How?" I managed to sputter out.

Crossing her legs Jessica shrugged her shoulders as she reached for the chips. "If you walked in and saw him talking to a chick, one he had chemistry with like you do with Tom, how would you react? And don't lie," she laughed. "We know you better than anyone and we know you would have ripped his dick off and shoved it down his throat."

I cringed at the visual while Angela laughed. "While she does paint a very graphic and disturbing image, she's right. And so is he. I've seen you with Tom, I've seen how you flirt and joke around and it must have hurt him as well as pissed him off."

Sighing, I realised they had a point. I wouldn't have liked it if I'd walked in to see Edward being flirtatious with another girl, no matter how innocent it might be. Why didn't see that last night?

As if she could read thoughts Angela gave my arm a sympathetic squeeze. "I think there are some things you refuse to see when it comes to you and Edward. One of them being how patient he's been. He broke up with you because he didn't want you waiting around for him, he wanted you happy and while I don't agree with it, I understand it."

"Me too," Jessica chimed in. "Then he came back and he set his heart on winning you over and it wasn't like he waited for a couple of days, he waited for over a month! Then when you finally get back together half the time you're ditching him to be with us. I don't blame you or judge you, friendships are important and I don't want you to turn into one of those girls who dump their friends for a guy."

"But," Angela continued, "You shouldn't also be a girl who ditches a guy for her friends all the time. Look at the other day when you said you'd cancel on him to be with us."

"We'd just found a bra in Jack's locker!" I defended myself then gave Jessica and apologetic smile.

She shrugged her shoulders. "The point is that you didn't think twice of cancelling on him and you'd just got back together. Then at school you barely see him, you come and sit with us which I am grateful for, but you have to see it from his point."

Angela frowned. "You've just got the girl of your dreams back and you barely spend time with her. You don't get those intimate lunch moments like you used to because she's with her friends and doesn't see that you want to be with her."

Hearing this from them kind of hurt. Not because they were my friends and they were defending Edward, but because from they told me what I hadn't noticed. What I didn't want to notice.

All the thing's they'd said... They were right. I hadn't thought twice about cancelling, I hadn't thought about flirting with Tom. I had put him last and that wasn't fair.

"I didn't realize," I whispered. "Last night I was just pissed that he wanted me to tell Tom to back off when he-"

"Been there for you," Jessica finished for me. "Like we were. Like your dad was. The people who you put before everyone now because they were here when he wasn't and part of you hasn't forgotten that. A big part of you."

Feeling my breath hitch I repeated, "I didn't realize."

They smiled. "We know and I think even he does, but it's still got to sting. He made a mistake, Bella, a really shitty one and you have every right to hate him for the rest of your life," Jessica laughed. "I'm not one of those people who believe in letting things go, so you had every right to curse him on your death bed for hurting you."

"But the thing is," Angela continued, "you did forgive him. You let him back into your life and agreed to start over. That means you have to find a way to learn from your mistakes and move on together or, if you can't, move on separately."

I flinched. "I don't want to lose him."

Jessica grinned. "We know that too. You have no idea how lucky you are, Bella. Yes, he's made mistakes but he came back and he did everything to prove he loves you and always will and most women will never have that. Will never have a man look at them the way Edward looks at you."

I sat there in silence for a moment as I tried to calm my thoughts and put them into words. Into a way I could understand myself. "I didn't mean to do any of that. I thought I had put everything aside. I guess I haven't."

"That's okay," Angela rushed out. "You don't have to fix everything at once. But you have to see that you have to learn to trust him and you have to let him all the way in. Even though you're scared."

I couldn't lie, not to them. "I am scared. The last time I did everything went so bad and he was gone. I only had you guys. I had my dad and my friends."

"And now you put them before him because they won't let you down the way he did. And part of you won't give him the chance to let you down. That's not fair to him, Bella. Forget what happened with Tom, that can be sorted out, but you have to find a balance. Don't lose yourself in him like you once did. It's not good for you," Jessica added.

"It isn't. That's why you hurt so much, Bella. You let him be your everything, but then he became _everything_. He became so much you couldn't function without him. And that's not good for you. How about you let him be you're everything again, but this time go into it with knowing who _you_ are. It's all about balance."

"As cool as it is and as much as we love you for it, you can't always put us first. Edward needs to be a priority sometimes."

"So you're saying I was wrong," I laughed, wiping away the tears that had fallen.

"No," Angela shook her head. "Well, kind of. In most fights both are as in the right as they are in the wrong. Edward doesn't have the right to tell you to put Tom in his place. He should have sat there and explained instead of getting angry and throwing orders around. You should have seen that he was upset and understood why. The good thing is that you can fix it. You can work on that balance and letting him back."

I smiled. "I get your points and I understand, probably better because it's coming from you, but I'm still pissed off about that proposal," I added wryly.

Jessica scoffed. "Oh, honey, if you weren't Id slap you. What was he thinking?"

Angela rolled her eyes. "I have no idea, but it must have been stupid if he popped the question like that. You have every right to be pissed over that. I would be," she ranted.

I laughed. "Oh, I intend to be. I also intend to fix things though. Starting with Tom tomorrow night," I added. "Edward was right about telling him, just wrong about how he told me to do it," I chuckled.

Jessica nodded. "I say don't let him off the hook for the proposal from hell, but do fix things. Starting tomorrow, because right now I want to dance!" she laughed as she jumped to her feet and turned up the music.

"Can I remind you that he's pretty pissed at me too?"

Angela smiled. "Good for him. He was way too perfect before. Besides, it's good to get angry with each other now and again. It keep's things spicy," she winked at me as she jumped to her feet and began to dance.

Deciding she was right, I joined my friends on the bed as we shook it to _Talk Dirty_.

As we danced along to the music I let my thoughts drift to what had been revealed to me tonight. I also had think about why I had listened to my friends and understood while I hadn't been able to with Edward.

They were right when they said I put him last on purpose and they were right when they said that wasn't fair. While I was still angry over the proposal and the timing of it, I did intend to fix things soon.

For now, though, we had some dancing to do.

**EPOV**

_I was such an idiot_, I thought as I sat there at the piano playing and angry, intense melody.

Here I was sitting at my piano and thinking about Bella while she was with her friends. Yet again. Yes, I knew it wasn't fair but it didn't change the way I felt.

All day Id wanted Bella to come to me and tell me she understood that knew why I was unhappy, and yes angry, with her. She hadn't. Instead she'd glared, ignored and said I had a stick up my ass.

"You truly are a moron," Alice all but laughed as she sat down next to me.

"What?" I snarled at the small woman next to me who I considered not only a sister, but a friend who I loved dearly.

"You're a moron," she repeated with a kind smile.

Glaring at her I demanded, "How am I a moron?"

"Because you have no right to make demands. As much as you may not want to admit it, Bella has a right to be cautious. Even when she doesn't know she's being cautious," she chuckled.

"I know she has every right to be cautious," I snapped. "I just don't have to like always being last on her damn list. I don't have to like entering a room and knowing that, according to everyone that this boy is the person she should be with. I don't have to like her flirting with him in front of me."

Alice nodded calmly as I growled and snarled my way through my rant. It actually helped, I thought, to be able to get it off my chest. From the small smile that Alice flashed me, I could tell she knew it would.

"Okay, first of all, she didn't flirt with him in front of you. Bella would never do that. She has a flirtatious relationship with a friend from work and you have every right to be upset by that, but she didn't flirt with him in front of you. Second, how is she supposed to know if you never tell her? Communication, Edward, isn't that what you were trying to bring into your relationship?"

I sighed, hating that she had a point. "Yes, but it's hard to communicate with a woman who gives you the middle finger before point a 'Keep Out' sign on her bedroom window," I scowled. That had annoyed me.

Alice laughed. "That was funny, I must admit. The thing is, Edward, is that Bella isn't aware of it and until you talk to her you can't expect her to fix it. Talk to her when you've both calmed down and I promise everything will be fine."

"Fine?" I scoffed. "How can it be fine? She doesn't want to talk to me; I don't really want to talk to her at the moment. We're both angry with the other and nothing is fine," I growled.

Alice smiled. "Oh, I think it is. You want to know something, Edward? Your relationship is stronger now than ever before."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Barely. "How? We're not even speaking and I don't see that changing any time soon."

"Exactly!" she beamed. "Edward, before you left how many times did you gets angry with Bella?"

I shrugged. "Plenty of times."

"Nooo," she drawled. "You were angry with yourself, or the situation. Even I can't remember the amount of times you told her that you could never be angry with her and why? Because you thought she was perfect, that she couldn't do anything wrong. Now you're realising that she isn't. No one is perfect, Edward. Not even you," she teased. "Bella had just realised this and now you are."

"What does that mean?" I scowled. Bella had realised I wasn't perfect?

She shrugged delicately. "I remember a time when Bella looked at you with stars in her eyes and as sweet as it was, it wasn't a good thing. It's better for someone to love you despite your thoughts then to not see them, Edward. Right now she's angry and upset and probably wants you head on a stick, but she still loves you and that makes it real."

I huffed. "Well, real doesn't feel as good as you make it sound."

"No it doesn't," she laughed as she pressed a kiss to my forehead. "But it's so much better. Besides you have everything you ever wanted. You have a normal, young and human relationship with the girl you love. You should be happy," she laughed as she skipped away to join Jasper outside.

I scowled down at the keys. If this was happy, then that wasn't all it was cracked up to be either.

**A/N** So what do you think? Let me know in a review and say what you think will happen next. Oh, also I had a PM about FF deleting stories and want you all to know that I don't think I'm going to be deleted but if I am I will be finishing the stories on a site that was suggested! I love this story more than anyone and will finish it!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N**Hi guys! Thanks for all your amazing reviews! I would have got this out sooner, but I posted the next chapter to Girls Gone South! So that delayed the process. If you haven't read it, please check it out. Also, I would like to remind you of Alpha's Heart which is on Fiction Press. My original story of Natalya and Gabe!

Also, I got a bit pissed off this morning. I read a review for GGS saying as much as she liked the story it took too long and blah blah blah and it just kind of gets to me. I think there is a lot of pressure to get chapters out, good chapters and this is supposed to be something I do for fun.

... Rant over, lol!

Oh, also I'm not getting notified when I have reviews so if you do review and I don't reply it's not because I don't give a shit, it's because they're so hard to keep up with. I love reading your feedback and I do normally get back to everyone. So... there you have it.

Please enjoy as we are finally going to hear Jack's side of the story!

**BPOV**

"So you're still together?"

I groaned as I dragged the shopping cart into the cereal aisle. Not every teenage girl would happily spend their Saturday morning grocery shopping with their dads but I found it fun.

Tossing a box of Fruit Loops into the cart, I sighed.

I still hadn't spoken to Edward. I went to school every morning, we'd give each other a look and then we'd continue with our day. Part of me worried, while the other part of me knew that nothing was going to split us up.

Jessica had said that we were both too stubborn to apologize and I knew she was right. I didn't want to apologize. I had intended to talk to him, but he'd blanked me all the way through biology on Thursday and I'd thought to hell with him!

"No, dad, we just had a fight," I told him for the tenth time today. My dad had been fretting like a mother hen for the past two days. He'd gone from amused by the situation to worry that I'd go back into a depression if Edward and I split up.

"What about?" he asked, trying for casual as he read the nutrition of frosted flakes.

Snatching the box from his hand, I placed it back on the shelf and turned to him. "He seems to think that while he was away I should have sat away pining for him."

My dad nodded as if that made sense. "No guy wants to know his girl moved on without him, Bella."

Rolling my eyes I groaned, "He left me. What did he expect? I'm cute, I'm funny. I'm freaking adorable!"

"And modest," my dad muttered. "Don't forget that."

"You're hilarious," I drawled. "Look, I get that I messed up but obviously he hasn't got the fact that he has too." I hadn't made the mistake of telling my dad about the proposal. I wasn't stupid. "He doesn't want to apologize, I don't want to either, but we'll be fine."

"If you say so..." he trailed off.

"I do." I replied firmly.

I knew everything was a mess at the moment and I knew that a lot of things needed to be fixed between Edward and me but I had no doubt that we would. I loved Edward and as soon as we put aside all this we would be fine.

I had already taken the steps to fix things...

_"Hey baby."_

_I glanced up as Tom walked into the break room. It was Thursday night and we were on close down together. I was pissed off since Edward had barely glanced at me at school but I also understood why._

_Kind of. It still pissed me off though._

_"Hi you. Still busy out there?" I asked as he dropped onto the sofa next to me and let his head fall back with a tired sigh._

_"Yep. I'm thinking of just taking them all out. The way I see with burying the bodies and clean up, we'd still be out of here about an hour earlier."_

_I nodded and did my best to keep a straight face. "That's a good plan. Who's going to do all the digging, though? I have no upper body strength."_

_Tom shook his head in mick disgust. "Always with the excuses."_

_I shrugged as I flipped through my magazine. "I'm lazy. How are you doing?"_

_He turned to me with those dark eyes and for the first time I saw the genuine attraction in his eyes. Tom and I had always flirted and yeah it had been tempting to imagine a relationship with a guy like Tom. He was sweet and funny and kind of geekish. What girl wouldn't want him?_

_Me, I thought as I looked into his eyes and felt none of that attraction in return. "I need to ask you something?" I said quietly._

_He smiled. "You can ask me anything."_

_I took a moment to try and organize my thoughts so I didn't come off as a bitch or a big headed bitch. Eventually, I decided that there was no modest way of asking the question and so I had ripped the band aid off._

_"Now that you've broken up with your girlfriend, did you think something would happen between us?"_

_Tom flashed me a sad, kind of sheepish smile. "I had hoped." He sighed and I thought for a minute he would get up and leave, but he turned his body towards mine and gave me that little smile that never failed to cheer me up. "When I met you I was already with my ex and yet I found myself thinking of you. Constantly. Everyone said what a great couple we'd make and I'd laugh it off, but I thought about it. More than I should have. I said the once that if I was single then I'd be with you and I meant it and I think my girlfriend could see that I wasn't all the way in."_

_I felt my heart pounding. Maybe this was why I had liked him so much. He had wanted me when I thought no one else did. When I thought Edward hadn't wanted me. Who wouldn't be flattered when someone like Tom was interested in him?_

_"When we broke up I was relieved. I'm not proud of that. Now I'm kicking myself for waiting for so long. It only took a second, but when I saw the way your eyes lit up when that guy came in the other night... I knew I didn't stand a chance."_

_I gave him a soft smile. "It's him. It's always been him. I am sorry, though, if I lead you on or if I've hurt you in anyway."_

_"You didn't" he assured me._

_"You know he wasn't so happy about our friendship. He could tell you... liked me. For my own peace of mind I need to make sure there's no confusion. I love Edward. I always have and nothing will change that."_

_He laughed. "Okay. Tell me one thing. In an alternate reality would I have stood a chance?"_

_I joined in his laughter, relieved he was still teasing me. "Oh, yeah. I would have gone all_ Misery_ on your ass."_

_Tom got to his feet. "Thanks Bella. I hope Edward realizes how good he's got it."_

"Bella!" My dad barked from beside me.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I zoned out for a while. What were you saying?"

He gave me that grin that made him look so much younger. "I was thinking that since you did so well in getting accepted into Seattle, I thought it was time I got you that thing you've been begging me for."

I turned to him with wide eyes. "Are you serious?" I demanded.

Giving me a wink, he grabbed the cart and began to walk down the aisle. "Better get this shopping done and then you can find out."

I waited for around three seconds before I had what only could be described as a spaz out and began jumping and dancing around in the cereal aisle in the grocery store.

This was the best day ever!

* * *

Later that day, after my dad had just left for his night shift at work and I was more than happy to kick back in the house and enjoy my new best friend.

At a clap of thunder, my head shot to the window and I wondered...

Shaking my head, I focused on the now and what was happening and decided that a movie night was in store for me. Angela had a date with Ben and Jessica had her family over and so I was by myself, well kind of.

As the thunder clapped, the wind howled and the rain I sat in my warm living room wrapped up into a blanket with a Christmas moving playing on the television.

The knock at the door made me scowl. I was home and comfy and some jackass was at the door and threatened to let the cold in. Knowing that I couldn't leave whoever it was standing in the rain, I groaned and got to my feet and stomped my way to the door.

"What?" I snapped as I dragged opened the door. "You!" I snarled and as quick as I opened it, I slammed it shut.

Or I tried to.

On the opposite side of the door was a very wet, very tired looking Jack. Slamming in hand on the door he pleaded, "Bella, please just listen to me."

I gaped at him. "Why would I ever listen to you? You cheated on Jess, made her feel like shit and like it were somehow her fault. You sat in the very house and said you loved her, that you knew she was the one. How could you do that?"

"It isn't what it seems," he swore.

I shook my head. "I don't care. You hurt her, Jack. You destroyed everything she thought she knew about you."

He flinched as if my words actually hurt him. "I know. Please can I come in and talk to you?"

"No," I snapped. "This is currently a boy free zone. You broke Jess's heart, I'm in a fight with Edward and Angela is two seconds away from picking one with Ben out of sheer solidarity. That's how bad it is around here, Jack. And trust me when we can schedule time to make a trip to New Orleans and get a voodoo doll, you are in for a world of pain," I warned him darkly.

"New Orleans? Why New Orleans?" he asked with a stupid confused expression on his face.

I rolled my eyes. "Because it's more authentic. Go away."

"No," he snapped with fire in his eyes. "Angela's out and Jess won't talk to me. I know the only person who will listen to me right now is you. You know what it's like to have a guy let you down and you know what it's like to forgive him."

I gave him a dry stare. "Well, it turns out I'm not that good. So why don't you find someone else. You've caused enough damage."

"Don't you think I know that?" he snarled as he dragged his hands down his face. "Don't you think I know I have lost the best thing that has ever happened to me? I'm trying, Bella, but I don't know what else to do. I need your help to fix things."

I stood there and looked at him. He looked a mess. He was pale, his had dark circles under his eyes and even his anger and frustration with me couldn't wipe away the misery I saw in his eyes.

His words got to me, though. Fixing things. I had been thinking about that a lot lately and I wondered how the hell he could possibly fix what he had done.

"You have five minutes and then you're out on your ass."

He sighed with relief. "Thank you."

I held the door back to let him in and because I wasn't an evil bitch, I threw him one of the clean towels I had folded earlier in the kitchen. Taking a seat beside him I demanded, "Talk."

He gave me a look. "First I have to ask what the hell that is in your hand."

I smiled down at the plastic ball I held with my new BFF inside. "Oh, he's Rhino," I grinned.

"Rhino? Rhino, the hamster?" he asked with a look that told me he worried for my mental health.

For months my dad had promised me a pet, a hamster like the one I'd seen in the movie Bolt. A hamster I was obsessed with. So today, after our weekly grocery shop, he had taken me to a small pet store in Port Angeles and brought me a hamster. I was obsessed with him and had already uploaded twenty three pictures to Facebook.

"Yeah? And?" I demanded belligerently. No one was mean about my baby, I thought as let the little guy down to run around. It was cute every time he ran straight into that wall. "You're meant to be talking," I reminded him. "You only have three minutes left. You wasted time with towels and mocking my hamster."

Instead of using the towel to dry his rain soaked hair or warm his freezing cold skin, Jack held it in his hands. Looking down at it like it held all the answers.

"I don't know where to begin," he admitted.

"Start with the bra," I shot back. "Whose was it?"

He gritted his teeth. "Laurens."

I felt like he punched me in the stomach. I knew we all thought it, but to hear him say it. "How could you? How could you do that to Jess? Have you even been tested?" I demanded.

He turned and gave me an impatient look. "I haven't done anything with Lauren. I never would. I would never betray Jess that way."

I scoffed. "The evidence speaks for itself. If you would never hurt her, if you would never betray her then what the fuck was it doing in there?"

"I panicked," he snapped. "Lauren came up to me Monday morning and was flirting with me and as she was walking away she shoved it at me. I thought 'Jess could be here at any second' and I knew what it would look like so I shoved it in my locker and was going to throw it away."

I sat there in silence for a long time. "Do you expect me to believe that?"

Clenching his fists, he glared down at the material in his hands. "Believe whatever the fuck you want. It's what happened."

My eyes widened in shock. Jack was a lot like Edward and rarely used language like that around us, especially Jessica. We had teased him endlessly for it.

I didn't know what to do. Was he lying? Was he telling the truth? Should I listen or throw his skank ass out in the rain and tell him to drive off a cliff. Or should I listen now that he was finally talking?

Going with my instincts I said, "Start from the beginning."

Jack gave me a grateful look that made my eyes sting with the emotion I saw there. "It all started at the wedding," he all but whispered. "We were having such a good time and Jess, she looked radiant. I could picture everything. Picture the day it would be us. I know that sounds silly," he added sheepishly.

I shook my head as I shook out the towel and wrapped it over his shoulders. "No, it doesn't. It sounds nice."

He grinned and began to slowly soak up some of his wet hair with my nice clean towel. "It was. Then Mike and Lauren came over. I was shocked at first; I thought she was still with Tyler. Jess had laughed and said nothing Lauren ever did would surprise her. To my shock they sat down and we had a pretty good time with them. I enjoyed having Mike back in my life," he shrugged.

"He was your friend," I said softly.

"Yeah, he was," Jack muttered darkly. "About an hour before we left Jess and Mike went to talk to some guy they grew up with and Lauren; she just sat there and said 'Look at the two of them. They always did have chemistry.' I knew, I knew I shouldn't listen, but I couldn't help it. I looked over and I saw Mike lean in and whisper and she laughed and looked so happy. That's when Lauren said that you never forgot your first. You would always love them and cherish them. She then asked if it bothered me that Jess had always loved Mike since she could remember and did a girl really ever get over that?"

I wanted to slap Lauren and I wanted to slap this idiot too. "Jack, Mike broke her heart. She never felt good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. Man, she hated me because he had a crush on me and never seemed to notice her!"

"That was her point, though. She did love Mike so much. If you loved someone the way she loved him could she really love me or was I just rebound guy? I knew it was stupid and I knew I shouldn't listen but then for the rest of the night I picked to pieces everything she said. Every laugh she gave when he told a joke, every smile and I could feel it burning up in me."

"Which is exactly what Lauren wanted. You played right into her hands, Jack." I was sad and angry and disappointed in him, but I believed him. He looked too broken, too raw and too ashamed that he'd let himself get manipulated by that bitch to be lying.

"I know," he groaned. "But I couldn't help it. I picture them laughing and smiling and... Being together," he said pointedly. "She chose him to be her first, Bella, and Laurens right on one thing. Do you ever really get over that?" he asked so brokenly my heart hurt for him.

Sitting forward, I wrapped my arm around him uncaring of how cold and wet he was. "Yes," I told him. "Mike was someone she thought she wanted and knew she loved. Mike didn't love her, though. He made her feel horrible about herself and he knew it. He convinced her he loved her and when she gave him what he wanted... he moved on and he broke her heart. You want to know when she truly started to heal, Jack."

"When?" he asked me quietly.

I smiled up at him. "The day you came to town. The day she saw you in school and told me that you were the cutest thing she'd ever seen. You basically ignored her and it pissed her off, but when you got together... I've never seen her happier."

His eyes glistened with unshed tears. "And now I've ruined it. I was so torn up, Bella. The thought of her really wanting Mike drove me insane with jealousy, but it hurt too. I just needed space and I avoided her... I hurt her," he gritted out. "I promised I never would. I destroyed everything because I'm a fucking idiot."

My heart all but wept for him. "Look, I know something about when guys mess up. When they hurt you and it's hard to let them back in. Really hard. But not impossible," I added with a smile.

"How long did it take for you to let Edward all the way back in?" he asked quietly.

I was going to tell him a few weeks, but then I realised it was a lie. "I don't think I have yet. I thought I had. I thought that since I wanted him back and loved him and wanted to make this work then it meant I had truly forgiven him. I realised recently that that wasn't the case. I put my friends first... all the time because they've never let me down. And he did. I don't know if I'm punishing him with it," I choked out, "but I know I've hurt him. I'm not okay with hurting him."

He was the one to wrap me up in his arms this time. "He loves you, Bella. A fool could see that. Give it time," he suggested.

I laughed. "What a pair of losers we are. Look, as you can see, I know a thing or two about messing up in relationships. I don't want that for Jess or for you. Go there, try and talk to her again. That's where you went wrong last time. You shut down because it was easier for you and in the end it made a bigger mess. Wait," I said as a thought came to me. "What about the texts on the phone? What did she mean by that?"

He rolled his eyes. "I asked her not to tell Jess about what we'd talked about Sunday night. I was acting like a dick then but I knew I just needed time. I didn't know that Jess had clicked on to well. I should have," he grinned. "I just thought that I had more time."

Trusting his answer, I got to my feet. "Well, you've had enough time. Now it's time to get off your ass and go talk to her."

"She won't believe me. Laurens pretty much made it out like we've been banging in the woods behind the school."

I frowned. "Probably shouldn't say that around Jess. Not a mental image a girl wants about her boyfriend and arch nemesis. Which Lauren has just become."

"She won't believe and I can't expect her to."

"I believe you, don't I?" I demanded as I pulled on my coat.

"Yes," he replied. "Why do you?"

I let out a laugh. "I always wanted to believe you, Jack. It was only when the evidence was stacking against you that I thought maybe it was truly as it seemed. I also know Lauren and I know for some reason she likes to make everyone around her miserable. It wouldn't surprise me if Mike was in on it, too. He only want's Jess now because you have her and she doesn't want him. So, come on, you've wasted enough time. Trust me, time is precious and you don't want to waste it hanging around."

"Okay," he nodded. "Will you come with? I may need your help."

Zipping up my rain coat, I grinned. "Let's go get your girl back."

* * *

"I can't believe you actually walked to my house in the rain," I laughed as I pulled up outside Jessica's house in my truck.

Jack scowled over at me. "I didn't mean to. I went for a walk by Jess's house and then I thought that if anyone could help me talk to her it would be you. So I walked to yours."

I should find it sweet that he walked around in the rain for her, but I had to laugh. "You just walk by her house, do you? That sounds a bit stalkerish, dude."

He gave a reluctant smile. "I've had a lot of time to think about how badly I've screwed up. I should have just talked to her," he sighed. "I should have explained instead of letting it get to me. Instead of keeping it all in my head and letting it affect us. I ruined everything."

"You want to know the good thing, Jack? We're outside her house, I genuinely believe you and if you talk to her, so will she." I promised him and hoped to god I wasn't wrong. "Wait here."

On the walk down her path I thought of Jack and what he must have felt to keep it locked in so tight. How insecure he must have felt when Lauren had pointed out Jessica's love for Mike. I had always thought that men weren't very insecure in relationships and now I knew I couldn't have been more wrong.

It made me think of Edward and what he must feel when he sees me with a human man who is sweet and kind and funny and into me. How it must always be at the back of his mind that someone else is better for me.

That's part of the reason though, I thought sadly.

Before I could dwell on my thoughts of Edward, the door opened. "Bella," Jessica smiled. "You've saved me from family night. I saw your car pull up and all but leaped out of my seat. My cousin Andrew is such a dick," she whispered.

"I've always thought that," I teased.

"Where's Rhino? I thought that's why you'd come. Is he cute?" she demanded with a bright smile.

"He is," I nodded and tried not to go into a rant about how cute my new furry friend was. "He's at home running free in his ball. I don't like to cage him if I can help it."

She frowned. "Then, no offense, why are you here? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled and I thought for the first time in days, for Jessica, it was okay. "Jack's in my car."

"What?" she snapped her eyes sharpening.

"Just listen," I pleaded. "He came to my house a little while ago and begged for me to listen because he knew I could help. He told me everything and it's not what you think. What we all thought."

She shook her head in denial. "He's lying. Of course he's lying. He's realised what a mistakes he's made and he's lying to try and fix things."

I clasped her hands in mine. They trembled. "You wouldn't say that if you saw him. If you saw the look in his eyes. I can't tell you what to do and I can't say to give him a chance, but you helped show me something about myself and I want to help you. Even if you can't forgive at least hear him out. For you, not for him. Go," I encouraged her.

I stood there in the rain as she walked slowly to my truck and climbed into the driver's seat.

At first she could barely look at him and all he did was look at her and if I had any doubts left, they would have vanished at the longing in his eyes. The love.

I stood there and watched as he began to speak, to tell her what really happened. I saw Jessica shake her head in denial; yell at him with tears in her eyes. I even knew the moment he mentioned Lauren because her entire body tensed in fury.

For what seemed like forever for someone standing in the rain and thunder, I watched as slowly Jessica began to truly hear what he was saying. To truly listen and believe that while he hadn't meant to hurt her, he had and he was sorry. That all that had really happened was that he worried that Jessica and Mike still had feelings for each other and maybe he wasn't the one he wanted. That he let it affect him and he shouldn't have and he loved her more than anything.

When Jessica pulled him to her, when they kissed and held each other my heart was filled with so much emotion I thought I would burst. Wiping the tears away from my eyes, I walked over the car and pulled open the door.

"Come on, you two. Get inside and spend some time together. I'm freezing my ass off out here."

With tears in her eyes Jessica laughed and jumped from the car to give me a hug. "Thank you," she whispered. "For listening and bringing him here."

"I love you. I want you happy," I shrugged.

She pressed a kiss to my cheek and held her hand out for Jack. "I don't know," he grumbled. "Your family hates me."

Jessica shook her head. "We're going in my tree house, not in there. Besides, I won't let them."

Holding her close, he leaned over to kiss my cheek much as she had. "Thanks Bella," he whispered sincerely.

"Go," I laughed.

Turning, I watched as they made their way to the Stanley's back gate and smiled. I had helped do that and it was one of the proudest of my life. To be able to give Jessica, who had given me so much, her heart back. She deserved it, I thought as I climbed in my truck and drove away.

* * *

I was in the middle of cleaning out Rhino's cage when the door knocked for the second time.

Scowling at Rhino for trashing the place, I picked up the ball he was currently in and headed over to answer it. I was seriously considering going on the internet and seeing if I could order and bag that was designed to hold the ball.

I made a mental note to look into that later as I opened the door. "Edward?" I greeted in surprise. He hadn't come to the house in the past couple of days and so the last thing I expected was for him to show up.

By the way his eyes still flashed with anger I took it he wasn't here to talk about us and our problems.

"Can I come in?" he asked rigidly.

"Sure," I drawled and stepped back.

As soon as Edward entered the house, Rhino went crazy in my arms. He ran and threw himself at the ball with enough effort to knock himself out of my grip.

I gave Edward and scowl. "This is your fault. Rhino? Baby? Mamma won't let him hurt you," I called out as I tried to find him. He was hiding underneath the coffee table. Poor thing.

Unlike humans who had a vague sense of danger around vampires, animals knew exactly the threat they posed and ran like hell.

"You shouldn't have a rodent in your house," Edward drawled as he followed me into the kitchen.

I resisted the urge to call him a rat, so techniqually I already did, but only barely. No one called my baby a rodent. "What can I do for you, Edward?" I sighed as I turned back to my task, filling the base with that sawdust looking stuff. What was it?

"You got into Seattle," he murmured from behind me.

I turned once again to find his touching the sheet out of paper that my dad had stuck on the fridge with pride. "Yeah, I did. My dad's over the moon."

His eyes flashed to mine. "What didn't you tell me?"

I felt my hackles rise at his tone. "Because we're not exactly in the talking mood, Edward. This is the first time we've spoke in days. Besides, how am I to know that Alice hadn't seen it or you hadn't picked it up from Jessica's mind, or Angela's or half of my friends who know?"

That had stung, I could admit to myself. I had thought Edward had known about my acceptance and when he hadn't said anything... it had hurt. Edward was always so into me attending college and stay human and when I got into a college close by her hadn't seemed to care.

Now that I knew he simply had known made it better. A little.

"I didn't," he bit out. "Look, Bella, I'm not here to talk about us. The army is coming. Soon. So we're going to have to put our issues aside and get ready."

I felt my heart hammer at his words. They were coming.

"When?" I whispered.

"Saturday. We have seven days to prepare for a war."

**A/N **So, there you have it! The newborns are coming baby! Hopefully in the next chapter they will get the chance to talk and put this behind them. Let me know what you think! Would you believe Jack? Would you give him the chance?

Thanks for reading!


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